


Beauty Chooses

by DopeScotlandWarrior



Category: Outlander Series - Diana Gabaldon
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Other, Promise at the stones
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-29
Updated: 2019-02-17
Packaged: 2019-09-29 16:55:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 36
Words: 97,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17207276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DopeScotlandWarrior/pseuds/DopeScotlandWarrior
Summary: From runways in Paris, New York, and Milan, to the covers of Vogue and Vanity Fair, Claire Beauchamp is on fire. The lanky orphan becomes the princess on the pedestal until she falls down the rabbit hole into the arms of Jaime Frasier.“ I’ll find you. I promise. If I have to endure 200 years of purgatory… 200 years without you, then that is my punishment..."





	1. Claire and Joe

I hold my arms up over my head and feel the luxurious silk chiffon float over my skin. Six hands are crafting the gown around me, zipping, clasping and sewing. I touch the deeply plunging back and let my hands fall into the voluminous layers of the sheer fabric. The bodice of two sheer layers is gathered at the shoulders so nipples play peek-a-boo when I move this way or that. The entire dress is adorned with Swarovski crystals that catch the light when I turn. The tiny crystals are hardly seen with the fluidity of the gown but under a light source, they come alive. 

Skin glue applied to my shoulders adheres to pads sewn into the garment for a flawless presentation. The skirt panels of sheer chiffon expertly attached like petals of a tulip that open when I walk and flow around my feet like waves of water. The mink cape lined with cool silk slides off when I dip my shoulder. The garment is the jewel of the show and my entrance is center stage. I walk onto the runway... 

“Beauchamp!” My eyes popped open as I nearly fell off the chair I was dozing on. Hands lifting me bodily from the chair I stared into the wide eyes of my assistant Geillis Duncan. “Where’s your head? They’re callin ye!.”

Jumping from a dream to my feet in mere seconds made me dizzy but I found I was sprinting through a sea of people looking for the right chair. Hmm.. It would be empty, that I knew, with a very pissed-off stylist behind it looking wildly through the crowd. 

“C’mon Beauchamp!” I hit the chair just right to make it spin one full revolution only to be stopped abruptly by an eye-rolling stylist. “Are you like ten years old?” This is Paris fashion week for Christ’s sake. Try acting like the super-snob, Ooh! Sorry, super-model you are.” 

Two make-up artists were on me within minutes with continuous instructions to look up, look down, pout, close eyes, pucker, the usual. I waited for an opportunity to grab my phone so anxious to try the new earbuds, a gift from Joe. When I heard the music quality I smiled and closed my eyes letting the music take me …

Rough hands were tapping my arm saying “eyes open, no smiling. I glared at the offending artist but she was already barking orders to her assistant. I took a deep breath and tried to be more compliant. I loved the earbuds and fond memories of Joe were populating my thoughts. 

For a luxury yacht party, we both showed up on the arms of others for a celebrity poker evening. My boredom was made easier by silly faces Joe would make at me. Trophies don’t get to say much actually. I broke away from our group to explore the ship and was delighted to find a back deck that was empty. Feeling so lucky for the extravagant quiet I laid on a lounge chair and closed my eyes. When I looked up again there he was smiling at me. “I’m Joe and our respective men are deep into a poker game so I came to find you,” he announced.

He vaulted over me landing perfectly in the lounge beside mine. Out came a bottle of exquisite champagne, the first of two we would drink that night. We talked about everything. Starting with our life stories, then deepest secrets, and finished with our favorite fantasies. The dawn painted us in purple, blue and then orange fading to pink as the sun rose in the sky. Joe perched his head on a fist looked deep into my eyes sighing before reciting a beautiful poem.

“She walks in beauty, like the night  
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;  
And all that’s best of dark and bright  
Meet in her aspect and her eyes;  
Thus mellowed to that tender light  
Which heaven to gaudy day denies.”

“What is bloody wrong with you?” Asked in humor. He sighed again and said he would have fallen in love with me during the night but he only liked boys. “Oh! So I bet you’ve never seen one of these!” Standing up I pulled my panties off like a stripper and executed a perfect cartwheel as my short dress fell away from my nakedness underneath. Landing perfectly I gave him a cheesy cover-girl smile and he fell off the lounge laughing. Our friendship was sealed and our devotion to each other had begun. 

Joe didn’t belong in the fashion industry. He was an academic who sailed through Columbia on a full scholarship graduating a year early with degrees in metabolic physiology and engineering. He was also the captain of the rugby team I might add. He scored in the upper five percent when he sat for the MCAT assuring entrance to the medical school of his choice. Medicine was his heart's desire, modeling was a means to an end.

One night we laid out his roadmap to med school. He planned on twelve months of modeling to earn as much green as possible to augment his grants, scholarship, and loans. I amended that to eighteen months, the first six would be pumping iron and ballroom dancing.

“Wait… what?” His eyes were narrowed at me. “I don’t dance pet and how will that make me money?” I rolled the eyes “Grace, balance, and stamina are required for the runway.” Ballroom dancing would be his best teacher. 

I now had a purpose in life outside of fashion and fame and it was all about putting a Dr in front of Joe Abernathy’s name. The money might come but the path was fraught with issues that could derail his dream. We had to be careful and very lucky. 

“There it is Joe. We keep you on the runway and out of print work completely. You will shine like an altar boy for your admission applications. And don’t be tempted by your agency you bloody idiot.” 

I became his commanding officer. Mornings in the gym, dance in the afternoons and hundreds of introductions to key people in fashion. Joe looked like Tyson Beckford naturally. The extra muscle weight and crafted walk amplified his exotic look and the right people were noticing. 

Fixing his nerve induced nausea was the hardest part. “Don’t speak unless you have to Joe. Just look at people like you’re about to molest them, in a good way”. 

We attended a star-studded fashion gala together and I watched the reaction of people that got close to his orbit. The women would giggle and bat his arm like smitten 16-year-olds, with sodden panties no doubt. The men would watch him at a distance like voyeurs. He was ready. 

When we danced I filled him in on these reactions and told him how magnificent he was. His achingly handsome face smiled down at me. “Does this mean you won’t call me an idiot anymore?” I patted his shoulder, “that’ll never happen.” 

“Stop that!” someone snapped. “What?” Looking up at the make-up artist. “Tears will ruin what I have already completed. You need to read the stock report or something.” She dabbed at my eyes until the moisture was gone and retouched the track of a tear that spilled. I called my agent to check on the next two shows I had today.


	2. Jaime Frasier

Jamie opened his eyes in the predawn morning in the year of our Lord 1743. He smiled remembering his dream of kissing Laoghaire in the coves of the Leoch kitchen. Her sweet soft lips were warm and inviting when he pulled her close. Her arms were suddenly farther away and she reached for him as consciousness pulled him from the dream. 

Jaime said his morning prayers thanking his Lord for this bountiful day. He thought of the morning meal wafting through the air. The delicious smell filling his senses and lifting him up. His first step brought him back to the floor in praying position. “My Lord Jesus I have looked everywhere for a lass to love and watch over. I canna find her! I feel she is in this world but I need your help. Please help me find her.” 

Jamie knew to pray for his own needs was selfish but he could not help himself. He felt the loneliness in his chest when he descended the stairs. Somehow adding his wish for a wife brought his remote life to focus. 

He was laird now, called home to fulfill his duties. His homecoming plunged him to the depths of sorrow when they buried his father. He was so unprepared to lose the one man who stood above the rest. Father and son both believed Brian’s journey on earth was naught but halfway through. When they lowered Brian into the loving arms of mother earth Jaime’s heart broke in half and he gasped in pain. His sister Jenny wrapped her arms around him and Jaime clung to her. 

Jaime’s sister pushed the gathering off for a month after the funeral so Jaime could experience the celebration of the new laird. Several days of feasting, dancing, sports competition, and singing. Jaime and his Godfather set out for five days of hunting to supply ample meat for the guests. 

All tenants of the estate along with their extended families descended on Lallybroch for the celebration. Jaime reconnected with those he knew and forged new friendships that would grow in the years ahead. The unwed daughters and nieces were presented in a barely concealed offering to the Laird. Jaime’s smile was sweet and beautiful but his eyes were as hollow as his heart. 

The mistress of Lallybroch was sister Jenny. A loyal stand-in until Jaime took a wife. At five foot and two inches, her small frame held the compassion of the angels and the energy of an army. Fiercely devoted to her brother and his best friend Ian. The three of them were inseparable as bairns although Jenny was often chased away when the boys ventured too far from home. Jenny would sit in the parlor fuming in her abandonment until she heard the strap ringing off the bare arse of the boys as punishment for their folly. Jaime would run through the house toward his bedroom tears brimming. Jenny’s anger would flip in an instant when she saw her brother’s pain. Most nights she would bring him food when the house was dark and quiet in sleep. Sometimes Jaime would regale her with stories of their adventure allowing her a glimpse of life beyond the borders of Lallybroch.

The boys left home at barely seventeen to join the war in France. Jenny knew in her bones a great change was coming and she prayed them safe through the empty days without them. Her quirky intuition proved right when Ian returned without a leg and Jaime was on the run for murder. Those dark days would be replaced in time with her marriage to Ian and Jaime’s pardon for a crime he had no hand in. Those years were the battlefield for Jenny and hosting this giant celebration to honor her brother the reward. She was very happy indeed. 

Jenny carried yet more food to the outside tables as the afternoon meal approached. “Who has seen my brother? I canna find him” The young ladies forever hanging about hoping to interact with the handsome Laird giggled and pointed at a mound of piled wee ones. “I dinna ken” looking back at the girls. The giggles became laughter and the pointing continued as the little bodies rolled and tumbled to the grass. Uproarious laughter from the wee'ins and witnesses when Jaime’s red head popped up. He too laughed so hard he could barely stand. He growled loudly and gnashed his teeth sending little squealing bodies running with delight. Jenny lost her composure and laughed along with them. A sound so rare and sweet it made Jaime look to her. Blue met blue and they laughed together. 

The last night of the gathering was moonless and dark. Jaime stood on the hill bordering his property. He surveyed the many bonfires and families gathered around for warmth and storytelling. He stood alone and tried to count them but there were too many. Each married pair had at least three bairns sleeping soundly between their parents feeling safe in the protection of the laird.

Jaime felt a panic grip his throat and his heart hammered painfully in his chest. Gasping for breath he made for the wood that surrounded the estate and walked until he felt the grip lessen. Barely aware of his boots hitting the ground he kept walking until he could breathe again. He had no idea how long he struggled to conquer the fear that was still at hand. He turned toward his only place of true solace. His father. 

The gate to the kirkyard made little sound as Jaime pushed through it. He felt his way in the pitch dark until his fingers found the names of his parents and brother Willie. Dropping to his knees he reverently touched the gravestones and prayed over each of them. Sitting close to his father he spoke his heart quietly in Gaelic as his tears flowed. He spoke his fear, his sorrow, and the loneliness he felt as laird. Deep in the night, his tears stopped and his resolve to walk in his father’s shoes was restored. 

The soft voice of his godfather was heard behind him. “There ye are laddie. Have ye banished all that troubles ye then?” 

“Without turning around Jaime said, “Aye, that I have Murtagh.”

In the weeks after the gathering, Jamie toured each residence to check on the tenants individually. He paid special attention to the lasses and enjoyed their sweet disposition but none had remained in his mind. If the lass was pretty and sweet he would imagine a red-headed bairn in her arms only to shake it off and move on. 

Jaime continued to seek his love around every corner, every social gathering, church service, and invited guest to Lallybroch. As Hogmanay approached his anticipation and excitement were barely contained as his mind's eye saw her come through their door. One of the many guests that would celebrate the holiday with his family. Hogmanay came and went and Jaime returned to the endless chores of running a farm.


	3. Alter Ego

I was frustrated and a bit concerned when I could not get through to Joe. He had walked in three lesser shows and was plucked from the masses to grace the runways of Paris fashion week. His confidence was faltering and rather than boost him up I could only pat his shoulder while he vomited in the men’s room before each show. He was flying solo today in a show that would make a veteran model shit their pants. 

Time was short so I sent Joe a text with happy emoji’s that would translate to ‘I love you’, ‘be fearless’, ‘rock that fucking show’. 

I sighed and looked up at the image of my alter-ego. There she was, the woman in charge, who made the money and gained the fame. That woman would rock this fucking show giving Paris a flawless walk, beautiful face, and an uncomplicated frame for haute couture. In so doing she would rescue me yet again. 

I looked into the eyes in the mirror and whispered: “I’ll take over from here deary.”

Walking quickly to dress I passed numerous models quaking with fear and barely able to stand. I was disgusted at how young they were. Some looked about thirteen and utterly alone. 

I passed one young girl looking perilously close to fainting in her Paco Rabanne dress. I wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her into a nearby chair pushing her head down to her knees. “It’s alright lovey,” I said quietly in the girl's ear. Take deep breaths, that's it. My God,” I whispered looking into the girl’s face. “How old are you and where are your parents?” The little beauty shook her head looking at the floor. I ran for the food table and brought back some juice insisting she drink it. Sinking to my knees I looked into her eyes. “All these people and photographers are here to honor your beauty dear one. They are in awe of your flawless face and perfect figure..”

“Be brave.” With that, I sprinted to dress and find my place in line looking ruefully for my assistant. “Where the fuck are you Geillis?” I said under my breath. It was go time and I relied on her for a final check before my heels hit the wood. Damn her.

By eight o’clock that evening I again found my place in line for the Chanel collection. I felt haggard and desperately tired. When the show was over there were after parties to attend and Joe to find. I felt my bones and muscles telling me it was time to quit this life. Get out while I am still on top. A voice in my head said, “do it before your phone stops ringing.” Somewhere deep in my soul, I felt my acquiescence. 

This was my sixth year walking for haute couture. Plucked from a grocery store job at sixteen years old the scout promised me fortune and glory. He failed to mention the loneliness, physical demands and emotional scars I would take to the grave. The scout was right about one thing. My height and my walk, once ridiculed by bullies, became my ticket to haute coutier in Paris, New York, London, and Milan year after year. 

Growing up on the runway was privileged in many ways and terribly lacking in others. So when I was looking for love in a garden of young fashion narcissists I was unaware the odds were better for a mouse walking into a lion's den. I fell in love at eighteen and thanked the stars for meeting the perfect man. Coming of age with this amazing man pushed my life into technicolor. I was awestruck by literally everything. My virginity was like a king’s ransom to me. I knew something out of this world would happen when I let him into my body and I couldn’t wait. 

He brought me to a friends yacht and lit candles all around us. My champagne glass was topped off after every sip and his hands pulled sounds from my mouth that I didn’t recognize. His kisses became demanding, hungry, and intoxicating. My shirt and brassiere were expertly removed. More champagne in my mouth and deliberately spilled on my breasts for his awaiting tongue. 

I felt dizzy from the alcohol and tried to push the glass away but he whispered in my ear “one more big drink love before I show you heaven on earth.” I swallowed and felt my panties come off as he pushed me down on the bed. I suddenly felt extremely awkward and wanted him to kiss me some more. “Of course little love,” he said as he fumbled with his pants. As he came up to kiss me my legs were shoved apart and white hot searing pain shot through me as he savagely buried himself to the hilt. With every thrust I cried out begging him to stop. “I’m almost done” he grunted spraying my face with spittle. He pulled my leg up into the air and four vicious thrusts later he collapsed on the bed shaking and panting. 

I knew the first time would be painful. I knew he would pull me into a loving embrace and tell me how honored he was to be my first, followed by, ‘and only’. I ached for him to bury me in kisses and talk about our future. He rolled off the bed stretching and was only now taking off his clothes. Reaching for a towel he walked naked to the back of the boat and jumped into the water. 

I still had my skirt on and it was a wrinkled mess from him laying and sweating on it. I pressed it flat with useless energy. Twenty minutes later he walked in with a big smile shaking his wet hair on me. I was dressed and ready to go with my eyes glued to the floor. His happy mood continued until he walked me into the apartment I shared with two other girls. A perfunctory kiss goodnight followed by a lewd movement with his tongue and he was gone. 

It would be two weeks before I heard from him again. He was spewing apologies for time out of town and promised to take me for a romantic dinner. We set a date for seven o’clock Friday night which was canceled by text five hours after our reservation. Three weeks later another text about his schedule and travel and ... I let the phone drop to the floor and opened up the gates to my repressed fury. Funny thing about hatred and fury it extinguishes all in its path. No more loneliness and no more love and that was just fine by me. 

The second epic love I was sure would lay waste to Romeo and Juliette. It was a tragedy from day one, my twentieth birthday. During a three girl shoot to promote New York fashion week the photographer kept winking at me wit a dazzling smile. 

He called every night and encouraged me to pour my heart out to him. I would hang up the phone feeling cared for and a bit giddy. We dated for a month before enjoying sex with naked bodies and tons of kissing. I even had the pleasure of orgasm during intercourse. Once. I was ‘taking it slow’ but deep down I was in love. On our first date, he informed me this was a temporary job and he would return to his home in California in three months. We were together every day and eventually started making plans for a long distance relationship.

All my friends knew and loved him too. He would tease them, sympathize when appropriate and generally be a best friend to them and lover to me. He would show up at my shoot and blow kisses to all. So sweet, so cute, and utterly safe. When a day went by with no call or answer from him I stopped by his sublet. The door was not locked because the apartment was empty. 

The first two days I left voice messages so happy to hear his recorded voice talk to me. On the third day, a recording stated this number is no longer in service. It took another couple weeks to realize I had been ghosted. I missed his company for a while but that was about it. Maybe I wasn’t in love after all. 

Dating and men in general were off limits but I was never bored. The upper echelon of fashion kept me busy with invitations for a plus-one so I was always looking forward to something fantastic. I met the president, had dinner with Elton John, started the Indie 500, and partied backstage of opening night on Broadway, several times. Then I stepped onto a yacht party and was forever changed by a goofball named Joe. 

I smiled and shook my head. It was show time. When I walked onto the stage my face was a study in boredom, and my body felt bullet-proof.


	4. Down The Rabbit Hole

I snuggled into exquisite sheets at three in the morning with a deep happy sigh. Geillis would be out all night and I relished the time alone in this amazing bed. Sleep came for me quickly and I went peacefully.

I felt something crawling on my arm and jerked awake looking up at an insect in flight. It felt like seconds since I crawled into bed. My head fell back against the pillow and was struck by something sharp. “What the hell?”

A heartbeat, and then another. I knew in my marrow something was deadly wrong. I moved my hands along the bed but felt sticks, leaves, and stones. My body filled with adrenaline. Fight or flight was at hand.

I turned my sight to the impossible. Impossible! 

I could barely see the outlines of tall trees surrounding me and huge stands of rock below. The forest floor littered with leaves, fallen branches, and detritus. “What the fuck” came out of my mouth, over and over. My eyes were so wide they hurt and my mouth was dry from hanging open. “Jesus H Roosevelt Christ” “How did I get here from Paris?”

I stood in the forest absolutely silent as my brain scrambled to remember why and how I left the comfort of my bed. Heart ramming in my chest I wondered if someone had drugged and kidnapped me. Then why leave me alone in the woods? I didn’t feel dru… 

Voices! There were voices coming. Two men. What did they mean to do with me? I was terrified and pleading the one prayer I knew from childhood. I dropped to the ground shaking violently waiting for the men to grab me. One breath, two breaths, the voices were moving away. They lost me! 

I jumped up and screamed “why have you brought me here?! Did you bastards forget where you left me? “You fucking idiots! I won’t be worth your ransom if I freeze to death.”

The two men stopped in their tracks and watched a hysterical woman wave arms and curse like a man. One man took a tentative step forward. “Are you lost mistress?” When he saw what I was wearing he quickly averted his eyes. 

As I continued to rant wildly the men looked at each other in disbelief. My eyes nearly popped out when they turned and walked quickly down a hill and out of sight.

I took a deep breath and burst into tears. My racking sobs were desperate, the tears falling onto my nightgown made me shiver in the cold. “What the fuck” I whispered. 

I had never been so terrified in my life nor so cold. My bare feet were bleeding from walking in the wood. I sat down pulling my knees up under my chin. It was so Dark I searched for a light in the distance and saw nothing. Utter hopelessness wrapped around me like a cold blanket and I wept uncontrollably.

“I hope you bastards suffer for this!” I yelled into the dark. “Why me? What have I done to deserve dying in the wilderness like an animal?” I heard a deep voice behind me say “weel dinna know ye crime but I mean to see ye safe for the night.” I whipped around and saw a giant of a man coming toward me. I screamed and jumped up feeling the blackness swirl around in my head and the ground fall away. My spiral was intercepted by strong hands and warm arms. I heard a Scottish bur and a woman’s voice say “put this blanket on her brother.” I fought back to consciousness and felt the man walking, holding me against his chest. I tried to speak but it sounded garbled. “Calm yourself Sassenach no harm will befall ye. Rest now we’re almost home”. “Please don’t eat me,” I managed and felt a deep vibrating chuckle. 

I was brought to a house, a warm house. I could not force myself to wake up and wondered if this was shock. I barely remember a female voice soothing me and putting a warm dry shift over my head. I sank under the billowing quilt and drifted in and out of sleep. 

I could hear the woman’s voice in the hall, probably talking to the big Scot I figured. “She won’t wake up but she keeps askin how much do you want” the woman whispered. “She’s also wantin a phone.” A pause “I dinna ken, somethin they eat I imagine.” I heard steps walking away and a door close down the hall. I released a long breath and then blackness.

The bedroom door was ajar and Jaime peered into the most beautiful face he had ever seen. A Face relaxed in deep sleep he gazed at her. He felt her breathing inside his chest. Somehow. This was something magical he thought if not a bit creepy. He walked to the bed and sat at the edge looking down at her. He was very conscious of the feeling in his chest and watched her move with each breath. “A diha!” He jumped back shaking and was almost tripped by the rug caught in his feet. He grabbed his chest and whispered, “what the devil is happening.” 

The commotion pulled me to consciousness and my eyes opened at the man. “Are you going to hurt me? I asked in a small voice. 

“No lass” he stepped to the bed and looked down at me. We mean to see ye safe and back home where e’re that may be”.

My eyes never left his face. He was achingly handsome and the blue of his eyes unlike any I had seen. I was transfixed. 

“Ye dinna look familiar to me lass. Where is yer home?.” I could only stare at him but managed “not here”. 

He took my hand and brought it to his lips. “Rest now. Yer safe for the night and we’ll get ye home tomorrow.”

I forced myself to rouse and sit up. “Do you mind if I make a phone call tonight? I asked. “To tell everyone I am alright?”He looked at me with questioning eyes that turned sympathetic. “I dinna think yer people are close enough to hear ye call lass.” I burrowed into the quilt sighing. “My luck to be rescued by the Amish.” 

Jaime watched while she slept. He still felt every one of her heartbeats in his chest and decided this was his own dream. It had to be. He would go to bed and wake to a normal day on the farm. He laid in his own bed feeling her heartbeat next to his own. Rather than terror, it gave him comfort. As sleep came for him he wondered if this is what it felt like to be connected to someone in love. 

Jaime slept fitfully through the night, woken by dreams of her, one after the other. He could see her running through the wood looking around for something or someone. Dressed only in her shift she was calling for help. He caught up to her and pulled her into his chest. Seeing her whiskey eyes brighten at his face made him weak. He bent to kiss her with a soft mouth. Savoring the feel of her lips. His arm held her tight against him and one hand gripped her hair tipping her head to receive him. 

The next dream she laid on a fallen tree, eyes up to a sky full of stars. She was smiling and pointing at the night sky. He felt she was falling in love with the stars and his chest roared with jealousy. Coming upon her he pushed her legs apart and pulled her hips up hard against him. She moaned and moved her hips up and down his erection. He ripped at her shift pulling it off while holding her legs open. He pulled them farther open and saw the woman reach for him and arch her back. He plunged his cock to the hilt and her scream of pleasure brought him sitting up in his bed panting. “Christ!”

The final dream he found her in a field of heather, naked and asleep. He raked his eyes over her body. Licking his lips he was anxious to taste the sacred part of her. He inched closer. He had no will or desire to stop until he possessed her, body, mind and soul. He hovered inches from her skin. Lowering his face his tongue gently parted her lips exposing her erotic center. He licked her and felt her hips move and her body moan. He continued until her legs spread wide for him pleading for him to take her. He moved up her body and suckled her breast hard making her gasp. Time stood still as he pushed himself inside her. Both of them moaning deeply. He grabbed her hair savagely and ground his mouth to hers invading her with his tongue and cock. She cried out for more arching her back to push against him. Her hands grabbed his arse pulling him deeper ... 

“Christ almighty!” Jaime hissed coming awake. He was covered in sweat and fully erect. He blushed in the dark wondering how he could face the lass after all he had done to her in his dreams. He quickly dressed and took a deep breath before heading for the kitchen. His footsteps were quiet so he wouldn’t wake her but as he neared the guest room he saw it was empty. He stared at the empty bed made up perfectly as if it had not been slept in. Where could ye go in only yer shift lass? 

Sister Jenny pointed an accusing finger at Jaime as he entered the kitchen. “What have ye done brother? Is the lass in your bed then?” Jaime’s eyes flew open, wide with innocence and wonder. “She was real,” he stated, “she was here”. Janet looked at him and lowered her voice. “Did ye think it a dream brother?” Jaime was trance-like as he turned toward the door. “Murtagh is waitin to set the posts for the new field” as he walked out the door, forgetting to eat.


	5. Le Bristol, Paris

Joe arrived at Le Bristol at 9 o’clock the next morning. His head was pounding in time with his heart, his feet fell into the rhythm. Somehow it kept him upright and moving forward. He thought about the after parties and smiled. A banquet of food, drink, and beautiful people. He was pursued all night by two gorgeous American and one French model. He managed to taste them all before the night was over. His smile widened. Walking through the elegant lobby and passing the restaurants and shops he was impressed with the enormous paintings and period furniture of the 18th century. He had stayed with Claire and Geillis one night but his reality was a cheap bed and breakfast 20 minutes away. One day he thought. 

Knocking on Claire’s door made his head pound but he finally heard “Jesus H Roosevelt Christ!” and waited for the door to open. 

“My oh my, sweet Claire you look too well rested this beautiful morning. How is that poss…”

I grabbed his arm and pushed him into a chair while I paced in front of him. “Joe” I started. 

After ten minutes of rapid talking, I finally looked at him. His mouth was smiling but his eyes were masked.

“OK!, incredible story… Alice. Let us take an inventory of this very room. Hmm? Here we have a period desk, a clock, several large pictures, even door knobs, all 18th century. The place you dreamed, ahem went, might have been the same century by your description of the house and clothes. Ergo..you had a dream pet.”

I was sitting on the edge of the bed head in hands to wipe my tears. “I really went there Joe.! I was kidnapped and left for dead in a forest. I bloody well know the difference between dreams and reality dammit.”

Joe sat beside me and ran his hand up and down my back. His voice was so soft “well then, it’s a good bit of luck they brought you back.” I snorted at him. 

“Get dressed pet. If I don’t feed my hang-over soon I will puke all over King Louis’ stuff. While we eat you can tell me more about the blue-eyed giant.”

I shook my head and looked sheepishly at Joe. He was right. It was just a vivid dream probably inspired by this period hotel and my exhaustion. “Ok, I don’t want to ruin our free time today. How much time before you take off?” I asked heading for the shower.

As planned we had a spectacular day sightseeing, eating, and cocktails before Joe piled into a taxi for the airport. He kissed and hugged me tightly. “I had the time of my life this week. Thank you for every single thing you have done to get me here.” 

“I was betting you would trip on the runway actually,” I said through giggles. “Twice… trip…twice” more giggles my body bent holding my stomach. Joe rolled his eyes but his smile was huge and only for me. 

“Oh good!" Joe looked at his phone. "One of the American boys I had last night has changed his flight. Looks like I’ll be having seconds of that.” He looked back at me, “goodbye pet. Be fierce for your shows and I will see you in three days.”

“Au revoir mon amour” Joe yelled out the window of the taxi. I shook my head watching the taxi drive away. 

Geillis sent a text bowing out of my two shows tomorrow. Typical, I pay her way as my assistant but rarely have her company after the first show. Geillis lived by three goals. Short-range goal, he was gorgeous. Mid-range goal, he was famous. Long-range, very rich. Too early to tell but I didn’t mind the privacy.

I ordered a cocktail and appetizer for a quiet night in my sumptuous room. Warm leggings, boots, and a long soft cashmere sweater kept me warm while I enjoyed my food on the patio overlooking the Eiffel tower. My thoughts turned to the Scot as they had many times today. Maybe it was just a dream but “ I never want to forget your eyes” I said out loud. The night chill pushed me back into my room. I was feeling relaxed from the cocktail so I stretched out on the bed for a bit before heading to the indoor pool for a workout.

Instead, I dreamed… of him.


	6. Back To The Wood

Jaime could not get the mystery woman out of his head. Her absence in the guest bed at five o’clock in the morning meant she left their home earlier in her shift and bare feet. It could not have been much over thirty degrees at that time of the morning. If the poor lass was insane she would surely succumb to the elements, or worse, wandering around the wood. Poor lass, he thought. Her heartbeat in his chest had been replaced by an emptiness that he feared. ” I never want to forget your eyes,” he said aloud.

Murtagh threw a strap at Jaime startling him. “Where is your head lad? Ya been lost in your daydreams all day!” Jaime looked at the ground feeling shame. “I have to help old man Conner repair his front steps. I promised when I thought we would get more work done today.” He was scowling at his godson. “Ah never mind,” he said. “Get your head straight for tomorrow.” and off he went toward the stable.

Jaime wandered into the wood and sat thinking of the mystery woman. How could he miss her so much? He didn’t even know her name. Those eyes he thought. They’ve bewitched me. Maybe she is a witch and just disappeared in the night. He laughed at the funny things she said and wondered if she really thought they would eat her.

Lost in thought Jaime scratched his chest. Minutes later he rubbed his chest because it felt weird. “Christ!” he jumped up with hands on his chest. He could feel her heart beating in his chest! He looked in every direction jumping on fallen trees for a better view. He was possessed with the belief she was close by him and he had to find her. 

I smiled and stretched as I woke from my nap. I took a moment to remember dreaming of a tall Scot with beautiful eyes walking the catwalk with Geillis chasing after him. I giggled and opened my eyes to the same nightmare I had the night before! 

The scream I heard was so loud it pierced my soul letting lose every night terror I’ve had in my twenty-two years. Getting to my feet I turned in a circle and the scream continued. Deep in my hysterical mind I heard Joe’s voice…” it was a vivid dream to be sure Alice now just step out of the looking glass and wake up.”

I was sobbing and gasping for air so I sank to my knees and tried to calm myself. I’m dreaming again that’s all. I’m just dreaming. “Joe said.. its just a dream” Breathe and get a grip Beauchamp. When I thought my legs would hold me I stood and straightened my shoulders. I wondered if I might be rescued by the seven dwarfs today but found no humor in that thought. After what seemed an eternity I took a step forward forcing my eyes up to see every detail, hear every sound in case there is a message in this torturous dream. I walked on steady feet, waiting and watching. Fear conquered.

There was a movement to my right and I spun my eyes to see a man on his knees holding his chest. The Scot! Shit! He is having a heart attack! I ran to him and crouched down putting my hands on his shoulders. “Be calm “ I murmured. “You cannot really die. You are in my dream and I won’t allow it.” 

Jaime heard her approach, felt her drop to the ground and touch him. His mind was spinning and he felt nauseous. “Have ye come to weave a spell on me Sassenach?” he whispered. “Do ye mean to do us harm?” 

I looked around for the one who threatened the Scot but saw no other. “What, me? Certainly not! I do not wish to hurt anyone I’m only dreaming. Of you. Again.” He turned his head looking into my eyes, “so bonnie” he whispered. 

“Don’t be afraid” my voice soft and confident. It’s the two of us for now until I wake up at least. My name is Claire.” I leaned forward and kissed his cheek. 

The man stood holding his chest. His stare was intense making me blush. “Why are you looking at me that way?” I asked as terror took hold again. Maybe he did eat people smaller than himself. I took a step back and another. I turned to run when a large hand wrapped around my arm turning me back to him. “Dinna be scarit, no harm will come to ye as long as I’m with ye.” he said, still staring. 

“Ah! Yes well, when I was in third grade I used to hide my lunch to protect it but ultimately I would eat it! Bye bye now.”

I walked away from him willing myself not to run. I glanced back once and he was just watching me walk away with the strangest look on his face. My next step did not find purchase and I was hurled into a very deep hole, screaming all the way down. I was trapped and terrified trying to climb out before he loomed about me. Ten minutes went by and no Scot. Another five minutes and I lost it. “Hey! Surely you saw me fall into this hole. Are you going to help me?!”

“Aye lass I will” he sounded very close to me and I shivered. I saw movement above me and realized he was sitting against a tree at the very lip of the trap. “How come I didn’t see you there?” “Why make me beg you for help? Why didn’t you warn me about this hole?” Terror was turning to anger which I found comforting. 

The Scot rolled onto his stomach looking down at me. My God he was beautiful. His wide soft mouth was turned up in a slight smile and his eyes sparkled as the sun moved through the leaves. “Will you rescue me then?” I asked in my most innocent voice. When he didn’t move I mentioned “now would be a good time.”

“Aye,” he said dreamily. “I’m tryin to memorize every inch of ye afor ye wake up,” he said, “I have never seen a lass so beautiful so if its all the same to ye I’ll keep starin until ye disappear.”

“Ah, well before I wake up will you tell me your name?” I asked looking up at him.. “Ja-ah James … Alexander” I was trying not to giggle at his boyish charm “Hello Mr. Alexander,” I said.” If I were sitting up there with you I would shake your hand”.

“Malcolm,” he said still staring at me. “So it is Mr. Malcolm then?” trying to clarify.

“ MacKenzie.” he mumbled, “but ye can call me anythin ye want Sassenach.”

“I am very pleased to meet you Mr. Mackenzie” I curtsied for effect and heard the Scot say “Frasier”. “What? Are you fucking with me?!” I shouted. 

He smiled and rolled onto his back. “Maybe, what is fucking?” I just gaped at him. A minute later he rolled back to his stomach and resumed staring. “I’m sorry Sassenach but I canna remember anythin below your lips. I will try harder.”

I was enjoying his flattery and the fun he was having with me. I looked up at him through my lashes and walked closer to the side of the hole. “Why do you call me that?” The sun was suddenly blocked as dirt and pebbles rained down on me stinging my eyes. Jaime had jumped down into the hole looking quite pleased with himself. “Because it’s what ye are,” he said. “It means outsider, aye”

I was livid. “What have you done?!” Now we are both stuck in this hole!” Jaime looked quite amused. “Nay lass, see?” He moved the vegetation aside on one wall to reveal footholds dug into the earth. “You built this hole?” Without turning back to me he said, “Aye, I did,” and scrambled up to the top. “Why did you dig this hole?” I asked raising my arms to him. “I use it to catch little people to eat,” he said smiling wide. He pulled me up easily laughing at my expression of shock. When he smiled his face was breathtaking. 

We sat at the edge of the trap dangling our feet over the edge. His thigh was touching mine and my heart skyrocketed. Good lord I thought, I’m crushing on a figment of my imagination! Jaime was watching me like he could hear my thoughts and then he kissed my cheek. “I like ye too Sassenach.” I could feel my cheeks get hot with my blush and looked away. 

We talked for what seemed like hours. I didn’t want it to end but knew I should be waking up soon. Jaime told me of his life as Laird of Lallybroch, his childhood, losing his brother and parents. I could see the pain of loss in his eyes and reached out to hold him. He let me for a moment before jerking away. “Mistress! If someone sees us like that it will ruin ye! No man will have ye” he said. His eyes darted around the wood looking for the witness. He raised a hand to my cheek and whispered “that dear Claire would be a sin against all that’s holy. Ye were made to be loved and to choose a worthy man. Not be ruined by idle talk with a stranger.”

I was utterly astounded by his words and watched him closely for a sign he was joking. I heard him softly speaking a language I had never heard after which he crossed himself.

“What was that, a prayer?” “Aye Sassenach, I prayed ye wouldna forget me until we meet again, in this life or the next.” He was blushing crimson and kept his head lowered. 

I shivered in the late afternoon chill. Jaime held my hands and rubbed them. “Come, there is a fire at home. It will warm ye till you wake up.” We stood up and I felt deep regret to break our intimacy. Jaime pulled my chin up and meeting his eyes made my breath catch. “I’ll be missin your heart beatin in my chest.” he breathed. He lifted my palm to his chest and I gasped. “Do all your people have two hear…”

Claire vanished in front of his eyes. Jaime clutched his chest where her hand had been only seconds ago. He felt her heartbeat fade away. He let out a long ragged breath and then turned toward home.


	7. The Bonnie Witch

Walking back to the house Jaime’s mind worked quickly to make sense of the mystery woman ‘Claire’. There was only one explanation and he didn’t like it. In fact, he hated it making his mood turn distinctly sour. A rush of Gaelic profanity was spoken aloud to the setting sun. Jaime wiped his tears on his shirt sleeve keeping his head down as he entered the house.

Finding peace in his room he tried to sort through his revelation about Claire. She could disappear into thin air, she knew where he was in the wood, she dressed like a man in trousers that clung to her shapely legs. Her extraordinary eyes, the color of fine whiskey, jet black coils and curls framed her face and hung long down her back. It was obvious to him now. She is a witch. 

A mortal woman with her beauty would never see him fit to speak to. That thought was crushing. How can he seek his true love knowing Claire exists, be she witch or not. 

“You have beguiled me to steal my soul” he whispered. Jaime felt deflated. Dropping to his knees he prayed. “My dearest Lord Jesus, have I not served you to the best of my ability all of my 22 years? Have I not attended mass every week, helped the unfortunate, remained chaste, and honored my family?” Why then did you not protect my heart from the witch in the wood.?” “She is so lovely, unguarded, with eyes that could drop an eagle mid-flight. Heal my heart dear Jesus so I can live without her. Amen.”

Jaime felt so tortured, about God, about Claire, about his life without her. He crawled into the Laird’s bed where he slept without supper for the first time in his life. A fact that did not go unnoticed by Jenny or Murtagh. 

Once dishes were done and the Bairns were in their beds Jenny turned to Murtagh before he could slip outside. “What is wrong with my brother?” she demanded with hands on her hips. "What has bedeviled my brother?” Jenny’s eyes bore into Murtagh’s and he looked away from the intensity.

“I dinna ken,” looking back at Jenny. “He got nothin done today and nary a care about it.” With that Murtagh put his hat on and walked out of the kitchen. 

Jenny ruminated into the evening. Ian watched, disturbed by the storm brewing behind her lovely eyes. “Jenny” Ian’s voice penetrated her cerebration. “It's a man’s right to keep to himself at times, that’s all this is. Jaime is my best friend and yer my wife. So I ask ye, please let Jaime work this out, what er it may be.”

Jenny reached for her husband seeming to acquiesce. She knew one way to shake off worry and her eyes burned with need. In recognition, Ian wrapped his arm around her pulling pins from her hair as he kissed her with the force of his own desire. 

Jaime woke numerous times during the night feeling loneliness that he urged into anger. Vowing never to dream of her again he would seek the warmth of his quilt and promptly dream of her again.

He saw her at the river. She was bathing and naked. She was enjoying the water and did not see him approach. Leaning against a large rock at the river bank she closed her eyes turning her face to the sun. She was smiling. The water level reached the top of her legs and the moving current would rise up to lick the entrance to her sacred temple. 

Jaime could hardly breathe. She was exquisite and her happiness was creeping into his soul. Every movement was sensuous. Her palms moved slowly down her breast, one pinching a nipple. The other descending downward. Eyes closed she lay back against the rock and opened her legs to her probing finger. Her breath caught and round breasts bounced in response. Jaime was in the water moving toward her. He watched her mouth open to pant and moan. Her breasts were bouncing and she seemed oblivious to anything beyond her fingers. Her legs shot open and her moans became cries of ecstasy as Jaime grabbed her wrists. She screamed jerking her body up wide-eyed and fearful as she turned away from him to hide her nakedness. 

“Look at me Sassenach” he growled. Her response was slow but her eyes finally met his and his world shattered. “I need ye lass, now, before I lose my mind. ” He pulled her off the rock and she wrapped her legs around his waist feeling his erection press her entrance. She threw her head back and tried in vain to press her body down onto him. She moaned with need and pulled his head to her nipple begging him to make it hurt and crying out when he did. He twisted her hair savagely forcing her back to arch her nipples to his mouth. He sucked to the point of pain and she begged him to take her. 

He pulled her body away from him and set her on the rock twisting her hips so her back was to him. “I need to taste ye Sassenach and when ye come I’m gonna take ye hard. Drop to your elbows lass.” Claire dropped her upper body leaving her arse up high at Jaime’s mouth. He grabbed her upper arms and pulled her body to his hungry tongue. She was locked in position at his mercy to devour her. His tongue moved slowly at first tasting her inside and out. She was panting her breast shaking with his efforts. She could take no more, demanding he go faster and harder. He kept her locked to his mouth and gave her more fiction ramming his tongue into her depths while she screamed.

Jaime feared he would explode from need. He released her arms using his hands to open her fully bringing her to a crashing orgasm. “Christ woman, I canna wait for ye” his voice was thick with need and he pulled her down on his cock. Hands under her knees and her back against his chest he pulled her legs open reaching a depth in her that made her scream from the onslaught. He could feel his balls contracting and he pulled her upwards and dropped her again. He bit her shoulder hard pushing her upper body toward the rock. “Hold onto somethin lass” and holding her open he drove himself deep into her body over and over until her inner muscles gripped him hard as she climaxed again. Two more hard thrusts and he was in orbit shuddering against her wet back. Gasping for breath he opened his eyes and leaped off his bed. “Jesus!” 

His dream was so vivid it had finished him and he gasped for breath. His heart ached for her as his anger and frustration grew. He pulled his clothes on savagely. He would shoe horses in the dark rather than fall asleep again. He needed distance from his bed, and from his dreams of her. He came out of the house like a rocket. His first deep breath of cold air was a tonic to his battered mind. He stumbled to the barn where the familiar smell and warmth of the animals soothed him. Stroking the horses he cursed his weakness.


	8. A Souvenir For Joe

I felt the mattress under me and jerked awake bringing a shaky hand to my face. Still dressed in my sweater and boots from the night before I swung my legs over the side of the bed. Closing my eyes I tried to recall every moment of my dream. I could still smell him and thought it weird to have all my senses in a dream.

It was five o'clock in the morning and I had a full day ahead. Three shows, fittings in between, interviews, and after parties. It’s a good thing I slept well I thought. I felt very well rested in fact but something was not right in me. It was an ominous feeling like I forgot something sad. I stepped under the warm shower and felt tears stinging my eyes. It was sadness I felt and I was horrified. 

I sat on the bed with my hair wrapped in a towel staring at the floor. The loneliness for him and fear for my sanity gripped me. I wanted to go home. I wanted to talk to Joe. Mostly I wanted to get back to the wood and Jaime. 

I needed to talk to Joe immediately. I tried to do the time zone math and gave up. Fuck it, I’m calling.

Joe picked up on the first ring. “how’s my favorite girlfriend?!” Silence. “Claire I know this is an open line. I can hear you sniffle. What’s wrong my pet?” Joe heard Claire breathing and gave her some time to try and speak. “You know where I am?” He asked. “Walking down Michigan Avenue, in Chicago! I’m almost jogging, ew, because I’m late for a shoot”. He waited…3, 2, 1

“You're what?!” Where?! A shoot?! What about the plan Joe? No print work for at least a year!” I yelled into the phone. ”Idiot!” I was pacing now wondering who got to him, had he signed his life away, had he forgotten all I taught him. “Oh my God Joe…. you will never get to medical school now!”

“That’s better my darling” he cooed. “I am actually sitting on my couch with my friend from the show. And you are?”

“Jesus H Roosevelt Christ Joe! You scared me. Don’t ever do that again” I admonished. I heard Joe sigh before he asked in a quiet voice “would it be so bad Claire?”. 

“I do not know you!” I said and hung up the phone. 

I was agitated surely, disappointed definitely, fiercely protective of this man’s beautiful soul, no question. My phone rang, “Is this doctor Abernathy?” I asked.

“I’m sorry pet. Not a subject for a transatlantic phone call. I am sticking to the plan. No worries. Tell me what’s going on before boyfriend here makes me forget my own name.”

“I went to the wood again Joe” my voice was shaking as I said it out loud. I fear I’m going crazy because I’m falling in love with a person who doesn’t exist”. I let out a shaky breath. 

“Oh! I’m talking to Alice!” he said excitedly. “Seriously Claire did you sleep through the life lesson about misery vs happiness?” You are dreaming of a gorgeous Scot who makes you feel happy until you wake up. That experience goes in the happy column.”

“I know it sounds impossible, but I was really there Joe. His smell is on my sweater.” 

Twenty seconds of silence passed before I heard Joe’s voice “No pet you did not travel to 18th century Scotland last night.” His tone was soft and laced with fear like he was talking someone off of a deadly ledge. “Let’s revisit our roles for a minute, shall we? You are the level-headed one who has it all figured out. I’m…. not.”

“I was there Joe. Back in that forest with the Scot. His name is Jaime by the way.”

“Claire!” he almost shouted making me jump. “Sit down on the bed and look at the bottom of your shoes. Are they muddy? No, they’re not because you stayed in Paris in this century in your ridiculously expensive bed all night. C’mon Alice, you can’t live without me but you’re about to give me a heart attack!”

“I have to go Joe. I have fittings in the shower and a turtle at ten.” 

“Wait! Now he was shouting.” Come home pet, today, now!” You are quitting the runway anyway so there is nothing to lose except your mind if you stay. I am making the arrangements for you and will call back within the hour with your flight times.” 

I smiled at the tenderness and concern of my best friend. “I love you Joe but I can finish my shows. Besides, I haven’t seen Gelis in two days and can’t leave without her.” I’ll be fine and you’re right, its just a dream”.

“Claire” back to the suicide prevention voice. “If you ever go back again bring back a souvenir from the 18th century. Make it foolproof baby. Put it in your pocket so you don’t drop it.”

“OK, but why do such a thing?” Seconds passed waiting for his answer. “Because your pocket will be empty when you wake up sweetheart,” he said quietly. 

Joe reluctantly let me hang up and I dashed to get ready. I was feeling much better about everything. Joe’s suggestion of a souvenir put it all in perspective and healed my sadness. The insanity of that was completely lost on me. 

By lunchtime, I had two shows under my belt. I finally ran into Geillis and her new obsession. A strikingly handsome producer very well known in the fashion industry. She was practically purring as she introduced us. She broke away to walk me to the elevator. 

“Gabriel promised to drop me when he leaves at the end of the week. Sorry to let you down Claire but I will make it up to you, I promise.” She kissed me fiercely then spun and left me standing there holding my make-up case, a bag for my shoes, my snack cooler, phone, and plastic wrapped romper. A gift from one of the designers.

I was fuming and distracted walking quickly through the opulent lobby that hosted the haute couture show. I rounded a corner and smacked right into the back of a stranger dropping everything.

The catastrophe occurred in the grand lobby crowded with people leaving the show. I had fallen to my knees grimacing with pain as I watched my oranges and cantaloupe roll away. I wondered if this day could get any worse when I heard a familiar metallic click followed by the contents of my make-up case spilling out onto the marble floor. Two men lost their footing crashing to the floor when an unsuspected cylindrical shape rolled directly under their next footfall. The mayhem was of course witnessed by people in the fashion industry at all levels, all of whom recognized me. I sat back on my heels and let go of the breath I was holding. 

I looked down at the ground praying it would open up and swallow me. My knees ached almost as much as my pride. “Miss,” he said offering a hand to help me to my feet. I looked up at the second most handsome man in the world. “Wow” came out of my mouth before I could snap it shut. I held on to him as I struggled to my feet coming eye to eye with my favorite celebrity. He was the male lead in a wildly popular period drama about the Scottish Highlands and I was addicted to it.

“You are!” I said pointing my finger at him, eyes wide, mouth open, cringing from the pain in my knees. 

And a phoenix rises from the ashes I mused. 

“Miss, ah, Claire, I am dreadfully sorry. I was stopped short by the lady in front of me and had no time to move out of your way.” He was holding my hands but released me to pick up the jars, tubes and other shaped objects rolling around on the floor. Hotel staff had shown up to help clean up the mess. Meanwhile, I could do nothing but stare at him. Suddenly a flash went off in front of my face. I flinched and looked wildly for an exit. I was barely aware the actor had dispatched my belongings to the hotel staff for safekeeping. I felt his hand against my lower back guiding me to the elevator. Once inside I saw the throng of paparazzi push toward the elevator, held back thankfully by hotel staff. 

I crouched behind him, hiding from the wall of cameras. “Dan?” I ventured. When he said yes the voice in my head was screaming ‘oh my God it is him!!’ I just sighed and informed him “If this building was on fire I would save you first”. Rolling my eyes and hitting my forehead I felt like an idiot. He was laughing “well I’ll do the saving today Claire."

“Can you come out from behind me Claire?” I want to make sure you’re all right I would step aside but you are holding my shirt in a death grip.”

“How do you know my name?” I asked peering around him still holding his shirt. His arms were raised like he was surrendering. I surmised to keep them from bonking me in the head.

“Well I just saw your show with a friend and she knows you. She was in the business for many years and gave me the bio on all the models, to keep me from dying from boredom I suppose” He looked behind himself and smiled at me. Finally, he reached around and pulled me in front of him. “That’s better, right?”

I took a deep breath and dropped my shoulders, thankful for the empty elevator. “How bloody long does it take to go up two floors, or even three? I asked. 

“Not long once I push the go button I suppose.” He smiled at me again. I blushed with embarrassment. “Ah, Claire, did you hit your head when we collided?” 

“Very funny,” I said giggling. “Where are we going? Can you push the lobby please? I need to get to my next appointment.”

The doors opened and he nudged me out and to the right. “The hotel medic is waiting to check you out before you throw yourself at an unsuspecting Paris” he laughed. 

It was an American nurse with a thick Minnesota accent who came to check me. A young attractive nurse who no doubt caused her own whiplash trying to look at Dan. “Ooh your knees look like two black holes” she laughed as her eyes darted around the room. “I have a show tonight at eight o’clock and they need to be ready” I huffed.

The pretty nurse shook her head side to side muttering her disapproval. “Your injuries will heal but for today you cannot put your weight on the knees.” She looked up at me “that means no walking. Keep your legs elevated and rotate the ice packs, twenty minutes on and five minutes off. Rest is what’s needed for at least three days.”

“That is ridiculous” I scoffed. I stood to leave and crumpled to the floor like a rag doll wailing and holding my knees. I could not believe the agony and I turned my most withering look on Dan. “This is all your fault number 2” I seethed. 

“Oh now, you know I meant you no harm,” he said laughing. “Wait, did you just call me number 2?” His brows were lifted from his playing eyes.

“What?! No! Why would I do that when your name is Dan” I sputtered. Then without notice, he picked me up off the floor and put me down on the couch. 

That is when the nurse cursed under her breath and stormed to the door. “I reported your injury to the hospital ER and the doctor has ordered a pain med for you. It’s at the pharmacy around the corner she spat. The door closed hard. 

Dan came out of the bedroom in a big coat, scarf, and hat. “I will get your medicine and be right back.” He stopped and turned toward me as I was trying to find a way off the couch. “Claire, you are not imposing. Careena should be here any minute and you two can chat. After that, I swear I will carry you to your room and leave you in peace.” Then he shot out the door. 

I smiled after him and picked up my phone to call my agency. After that I called Joe. I positively tingled with delight when I told him I was with Dan and his co-star should be here soon. “Oh my God!” He bellowed. “How am I hating the one I love most in the world?! Wait! I can be in Paris in about eight hours. Stall!!” I thought he hung up until I heard a deep baritone voice say “he is in the bedroom yelling he has nothing to wear.”

“Please relay a message for me,” I said. “Don’t be an idiot! I got hurt and I am going to my own room shortly to rest”. Tell him I need a ride from the airport tomorrow.” I clicked off. 

The door opened and Careena walked through going warp nine, looking at her phone. She stopped mid-stride and turned her body toward me with a smile growing warmer by the second. “Claire?! what on earth are you doing here on my couch?” She bent to hug me and the ice packs fell to the ground. “What the fuck happened?”

It took three point five minutes to tell the crash story and ten minutes before Careena could stop laughing about rolling lipstick tubes and stuffy men falling to the floor. It was infectious and I couldn’t help laughing along with her. We chatted away and I gushed over their new show telling her I was a huge fan. 

I saw your show earlier and dragged Dan along. I always envied your walk, like everybody else I guess. I could feel my brows come together and my head shook side to side of its own accord. Careena suddenly stopped and looked at me with a questioning face. “You have the best walk in the business Claire” and side slapped my knee causing me to wail in pain and Careena to scream with apology. Both our howls disintegrated into hysterical laughter and gasping breath. And then Dan walked in. 

Two pills were dropped into my hand followed by a glass of water. Dan filled the ice baggies and placed them on my knees. After that Careena and I gossiped about fashion while Dan was mostly in his room. Looking into Careena’s eyes I felt my lids closing and wanted desperately to be in my own room. I could not lift my head but saw Dan walk by in a tuxedo. “Damn fine man 2”. I tried for a thumbs up but signaled something like a gang sign. I heard Dan laugh and smelled his neck as he laid me back on the couch and covered me. 

I heard them whispering and looked through my slit eyes as they walked out the door. “Jesus,” I mumbled, “what a stunning power couple.” Then blackness.


	9. A Long Visit At Lollybrach

For the third time, I awoke in the forest. It was dark and very cold so I forced myself to move quickly looking for a shelter. I was suddenly out of the wood looking down at a gorgeous estate. The full moon illuminated enough to navigate my way down the hill. My stiletto heels made my descent a bit death-defying but I knew the cold was a greater threat than rolling down a hill. 

Finally, at the bottom, I walked quickly to an outbuilding hoping for some warmth. I slipped through the door afraid of the animals until realizing they were each in a pen. It was warm inside and I searched for something to sit on. Fatigue was coming for me and I was feeling a bit desperate. I had opted for saving the warmth and closed the barn door leaving it black as pitch inside. 

The next step I took hit something hard and my toe jammed under it pitching me forward. “Oh shit!” I screamed and landed on soft hay which promptly exploded next to me. I buried my head in my arms screaming.

“Who are ye!” the voice in dark demanded. I heard the bur and prayed it was Jamie. I was frozen in place head buried and scared shitless. 

“Please, I whispered, don’t hurt me. I was so cold I’m only looking for warmth”. My friend's name is Jamie. Do you know him please?” “Aye” was all I heard. Can you help me find him sir?” My tears turned into sobs. I moved away from the man in fear deciding I should make a run for it before this transient kills me. “Oh God where are you Jamie “I wept. 

Jaime brought a hand to his chest to feel the two heartbeats. He could hear Claire weeping and it broke his heart. He could barely see her form in the dark but suddenly felt immensely protective over the wee lass. “Claire, dinna weep, yer breakin my heart. I’m right here.”

His voice was so unexpected I didn’t believe at first that Jaime was there with me in the barn. I jerked my head up and reached forward to touch him. I could still hear myself crying and hiccuping. “Jaime?” 

“Aye lass. I’m right next to ye” I had to get to him. My fear propelled me to lunge for him in the dark. I found his neck and locked my arms around it pressing my face to his warm skin. I couldn’t get close enough to him “Jaime I was so scared, so dark, so scared”. I’m afraid I am losing my mind, here again, why? Why am I here again”?

Jaime lay there with a woman’s body laying on him. His hands held out to his sides for propriety. He was stunned and frozen in place. His Sassenach was back, scared, fragile, vulnerable. His arms closed around her of their own accord and soon she was cocooned in his warmth. “Dinna cry lass” he cooed in my ear. “I am here, I’ll no let anythin happen to ya.”

I was so happy and relieved that Jaime was in this barn. Warm and caring. My body relaxed and my sobbing stopped. I melted against him and wrapped my arms around his waist reveling in the feel of his arms around me. 

“Claire? I, I am sorry my thoughts led me to a dark place after ye disappeared in my arms. I cursed ye for a witch believin you stole my heart. I feel ye now, so wee. Shakin in my arms. I want to tell ye I am sorry for my thoughts”. 

I could hear every incredulous word. I felt him wrap around me protectively. I felt his arms around me but not his hands. I pulled one arm from around his waist and groped in the dark until I found a hand. It was in the air not daring to touch me. Suddenly I wanted him to touch me with his fingers, run his hands down my body, legs back and breasts. I was throbbing from pushing up against him. 

“Jaime?” “Aye lass” “what year is this?” There was silence for a full minute. “1743 Sassenach”. 

The silence was deafening. “What year do ye come from then?” he waited. “2018” I whispered. I heard Jaime gasp and I tightened my hold on him. I was suddenly afraid he would run away and leave me here to die. 

Jaime could not make sense of anything except what he could touch. Time travel did not scare him but letting go of Claire certainly did. He felt her start shaking trying gallantly to hide it from him. His heart was breaking again at her courage and her fragility. From the second she laid against him he felt like the bravest, noblest warrior in Scotland, her hero. 

“Rest now Sassenach” he whispered in my ear making my hips press against him slightly. “Jaime? Will you please use your hands to hold me? Just for a minute, please?” He rolled slightly and I felt his breath on my lips. Jesus, his mouth was an inch from mine. I felt out of breath. 

I reached my hand behind me and pulled his hand down to my ribs. It was so warm and wrapped around touching my spine. 

“Yer so wee Claire I can feel every rib. Where are your corset and stays?” Jaime was astonished by the thin fabric between his fingers and my skin. “To touch ye” he whispered “its sinful and delicious, forbidden and life-sustaining.” He seemed overwhelmed with the sensation until he cleared his throat and the intimacy evaporated. 

The celebration I felt when he touched me with his warm palm was short lived. His body tensed suddenly and I felt him far away. I wanted him back more than I wanted my next breath. I impulsively turned my face to him and pulled his head down on mine. It was like kissing a statue. I moaned and moved against him and he moved away from me. 

I dropped my forehead to his chin and tried to catch my breath. I lifted my eyes to his mouth and my heart squeezed with hunger. ” I need to feel your mouth Jaime because it's breaking my heart. May I, please?” 

“Aye lass”. I pressed my lips to his and compared them to a piece of raw liver. No movement or warmth. I wondered if he was terrified of me. I pressed my lips against him again and began kissing him with warmth. I licked between his lips coaxing them open. I felt him open a tiny bit and I licked back and forth in the tiny opening. Beckoning him to taste me. 

I backed off and kissed his neck sucking just a little. I stopped. His hand came up into my hair. I went back to his mouth. I pressed a chaste kiss with my closed mouth. I felt his fingers tighten slightly and I let out a breath feeling my wet panties. I wanted more. 

My mind was becoming foggy with lust and I forced my hands to still and my panting to stop. The stilling of my upper body seemed to force the energy down into my groin. I reached for his chin to pull his mouth toward me. I felt his ramming heart quite accidentally and then I knew he felt it too. All of it. 

“I am so glad you are here with me Jaime” I whispered. “I don’t know why I am here but something is happening between us and I can’t stop it. I need you to touch me Jaime. Please touch me.”

I heard a growl deep in Jaime’s chest as he rolled to his side and pulled me under him. I latched onto his neck, sucking and flicking my tongue. A powerful shudder went through him and he wrapped his hand into my hair pulling my head back so he could crush his lips to mine. His tongue was demanding pushing my lips open so he could invade my mouth. He groaned as his hand moved up and covered my breast. My head was spinning. I felt him yank the fabric aside exposing my breast and then his mouth latched on. He sucked so hard it was painful and I cried out. He was shifting position to expose the other breast and I felt his erection pressing my thigh. It felt like he was everywhere pushing me into drunken lust. 

“Open your eyes Claire” I heard the instructions far, far away. The pulsing of my pussy was too demanding to ignore. “Please” I whined lifting my hips to find him. 

“Open your eyes mo gràdhag I need you to see me” he breathed.

I forced my eyes to open and looked into deep pools of blue azure. I was pulled to them wanting to fall into him. “Oh Jaime”. With his name on my breath he laid his erection down on my throbbing clit and kissed me deeply. My legs opened on their own and he pushed up against me. I felt my sharp intake of air and then my world tilted and the wave came up to claim me. Shuttering against him I let it take me and my hip rolled against him to push it along. 

When I came back to earth I squeezed my eyes shut. Terrified I would wake up in my hotel room without him. My hands gripped his arms tightly. He was still flesh. 

I felt his hand push a curl behind my ear and he called to me. I shook my head no and tightened my grip on him. “My sweet Claire I am here, open your eyes mo gràdhag. I looked up at him and was captured by the intensity in his eyes. Tears filled my eyes and I felt my cold heart open to him. “Jaime” was all I could manage. 

“Are ye well love?” I could not break the gaze between us. I shook my head yes. Jaime’s smile was beaming and warm. Ye left with the angels for a time did ye naught? Did my body do that to ye?” I shook my head yes. 

“Yer a rare woman Claire. I canna possess ye but I can thank God for every minute I’m with ye” He kissed me softly, holding me close and I felt his energy filling me up.” 

“Jesus H Roosevelt Christ” What just happened between us? Why did you stop?

Jaime blushed and dropped his gaze. I’ve a need for ye that I canna control. Like a beast, I can feel it trying to burst out of me and take ye savagely. I’m afraid for ye, ken?” His blue eyes were alternating pools of desire and fear. “Yer so small I dinna want to hurt ye.”

I touched his face “Jaime are you chaste?” 

He tried to look at me but lowered his head. “Aye lass, tis what my mother taught me. To save that part of myself for the woman that becomes my wife. It has never been more than a fleeting temptation to seek that desire with a lass. Until now.” 

Jaime looked down at me with tender eyes that became hungry when he moved his hand over my ribs. “I have wanted you for so long. Now Yer here but I canna have ye for my own.” I could see fear seep into his eyes and in that moment I wanted to kiss away all his pain and let my body answer his in the most ancient language.

“Claire, I have somethin to ask ye” his voice barely a whisper “do ye belong to another man in your world?”

“No”

Jaime took a deep breath and exhaled as his smile grew. “Good. Thank God” was a whisper.


	10. A Long Visit To Lollybrach 2

A door banged closed somewhere outside making us both jump. Jaime looked up at the cracks in the barn and realized dawn had come. We heard footsteps coming toward the barn and a woman’s voice muttering. “I think yer about to meet my sister,” he said with a half smile. 

“Up before me brother and no supper last night. Ye have me worrit. Ian told me to let it be but I canna.” Just then the door to the barn opened and Jaime’s sister Jenny stood rooted to the ground. I looked in her eyes and did not see malice but I watched her struggle to comprehend my presence. 

Jaime watched his sister with growing interest. He braced himself for her interrogation but her behavior was a sharp contrast. Her eyes had not left mine for a second. 

“I worrit after ye left in the night,” she told me. “Where can a lassie go dressed only in her shift?” 

Jaime saw Jenny trembling and walked to her. “Are you well Jenny? What is amiss?”

“Time to cook breakfast. Will ye be joinin us lass?”

“Thank you Jenny,” I said getting up “I would love that” When I stood in my form-fitting dress and high heels I thought Jenny might faint.” Looking at Jaime I thought he might faint right along with her.

“Holy mother of God” Jenny exclaimed. “Where’s yer skirts lass?!”

“I uh, this is all I have” I felt ashamed and looked at the ground. I heard a frantic order from her to Jaime in another language. Not waiting for him Jenny shot forward to stand in front of me, her wide skirt blocking any view of my bare legs. 

Rabbie McNab wandered into the barn looking half asleep still. Jaime was quick to intercept him. “Aye laddie just in time to start the morning chores” Murtagh will be needin yer help today. Go on and find him in the kitchen then.” 

Rabbie looked compliantly bored and walked out of the barn. Jenny let her breath out and slumped. “Jamie go distract Rabbie and Murtagh until I can get the lass inside”. Jaime left as ordered. “Come lass," she grabbed my hand and we sprinted toward the kitchen’s back door and stairs.”

Once inside Jenny kept running dragging me along. Up the stairs we went until we were in a large masculine bedroom. There was a huge four poster bed, a large fireplace, a chair, and a reading table. I also noticed a trunk and a dresser. 

Jenny was breathing heavy, hands on her hips. “That chest there has our mam’s clothes. She was tall like you so find something in there to where.”

“I won’t be here long Jenny” Perhaps I could stay in here until”

Jenny leveled her gaze at me, her face fearful and resigned. “Until what?” Jenny turned to leave and spoke with her back to me. “I know ye arna real. I have seen ya before. Many times. Yer fetch. Jaime was in love with ye before he ever laid eyes on ye, aye? Are ye here to take him from us?” Her voice was shaking and she did not turn around. I opened my mouth with a hundred questions of my own.

The door flew open and Jamie closed it behind him. He was transfixed and staring at me now that he could see me in the light. He was unabashedly looking at my bare legs and arms like he could not rip his gaze away. I blushed fiercely. 

Jenny slapped him on the head bringing him out of his reverie. “The lass says she’ll be on her way soon enough. You must stay in this room an no make a sound. Ya canna walk of the floor because the creekin will have ye found.” 

“The ladies are comin to die wool today. Laoghaire will be with em cause she’s visitin her brother. All those lasses need is ta hear ye breathin and I canna stop them from chargin up here after ye.” 

“Not a sound from us Jenny, promise”. He said. 

“Get dressed lass. If yer caught ye’ll likely hang for what ye don’t have on.” Jenny closed the door behind her and hurried downstairs. Breakfast was very late already. 

I could only look down at the floor feeling like an alien truly a burden to these people. I felt Jaime’s hand under my chin pulling it up so I would look at him. “Before the ladies force us quiet let's figure out how and when ye come here and what might be done about it.”

I felt tears filling my eyes thinking Jaime wanted to “fix” the crack between our worlds that allowed me to slip through. I felt panic about not seeing him again. “I’m sorry” was all I could muster. “Three days in a row I have caused you trouble. If I knew how to stop it I would.” 

Warm arms came around my waist and I leaned into his strength, it felt like home. Jaime’s voice in my ear was a balm to a broken heart. “Nay lass. Ye need to keep comin back, however that may be, ye ken? Whatever magic puts yer heartbeat in my chest when yer near is my priority. “ Tell me how it happens Claire”

I spoke rapidly as Jaime watched for the ladies from the window. He asked several questions about the time I would sleep or wake. He mentioned his theory that daytime in my world was nighttime here. Looking puzzled he asked me how I could be here in the middle of the night when I found him in the barn. 

I explained how I was hurt and being cared for by Dan adding Careena when Jaime’s eyes looked stormy. “The pain pills knocked me out early in the afternoon and I awoke in the wood late at night.” He grabbed my shoulders looking at me with guarded happiness. 

“If I’m right about the time difference then you lass are here for the day” he was smiling and I felt the relief of knowing he wanted me here as much as I wanted to be here. For now anyway I forced myself to relax and focus on the Scot. 

We heard the voices of women coming up from the dooryard below. I stopped breathing as I tried to recall Jenny’s words about females storming the bedroom. I opened my mouth to speak and felt lifted from my feet and propelled into the huge bed still clinging to Jaime. He laughed quietly as the shock registered on my face. 

“Sorry lass, we canna risk walkin about on creekin floors, aye?” I blinked. His face so close to mine I felt his breath on my skin. “It will be some time yer stuck wi’ me here so let's see ye comfortable.” He shoved numerous pillows behind me as I sat up. His hand reached for my bare knee and slid up my thigh a few inches then down the other leg to my ankle. I felt my face flush and smiled shyly.

He whispered questions about my life in 2018 while his hands continued to explore my skin. He asked how I managed to exist without a husband mentioning my advanced age to be single. I told him about the rights of women to marry or not, choose their own husbands, own land, and have meaningful careers for self-support. 

He pulled my hand against his chest and I felt both heartbeats. “What is it ye do to sustain yer life Sassenach?” he whispered. I moved down the bed and turned on my side to look at him. I described my life as a model, the runway, the fame, and my modest wealth. As I spoke of fashion and haute coutier I didn’t feel his heartbeat speed up until it was ramming his chest. 

His eyes were dark and his expression a storm of emotion. I suddenly felt alone in his bed. “What is it?” I touched his face and his hand covered mine. “Ye say people are allowed to look at yer body and ye encourage this? Yer parts are bare like ye are now?” He was struggling. “Sassenach I am jealous of the whole world thinkin such. Someone might grab ye for there own and I canna protect ye.” 

“Well, don’t worry anymore about it” I whispered. “I made the decision to retire from the catwalk before I met you. I will do print work, campaigns, hopefully acting in the future.” I was pushing my hands through his hair letting my nails scratch his scalp. Jaime closed his eyes and smiled at my touch. 

“Do ye tie a wee rope on the neck to keep then from runnin off?” opening his questioning eyes to me. “What?” I asked. “The cats that ye walk” lost again in my ministrations. The giggle I felt was halted by steps outside the door.

Jamie was on his feet in seconds making no sound as he cautiously made for the door. A light tapping and then Jenny’s voice outside the door followed by her steps retreating down the hall. Becoming aware of the voices in the dooryard below my heart sank because our lockup must be over.

Jaime listened at the door before he retrieved a tray of food and drink from the hall. My face lightened at the food and my stomach growled. Jaime was silent stepping back to his bed and setting the tray down. He moved up behind me. 

“Don’t we have to leave your room now, ah before someone is ruined?” Just saying the words made me giggle. “Sorry lass, the ladies will be another four hours dyin the wool. Ye’ll no be getting away anytime soon.” 

I shoved unknown food into my mouth and found it delicious. Leaning back against Jaime an “Mmmm” escaped me before I could slap a hand over my mouth. 

“Swallow yer food lass” his husky voice so close to my ear made the hair stand up on my neck. I swallowed in time for Jaime to pull me down and claim my mouth. My whole being was held by his kiss. Food forgotten I melted and let him pull me down under him. My head was spinning and I gasped for breath when he broke the kiss. Finally, I thought, time to finish what we started in the barn. Anticipating a second kiss and then a third I was surprised to feel Jaime moving away from me on the bed. 

“Tell me what happened to ye in the barn Sassenach. I heard ye wee noises like a branding iron in my, um” 

A heartbeat and another waiting for Jaime to find the words causing his crimson ear tips and cheeks. “I watched the pleasure on yer face just like now when ye tasted the food except a hundred times more. Sassenach, did I cause that when I laid on ye?” 

My urgent need for more kisses forgotten I looked at him for a clue what he was asking me. “Jaime, are you asking if I had an orgasm? Um, if I found my release?” 

“Aye Sassenach”.

“Well… yes.” I finally said. 

Jaime’s eyes were wide with wonder. I felt his hand on my hip pulling me down again and pressing me into the bed for another sweet kiss. His tongue was a soft invitation on my lips. I opened my mouth to him feeling his hands become more insistent. Cupping my breast he shoved fabric aside and latched onto my bare nipple. My sharp intake of breath made Jaime look up at me before he captured my soul in another earth shattering kiss. 

I could not breathe but I kissed him back with ferocious need my hands gripping his hair and pulling his face to mine. “Sassenach I canna touch ye anymore! Somethin inside me will hurt ye and I canna stop it.” He looked absolutely tortured and tried to move away but I pulled us together rolling on top of him. I straddled him sitting up to look in his hungry eyes. He was tense so I willed my hips to still. I moved a hand across his muscled chest and down his arms lifting his hand to my breast. Slowly he moved fingers under the fabric and gripped my nipple hard. I groaned and my hips moved slightly. 

“Yer beautiful mo gràdhag he whispered reverently. Ye canna sit on me such its drivin every sensible thought from my head.” 

I reached for his other hand and placed his palm on my round arse. He squeezed hard and released my nipple to hold the opposite hip. He moved my hips slightly and gasped. My eyes were closed. “Again” I whispered. “Please Jaime you won’t hurt me I promise. Touch me.” 

Strong hands gripped my hips and moved me up and down his erection. I heard him groan and flip me easily under him. His kisses were needy and intoxicating. His hands were sliding up my thigh and hip. Fingers felt my thong and he traced the elastic band across my stomach making my insides flinch. His face was a study in wonder, then lust, then wonder again. His palm timidly wrapped itself around my heat causing my hips to shoot up toward the pressure. My hands started to shake. I needed air but instead pulled his lips to mine. My hand came down over his and I pushed his fingers into me showing him how to touch me there. 

“I need ya lass before I lose my mind” he breathed. The women were singing quite loudly now. Our ‘wee noises’ were louder sending a message to each other that pushed desire to places unknown to either of us. “Tell me mo gràdhag” Jaime gasped “how does this thing come off.” 

“If you flip us over I’ll show you” my voice laced with the promise of yet another level higher. In a blur I was again straddling Jaime and I pulled at the hem of my dress until it was over my head and dropped to the floor. 

Jaime sat up with wide eyes.’’Dinna move Sassenach!” he pleaded. His hands moved up my arms and down my back. His palm circled my stomach and moved to my breasts then down my ribs and around to cup my arse. His gaze followed his hands and his eyes smoldered when his palm slid under me between my legs. I closed my eyes and arched my back wanting this. I slid my hand down atop his again as I pushed certain fingers into my most intimate places. He caught on quickly and pushed my need to the level of the angels. “Oh God Jaime! Ah.. don’t stop I am so close.” Pressing his fingers again I rolled my hips and fell into the exquisite explosion. I opened my eyes as Jaime’s hand covered my mouth whispering his apologies. 

I giggled and pushed him down on the bed. I looked for a way to get his shirt off and one second later he jerked it over his head. “How did you know what I … Oh my God you are beautiful!” I stammered. Jaime laughed pulling me under him effortlessly. He pressed his erection into my thigh and it felt quite large now. His hand pulled at panties until they too found the floor. I pulled at his belt until it came away and his kilt melted off of him. I wanted to look at him and moved a bit in that endeavor finally giving him my back to remove my brassier. 

He turned me towards him nudging his knee in between my thighs and pressing me into the mattress. He was the king of my world at the moment and I a slave to his pleasure. He moved closer his kiss deepening with need. When his finger found my clit my legs opened wide. I pulled him to me. Never breaking eye contact he pushed himself into me and gasped. He stopped and spoke to me in his language his eyes never leaving mine. Deep in my cold heart I felt myself move over to make room for him.

“mo gràdhag” he gasped “I canna stop it's too late.” He looked horrified until I bit him quite hard on his neck turning his eyes dark. He reached under me lifting my pelvis and pushed his length into me over and over again. Stopping once again to breathe. “Are ye well Sassenach” I could only arch into him and beg for more. I could feel the heat building up in me and I pushed my hips up seeking release. Jamie lifted my leg up over his shoulder. He was staring at his cock buried inside me. “My sweet Jesus Claire yer drivin me mad” he gasped. His body pounded into me and I lost it almost screaming in my release. Jaime gasped when my inner muscles latched down on his cock. “Harder Jaime, please don’t stop” I encouraged until he pushed deep into me and found his own release. 

My lust-drunk mind was swirling in the upper stratosphere wondering how many orgasms I had today. How many had I ever had during sex? Ah yes, one, and by my recollection, it was quite accidental on his part. 

Jaime was panting and his body shook with overwhelming pleasure. He fell to his side and pulled me close not wanting to break our connection. He was exuberant and assaulted my face with dozens of kisses. “A hundred kisses for my Sassenach,” he said in between the smack of his lips. “and one thousand more,” I answered laughing. 

We kissed and talked quietly for a while. The singing had stopped outside and the afternoon grew late. “Before I go Jaime I need to take something back to prove I was here.”

“Do ye forget me when you wake Sassenach?” hurt coming to his eyes. “Certainly not” I mused. My best friend in my world does not believe I actually come here. He wants proof,” I explained. Jaime reached over me sliding a drawer open in his bedside table. He pulled out a coin and pressed it into my hand. “I would give you my heart love but ye took it already, three days ago.” 

I heard someone calling my name and looked up wondering …

Jaime’s arms fell to his chest when she disappeared. “Goodbye for today sweet Claire” he whispered.


	11. The Coin

My eyes snapped open at the soft voice calling my name. Careena was smiling down at me. I instantly felt my dress, relieved I was not still naked. “What time is it?” I asked. Careena looked at her watch “eight o’clock. How are your knees?" she asked with a grimace. I would have let you sleep but worried you might have obligations today.”

I pushed myself up and looked around getting my barrings. I remembered Jaime’s coin and opened my palms feeling crushed when they were empty! My eyes stung with tears and I took a deep breath. Joe was right I thought. At that moment I just wanted to be alone, to cry for a man who was never real and never would be. 

Careena came back to the couch with a coffee mug in her hand and set it down in front of me. “You are so sweet to care for me Careena but I want to clean up in my room and get packed to go home.” I pushed the blanket off my legs and cringed at my knees. They were a sight but fairly steady when I stood. 

“Dan is going to carry you to your room,” she said and rose to find him. “No please I can make it easily”. That is when I realized they would both walk out of separate bedrooms. This was a two bedroom suite. I pointed a finger at one bedroom then the other and looked at her. She laughed when she figured out my pointing question. “He is my dearest friend,” she said softly looking toward Dan’s bedroom door. “My fiance, on the other hand, will be here any minute if you care to meet him.” I noticed her eyes remained on Dan’s door for an extra second and I wondered. 

I hugged her tight thanking her for the extravagant care and asked her to thank Dan as well. Hobbling to my own room I fell apart with racking sobs. Opening my palms and shaking my head. Once in my room, I gave in to the heartbreak and cried like the five-year-old who just lost her parents in a car crash. My grief felt just as real as it had then.

Having been a non-crier all my life I could not figure out how to stop the continuous tears or maybe I just didn’t want to. I thought about Jaime and hot tears would roll down my cheeks. I tried to pack and shower and put my game face on but the tears would come again and stain my cheeks with black mascara. I quit trying and resigned myself to a floppy hat and big sunglasses. With luggage packed I sat on the floor and pulled a long sheet of toilet paper to hold under my nose. I thought about calling Joe but I wasn’t ready to proclaim Jaime fictional or dead. To me, it was the same.

I lifted the receiver to my ear and requested assistance with my luggage and taxi to the airport. I thought briefly of Geillis “add her to the list of things I lost in Paris” I said out loud.

The porter leaned against the door frame one hand holding the flatbed with my suitcases. His voice was soft with concern. “Mademoiselle?” I looked up from my position on the floor, face soaked with tears and held my hand up for help. The porter walked slowly staying close with my slow-moving gate. He made excuses why he could not go ahead of me and my heart broke with his kindness. 

Once in the elevator my tears flowed anew as the porter struggled to angle the cart with my cases. I crumpled into the corner of the elevator wiping my tears. I heard the doors closing and then someone shouting my name. I looked up as the porter slid his hand between the doors causing them to open. I rolled my eyes and prepared for strangers to push into the elevator with us. 

“Claire!” Dan was leaning on the elevator breathing deeply. “God damn, I thought you were gone!” He walked toward me and kissed me hard on the lips. In my shock, I felt him pull my hand up, pry open my fingers and drop something into my palm. “Take care sweetheart” and he was gone. 

We reached the lobby and I walked forward trance-like. Looking out the massive windows I watched the young porter line my cases up for the taxi driver. My tears fell and my shoulders shook with my pain. 

The taxi driver whistled and raised his hand to me. It was time to go. I felt my feet moving forward but my mind was screaming for me to stop. I was so lost. Leaving Paris felt like a betrayal of the best man I had ever known be he real or not. I turned around and walked back toward the hotel entrance. I felt an arm come around me and heard the porters beautiful French in my ear. I looked up at him and shook my head no pulling away from him.

The porter inclined his head toward my closed hand “Perhaps an answer for your sorrow?” in the best English he could muster. I looked down and unrolled my fist. The sun caught the edge of a Scottish coin.


	12. The Cottage

After Claire disappeared Jamie dressed and dashed out of his room. He felt unbridled joy at the chores yet undone, pure happiness was but one hour of daylight and eight hours of work to get done. He could not think of a single thing wrong in the world on this late afternoon because he had been touched by an angel. 

He breezed past Jenny as he strode to the barn. Jenny had never seen his face so bright or his eyes so happy. She prayed for strength. She followed Jaime into the barn and stood near him as he pried the shoe off of a horse. 

“She is no real brother” Jenny stared at the ground and her voice was so small. Jaime’s head came up looking puzzled, “what is it Jenny?”. 

“The lass isna real. It’s a fetch yer seein Jaime. I have seen her image for many years around you. She means ye harm brother.” Tears were streaking down Jenny’s face and her eyes were still rooted to the barn floor.

Jaime stood up lowering the horse's leg. His face was a mask but his hands shook from his ramming heart. His voice barely a whisper, he spoke slowly considering each word.

“Aside from this farm, there is little I know of this world and nothing I am sure of, except Claire. There is no other but her. I am the only one for her too. She doesna ken it yet. Fret not Jenny. She may take me to an unknown place or I may keep her here. This will come to pass. I know it. Worry, anger, tears or treachery will no stop this. So I ask ye to be a friend and helpful to her if ye can.” Jenny turned in a swirl of skirts and walked out of the barn. 

Jaime stumbled into the kitchen at ten o’clock having finished the chores that were ignored when Claire was there. The house was dark, cold, and quiet. He laid on his bed exhausted and fell into dreamless sleep smelling Claire on his pillow. 

It was still dark outside when Jaime finished his porridge in the morning. He bundled up to start his day. The animals were fed and watered as the sun was coming up and he hurried in his excitement to see Claire today. Entering the wood he walked toward where he had seen her the first time. He wondered if she materialized in the same spot each time. As he approached he saw her. Laying on her side still sleeping. He removed his coat and laid it over her.

I could feel the hard ground as I woke in Jaime’s wood for the fourth day running. I felt the warmth of the coat covering me and smiled. “You are a sweetheart Jaime” I cooed. “I am here,” he said and I could hear the smile in his voice. “Here, put your coat back on. I dressed for warmth hoping you would show me around your land?” I looked at his smile and sparkling blue eyes wishing I never had to look away.

“Come Sassenach” Once on my feet he wrapped around me for a greeting kiss. He stepped back a bit but left his hands in my cashmere sweater. “So soft” he whispered. “I’ve never felt anythin so soft in my life.” He ran a finger down the angora lines in the sleeves and was transfixed. “I actually brought it for Jenny,” I told him. “I have another shirt underneath that I can wear back.” 

“Weel Sassenach I will have to inspect what ye wear in these woods,” his hands pulled the mid-thigh sweater up so he could feel the undershirt and then run his hands down my arse and legs to my boots. Slipping to my inner thigh he pressed his hand up until it hit my core and I jumped as if zapped with electricity. “Jesus H Roosevelt Christ,” I said into his mouth before he kissed me deeply. 

Jaime saddled two horses and we rode into the woods. The views were stunning, the air crisp, and I followed happily. At one point Jaime’s horse turned around so he could come alongside me and kiss me deeply. My head was spinning and I grabbed the saddle to get my bearings. “Let's go a bit faster aye”? With that he spurred Donas into a lope and Brimstone happily followed. I could see a cottage up ahead made of round stones. Right out of a Thomas Kincade painting I thought. 

The cottage was clean and cozy with a roaring fire burning in no time. Jamie carried in the sack of supplies tied to his saddle pulling out bread, cheese, jam, meat, and whiskey. 

We shared some food and talked a bit. Jaime swooped me into his arms quite unexpectedly and laid me on the bed pulling himself up next to me. “I’m sorry lass to be so bold. Yer words were vera interestin but yer eyes said somethin different ye ken?” My hand cupped his cheek and I watched his mouth but heard little outside my ramming heart. “Tell me what ye want lass and I’ll lay it at ye feet.” 

“Kiss”

Soft and unhurried we kissed and giggled. The cottage was very warm so I removed the sweater wanting to keep it pristine for my gift to Jenny. Jaime’s eyes followed my movements until he pulled me under him again. 

I looked up at him and asked how he could escape from his chores today. "I can tell ya mo gràdhag but your eyes are askin somethin of me.” He released one button of my shirt. “They are the prettiest eyes I have e’re seen,” another button. I canna help but to answer them first ye ken?” Another button. I was having trouble catching my breath. A soft kiss and Jaime got up. “Wait..where?” 

Jaime added two logs to the fire and returned with the whiskey glasses. I sipped and another button released. “This story will take some time Sassenach and I must have your full attention” he breathed releasing another button. 

“Christ Jaime! How many bloody buttons are on this shirt?” He smiled and looked down. “Just three more buttons.” He moved to the end of the bed and pulled my boots off and then my socks. He rubbed my feet and I was slipping into an unknown realm of pure sensation. He massaged my lower leg moving up to the teasing zone and I squirmed. Then the other leg with a deliberately slow ascent to make me squirm again. I felt another button release and Jaime back at my side. 

“I want to ask you something,” I said pulling air into my lungs with every word. “Anything love” he promised. “I want to look at you.” I watched his hand grasp his shirt and pull it over his head. He spun his feet to the floor pulling off his own boots. When he released his belt the kilt just fell away. He reached for my glass and walked slowly to the table to refill it. My breath caught at the sight of him. Chiseled muscles, broad back, thick thighs, flat stomach and the arse of Adonis. “Sweet Jesus” I breathed when I saw his erection. 

Jaime handed me the whiskey. Sliding his hands into the band of my leggings he pulled them down slowly. “There is still one button left Sassenach. If I release it I will see all of you as well. So…” with a strangled voice I said “yes..button…Yes.” 

The little knowledge I had of Jaime’s lust promised a quick end to my torture and I sat up quickly to allow the removal of my shirt. “mo bòidheach gaol,” he lowered me to the bed and stretched beside me. One finger slowly dragged upwards between where my legs were tightly closed. I opened them and his finger became two slowly dragging upwards. He was planning to drive me to insanity, I thought disjointedly. 

I felt him shift lower on the bed. “Open your eyes lass and pay me your sweet attention,” he asked. I was quite sure I might come before he even touched my heat. I watched him with effort. “I would like to kiss you Sassenach.” My head was shaking yes. “Please.” Rather than slide up to my awaiting mouth he moved sideways over my legs and with his stubbled chin he opened me and his tongue slid over my clit. My body jerked toward him as I gasped. “Jesus Christ! that is the most exquisite sensation.” My voice was a pant. “Again… please, Jaime.” 

He asked me a question and as I answered his tongue would slide over me again. I grabbed myself so lost in the building lust I had no control. Jaime’s voice was soft and controlled “mo gaol is impatient for me to love her. Look at me lass you cannot go with the angels yet. He pushed my legs open and moved between them replacing my finger with his tongue. “Jesus H Christ!” I cried. My legs moved farther open of their own accord. Jaime slipped two fingers inside me and continued with his tongue pulling me swiftly to the edge and over. I was trying to say "Jaime" but it came out as a long groan. In one breath I learned that patience is rewarded as my body jerked with spasm for several minutes. 

His soft mouth pressed mine three times before I could respond. My arms came around his neck and I hugged him as if my life depended on this. He let me hold him close and whispered to me in Gaelic. I realized hot tears were running from the corners of my eyes and wondered blankly where they had come from. “Will ye have me?" he whispered. I wiggled underneath him and pressed his buttocks toward me. He slid completely into me with a gasp. Several times he thrust into my core and I cried out for more. “Christ Jaime don’t stop,” I pleaded. He dropped his head to my shoulder and thrust into me again and again. With a loud groan he shuddered and collapsed to my side holding me close to him. 

I felt his body spasm and locked my leg around his hip holding him inside me. I ran my fingers through his hair while his breathing came to normalcy. There were so many things I wanted to tell him, so many pledges to make, so many truths to be told. My eyes were full of need to express all these things but I could not find the words. Jaime reached for the quilt to cover us: “rest in my arms love.” He ran his finger along my jaw, his eyes locked on mine. He pulled me into an embrace pressing my head under his chin and spoke softly to me. “I have looked for ye for so long mo ciad-bhean. I kent what would happen to my heart and my head because my mam told me. It is overwhelming to feel so much, is it not?” He stroked my back as he spoke and I felt my eyes closing. “Yer heart speaks to me through yer beautiful eyes love. Fear not. I am the protector of your innocence and trust. This I vow.”

I awoke with Jaime inside me and I wanted him again. My fingers touched along his body like fairy wings. Down his arm still locked around me, so light on his arse and around to flutter down where we joined and up his belly to a nipple that I pinched lightly. I moved my head to lick it and then sucked it with a deep gasp coming from him. I felt his erection come to life inside me as I continued to flick my tongue and suck his nipple. “Mo ciad-bhean” he whispered as he lifted me shifting his weight under me. I was straddling him feeling his erection grow inside me without any idea what to do next. 

Jaime placed a hand on both hips and moved me forward and backward. He lifted his knees and pressed me back against them gently pushing my legs apart while he ran his hands down my breasts. “Relax love I need to touch ye deeper.” As I relaxed my inner muscles I felt him slide deeper into me. He pressed me down upon him and I gasped. “Yes Jaime.” He pulled my hips forward and my body caught the rhythm. I was shocked by the ease I could move myself to further the burn that I chased. Suddenly Jaime pushed me back against his legs again pulling down on my hips and he gasped when he pushed against my cervix. My moan was unearthly and I dropped my head back against his knees. His warm thumb circled me as he pushed up into my depths. The lovely explosion hit me and I shook with release. I heard nothing but roaring in my ears and felt him rocking my hips forward again. Leaning forward I rode him with certainty now feeling the thrill of being in charge. I watched his face. "Let the beast go Jaime." His eyes flew up to mine before claiming my hips and driving himself into me over and over. His back arched and he slammed me down with a savage cry. He held me there for several minutes. I watched his chest heave and wondered what stratosphere he visited when the angels took him. 

At last, he pulled me into his arms and pressed my head against his neck. “Claire …..” We dozed and kissed and dozed until Jaime pulled the little table toward the bed. Handing me cheese and bread and refilling my whiskey we settled back and spoke of childhood memories. I told him about traveling the world with my uncle Lamb the archeologist and being scouted at sixteen. He held me tighter with concern for my young age and no parents. “My heart breaks for ye mo nighean donn. I would have rescued ye sweet lass.” I looked up at him with all the emotion I felt. 

“What would you have done with me then?” I asked smiling. “Ah! I would have pulled ye into the family at Lallybroch where ye could grow up the rest of the way. Me, Ian, and Jenny would show ye how to fish with yer hands and string traps for food and pelt. Ye could wander through the heathers when your mind was full. Care for yer horse, tend the garden, dance at socials, and tell stories around a fire on summer nights. Maybe Jenny wouldn’a grown up so mean if she had a sister to help with runnin a home.” He laughed. 

I snuggled into him and felt tears sting my eyes then roll down my cheeks. I wondered, not for the first time, where they were coming from. “Jesus H Roosevelt Christ” I muttered wiping them away. 

“Dinna cry lass” Jaime turned toward me and held me tighter. He stroked my back as I cried. “Tis tears of loss, I ken. I will fill ye heart with all such things that become sweet memories if ye let me Claire.” My arms just held him tighter until my tears were finally spent. I felt overwhelming gratitude for his compassion and kissed his chest until he murmured a warning of where such kisses would lead him. I laughed as he did. “It’s getting late, maybe we should head back so you’re not getting both horses back by yourself.” As I pushed up he grabbed my arms holding me still. “If ye could.. ah, never mind, that question needs to simmer a bit.” Laughing he rolled me over him until my feet were firmly on the floor. 

Jaime was silent and still holding my arms. I felt a hand run down my back and over my arse. My heart skipped a beat and resumed a higher rate with his silence and caressing. Jaime swung his legs and came up behind me pushing his erection into my back. I gasped as his hand came around to pinch my nipple, then down to touch me between my legs. His mouth at my ear I could feel his breath speaking strange words as he encouraged my heat. “Jaime I want you, please”. 

Still standing he slipped into me pushing my ankles apart. “More, I need all of you.” He groaned deep in his chest and pushed me down across the table thrusting deeply. “Yes, please Jaime.” He held me down and drove into me over and over until I was screaming his name. “Christ lass” as he thrust deep and shuddered. He pulled me into the bed and wrapped himself around me holding me so tight. “I’m sorry lass, I dinna have any control, I’m sorry.” His head was buried in my neck and I pulled his mouth to mine kissing him and running my nails against his scalp. “Ssh, the beast is demanding, hot and erotic, and I loved it.” Jaime looked at me with wonder and pulled me into his kiss. 

There was a chill in the air as we rode back to the house. After the horses were put up I noticed Jaime looking at me every few minutes. “What is it?” He blushed and dropped his head. “I dinna know when yer gonna disappear lass.” He pulled me into a hug, “let me say thank ye for sharin yer day with me. I’ll be missin ye until ye return.” I thought my heart would burst with his proclamation and I hugged him back. 

We found Jenny in the kitchen preparing the evening meal. I handed her the sweater and she ran her hands over the soft cashmere before pressing it to her body. “I ’ve yet to touch such softness, ever. But what's to be done wi’ it?” Her eyes wide with the question. “Well, its a sweater, you can wear it to sleep on cold nights or with your stockings when you read in your room.” I saw the blush come to her cheeks. “I thank ye Claire tis a thoughtful gift.” With that she ran upstairs to put it away. 

I smiled hearing Jaime call me from the parlor. I moved toward him and was stopped abruptly by my unyielding mattress. I pushed up looking down at my pillow and felt an irritable emptiness. I pulled a tiny silver box out of my pocket with the usual relief of bringing trinkets back. It belonged to Jaime’s mother. I turned the little box this way and that admiring the craftsmanship and beauty. It was time to show Joe my collection.


	13. Souvenirs or Artifacts

It was easy cooking for Joe, and lately Baritone. I knew all his favorite foods and he was always so grateful. I was nervous about the evening because it would end with Joe knowing I had kept something huge from him. I hoped our friendship would survive. The bell rang and I ran for the door. 

Dinner was lovely and the boys kept me in stitches all night. It was wonderful to sit with them and just tell stories. I was getting anxious and could not stop fiddling with my hands. I got up to clear the table. 

“Why are you so fidgety tonight pet? Joe came from behind me at the sink. “Go look at what is on my bed Joe. After you see it I want to discuss it with you.” He walked toward my room and turned on a light. “What the fuck!”

Baritone bolted toward the bedroom and I walked slowly not wanting to look Joe in the eye. “I’m sorry I kept this from you Joe” I pleaded “I had to wait until there were enough artifacts so you would believe me.” I entered the room and saw Joe staring down at all I had collected. “How many thrift stores and garage sales did you have to visit to get this crap Alice?” He was laughing when he came toward me. “From your 18th century Scot right?” He was still laughing. 

I was confused by his reaction. “You said to bring something back and I did, lots of stuff.” Joe stopped laughing and turned around to look at me. Seconds passed and I stared at him trying to read his face. “Sit with me pet.” Joe pulled me to the couch and we sat. “Are you telling me you continue to have dreams about a farm in 18th century Scotland and bring things back with you each time?” He smoothed my hair behind my ear and shook his head. “I will help you Claire, we will find the best doctors in New York and not stop until you are well.” There were tears in his eyes and he held my hands in his. “No matter what I will see you through this. You will not be alone.”

I shot up from the couch hands on my hips appalled by what Joe was thinking. “I am not sick! Yes, it is hard to believe but that is what the artifacts are for right? Well there they are now you have to believe me!” Joe pulled me down to the couch again and looked like he was going bargain for his life. “Claire, I want to make a deal. I will have the trinkets appraised for historical relevance. There has got to be someone in New York who can examine them. When we find out they were made in China or date back to the mid-1900, or whatever, you will agree to a physical and a cat scan. Do we have a deal?”

My anger subsided when I realized Joe really thought I was sick and delusional. His deal was made with love because he wanted to help me at all costs. I smiled at him and agreed. When we said goodbye Joe took the trinkets with him and I cleaned up. I thought about Jamie for the hundredth time today. He would be waking up soon. Would he come to find me again I wondered? I considered what Joe said about a cat scan. He thinks I have a brain tumor which is ridiculous because I’m young and healthy and don’t even have headaches.

I got dressed in my warmest leggings, sweater, boots, and coat and crawled into bed. The insanity of that did not even occur to me. 

“Sassenach! Jamie pulled me off the ground and wrapped me in a hug, “I am so happy to see ya!”He kissed me breathless and grabbing my hand pulled me along running toward the hill to his home. 

“Jaime!” I shouted laughing and stumbling. I finally felt the wind against my face and it was cold. “Where are we going!?” Jamie stopped and hugged me again pointing up to the sky where black clouds were building. “I’m gettin ye home before the storm comes lass.” Running and giggling Jaime carefully pulled me along until we slid down the hill laughing hysterically. I never thought of getting down that way before. The snow was falling and building up quickly on the ground while the wind sliced through me. At last we bolted through the kitchen door eager to be warm. Jaime led me into the parlor and we sat close to fire to warm up. 

There was hot cocoa from the kitchen and he handed me a cup. “As soon as yer warm Sassenach we have to go back out and get the morning chores done, aye? It willna take too long and the animals will be plenty thankful about it. Besides its time ye ken what farmin is all about.” 

“Well.. OK. I’m ready to feed the animals and ah learn to farm.” We stood and Jaime inspected my clothing although he skipped the sexy part from yesterday. He grabbed two scarves and Jenny’s gloves then he pulled my coat closed and stared at the zipper. “What is this then?” he asked. I zipped it up and his eyes were wide as saucers. We headed out to find the snow was eight or so inches high and falling harder. Once in the barn it was a little warmer. He handed me a bucket full of grain and asked me to give each animal a scoop. I was happy to be farming so I went on my merry way. 

I watched Jaime shovel hay into each stall. With a larger shovel he hauled different looking hay to each and let it build up on the ground. “That is a lot of hay to eat isn’t it?” Jaime was panting from the effort but stopped to explain the straw was for bedding that would keep them warm as the temperature dropped. Next, he hauled water to each. 

Jaime wound my scarf around my face grabbed my hand and pulled me to the house. In that short time the snow had built up over a foot and the wind picked up throwing sheets of snow in our faces. We tumbled into the kitchen again and jumped a few times to dislodge the snow on our coats. 

Jaime put more logs on the huge fire and extinguished the lamps that were burning. The room glowed as the wind howled outside. “Come Sassenach,” he beckoned me to where he laid back on the couch and pulled me into him. “Tell me how friend Joe is doing, have ye shown him yer treasures?” I laid back against his chest and he wrapped his arms around me. “Where is everyone?” I asked. “Gone seein to a birth at one of the tenants. Ian went with Jenny because of the weather. They won’t be comin back today with this wicked storm.” 

I snuggled into his chest while he pulled pins out of my hair running his hands through it. We filled hours talking and expanding on subjects already discussed. Jaime was a good storyteller and I listened intently. Ellen and Brian became real people in my mind as did Willy. I told him about the dinner party with Joe. Jaime looked at me with raised eyebrows “what is a tumor?” I explained brain cancer and the delusions that make people believe something is real when it's not. “He thinks I’m a tumor,” he said flatly. I wrapped my arms around his middle and kissed his chest. “This would be far more fun if that shirt was off” I cooed. In less than a minute I laid my head on his bare chest. 

“What about the kissin Sassenach?” he asked. I smiled up at him and resumed kissing his beautiful chest licking his nipple and slowly moving down his body kissing anything in front of my lips. “I’m gettin jealous of my stomach nighean milis, come here.” Before he could pull me up I lifted his kilt and licked his erection base to tip. “Christ almighty woman what are ye doin?!” I had burrowed deep into the blanket over us and under his kilt so before he could find me I pulled him into my mouth. “Ah… dhiaaa!” Jaime was pulling the layers off and froze suddenly watching me. I felt him grip my hair and pull my head away from him. “Do ye know what comes with this torment woman?” he seethed. I was so turned on and looked at him through slit eyes “let me Jaime, please.” He released me to my mission. Another minute and he lifted me up to lay on him. I pressed my hips to him looking for pressure. 

“Unburden yourself of those clothes mo gaol. Do it slowly.” It was not a request. His eyes were smoldering. I was thrilled that I wore a sexy black thong panty and lace push-up bra. I stood and turned my back to him before lifting my boot for him to remove. Turning towards him I peeled off my leggings and ran my hands over my body still clad in my sweater. “Sassenach?” he growled. “I mean to see ye naked and at my mercy for what ye started with yer sweet mouth. Get on wi’it.” I was so aroused I could hardly breathe. He stared as I lifted my sweater to my waist and then dropped it. “I want you Jaime, in my mouth, willing and still. Do you agree?” I pulled my sweater over my head. “Sweet Jesus” he seethed. “Come lass, as ye are for now. I am willing and still.” 

I turned my back to him and bent from the waist to retrieve my sweater. When Jaime’s breath caught I lingered to tease him with my bare arse. “To yer mission then, before I take ye like a rutting bull Sassenach.” I pulled his arms up and under his head before sinking to my knees beside the couch. I locked eyes with him pulling the blanket and kilt away from his incredible body. I licked up and down several times before pulling him into my mouth. Feeling his cock rub against my tongue was like a fireball to kindling. 

Jaime’s eyes were locked on my mouth, his breathing erratic and gasping. “You may have one arm” I whispered. An arm came down like a shot gripping my arse roughly, slipping fingers into my heat. “Spread your knees apart Sassenach” I complied. “Christ love, yer so wet. Yer honey drips from ye.” In truth, I was ready to combust from his fingers so I moved out of his reach. I pushed my mouth down on him until he pressed against the back of my throat. A long growl came from his chest and he gripped my hair twisting it for control. His chest was heaving and I knew he was close. He held me still by my hair and pushed himself into my mouth over and over moaning loudly he held me down on him while I swallowed all he gave me. I held his balls and kept him in my mouth until his shuddering stopped.

I could not catch my breath and I reached for my throbbing heat. “Sassenach lay back on the floor. The angels are comin for ye and I want to watch. He gripped my panties and pulled them off. Open ye knees wide and touch ye self. Oh my God, you are a vision.” It barely registered that his voice was next to me on the floor. My orgasm was coming fast.. Jaime grabbed my wrist and pulled both arms under my back. I was gasping for breath and pleading to finish. A cool stream of air blew across my heat. “Jesus you are so swollen and wet love. I felt two fingers push into me. My knees pushed farther apart until my hips hurt. Jaime’s large warm hand caressed my stomach, inner thighs, and breasts. 

Jaime pushed the lace of my bra down exposing both nipples. My breathing was almost normal and I searched his eyes for why he denied my release. My shaking need subsided. “Why?” He kissed me deeply and twisted my nipple savagely making me scream. “Because I will take you so high and hand you to the angels while you scream my name.” His warm tongue slid into me. “Ah! God.. yes!” He dragged his tongue up to my throbbing and then pushed it into me again. I saw stars and my body shook violently. He pushed two fingers into me circling and flicking with his tongue until I was thrown into the explosion screaming Jaime’s name. It rocked me to the core.

He lifted me to the couch and held me to his chest while he covered us with the blanket. I felt drunk from the intensity of our lovemaking not sure if I was dreaming or awake. My words sounded slurred and all the people around me noticed.”You made the fancy men fall down on my lipstick …” giggles. “Minnesota wants Dan, black knees hurt… damn fine number one…… scared..cold… ( giggles) “Scared… cold……animals pens……….who said?” Jaime listened to Claire sleep talk disjointed words trying not to laugh and wake her. Seconds passed in silence and he closed his eyes. “heart hurts in my bed… stay here….”. Jaime felt the sting of tears and held her tighter. “I will find a way my love” he whispered. Locked around each other they slept peacefully. When Claire spoke in her sleep again, Jaime was too deep to hear her.

“you promised me at the stones… promised to find me. Jaime, my love.” 

Jaime felt his little Sassenach moving in her cuddle position. She yawned deeply and settled back against Jaime. His hands rubbed her back pulling her up to consciousness. She felt his hands grip her hips changing her position. She started to doze until she felt him enter her body slowly. He rocked her pelvis upward for another slow stroke. Claire took long deep breaths in pace with Jaime. His face only inches from hers he rocked her forward for a slow stroke that filled her. She felt the heat building. The strokes were slow but he bumped her clit every time and she moaned into his mouth with a kiss. Jaime’s eyes were a beautiful confession, what his heart ached to say. He pulled her closer and the exquisitely slow joining continued. “Claire I…” She held his face, “what is it?” Jaime broke eye contact…”I need ya lass but don’t want to hurt ye”. He rolled on top of her lifting from behind her knees he opened her legs wide and slipped into her finding a depth that threatened his sanity. He pressed further into her feeling her body shake uncontrollably. 

When Jaime pressed himself deep into me I felt the initial pain and pushed against his chest, lightly so he would withdraw back to our comfort zone. He looked deep into my eyes and pressed forward slowly. My sexual nerve endings were strung like a bow. I felt him press deeper into me and felt a prolonged orgasm pulse through me. I sucked in air, closed my eyes and rode the wave. When he pressed deeper again the jolt and wave caused spasms that clamped down on his cock making him gasp. He pressed again, a third orgasm. The look in his eyes and deep invasion of my body was a possession and a promise. He pressed me into a fourth orgasm and climaxed.

No words were spoken before or after, but his body said 'I claim you for the rest of our days. You belong to me now.' My body responded 'I belong to you.'  
We shared food at the kitchen table while Jaime stood behind me running a comb through my hair. I closed my eyes and tilted my head back while Jaime told me about the confrontation with Jenny and explained the term ‘fetch’. I was stunned. “She said the same to me after bringing me to your room. She…” I took a deep breath, “she said I was not real.” I could hardly look at him and I felt my heart racing. 

Jaime pulled me to the parlor couch and reached for a new quill on the mantel. “I’m sorry Sassenach but I must hurt ye,” and he jabbed the quill into my finger. “Jesus Christ, why did you do that?!” I pulled my hand away from him and held my bleeding finger. His face was deadly serious when he spoke next. "Many a fearful man has taken a sword to a fetch but it goes right through. A fetch doesna bleed Sassenach." 

I stared at my bleeding finger and knew the significance. “I understand.” Jaime grabbed my finger and kissed it several times pressing his thumb to stop the bleeding. “Forgive me Sassenach for hurtin ye. I’m so vera sorry.” He kissed my face so many times I giggled. “When ye wake up in yer bed the scar will still be there. I know it. 

When I woke up in my bed I had a bone needle to add to the souvenirs. I also had a new scar on my right forefinger.


	14. Psychotic Break

I pulled myself out of bed with the same emptiness I’ve had on every other day returning from Jaime’s wood. My mind drifted back to our beautiful day, the raging storm, his body, and his love. I know from looking in his eyes that he loves me in the storybook way, right down to my marrow. I know that he would die for me, suffer a life of loneliness without me, and walk into the devil’s lair to rescue me. I sat on my bed and fought to get up and keep my appointments, starting with my agency. 

I moved through my shower, coffee, emails, and dressing like a mindless robot. I tried to think of the last time I felt connected to anything in my world. Not since Paris. I remembered sending Joe text messages about his show. I was fully invested in the outcome. We worked so hard to get him ready and he put his faith and future in my hands. After meeting Jaime, Joe became more and more of a distant memory. “Oh my God, what have I done!” My knee’s buckled and I sobbed against my bed. Did I abandon Joe and the plan. I couldn’t remember when I last saw him. Oh no, no, no! 

I felt a bit hysterical racing for my phone. Joe picked up on the first ring….thank God. “Good morning pet! Thank you for dinner last night. The boyfriend is now your second biggest fan. Claire, I may have found someone qualified to…. Claire?”

I heard the roaring in my ears and the phone dropped to the floor from my shaking hand. Last night?! How is this possible I wondered? I was with Jaime last night-right? I struggled to remember the night I cooked for Joe but it was too long ago. I felt tears flood my eyes and sank to the floor. My weeping was not to be contained. I curled up on the floor and cried for my lost best friend, my fucked up memory, and...

The ringing in my ears was driving me insane. I pressed my arms against my ears but it was still ringing in my brain. I was sobbing, scared shitless, and wedged under my bed. I watched for Jaime’s hand to pull me to safety and I screamed his name.

There was a big noise. It cut through that horrible bell, my screaming… everything. The noise was so big that everything stopped and now I heard nothing. Like a deaf person, there was no sound. Someone was pulling on my feet. I frantically broke away and scrambled under the bed. Who was trying to get me?! There were sirens outside because someone in the building is sick. I felt compassion and hoped they would be okay. 

The sun suddenly stung my eyes and my bed was being moved by many boots. Arms came to pull on my feet again. Joe. I saw his eyes so close to mine. He kept asking me something I couldn’t hear. He was crying now. Tears unabashedly falling. What the fuck is Joe so upset about? I need to feel alarm, and concern, but I feel nothing but fear. I hold up my finger to show Joe the quill scar and a tiny hope is born in my stomach. He cannot refuse to see the scar and he will finally believe me. Right?

I was moving swiftly on a board with wheels I think. Joe was holding my hand and running along side. Someone poked me hard on my hand. It burned so bad. Now we were inside the siren and I held my ears and cried. I looked at Joe, I was scared to death. Joe reached for me and I lifted my arms. Bad men in the siren yelled at Joe to let me go. He pulled me into his arms like I was a child. He pulled me into his stomach and bent over me. He held me so tight and I heard him crying. I heard someone say ‘knock her out’. I braced for a punch. Strangely it didn’t hurt. Joe clung to me as the blackness came up to swallow me and that fucking siren was finally silenced. 

Joe looked down at Claire’s face. She was unconscious from medication in her IV. Her face was angelic, her body so small. He kept her protected, tucked into his body. He noticed the vehicle was no longer moving and it was empty except for him and Claire. The double back doors opened and Joe looked into the eyes of his mentor. 

“Joseph! I am so happy to see you! I heard about your MCATS- absolutely stunning!” Dr. Lamont Green spoke in his usual tempo and locked eyes with Joe as he assessed vitals and general condition of the patient. The paramedics had sounded the alarm that Dr Green, Chief Medical Officer’s, protegee, Joe Abernathy, had taken physical custody of a critical patient, impeding transit assessment and treatment. This would essentially end his medical career before it started. 

Dr. Green assessed the patient to be stable and deeply sedated. Joe’s grip on her came from the heart, he thought. He sat down, opposite Joe in the van and kept Claire’s wrist and pulse point in his meaty fist resting on his knee. He took a deep breath and locked eyes with Joe. “You did great Joe, she arrived safe and her vitals are strong. It’s what I would expect of you. What is her name?” Joe never broke eye contact with the greatest man. “Claire Beauchamp sir.” Lemont’s eyebrows shot up. “Really?” Joe finally looked down at Claire, “Yes sir. She is delusional after a psychotic break this morning. She is my best friend and only family. I am responsible for her sir.”

“Well then, I understand the measures taken to protect the patient. One moment Joe,” Lamont dialed into his cell phone to dispatch his assistant to the ER, to protect at any cost, the identity of the two people in the van. 

Ophela shoved her feet into the stiletto’s under her desk, grabbed a stack of pink slips, a duty roster, and a clipboard and headed for the elevator. When her heels hit the ER floor she was already filling in the names of those she would fire. The van driver was found at the water fountain, filling in details about the patient and the crazy med student who was, ‘obviously a psychopath’. The young nurse was wide-eyed and listening, her high-pony bobbed as she shook her head. “We had already pushed a line into her thank God, she did the Thorazine drop.” He moved toward the pretty nurse until the two feet between them was mere inches. “Here’s the kicker” he leaned toward her ear for an easy view down her uniform and was rewarded with an overflowing C cup. A jolt to his balls and a starter stiffy. Nice. “he is the golden boy of…”. 

“Hello Chase!” Ophela was handing him a pink slip and made a check mark next to his name. She never stopped walking and was far beyond when he looked up to confront her. He ran after her.

She found the other EMT in the employee lounge. He sat alone drinking coffee. He looked up when Ophela sat down across from him. His assessment of her duty was immediate. Her eyes were soft and compassionate. “Miss Ophela, I would never break my confidentiality agreement. I am well aware of who they are, please don’t fire me.” 

Ophela shook her head and smiled at the man putting a check mark next to ‘Adam Freeman’. "I just want you to know the Chief believes that man in the van will make stunning contributions to medicine someday. Protecting someone he loves will not derail his medical career. No matter what.” She patted his hand and left the lounge. Adam released a long breath he was holding.

Claire, Joe, and Dr. Green were secluded in an examining room. Ophela opened the door and handed the clipboard to her boss to sign. Ophela seemed to break certain laws of physics like F=MA, force equals mass times acceleration. The speed at which she moved her three-hundred-pound body with grace and silence was a wonder to him.

Joe’s eyes were rooted to Lamont’s, expressing respect, admiration, and hope for Claire. He owed Dr. Green for saving his life and giving him a future in medicine. Now he would owe him for saving Claire. A debt he was grateful to take.

Dr. Lamont Green volunteered at an inner-city free clinic on Sunday’s. Joe, a young gang-banger, was constantly bringing people in after assessing their condition, correctly. The clincher was a rare neurological condition he correctly identified. “Tell me how you came to this conclusion Joe.” Lamont was convinced of a previous diagnosis by a medical team with the equipment and brain power to make the diagnosis. “I have a book,” and he was gone.

Over time, Lamont witnessed Joe’s brilliant mind. With one medical book and episodes of Grey’s Anatomy and Chicago Med, mentally cataloged for symptoms and diagnosis, he had yet to be wrong. Lamont would meet with Joe for 30 minutes before his shift to answer pages of questions. Joe was starving for information and accepted the medical books Green would lend him with gratitude. Many times he would be waiting in the parking lot eager to discuss the latest book he read.

They met in a coffee shop one Sunday afternoon. Joe flipped through his notebook looking for a blank space to draw the three layers of the spinal cord Lamont described. “Wait, what are those drawings Joe?” He looked embarrassed, reluctantly turning back the pages where he was sketching knee joint anatomy and mechanical braces. The ankle joint with a bracing apparatus. “What is this piece here?” Lamont pointed to a knee brace. “That is a modification for stabilizing the patella.” Lamont looked at each drawing and asked several questions but held back on feedback. “Can I take these until we meet next week? I want to show them to a colleague.” Soon after Joe had two mentors he met with to feed his hungry mind. 

Holding Claire’s hand in the sterile exam room Joe explained the delusions of going back in time to Scotland where she was falling in love with a ‘Laird’, some sort of property owner. He listed the pieces she had “brought back” with her and their deal of a physical and cat scan if they were fake. “Of course they’re fake, I know that Dr. Green, but I had to meet her halfway or she would not have agreed,” Lamont spoke into his tiny recorder and listed the tests to order for Claire. Then she was admitted to the psych ward. 

Joe sat at Claire’s bedside throughout the afternoon. He held her hand and talked for hours just so she could hear his voice. She was taken away for two hours to complete the scans that were ordered. Joe let memories play through his mind to keep the anxiety at bay. On a gorgeous day last May they walked through central park. Claire stumbled and twisted her ankle looking horrified because she could not walk. People stopped to ask if they needed assistance and when she was recognized the camera phones came out and Claire was helpless to get away. Joe piggy-backed her out of the park and into a taxi. He slept on her couch that night and she unceremoniously kicked him out the next day warning him not to miss his bloody dance class. Joe smiled at the memory and wished they would bring her back soon. He didn’t want her waking up to strangers looming over her. “She’s gonna kill me for letting them admit her to the psych ward,” he said aloud.


	15. Hypothermia

Jaime thrashed in his bed, deep into a nightmare of Claire calling to him. He raced from one end of his property to the other but couldn’t find her. The screams became louder and Jaime was frantic with worry. He kept running but Claire was hidden. Who would hide her from me? Someone is going to hurt her! Christ! Running full speed, calling her name, he tripped landing face first in the snow. He bolted upright in bed. He was shaking and drenched in sweat. “Claire! What’s happened to ye?” He tried to sleep again but this time he saw her being carried away by a man in a long white coat. She was screaming and pleading with Jaime to save her. Screams became blood-curdling and Jaime shot out of bed pulling clothes and boots on as he headed for the door.

The snow was falling again but Jaime was running as fast as he could. He called to Claire in the freezing night. Running into the wood he leaped over fallen trees and rocks. He had to find her. He ran to the spot she usually appears and saw the fresh layer of snow. Before he ran in a new direction he brushed the snow away and gasped. “Claire!” He was running back to the house begging her to open her eyes, begging her not to die. His legs were burning and he kept running. Dropping to his backside he slid down the hill holding her steady. When he hit the kitchen he was almost crippled with pain in his legs. He laid her on the couch and felt her cold neck. A heartbeat! He felt his chest, two beats! “Thank Christ”. 

Jenny came down the stairs in a panic. “What is it brother, what’s happened? She looked to the couch where Jaime pulled Claire into his lap and covered her with his upper body. “Sweet Jesus” she was outside in her shift?” Jenny shouted for Ian who came clumping down the stairs after attaching the stump to his leg. “Build the fire up Ian! The lass is near frozen through!” Jenny dashed upstairs returning with a pile of wool blankets, gloves, and stockings. Jenny pushed her shift up exposing her thighs causing Ian to whip around toward the fire he stoked. She pushed wool stockings up both legs and then another pair, tying them tightly. Two pairs of gloves, a thick shawl wrapped around her neck. Last came the blankets to cover them both. 

Claire was dangerously cold and Jaime shook uncontrollably. Through chattering teeth, he asked Ian to help him get closer to the fire. Laying Claire on the soaking cushions he and Ian pushed the heavy sofa up next to the heat. “Jaime! Get those wet clothes off, they willna help her warm up.” Jenny brought out hot cocoa and ran upstairs for a dry shift. She brought three and lifted the soaking rail off of Claire. Ian spun around so fast he hit his head on the mantel. Blood dripped from the wound but he felt nothing. Terror for Claire eclipsed everything.

Jaime vaulted over the banister into the lower floor. He grabbed Claire so Jenny could turn the cold, wet cushions upside down. Jaime laid down pulling Claire’s body on top of his wrapping his arms and legs around her. She was too cold he thought. She canna survive this. He felt tears of frustration and helplessness. Jenny and Ian wrapped them both in wool blankets securing the edges under Jaime. They looked down at Claire, white and frail as Jaime rubbed her everywhere he could reach. Jenny pressed a rosary into his hand. “Pray brother, as will I.” 

The lamps were extinguished and the Murrays returned to their bedroom. Jaime prayed the rosary, switching to Gaelic prayers, followed by begging God to save her. He spoke to Claire, about his love and his wish for a life together, about his wish to marry her. He was getting frantic because she had not moved nor did she feel any warmer. Sometime late in the night he rubbed his hands over her back feeling the ice cold layers of fabric around her. “By Christ!” “Ya canna get warm with layers of cold around ye!” He loosened the blanket cocoon and lifted them both. He tore his clothes off and hers so they were skin to skin. He pulled Claire’s body on top of his and pulled the blanket up around them. He wondered if she was alive but too afraid to feel his chest. 

Ian came down twice during the night to add logs to the fire. His heart broke for his best friend, who by the looks of her, was holding a corpse. Hours past, Jaime rubbed Claire’s back. “Claire…..Claire!” He pulled her up and shook her “Claire!” Her head lifted until they were eye to eye…”what?” Jaime was speechless! Suddenly he could not remember a single word of English. His smile was splitting his face. He turned them sideways where he could look in her eyes and continue rubbing her skin. Claire’s hands came up to his face and they were so cold. “Master Raymond says hurry up to Paris, his time is near.” Then she passed out and he was unable to wake her. He pulled her body on top of his again. Her skin felt a little warmer. Jaime allowed himself to doze sure that any movement would wake him. 

He dreamed of a large ship on the open ocean. He was floating above it and saw himself on deck with a China man. He floated closer and saw long needles being screwed into his face. He recoiled at the sight and came fully awake. 

He wrapped his arms around Claire but held only the blankets. Where was she! Now he was fully awake and almost jumped off the couch to search for her when he heard the sweet voice of his love. “Jaime, I’m so cold, please hold me” He twisted toward her voice and found she had wedged her body between his own and the sofa back. She was so deep in the sofa it was hard to find her. “Mo nighean donn, come here sweetheart so I can warm ye.” Claire sighed into his neck and pressed herself to him. He held her tight, sure now that she was warmer. “Claire?” She murmured something. “mo ciad-bhean, I must tell ye somethin that is most important to me. I love ye, and I want ye to be my wife”Claire brought a hand up and patted his cheek. “Ok.”Jaime smiled. 

He could still feel cold air coming from her body and feared the wool blankets were keeping in the cold. He carefully pushed the blankets down to her waist, exposing her back to the heat of the fire. Claire murmured “warm” and pushed her face into his neck. Within minutes he felt her skin warm up. He pulled the hair from her face and kissed her forehead.

Ian made his way downstairs to add wood just before dawn. He peered over the banister and his breath caught. Jamie’s strong arms were locked around a sleeping Claire, her naked back was glowing from the fire, her black curls cascading over the cushion. She was a beauty, unlike any lass he had seen before. Ivory skin laying across the impressive expanse of Jamie’s darker chest. “He loved ye back to the living lass.” Ian’s smile was beaming as he entered the bedroom. He removed his stump and cuddled up to his wife. “Jenny love…I need ye help”

Jenny tiptoed down the stairs and added three large logs as quietly as she could. Claire laid on top of Jaime for maximum warmth she guessed. Her hand was on his cheek, her face pressed against his neck. They were bare to the waist and the fire glowed on their skin. Ye both so beautiful it breaks my heart she whispered. 

Jenny closed the door behind her and noticed the fire was stoked up making the room glow orange. She pulled off her night rail and softly pressed her body against Ian. His mouth was warm and sweet on her lips and his hands caressed her everywhere. He brought her to the heights of passion until they clung together breathing heavily. “It took all three of us and a miracle to pull the lass from death’s door,” she whispered. “I’ve never seen anythin so beautiful as the two of them sleeping by the fire. There is a destiny about them, I can feel it.” Ian ran his hand up Jenny’s back, “I love you sweet dove.”They slept in the lover’s embrace until the rooster announced the new day. 

When Jenny came down to prepare breakfast the couch was empty and the fire was banked. She was relieved to avoid the embarrassment of seeing them naked on the sofa. She remembered Murtagh was due back today from selling some stock. She would try to inform him of all that had happened the past week. It was only three days ago she warned Jaime against Claire and now she was an advocate. Jenny’s heart flipped seeing Claire’s hand and face pressed against Jaime’s neck. Such an intimate embrace, even in sleep. “Yer a sister now, and protected ye’ll be. God help anyone who tries to harm ye.” 

Jaime woke and laid his large palms across Claire’s back. She was warm and wiggled under the weight of his hands. He rose naked and carried her to his bed, tucking her in and stoking the fire. He bounded downstairs to bank the fire and push the sofa back. He could not wait to hold Claire, under the covers in his own bed. He slid next to her so softly, suddenly feeling awkward. He ached to hold her close but did not want to wake her. “Jaime, I am cold, where are you?” He wrapped his arm around her pulling her body against his “here love, always here beside ye.”He heard her breathing deeply and knew she was sleeping. His mind wandered and he dozed until he felt her shaking. Jaime pushed up on an elbow with alarm, “mo ciad-bhean, what has ye shakin so?” Through her chattering teeth, “cold.” Jaime looked up at the distance from the fire. ”He jumped up pushing the bed up close to the radiating heat. Once he felt the heat building he pulled the quilt off her. “Are ye warmer now Mo Bhean?” Her arms came around Jaime and she pulled him on top of her. Her shaking lessened and she cooed into his neck. Jaime was horrified to feel his erection become concrete hard. “I- I’m sorry Sassenach I canna control what you do to me. Sleep and I’ll no be a bother to ye.” Claire looked up at Jaime and her hands moved down his back. She pushed her legs open under him. She lifted her head to kiss him and Jaime recoiled. “No Sassenach, yer so weak, and came so close to death, I canna.”

She kissed and sucked his neck, wrapping her arms around his neck she pulled his mouth to hers. Allowing his chaste kiss for a time she turned her head and pushed her soft tongue into his mouth. Jaime was stiff and unresponsive using every ounce of willpower to resist her. “Sleep Sassenach,” he whispered. He felt her knees come up on either side of him and she pressed her pelvis up against him. “Kiss,” she asked softly. Jaime was in the fight of his life. Her beautiful body was open and beckoning. His erection was painfully throbbing. “Please Jaime, show me you want me. You won’t send me away.”Sweet Jesus, he thought, I canna take this torture nor deny her my warmth. “Claire, please, sleep my love.”

Claire raised her pelvis and pushed his buttocks toward her, capturing his lower lip between her teeth. The movement brought the tip of his erection into her heat making Jaime gasp and shake. He was holding himself above her on his elbows trying to limit touching her skin. His head swirled when she reached to kiss him and coax his tongue into her mouth. He wanted her desperately, with every fiber of his being but would not tax her fragile strength. This had to stop now. She lifted her pelvis and pushed down hard sending his cock deep to collide with her cervix. Jaime groaned into her mouth taking possession of the kiss to deepen and demand hers in return. He was lost and helpless to stop her.

He held her down and pulled out slightly before easing himself back in. “Mo gràdhag, please sleep.” Claire locked her legs around his waist pulling him into her. “Show me you want me, please.” Jaime’s groan vibrated to his feet. He eased out and into her feeling her gasp on his face. His arm came around her waist and he pulled her to him. His strokes were soft and she opened her mouth to pant when he kissed her. “Harder Jaime, I need to come” He continued to slide into her until she arched her back grinding her clit against his stomach and shuddered with orgasm. Jaime held her hands above her head and sucked her breast, dragging his tongue up her neck to capture her mouth. He let himself orgasm immediately. 

He held her close and stroked her hair. “Claire, I must tell ya two things before ye sleep. I love ye. And second, yer gonna pay for this ye temptress.” Claire giggled softly into his chest and then blackness.


	16. I  Love You

Joe was dozing in Claire’s room when she was finally wheeled back after four hours. His eyes were big as saucers, “why is she tied to the bed? Why is she still so sedated? Where is Dr. Green? The orderly shrugged “he should be up here any minute. Are you family?” He looked from Claire to Joe and back again. So no, you aren’t family and Dr Green will make you leave when he gets here. With that, the orderly walked away. 

“Jesus Claire” Joe held her hand. “How did everything get so fucked up?” I found an expert in Scotland history at Columbia. I over-nighted the artifacts today. We should know more in a week or two. I am keeping my end of our bargain."

"I don’t know if you can hear me Claire. You’re not alone pet. I love you and I will see you through this." Baritone walked into the room and Joe embraced him sobbing. 

When Dr. Green entered Claire’s room he was smiling and had another doctor in tow. "This is Dr. Dawe and he will be the lead physician on Claire’s team. He will be assessing Claire when we think it is safe to wake her up." Joe was incredulous, “safe to wake her up? “You can’t just keep her asleep.” Lamont put a hand on Joe’s arm, his voice was soft and compassionate. “Claire woke in a full-blown psychotic episode. She pulled the IV out of her arm and tried to crawl out of the CT scanner. Dr. Dawe and I agreed she is too unstable to wake up. Once we have her scans and blood work back we can stabilize her with medication and wake her up."

Joe shook his head. “How can any of this be right?” Lamont told Joe Claire would sleep until tomorrow and convinced him to go home. Baritone walked Joe to the elevator talking quietly about how much he liked Dr. Green. They were silent for the ride home. 

Later that night Lamont Green called Joe with unsettling news. Joe listened respectfully while his head shook from side to side. “There has to be something wrong with the scans, right Dr. Green?” There was a pause on the line. “I have ordered an enhanced testing profile for tomorrow but for now Claire has the brain and blood profile of a typical twenty-two-year-old woman.” Joe was truly surprised. His first diagnostic error was his best friend who he knew better than anyone. The day had been harder than any he could remember and he wanted to be done with it. Sleep brought the blessing of an empty mind. 

Claire opened her eyes and smelled Jaime’s distinctive scent. He was not in the bed or the room but he had been. She felt incredibly weak as she swung her feet to the floor. She sat a moment to clear her head. There were garments laid out on the bed and chairs. A note from Jenny told her to choose any of the garments and come down for breakfast. They couldn’t wait to see her. The last line was a nice surprise. Claire chose a lovely tartan skirt with a knit cape. She was quite sure there were other pieces to this ensemble but she could not figure out which ones.

She pulled pieces that looked right tucking most into the skirt. Fabric stuck out here and there but she was covered. Off she went to breakfast. The staircase required two rest stops but she eventually made it to the kitchen. “Good morning she said smiling” Jenny turned around and the color drained from her face. “Holy mother of God”, her arm came around Claire’s waist and she pulled her back up the stairs. "Dinna worry lass, I will get you dressed right and perfect. It’s not something yer used to I ken."

Claire was winded, her face white as snow reaching Jaime’s room and she nearly swooned. Sit lass, and relax for a minute. I will be right back." Jenny shot back down to the kitchen for a tall glass of juice. She was intercepted by Jaime and Murtagh and silenced them with a finger. ‘’When Claire comes down you will both mention how nice she looks. Understood?’’ Both nodded yes and then looked at each other. 

Claire was sitting by the fire shaking badly. Jenny gave her the juice and pulled off the layers of fabric. “Are ye well lass?" Jenny knelt on the floor and looked into Claire’s eyes. “Yes, I think so. Just very cold and dizzy. Was I here all night?” Jenny looked around the room and grabbed one of the newer dresses. We start with your shift and corset lass. Stand up and I’ll show ye.”

Claire gazed in the mirror feeling very happy with her new look. Mostly, she was finally warming up under all these layers. Navigating the stairs was a surprising effort but she eventually found the kitchen again. 

Jaime looked up from his porridge and gave her a heart-stopping smile. Claire saw the love, desire, pride, and excitement in his eyes. She blushed and walked to the table. A man next to Jaime stood up and bowed to her. His smile was bright and sincere. “Ah, ye look fancy in yer dress lass.” Murtagh sat back down but his eyes did not leave her. Jaime pulled Claire into the parlor to kiss her fiercely and hug her to him. 

“Jaime, was I here all night?” His eyes were dancing with happiness when he answered. “Aye lass. Ye nearly scared me half to death. I found you in the wood almost frozen through. It was a long night I hope never to repeat. The important thing is heaven does not get my angel today and I am so grateful. He kissed her again and she fainted in his arms. “Claire!” 

When Claire returned to consciousness she was laying on the sofa with everyone around her. Jenny came from the kitchen with a large tray of food and drink. Murtagh came downstairs with pillows and a blanket. Ian stoked the fire and Jaime held her hands, head bent in prayer. “Jesus H Roosevelt Christ, what just happened?” Jenny herded the men back to the kitchen so Jaime could talk to her.

“Jaime please sit with me”. He moved to her side and she noticed his hands shaking violently. “Please, tell me what’s happened.” He sat holding her hands and through his tears told her the whole story. “I found ye buried in the snow after dark. I dinna ken how ye still here but glad ye are.” Jaime pulled the tray closer and encouraged her to eat. She was ravenous consuming all the food and drink on the tray while listening to more details about the previous night. Claire’s eyes were closing and she started to fall backward. Jaime lifted her and carried her to his bed. 

Jaime held Claire in his bed all morning. He pulled the pins from her hair and Jenny loosened her corset. She opened her eyes and his heart stopped. “I gotta tell ye lass, I am a slave to those pretty eyes for the rest of my life. She smiled, ”kiss.” Jaime’s lips were so soft, so loving, the kiss brought tears to her eyes. 

“I need a map of where Lallybroch is in relation to Inverness. Can you draw one for me?” Jaime set to the task and she watched his every move. “I love you”. Jaime heard the words like a whisper on the wind. His heart was racing and he looked at Claire. “Sassenach, did you say something?” She closed her eyes, “me? No,…ah, my mistake, I said I love you." Jaime stood so fast the drawing board, paper, and pencil were airborne and he was picking Claire up to bury her in kisses. “You love me Sassenach and I love you!” Smacking kisses where ever he found skin. Claire giggled so hard she lost her breath and was panting. When their eyes met he saw the promise she was his forever. 

Jenny tapped on the door quietly and handed Jaime a tray of food and drink. He gave her a quick report on how Claire was feeling. Jenny noticed his huge smile and a new brightness in his eyes. How could she not? “Thank ye Jenny.” He pushed the door closed with his boot and turned to set the tray down. Claire was gone.


	17. The Truth Comes For Joe

I heard Joe’s soft voice mumbling in a one-sided conversation. I giggled in my mind because he seemed to be talking to himself, the bloody idiot. I was drifting in a lovely sense of being loved and felt myself attach, like a jigsaw piece, to a larger canvas. So beautiful it was. Why did my toes hurt so much! My eyes flew open, “Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ! My toes are burning, shit, so are my fingers. Joe!” He loomed above me looking concerned. “Joe, my toes and fingers are on fire!” I felt the blanket lift off my feet.

“Holy Christ! Nurse!” I could hear Joe talking excitedly to a nurse who came running into the room to look at my toes. “Well, this does not make sense. I will be right back with cream to help the burning.” I looked at Joe signaling to my hands tied to the bed. “Do you mind explaining why I am tied to the bloody bed? Joe looked miserable and I took pity enough to help him answer my questions. 

“Joe, where am I?” Before he could answer Dr. Green breezed into the room. He lifted the sheet to examine my toes. His face was unguarded and confused. “Well, at first glance this looks just like frostnip so it freaked out the nurse. We need to do some tests to narrow it down. May I see your fingers please?” 

“What year is it Claire? Who is the president? When did you meet Joe? What is your address?” I suppose I aced the test because the questions stopped. Dr. Green was about to speak when I held my greasy hand up to stop him. “Dr. Green, I have been under immense pressure lately, not sleeping well, in fact, I have not really slept in many days. I know I was confused and hysterical at one point but I am better now. My head is clear and I want to go home.” Green looked at Joe before addressing me. 

“The fact that you did not sleep for several days could explain your psychosis. All your scans and blood work are normal or better so I cannot give good reason to keep you here. As soon as we isolate the caused of your toe and finger injuries I will release you. Dr. Dawe would like to schedule you for a psych exam but I will leave that up to you to decide. Here is his card if you would like to schedule that.” He nodded at Joe and he was out.

“Untie me please.” Joe moved forward and I was released from this bed, and the humiliation of restraint. I grabbed my clothes and was out the door in a minute and a half. I needed to put distance between me and this hospital, my apartment, my job, even Joe. I stopped abruptly and turned in a full circle looking at New York. I wanted distance from New York. 

Joe pulled up near the curb and motioned me to get in. We were quiet on the way to my apartment. I was lost in thought, formulating an idea about spending time in Scotland. I wanted to be there in the hills and forests that Jaime loves. I just wanted to be closer to him.

Joe’s phone rang me out of my daydream. I watched his face become alight with interest to the caller. A couple ‘yes’ responses and he locked up the breaks throwing me forward. “Joe! What the fuck!” Horns were blazing as cars went around us with harsh profanity being yelled out the window. “Joe, please, you have to move the car. What is wrong?” Joe clicked off and looked at me like I was a stranger. Then he whipped the car into a shopping plaza and parked. He turned toward me but could not seem to talk. When his hands moved I saw the shaking hands and shaking body. “Christ Joe, what is wrong?”

“What happened to your toes pet?” I wondered how much ridicule I would get telling him the truth and decided fuck it. “I was buried in the snow, unconscious from something the EMT gave me. I almost died from exposure.” He just stared at me with a slight shake to his head. “Who was on the phone?” Joe shook his head as if trying to wake up from a dream. He dialed Baritone and planned a meeting at my apartment. “Bring a bottle.” I was getting annoyed by Joe’s refusal to talk and my face surely showed it. “The man on the phone was Grant, from Columbia. He examined the artifacts and has them dated mid-1700’s, geographically, the highlands of Scotland based on the jewelry. He wants to send them on to a historian in Scotland but wanted me to know they are worth a small fortune based on condition.” I felt tears stinging my eyes and then roll down my cheeks. “Joe, I am not psychotic or dreaming like a crazy person. I go there every night, I belong to a family, and a man I love.” He pulled out toward my apartment. “Can we wait for Baritone? I need a third head to hear this.” I put my hand on his arm, “of course.”

We sat around my kitchen table and finished two rounds of tequila shots. Baritone looked mildly confused, Joe looked sick, and I was excited to see the sun getting lower in the sky. I wanted Jamie, in fact just thinking about him warmed me on the inside. It was time to start the conversation.

“I need to hear the story from the beginning pet and don’t leave anything out.” It felt so good to speak the details of my night visits to Lallybroch and Jamie. It was tense as the two of them tried to wrap their heads around the impossible. At nine o’clock I stopped talking. “You guys are welcome to stay over if you want. I have a date and I am going to bed.” Joe asked for blankets and headed for the floor in my living room. “Please do not wake me up. I need time with Jamie.” Joe nodded in agreement, Baritone still looked confused.

In my room, I showered off the hospital smell with Chanel Coco body wash and shaved every unwanted hair. I covered my skin with body cream of the same brand and had to admit the smell was intoxicating. I chose white lace panties and matching lace bra. Neither did much to hide what was underneath however they accentuated my curves in a wicked way. With my hair dry and fluffy I piled on layers of warm clothing, boots, gloves, and got into bed.

I felt myself flying through the air and then caught by strong arms. “Jesus its cold out here!” I could feel the chuckle in Jaime’s chest as he carried me. “Open your eyes Sassenach, look at this beautiful day!” I burrowed deeper against his magnificent chest. “No, I want to stay right here if you don’t mind” He was laughing, “you will miss my surprise for a beautiful lass!” I looked up at his face and one thousand butterflies let loose in my stomach. His eyes were like blue crystals against the white snow crinkled at the corners in play. He bent his head and kissed me hard. The butterflies took flight again. 

“There it is! Look Sassenach.” At the top of the hill there was a polished wood sled curving up in front and an open back. “If I’m right, it will take us right to the kitchen door.” His excitement seeped into me and I sat down between his legs. He held me tight and then pushed us over the top of the hill. It was exhilarating and I screamed with delight all the way down until we bumped into the steps of the kitchen. I was laughing and trying to stand up. “Again!” Jaime was suddenly quiet and very close to me. “Ye will have no more fun until ye pay yer debt to me lass.” My knees went weak when I looked at the heat in his eyes. “What… debt?” I took a step back, he followed. “Maybe we should feed the animals or farm.. or something.” His arm came around me stopping me in my tracks, he lowered his face within inches of mine. “Your debt will take all day to pay Sassenach.” His mouth was at my ear sending shivers down my spine. “Tis a grievous thing ye did temptress, and now ye must pay.” 

My knees buckled and Jaime swooped me up holding me against his chest. I was very impressed he could take the stairs two at a time while holding me. The door closed behind us and I was set on my feet. Jaime threw big logs on the fire and sat down motioning me to sit also. “I finished yer map and I want ye to commit it to memory, in case it doesna come with ye.” He pulled my coat off and handed me the map. Before we start I will take a wee part of the payment.” He pulled me up and kissed me deeply until I was panting. I put my arms around his neck and pulled him in to kiss again. 

He caressed my cheek looking in my eyes, “I love ye”, he whispered. I was under his spell until he pushed me down into the chair. “Now, start reading the instructions from Inverness.” I looked at him with lusty confusion. “Instructions Jaime?” He was striding around the room like a schoolmaster. “Yes, my love, starting at Inverness.” I looked at the paper and tried to focus. East six hours to the stream through the boulders, listen for bubbles and turn South for seven hours.” I was reading but my mind was making mad love to this beautiful man. “Sassenach, tell me what you just read.” His mouth was at my ear and hands lifted my chin for another mind spinning kiss. He pressed his hand down across my breasts pinching my nipple through my sweater. “Ah, Jesus Jaime” I panted. “I’m sorry lass, the fire is a bit hot. Lift yer arms.” He pulled my sweater off and pushed his nose into my neck. “My God ye smell good mo ciad-bhean.” He stood behind me and wrapped his hand in my hair pulling my head back to devour my mouth again. “Starting at Inverness, if ye please.” 

I could not catch my breath but picked up the map and repeated the first instructions again. “ I dinna think ye can concentrate with all those clothes on Sassenach. Please remove two things ye wearin lass.” Jaime sat down in the chair intending to watch me. I removed my boots. “One more thing lass” his voice deep and silky. I looked down and decided the pants were next. I turned my back to him, hooked my thumbs in the waistband and shimmied them down over my hips. I looked over my shoulder at Jaime’s smoldering eyes. “Off.” Bending at the waist I pushed them down to my feet and tossed them aside. When I stood up Jaime was pressed against me from behind. “Yer a vision love and I want ye.” My lungs were heaving to keep up with my racing heart. Jaime’s hands caressed me from my throat to my stomach. “Now lass” he whispered. “Tell me how I walk from Inverness.” 

“Walk East six hours to the stream under boulders, listen for bubbles…. and then… and then…” Jaime turned me to him and squeezed my arse pushing me into his erection. “Jaime please.” He kissed me timidly until my tongue pushed through his lips deepening the kiss. His hand dragged up my inner thigh and bumped against my heat. “God Jaime, I need to feel you pound me.” He held me close and licked and sucked my neck. He pulled my legs around his waist and held me just above his erection. I looked at him my chest heaving, mouth open, waiting.

He set me down in the chair and eased my shirt over my head. “Christ yer beautiful lass.” Now, where do I walk after the bubbles? He walked in front of me and raked his eyes over my body. I was in a lust fog not wanting to speak. “Sassenach, after the bubbles?” I looked at the paper, conscious of my heaving chest that held his gaze. “Um, you walk South for seven hours .” He lifted me into his arms and carried me to the bed. Standing at the foot he spoke softly, “now then, lift yer knees and open yer legs. Oh, my love ye drive this beast wild.” I was looking at him thinking I might orgasm from the look on his face. “Jaime, please I need to feel you.”

My eyes closed in the mounting ecstasy. I heard his clothes hit the floor and felt his hands grab my panties pulling them off. “Sweet Lord what have ye done to ye self”. I tried to open my eyes but I felt his hot breath against me and was lost in the fog. “Open yer legs lass” I was whimpering in need and gasped when his tongue licked the length of me. He sucked and drove his fingers into me. I was begging him to make me come. 

I felt Jaime pull himself above me, still not touching skin to skin. “Sassenach, lift yerself to me.” he breathed. I lifted my pelvis and he pushed into me hard. “God! Jaime, more!” He pushed me to the bed and thrust deeply “Sassenach, I teased ye too long and I canna stop. Open yerself to me love.” I pressed my legs open and found his ear whispering “please fuck me.” He growled and slammed himself into me over and over. I climaxed quickly and the continued battering made it last so much longer. He drove deep into me smashing against my clit making me come again. We both gasped, holding each other close while our bodies pulsed with pleasure.

Jaime pulled my legs up over his thighs and wrapped around me. He pressed his face into my hair, mouth to my ear, “will ye marry me Claire?” I turned to kiss him, “yes, one thousand times, yes.” He pulled the quilt over us and we slept. 

I was dreaming about bubbles, and maps, and warm hands caressing me. Nipples being sucked lightly, a tongue licking up my neck. I heard deep breathing in my ear and felt my desire ignite. “Hmmmm…” Hands were shifting me just a bit and then ..”ah..” the most exquisite invasion pushed up into me. “Open yer legs mo ciad-bhean, let me touch ye.” A warm hand was between my legs lightly tapping me, urging the heat. Jaime went from slow, to ramming, to slow, driving me out of my mind. “God Jaime, please make me come”. His finger became merciless as he pounded me. I screamed and felt a hand come over my mouth which just fueled the explosion. “Jesus!” Was the only complete word I heard as he buried himself so deep I could feel his ejaculation. We were heaving for breath and Jaime wrapped his arms around me. 

“Sassenach…… mo ciad-bhean?” I rolled toward the requester of my attention but refused to open my eyes. “hmm?” Jaime cuddled me, “How do I get to Lallybroch from Inverness?” My eyes flew open and I knew the answer! “Head east for six hours until you find the stream that flows under the boulders, when you hear the bubbles, head south for seven hours. When you walk across the wagon road, turn West for 2 hours.” My smile was huge, I could feel it. “Ye smart and beautiful Sassenach. But, ye’ve got these wee feet so ye must convert the hours to suit ye own stride, aye?” I leveled a look at him, “wait, you mean…….”, question interrupted by a full-body tackle, from which I landed quite softly and was then buried in kisses. 

I dressed, reluctantly, and coaxed Jaime to do the same. “I want to do farming and feed animals please.” Stubborn scot. I pulled the pillow off of his head and whispered all the things I would do to him tomorrow if I could do some chores today. My goodness that scot can move when properly motivated. In truth, I was feeling guilty knowing Jaime would have his whole day of work left to do after I disappeared. It was time I pitched in.

Jenny was in the kitchen preparing dinner. I gave her a hug, so happy to see her. “Are ye feelin better lass?” I wrapped my scarf around my neck. “Actually, I feel so good I’m going farming with Jaime!” She gave me a very odd look and then looked at Jaime with raised eyebrows. “Come lass, much to do.” I walked outside and changed my mind instantly. I turned back toward the house and smacked right into Jaime. “It’s too cold!” Jaime laughed and threw me on his shoulder holding his arms out to the sides warning me to hang on. I shrieked with laughter but clung to whatever I could reach. 

I was so happy here working beside Jaime. I watched the grain slide out of the scoop into the feeding barrel as an impatient goat waited on the other side. I filled the scoop again hearing Joe and Baritone talking in the…..


	18. Joyous In The Morning

One month ago I walked out of a hospital where I had been tied to a bed and heavily medicated for two days. Someone’s signature on a form took away my rights, my voice, and my choice. My one advocate was rendered powerless by the three dimensions of western medicine to which he has pledged his life. If Dr. Green has been a crusty old fuck who believed the psychobabble of his contemporaries I might still be there. I felt cold fingers walk up my spine.

The rose glasses were lost during those two days and I have not found them yet. Instead, I have a clear vision of my life without a family, the fashion bubble I exist in, and this noisy, filthy city that surrounds me. My windows offer a glimpse of the truth and I cannot stop looking. I stand at the end of the hall and will myself to walk by the window and keep going. Twenty minutes later I will be standing there, watching babies play in the street, gangsters stealing purses, police cars chasing bad guys. 

Leaving New York was an easy decision. It will affect my career but I don’t care because its a component of the artificiality. The great deception. The first thing I do after waking in Jaime's wood is breath deep several times. Clean air is astoundingly different and the people on the street will never know that experience.

It has taken a month to complete my obligations and prepare for an extended stay in Scotland. Its the only location that made sense to me. My hope is to find answers about my incredible visitations. How and why do I go there, what is the purpose, and how can I stay there forever? If there are answers to these questions I will find them there in the folklore and mythology passed from one generation to the next. First on my list is to find Lallybroch. My internet searching and emails to historians have been useless but I am the adopted daughter of a great archeologist. I will find it. I certainly know how to walk there from Inverness. Ah, there is Jamie in my mind again filling me with love and warmth. 

My excitement about going to Scotland has been growing daily but on the eve of my departure my stomach is nervous and my mind is doubtful. What if I can’t get to Jaime from there? What if there never was a Lallybroch, what if Jaime Fraser never existed. “Stop!”Time for a bath to get my mind on something else. 

My apartment filled with the scent of Coco Chanel, Jaime’s favorite. I mentally ticked off my packing list when I heard something in the other room. What the fuck was that? I heard my front door close and slid under the bubbles. “Are you in there little freak?” I let my breath out only to draw it in again to scream at my nitwit friend. “Jesus H Roosevelt Christ! You scared the shit out of me Joe! Why did you do that, what are you doing here, why didn’t you warn me!”

Joe walked into my bathroom and sat on the closed toilet with a very sassy grin on his face. “Give me your foot pet.” He pulled my toe kit from under the sink and sat on the floor. I hooked my knee over the tub so he could work his magic. He was pushing cuticles back and filing my toenails, polishing the heel and ball with a pumice stone. “Next.” I switched legs and watched him. Joe is never a fountain of information but tonight he was extra quiet. “Did you and Baritone have a fight?” Joe’s head snapped up, eyebrows raised, “no, he’s cool with it.” I let out a sigh and my eyes were drooping from Joe’s ministrations. “Cool with what?” Joe spun the pumice stone in the air for a fresh side, “me going to Scotland with you.”

“You're what?!” I sat up so fast my foot came up and slapped Joe under his chin shooting bubbles in every direction. “Oh fuck! God, I am so sorry Joe!” I suppose my uncontrolled giggling did not promote the sincerity of my apology, nor did the body of bubbles leaping out of the tub to hug him. “I hope you have other clothes because those are a mess. Goodnight.” My door closed and I let out a yippeee!

I took a deep breath through my nose and stretched, trying to identify that smell. Worms. My eyes slammed open and I sat up looking for Jamie. I looked up at a tarp strung over me from tree to tree, another one underneath me. It was drizzling and it definitely smelled like worms, how, I wondered, would I know that. “Sassenach!” The most handsome face is the world was smiling bright and running toward me. He pulled me up and hugged me for at least a minute.

I need to inspect ye clothes Sassenach. With that, he opened my coat, pulled up my sweater, tested the thickness of the undershirt, touched my boot and caressed my arse. “Tis a fine fat arse mo gràdhag.” I expected a groping kiss to send me into Netherland, instead, he grabbed my hand, “cmon Sassenach, we have work to do.” It was all I could do to stay on my feet. “Christ Jaime are you ever not so joyous in the morning?” He stopped and pulled me to him, stroking my cheek with his hand. “No mo ciad-bhean. My joy is seeing ye every morn and anythin between ye and my bed is just in my way.” His crystal blue eyes were full of love and took my breath away. “I havena tasted my porridge for more than a month, I just pour all of it in my mouth and swallow. Don’t even sit down to do it. C’mon.” And we were off again running through the wood. 

The snow had mostly melted and the mud was quite deep on the forest floor. We approached the hill and I caught sight of… the sled! “You brought the sled!” Jamie grabbed huge chunks of mud off my boots and his and then sat down behind me. “It doesna go well in mud so I covered the bottom with wax and bear grease. Ready Sassenach?” He held me against him and pushed us off. My scream started mid-way down and stopped under a pile of hay that Jaime steered us into. “Oh my God Jaime, terminal velocity!” Jaime was laughing and picking hay out of my hair. I jumped on the first step toward the kitchen. “Come here goofball.” He stood in front of me and we were eye to eye for the first time. “My God, you’re even more handsome up here, and I love every inch of you.” I kissed him deeply and held him tight.

“Hey! Quit chewin on the lass. I got laddie frothin and exhausted for ye. Let’s do this!” I looked up, “Murtagh’s here!” I started running to the round pen waving. His smile sparkled in the peeking sun, eyes crinkling in the corners. I was excited to see him.”Hello Lassie, ye picked a fine morn for a ride!” “A what?” I turned around searching for Jaime who walked toward the round pen with a saddle and bridle over his shoulder. He tossed the tack onto the fence and jumped into the pen. Murtagh handed him the long line and Jaime whistled through his teeth to move the horse along. The two men studied the horse as they turned in a circle watching. Jaime twirled the last ten feet of the long line to move the horse into a canter. After several minutes he gave a sharp “HO” and the horse nearly stopped in his tracks. He was exhausted, chest heaving, and frothing from his mouth. 

Jamie spoke Gaelic, very low in a sing-song manner. He smiled at the horse running his hand down the neck and withers. The words were unknown to me but sounded like “good boy.” Jaime turned away from the horse and the beast followed him to where the tack was. Murtagh held the lead rubbing the neck and face and humming softly. Jaime stood in front and showed the saddle, giving time to sniff and inspect, speaking continuous Gaelic. The horse seemed mesmerized by Jaime’s voice and respect. Every so often he would stop and look at the eyes as if to make a point. I was entranced by him and so was the horse. 

In one confident motion, Jaime saddled the horse. More sounds that were happy like “good boy!” With the same confidence, he unsnapped the lead and bridled the horse pushing a bit into his mouth. Murtagh came from the barn with a flake of hay and Jaime fed him chunk by chunk. 

“Do you think we have an easy taming ahead Murtagh?” Jaime called over his shoulder as he jogged toward me. His arms came around my waist and he kissed me hard. Watching him work was hot and I wanted to show him. “Wish me luck Sassenach” he was smiling and walking away. “Wait. Luck…..?

Jaime strode to the horse and threw his leg up landing in the saddle. Reins were shortened, stirrups found, still speaking calmly to the horse and nudged him forward. The horse took off at a dead gallop shrieking, tail straight up, nose in the air. Jaime just leaned back and without effort managed to stay on. Next came almost vertical bucking followed by attempted murder by running Murtagh down. Murtagh scrambled up the fence next to me and watched silently. “Better close your mouth lass before mud gets in there.” He was chuckling at me. The horse reared so violently that Jaime yelled at it and slapped his neck. He Shortened the reins and pushed the horse to trot. Suddenly he was merciless and continued to drive the horse forward giving him harsh penalty for bad behavior. When he disciplined, it was in English which surprised me.

Jaime finally let the beast walk letting him pull the reins so he could lower his head. The horse was covered in sweat but his face seemed calmer. Murtagh walked out of the barn with Brimstone. He waved me over. You’re the lead for Jaime lassie. Stay in front and keep moving. Jaime might bury the laddy’s nose up her butt if he is beyond reason. You keep movin forward. Have fun lass” I twisted in my saddle, “fun?”

Jaime walked his horse beside me across the Lallybroch land chatting like nothing weird just happened. “Are you never scared Jaime?” Nay lass, it helps to know what’s gonna happen.” He pointed at the forest edge ahead,” about three trees into the wood he’s puttin his head down and runnin for a low branch to knock me off. Then the first clearin he will tuck his head so he canna feel the bit and then run away. Jaime was leaning back in the saddle holding the ends of the reins like he was riding the old gray mare rather than son of satan. “Why aren't you afraid?” He stroked the beast. “He is in the fight of his life, he thinks. So scared by the bit and saddle he is willin to do anything to save himself. So would I Sassenach so I don’t judge his methods. He canna hurt me if I stay in the saddle and he’s no likely to toss me.”

“My beauty, if ye love me keep moving forward at a slow walk and pretend ye calm. If ye can pick up the game trail just follow it. Otherwise, I’ll shout out when ye close to the cliffs.” I whipped my head around, “what?!” Jaime almost slipped off the saddle he was laughing so hard. I gave him a withering look that accidentally turned sexy and hot. Fuck!

We entered the wood. “Sassenach, are ye packed up and ready to board for Scotland?” I was forcing myself to breathe. “Yes, tomorrow afternoon I’ll be, well here. I heard hooves through the undergrowth as the beast shot forward for the nearest low branch. Jaime’s upper body was pressed against the horse shoulder. He slapped him hard to get his attention. I continued to move forward as directed. Twice the horse just started bouncing and spinning until Jaime shoved his nose up Brimstone’s arse. The lassie simply moved her tail aside and kept walking. 

I heard water running up ahead and suddenly I was parched. Jaime suggested we rest the horses and I happily dismounted. We laid in thick reed grass watching the clouds drift by. My head was on Jaime’s stomach and he was stroking my thigh. “Thank ye for helpin me today mo gràdhag. I thought it time to show ye I’m just a farmer and nothin special.” I looked up at him. “You are the best man I’ve ever known Jaime. What I saw today was skill, command, and fearlessness… it was so hot… damn it. I’m sorry! I don’t mean to bring everything back to sex, it just happens. Jaime chuckled. “My beauty, yer like a diamond that fell from the sky into my hand. I’ll no be hearin yer regret when ye make your choice. ” My head was spinning. “A choice Jaime? I don’t understand.” He rolled around me and somehow I was laying on the grass and he above me stroking my face. Should there come a time ye can choose your world or mine ye’ll know what ye choosin mo ciad-bhean.” I suddenly understood, “Jaime, could that ever happen?” He smiled so sweetly. “I swear by my hope of heaven I will lay the choice at your feet Sassenach.”

Jaime kissed me deeply and rolled on top of me. I felt his erection pushing into my thigh and I squirmed seeking pressure. “Jaime, I want you to strip me bare and take me to the angels, “ I panted. Jaime looked away, “Sassenach, I looked too long at your round arse this morning. Now, it has taken over my mind.” He became very serious and pressed his forehead against mine, “I mean to have that round arse bent to my will. Quiet and still were your words I believe.” I was struggling to breathe. “Yes, I will be quiet and still,” I whispered. Jaime got to his feet, “thank God we’re only a mile from home.”

Starting back to Lallybroch was delayed by Jaime’s horse sidestepping when Jaime raised his foot to the saddle. The third time he did it I dissolved in giggles bent over Brimstone with tears on my cheeks. Jaime gave me a stern look and walked to Son of Satan’s ear. He was speaking Gaelic, conversing with the horse and pointing at me occasionally. Then he lifted his leg and mounted without incident. My brows shot up…. you are a complex man Jaime Fraser I thought. 

Returning to Lallybroch we met Murtagh heading out to catch up with Jenny and Ian who were visiting tenants. Jaime smiled at me, “looks like its just you and…” Seeing the barn up ahead son of satan screamed and took off at a full gallop slowing down only to buck a few times giving Jaime an opening to spur him hard in the other direction. Poor SS looked so confused like ‘why am I running in this direction?’ Jaime ran him to the edge of the wood and then steered him into circles getting ever closer to me. SS was being obedient and Jaime was soft on his mouth as a reward. The last circle was a slow controlled canter bringing the horse within view of the barn again. Jaime seemed confident and even let the horse pull the reins and drop his head.” Sorry Sassenach, I…” the horse launched toward the barn and I heard “Christ you idiot I dinna have time for this nonsense.”

I watched Jaime put SS through the paces and it was a wonder to me that he and the horse were so in tune to each other. This time he jammed the horse's nose up Brimstone’s butt. “Ladies, if ye dinna mind, a nice slow walk to the barn if ye please.” I giggled at that but seeing Jaime’s muscles bulge with sweat stopped them short and I stared at him. “Sassenach, I’ll have ye right here in the open if ye don’t start movin” His smile was dazzling. I looked up at his face, “what?”

Jaime nudged SS forward, “Ye see what ye did laddie? My dearest love canna think straight and its yer fault ye wee devil.” He clucked for Brimstone to follow and we reached the barn without incident. I couldn’t find my tongue and blushed fiercely when Jaime caught me looking at him. Once in the shade of the barn he pulled me off the saddle and crushed me in a deep kiss. He pushed me to the door of the barn and slammed it shut. Turning to me his hands were everywhere I wanted them to be. I barely had a thought the horses were not put up yet when he lifted my legs around his waist and pushed me against the wall. We were lost in each other just trying to get closer. “I need ye lass, now” I felt one boot come off and barely touched the ground before I was relieved of one pant leg. He pulled me back up, pushed my panties aside, and lowered me onto his cock. 

Maybe it was the physical exercise or the slow burn of watching Jaime’s body on the horse that pushed me into a new level of surrender and pleasure. One thing I know is there were two horses, the two of us, and Jaime’s beast, let loose to ravish me. We collapsed on the hay pile panting for our lives. Jaime’s hands were shaking and his chest heaving. “Are ye well Sassenach?” I opened my eyes at him, hearing the catch of his breath. “Your eyes are so beautiful, my heart hurts lookin at em sometimes.” He pulled me to him and I pressed my face to his neck and sighed. 

“Ah, ye did good laddie! And I thank ye for not bitin me in the arse when ye had the chance.” Jaime closed the pen doors having fed and watered the horses. He held his hand out to me. The house was quiet and empty but sweet Jenny had left food for us. Jaime stoked up the fire and lit the lamps while I brought the food into the parlor. We talked and ate with our fingers and I noticed a strange look in his eyes at times. When the food was gone I cleaned up the dishes and put them away. When I returned Jaime was deep in thought staring at the fire. I burned the image into my memory.

“What is it love? There is something troubling you.” He put his hand over mine. “Ye willna like what troubles my thoughts Sassenach. Ye will think less of me thinkin them.” I was gripped with fear suddenly, was he going to confess something to shatter my world? His voice was soft when he explained his understanding of my living conditions in New York. “Ye live in a box with hundreds of other boxes stacked above ye. The taxi person escorts ye where ever ye need go. Ye keep company with Joe who would die for ye. And ye come to me every night when ye fall asleep. He took a deep breath. Its no life for ye Sassenach. When I see ye riding in the fields with your air blowin in the wind, smiling like a child, it breaks my heart that you live in a box crushed by people. But its safe for me and I ask yer forgiveness for my selfish thoughts.” 

Jaime would not look at me. I struggled to understand what he described as my home and realized he constructed the image from my description of apartment living in New York. In Jaime’s mind, the taxi is a single individual who escorts me everywhere instead of a fleet of nameless drivers who wouldn’t push me out of the way if a piano was falling on my head. “If ye were miserable ye would keep coming back to me mo gràdhag. I am sorry for my selfish thoughts and ask yer forgiveness Claire.” I was speechless.

When he looked up his face was a study in shame and worry. “There’s more, isn’t there? What else could trouble you?” He touched my face and looked into my eyes. “Tomorrow you come to Scotland, somehow in a single day, and ye will be free to roam the hills and meet new people. Maybe you won’t come back again. Sassenach, if you remember me then I dinna care if everyone else forgets.”

It felt like hours I looked at him, trying to wrap my head around his statements. I burst into tears and they gushed like tiny hoses. My arms flew around him and I was kissing his neck, his face, his chest, all while sobbing his name. He held me tight and let me cry. When I could think again I told him everything in my heart but was still sobbing so he understood not a lick of it. I had a death grip on him, afraid to let go. His soft voice spoke Gaelic in my ear and he stroked my hair until I stopped crying.

“Please Sassanech, ye breakin my heart. I can take a lot of my own pain and keep goin, but I canna take yers. Will ye share what ye tried to say before, I dinna ken a word of it.” I told him I was coming to Scotland to find the why’s and how’s of my visits. “If there is a choice, I’m going to find it.”

We talked and kissed and made promises. Jaime’s hand had worked it’s way under my sweater and shirt and was touching my nipples poking out of my lace bra. “Ye made an agreement Sassenach when we stopped at the river, did ye naught? Quiet and still it was.” I looked in his eyes and thought it was pure folly to ever resist him. And why would I want to? “What is it you want to do with my butt?”  
Jaime chuckled and moved us into a sitting position. “First, I want to look at it for as long as I want, same with touchin it. Here mo gràdhag,” jumping up from the sofa, “I’ll help ye with yer boots.” The look on his face was indescribable, maybe like a child who finds the chocolate store unguarded. I was planning another strip tease until he pulled me up and in two moves was staring at my black lace underwear. “Christ Claire, yer beautiful,” said almost reverently, followed quickly by “leave those on Sassenach and lay across my legs.” 

My arse was now right in front of his face. He just looked for several minutes. It occurred to me he was visually starved due to form obscuring bum rolls and a total lack of porn. Poor sweet Jaime, my funny love. He placed his large palm on one cheek, followed the curve, pushed them together, ran his finger under the fabric. I found the experience relaxing until his fingers ventured south. He pushed the lace down exposing my cheeks and groaned with his fondling. “Lift ye hips lass” he pulled them off and my heat meter was rising. “Yer body is perfect and I am in love with yer arse but have no idea why.” He ran the tip of his finger up my leg and followed my curves. I was willfully breathing slowly and filling my head with pictures of dog food and garbage that morphed into sexy images. I felt his hands unclasp my bra. “Turn over love” he whispered, “and keep yer eyes closed mo gràdhag.” What followed was the most sensuous experience of my life as his fingers traced my every curve slowly. 

I lost the ability to think or feel time. I existed on a plane of sensation. If I tried to touch him he would lower my hands to my sides. He slid a finger down my fold “my Sassanech is dripping honey” he whispered. He lifted me up and set me on the floor asking me to kneel. He pressed my hips back on my feet. With a soft hand, he pushed my neck to the floor. It was quite obvious which body part he intended to dominate. He slid himself slowly into me and I cried out for more. He gripped my hips pulling me into him. He pulled completely out and just seemed to be looking at me. “Spread ye legs Sassenach” was whispered into my ear. He thrust deeply and grabbed my hair to hold me back against him. With every thrust, I felt my breast bounce and I was over the top moments later. I heard his body smack into my arse and then his loud release. 

We laid on the couch kissing and talking. Neither of us wanted to sleep or miss a single moment. We both felt a change was coming and savored every second of time we had left. We dressed and Jaime took me to his room where he pushed the massive bed up against the wall. “I want to show ye somethin mo nighean donn. It's a secret place I hide my papers.” He lined his heel up with with the end of a board and pressed down popping open the other end. He pulled the board away to reveal a four-foot compartment filled with papers. “Count with me Sassenach.” We counted the boards from both walls in reference to the corner. 

He asked me several times during the next hour, how many boards across, how many down. He wanted me to remember, I wondered why. 

What is yer favorite thing to do here Sassenach? That was too easy, “feed carrots to brimstone.” We both grabbed a bunch of carrots from the root cellar and I fed them to both horses. I whispered to son-of-satan, “mind your manners lad. He is the best man to see you safely through life. If you hurt him, well your life will end on my very next visit.” I patted his neck and ran my hand down one-hundred percent Egyptian cotton. A tear rolled down my face and I wiped it away with irritation.


	19. Scotland

I felt a blanket of doom around me all morning while I finished packing and checked my to-do list for the hundredth time. We didn’t talk about it but I know we both felt a foreboding by my trip to Scotland. There were risks involved but I really hoped they would come to nothing. I had scoured the resources in the US but there was little about Scottish mysticism in the 18th century. There was nothing about the Fraser family, Jaime Fraser, or Lallybroch. Like they never existed. 

Much of the family and clan history was lost after the uprising of 1745 at Culloden Moor. The Highlanders, led by bonnie prince Charlie fought the crown for independence and restoration of King James to the Scottish throne. Most accounts claim a hand full of highland farmers went up against the mighty British army and were cut down in less than two hours. It was a slaughter that would forever change the highland way of life and kill thousands of Highlanders in the skirmish and after. I wondered if Jaime was among them. I did not see any alternative but to spend time in Edinburgh and hope I get lucky.

When Joe decided at the last minute to join me there were some frantic phone calls to arrange flight and lodging for him. The bed and breakfast I booked had another reservation available for three of the weeks I was there. We could figure out the last week later. The owner of the inn was named Fiona and we spent so much time on the phone it felt like we were old friends. She had run the place for forty-five years, her mother for thirty years before her. Her family had been in Scotland for hundreds of years. She would be a great resource.

I continued to do small chores until Joe finally arrived to distract me. Baritone was with him so we sat at the table and had a few shots. The alcohol did not make us silly and happy like usual. It just seemed to drag us down further. What the fuck is happening to all three of us. We all moped like it was the end of senior year at boarding school. I locked my front door at nine-thirty that night. It occurred to me I am usually asleep by now and Jaime would be expecting me any minute. Shit! My poor Jaime will be waiting, and wondering, and then worrying. Fuck! If there was only a way to let him know I was all right. Baritone kissed us both goodbye and left us at the curb. I grabbed a porter for all my cases and we started the long process of checking in. 

I moved my flight time until later in the day so I could be with Joe. We would be arriving in Edinburgh around six o’clock in the morning. Flying through the night I wondered if I would travel to see Jaime from a plane. I hoped so. Let’s hope the flight leaves on time. It was an hour and a half of waiting in lines, the pat down, the carry-on x-ray, and finally seated at our gate. JFK was ridiculously busy tonight and became more so in a very short time. I knew something was wrong and wandered over to the monitors with flight times and delays. I looked up and the whole bank went black. After two or three minutes lights flickered on most of the monitors and certain flights appeared but only a few. I watched in horror as every line on every monitor filled with ‘Cancellation due to weather.’ 

I felt Joe’s arm on my shoulder. “Nothing but a speed bump pet. I am going to the desk to get on the stand-by list.” He looked at my face with a weird expression. I felt his hand run down my arm and two warm fingers press my wrist. “Let’s find our seats.” When Joe smothers it’s out of worry and I let him so at least one of us will feel better. I was so hot and felt beads of sweat on my forehead. I pulled the ball cap off and ran my arm across the building moisture. I felt sick. “Oh boy, Claire, not a good plan, can we get all this hair back into the cap please?” He held the cap under my fallen hair and tried to scoop it back in and put it on my head. “What are you doing?” I asked incredulously. He turned me around and pointed at the shop selling magazines among other wasteful things. There I was on three covers. I suddenly felt like I was naked in a sea of people and started to shake. Joe was walking me to the lavatory and almost pushed me in. 

Back at my seat, I stared at the ground feeling every minute of Jaime’s angst. Please don’t wait for me today my love. I’m not coming. Not for the first time I found myself praying to a God I’ve never known. It was my parent’s God and maybe the comfort I felt came from a connection to them. Jaime’s worst fear was coming true and I could nothing to stop it. Sometime around four o’clock in the morning my name was called for stand-by. Joe was gathering my things when I grabbed his arms. “No!” I felt my eyelids open to the hurting position. “No, not without you Joe!” He pulled my fingers off his arms and put them in my lap. “Ok pet, we go together.” He left to update the reservation desk. 

Jaime slept fitfully all night. His dreams were so vivid he had to convince himself they were not real. He felt his chest and got out of bed. The sun will rise soon he reasoned and she will be here, like always, and today I don’t let her out of this room. He tried to chuckle but it came out like a strangled gasp. He paced. And paced, until Jenny yelled from her room “go to sleep ya bonehead!” He snarled in the dark and got dressed. There was never a shortage of chores to do, even in the dark. The first place he went was Claire’s tree. He saw something under the tree and started running “Christ she’s here already.” He picked up the tarp he laid yesterday and threw it. 

Jaime resolved to stop acting like an idiot. He could almost hear her voice saying it in his head. His first smile of the day, interrupted by movement to the right. There was scarce little light but he definitely saw something. He reached for his dirk, not there. So he waited and watched. Another movement had him slink behind the tree. The mud, six inches deep, made a slurping sound when a foot, or paw, was pulled out. He listened. When he saw them it was clear they were men, or three bears walking upright. Doubtful. When the slurping shapes made their way toward the pasture fence he knew this was no more than a midnight raid on his sheep. He smiled like the devil himself.

The three grant boys were in a hushed argument about whether or not to wait until tomorrow night as the dawn could be seen on the horizon. Jaime had snuck up on them by timing his slurp with one of theirs and was now leaning against a tree directly behind them. His smile would have scared the rattle off an Addler snake. “Ye boys need any help stealin my sheep? All three of them hushed and turned around, drawing there dirks. His movement was a blur to the startled men as he kicked the dirk out of two hands and landed a knockout punch to the third. “What is to be done w’ ye?” He prowled back and forth until one of them seized the moment and started punching. Jaime’s body was ducking blows and delivering his own in a dance he had used since childhood. Two of them were injured, the third still lay on the ground. He grabbed the shirt of one and head-butted him causing blood to flow across his mouth. He pulled the man up close to his face and the man winced for another blow. “Get off my land or I will kill the three of ye.” He was laughing, feeling more like himself. “Now, where is that bastard horse.”

The day was infinitely long as Jaime chased up to Claire’s tree hourly. The fatigue was pulling him down and when the rain started he found his bed and slept. 

The catastrophic chaos at the airport only worsened through the night and next day. I became increasingly despondent and when Joe slept on my lap I was thankful for the peace. I wanted to concentrate on Jaime as if sending a message through the centuries. Have faith my love I am coming. Joe offered to get us home to rest and try again another time but I couldn’t give up. It was four o’clock in the afternoon and I finally laid on Joe and fell asleep. 

I was drifting through the woods humming peacefully, so happy and in love. I see Jaime and fly to him melting into his embrace. His beautiful face is beaming to see me. We kiss and he touches my cheek. “I was fearful for ye lass, are ye well?” I kissed him again. “I am stuck in the airport and can’t get out for another day. I am on my way to you love. Please don’t worry, I am coming.” “Claire!” My head jerked up “what?” Joe was squirming under me trying to stand up. “Wake up pet, its time to go.” I shook my head trying to get my bearings. “I can’t give up Joe, I know this is too much. You can go home and I will wait here.” He looked at me smiling, “how about the two of us go to Scotland?”

I have never been so miserable being jammed into coach, the fat man next to me was leering at me like he would take a bite any moment. My head hurt but so did everything else. I so wanted to lay on the floor screaming and kick my feet. I felt Joe’s fingers on my wrist and slapped his hand away. “Stop doing that, I am fit as a fiddle. That’s the only happy thing you will hear from me until we land. Just a warning you idiot.” Joe seemed satisfied by that response and leaned his head back to sleep. ‘I’m coming Jaime’ was like a chant in my head for the next six hours. Thankfully Joe never woke up until the wheels hit the asphalt. At least one of us would be fresh. 

Getting out of the airport and finding the Jeep I rented was a chore. Joe’s eyes lit up when he saw the beastly vehicle and whistled at the huge tires, high profile, and ragtop. “Wow, Scotland just got more fun!” It even had navigation so I punched in the address of the bed and breakfast and we were off. The city of Edinburgh is ancient and romantic and I was overcome. I could see castle ruins in the distance and old architecture like time had not passed for this little town. It was nine o’clock in the morning, perfect for check-in at Fiona’s. 

When I shook Fiona’s hand she pulled me into her embrace. I felt something like an electric current that was warm and loving. I must be over-tired I thought as tears pressed my eyeballs. Our rooms were side by side and Fiona led us around the dining area and restrooms. She had to be the calmest person on the planet I thought. I closed the door to my room and leaned against it. Finally, I’m here. I laid on my bed and drifted to sleep-almost. Joe was knocking on the wall, and then at my door. “I want to drive the Jeep in the countryside, let’s go.” I moaned a laugh because he looked like a four-year-old on Christmas morning wanting to play with his toys. 

The highlands were just as breathtaking as they are in 1743 I thought. We explored castle ruins and abandoned homes and long dirt roads that ended abruptly forcing us to turn around. “I want to find Lallybroch Joe, to prove to myself it existed.” We headed back to the city. We studied from the birth archives and libraries receiving assistance from people who were warm and helpful. As the afternoon waned I felt a certain pang of fear. Maybe Lallybroch didn’t exist. 

Fiona noticed my dour mood and asked how the exploring went. She cocked her head to the side and looked at me with understanding eyes. I was willfully fighting the tears back and wanted so much to be alone in my room. “Maybe I can help ye, who are ye lookin for?” I felt a persistent tear roll down my cheek. I heard the front door open as Joe returned from parking the Jeep. He looked at me with concern. “Lallybroch, and Jaime Fraser,” I said quickly. Fiona smiled at me conspiratorially. “Ah, the Dunn bonnet, a famous outlaw he was. My mam told me stories about him, how he led an army in the uprising and lived as an outlaw after.” I heard roaring in my ears and the room was dimming to black in my peripheral vision. I felt myself fall forward into the blackness. 

Jaime was walking through the wood looking for Claire. He heard her voice on the wind and turned to find her floating toward him. He was overjoyed and held her close. She whispered something about being stuck somewhere. She kissed him with all the love he felt for her. I am coming she whispered, do not worry. “Claire!” He sat up, astounded that the rooster was announcing the dawn. She would be here any minute!. Not stopping to swallow a bowl full of porridge Jaime raced for the hill. Yesterday’s rain added another inch to the mud slowing his way to Claire’s tree. He could see the empty ground long before reaching it. His heart hurt. He found the tossed tarp and sat on it leaning against the tree. He waited there for three hours, each minute pushing him further into the abyss of his worst fear. 

“Be happy my dearest love.” He made his way to the barn and that bastard horse. SS backed up when he saw Jaime, expecting that hateful saddle and metal in his mouth. Jaime just leaned into his warmth and emptied his head and heart to the beast. He was deflated and empty inside. He thought about going to the kirkyard to be with his father but couldn’t muster the interest to stand up. The animals watched with interest as Jaime sat against the barn wall like a statue until dark. In his gloom, he heard the voice of his godfather and hands pulling him up. “C’mon laddie boy, the barn is safe for tonight.”

Jaime paced in his room without a thought of the creaking boards driving anyone bellow crazy. Jenny was knitting by the fire and looked up at the ceiling like she would choke her brother to death in a minute. Ian reached for her hand. “If you disappeared from my life dove, I wouldna want to live on and if I did, my heart would live in torment over bein without ye for the rest of my days. Its a powerful hurt Jaime has, he loves the lass more than life itself.” Jenny’s eyes flew open and she gasped. She turned to Ian and said, “it doesna bother me so much now, hardly notice it.” She turned back to her knitting looking at the ceiling with a worried eye. 

Deep in the night, Jaime’s pacing stopped. He penned a note to Claire;

My Dearest Sassenach,  
I am so happy ye are free of the crushing city. Ye must be somewhere here in the hills of the highlands, yer black hair flyin in the wind. I will see you such til the end of my days my love.  
Hello to ye Joe! I know ye love the fairest lassie my heart has ever known so ye must be with her! Take care of my dearest love.   
The human heart is stronger than anything is what my Mam told me. It can shatter and live on. I take comfort in this and I know my final words will be I love ye Sassenach.  
J.F.

He pushed it into the secret hiding place under his bed. He laid in bed for hours until morning and never closed his eyes. He stood in front of Claire’s tree and wiped at his tears. He turned away, another long day to endure. His footsteps were so taxing that he leaned against a tree, twenty minutes later he would take another few steps only to stop again. He wondered where his strength went and decided he really didn’t care. 

Murtagh looked for Jaime all morning feeling his own worry setting in. His thought went back to the day he helped his own true love, Ellen Mackenzie, escape with her groom. He remained her champion through life enduring the obvious love between her and Jaime’s father. Her last request of him, watch over Jaime and keep him from harm. Her kiss was still felt on his temple. He loved the lad like his own and set out to find him. “C’mon laddie, its time to cut some trees or ye’ll be freezing the night through, aye. Jaime was found leaning against a tree close to the hill. Jaime pushed off the tree and followed Murtagh into the wood. 

“Claire! Please wake up pet.” I heard Joe’s voice coming at me fast and opened my eyes. Fiona, Joe, and two strangers were above me looking concerned. Joe pulled me to my feet and I leaned against him. “What the bloody hell happened?” I looked at Fiona and remembered. I reached for her, “please tell me everything you know.” We sat in the main room on comfortable couches and drank tea while Fiona told us the story of Lallybroch and the Dunn bonnet. I was spellbound. She explained how to get to Lallybroch but cautioned us that it was in ruins. The land was owned by the bank and for sale. The new owner would surely remove what remained of the house. “Best to see it now,” she said. I hugged Fiona so tight and blubbered my gratitude while backing to my room. When she was out of sight I started running calling behind me “goodnight Joe.” 

I felt tiny wings on my face and my hand came up to bat them away. I rolled over and heard a loud croak just in front of my face. My eyes opened slowly and stared into the eyes of a large bullfrog greedily pulling little flying insects into his mouth. I rather thought I was hindering his progress and pushed up from the ground. I smelled the air and a smile threatened to split my face in two. I was here! My heart racing I stood up but didn’t recognize the area. I started walking to where the hill would be but could not find the opening of the wood. I was starting to panic, where the fuck was I? 

In my panic, I heard two voices arguing. “Put yer back into it lad!” I turned in that direction thinking it sounded like Murtagh. I was running now, afraid I might not find him. “Hey!” I was yelling and my next step sent me sailing over a log and falling to the mud. “Mother fucker!” I stood hearing another voice, I was sure it was Jaime! I kept running trying to see through the hair in my face. I stopped, panting for air, and then I heard the sweetest sound. “Lass, is that ye Claire?” I looked up wiping hair out of my sight, leaving a large smudge of mud in its track. There he was. Murtagh’s arms came around me pulling me into his embrace. “Are ye well lass? Oh my God, what’s happened to ye?” I was so relieved and so happy to be back I just started babbling words and crying, again. When I looked up Jaime was three feet behind Murtagh standing stock still looking at me like he was seeing a ghost. “Jaime!” The next few seconds were a blur in time but I felt his strong arms around me, his sweet warm mouth on mine, his laughter as he pushed the hair out of my eyes, and his gasp when he looked into my eyes. 

“My beauty” he whispered.


	20. Reunited and Secrets Shared

Jaime held onto me like his very life depended on it, and I knew he had accepted his worse fear as truth. My heart hurt over that and I wanted to make him forget the last three days. I was confused about where I woke up but that had to wait until this man was restored and that would require some amazing alone time. I looked at him and his eyes were sparkly blue and happy. “Can we escape today and go to the cottage Jaime?” His smile said absolutely.

Murtagh looked at me with the scowl I have not seen on him before. It scared me a little so I asked him what was wrong. “I know ye come every day and I figured ye would tell me which of the tenants ye lived with and why you wear trousers all the time. Something is not sittin right and I ask ye lass, where do ye live?” I knew by his face he would show me no mercy if I skirted his questions. 

Jaime’s look was clear, this would be man to man. When he asked me to find Jenny I had to force myself not to run. I hoped Jaime could find an explanation that worked for Murtagh. His expression and tone were unsettling and I worried about being shunned by this whole family I had grown to love. Discussion or questions about where I come had been avoided so far, but like the elephant in the room, it had to be addressed someday. Murtagh finding me alone and lost in the wood made that day today and I was scared shitless.

I opened the kitchen door and saw Jenny cutting vegetables and humming to herself. She didn’t hear me and I didn’t want to scare her with that huge knife in her hand. Keeping my voice quiet, “Jenny?” She looked up with wide eyes. “Sweet Jesus lass, where ye been?” She rushed to hug me and I held on to her for a full minute. Now I was crying like a baby thinking I would no longer be welcome here. “Jenny please sit with me so I can explain everything.” There was no question she was a bit standoffish and my fear grew. “Please Jenny.” She grabbed a dish rag and dipped it into the hot water cauldron before handing it to me. “Does Jaime know yer here?” I shook my head. “Come lass I am all ears.” We sat in the parlor and I told her the whole story. Almost. 

Jenny did not stop me once and never looked away from my eyes. “I have questions," she started "The first two times ye came ye were in Paris, the third time ye had gone home to York. Couldn’t be more than a day’s ride but I have never heard of this town and French is not yer mother tongue. Where are ye people from?” I was looking at the ground. It was getting complicated and I felt like I was walking through a minefield. One wrong step and I am finished. “My home and accent are the new world… America.” Jenny's eyes narrowed at me and she shot out of her chair. “I was willin to listen lass but I won’t be made a fool of! I dinna know what yer comin for but my brother loves ye and I want to help. If yer tellin me ye made a four-month sea journey in a single day then yer the fool not me.” She stormed toward the kitchen and ten seconds later was walking back to me with Jaime behind her.

I looked at his eyes and felt a jolt go through me. There was no mistaking the burn I saw and felt. Did we really have to discuss this now? Jaime gently pushed his sister back into her seat. He knelt in front of her and took her hands. “I willna tell ye what to believe sister but I will ask ye to hear the lass out.” She was getting irritated and I felt more and more afraid I would not be convincing. Ian had come in and was sitting on the stairs to listen. His expression was stern and unyielding. "I come from the year 2018 Jenny.” The silence was deafening. She stared at me with wide eyes and an open mouth. “Why are ye here! What do ye want with Jaime?!” Tears ran down her cheeks and her whole body shook. She launched out of the chair and ran for the stairs, “I can hear no more of this Jaime!” She flew up the stairs sobbing loudly. Ian turned his gaze to me and I withered. 

I cried for a family lost, for a sister lost, for my acceptance lost. “Come lass.” Jaime took my hand, grabbed supplies from the kitchen, and we headed out to the barn. I sat in the hay trying to gain control of myself. This wasn’t all about me. Jaime was risking everything by telling the truth so quit your crying idiot. “Ready?” Brimstone walking under me was a comfort and I was dry-eyed when we reached the cottage. It was cold inside but I was so relieved to be alone with Jaime and away from the interrogation I didn’t care. The door closed and I was seized by a big scot kissing my face and saying ‘I love you’ over and over. When his mouth was on mine I held him there until my open mouth convinced him to taste me. “Jaime please, tell me you still want me” came out in gasps for air. He tilted my chin up to look in his eyes, “till my dying day Sassenach. But…” I kissed him hard, “no more talking.”

Jaime carried me to the bed where we kissed and spoke of loving each other. Our clothes were peeled off and we lay naked. Jaime’s hands trembled when he stroked me from hip to knee. My fingers traced every curve of his magnificent chest, biceps, and thigh. The affirmations came before anything physical and they were said over and over. My hand slid down his arm, across his buttock, and down his thigh. I stroked his inner thigh and cupped his balls pulling a gasp from him. The three-day abstinence was having its way with us and I whispered my request, “show me that you love me Jaime.” I was holding him, stroking slowly, searching his eyes for our connection.

Jaime’s hand came under my hip as he pulled me onto his bent leg. Holding my hips he guided me to him and entered me slowly. I saw stars and every fear that held me captive over the past three days melted by the sight of his gaze. He loved me so slowly and his heart was so open in his eyes. He pulled me to him and pushed me away. The depth he reached in me shot jolts through my core. I was at his mercy and would have walked off a mountain if he asked me to. “Ye belong to me Claire, now and forever.” He pulled me against him and held me there, I felt him inside me pressing against my cervix, I let my orgasm flow quietly over me and heard Jaime gasp my name as my muscles gripped him. He shuddered and we floated in pleasure. The angels set us back on earth and Jaime wrapped himself around me. “Tell me what’s happened to ye lass.” I told him everything up to the previous night. I didn't how to proceed with Fiona's story about the Dunn Bonet.

“There is more but I need a drink first, I am so thirsty!” Jaime chuckled, “I'm sorry lass, in my haste to get you away from the house I only thought to bring whiskey. There is no snow to melt for water mo ciad-bhean, but there’s a stream nearby, I will get some water.” I grabbed his arm, “there is nothing so great to watch you leave this bed even for one minute. Whiskey will do.” A kiss and he was upbringing his supplies in from his saddle, naked. I could not tear my gaze from thighs and butt as he moved. The bulging biceps from carrying his sack of supplies. I was rudely staring at his body but could not stop. “Claire.” My head jerked up to his face, “what.” He was laughing, “my love wants more from me, hmm?” My cheeks were hot, “I-I-um”. He laid next to me and turned me over on my belly as he stroked my back with his big hands. His caress was intoxicating and he covered my arse and down the back of my legs. Pulling his hands up and nudging my legs open. My heart was racing, and then he touched me and the throbbing became unmanageable. “oh!, God, Jaime!” Even after I was thrown into the explosion he continued to touch me so lightly and the angels kept me for what felt like an eternity. Strong hands gripped me and I was face to face with him. Breathing heavy I smiled into his eyes.

My intense orgasm emptied my body of stress and worry about what I would tell Jaime. He was my soul mate, the only answer was the truth. I felt immensely better, unburdened, able to trust Jaime to process my information. “Thank you Jaime. I have knowledge of what will happen to you in two years time. Do you want to hear it?” Jaime’s eyes got bigger as he considered my question. “Will it bring me closer to keeping ye with me as my wife Sassenach?” I touched his face feeling like my heart would burst. “Maybe, but it will surely prevent us from being torn apart.” He nodded and I told him the story of his leading the Highlanders to war against the British, his great accomplishments, his survival, and the devastating loss of his countrymen and the Highlander way of life. There were tears on his cheeks but I couldn’t stop, I had to finish this. I explained he would live as an outlaw after the war, living in hiding. “They will call you the Dunn Bonet until you arrange for your own capture to protect your family at Lallybroch. The Dunn Bonet is not heard from again.” I started to cry and Jaime held me close pushing his own tears back.

He rocked me silently until I stopped crying. “What year be this war Sassenach?” I let out a long sigh, “it’s called the uprising of 1745, fought on Culloden Moor and over in less than two hours. The Jacobites are slaughtered Jaime.” He gripped me tighter, and if you have found yer way to me permanently by then I leave ye alone in the wrong century. My God Sassenach, this fate must not come to pass. Thank ye Sassenach, by tellin me, ye just saved thousands of Highlanders, our language, dress, and clans. That is everything to me. I’ll no be leadin an army to slaughter. I need a whiskey, maybe two.”

Jaime drank his whiskey and I could see the wheels turning in his mind. I was surprised at how calmly he processed the truth of his future and the future of Scotland. It made me love him even more because I could trust him completely, no matter what we might face. We talked more about the horrible airport hours, flying across the ocean with Joe pressed against my shoulder and the fat man leering. I just kept talking giving him a chance to process. 

“Forgive me Sassenach, I think I drank the whiskey too fast and now I have a headache. I don’t want to miss a second of ye, but I will close my eyes for a minute. Come and lay with me love.” I will be right there, off to find the nature privy.” I absolutely loved being naked outside, knowing no one would see me, it was a complete joy. When I came back, Jaime’s gorgeous body lay unguarded on the bed with his forearm over his eyes. I looked at him and felt the damnable hunger that would not be sated. I put him in my mouth and did not move beside feeling him with my tongue. I heard him groan my name as his erection grew in my mouth. My tongue played with the tip and then I pushed him into my mouth to the back of my throat. “Jesus, lassie, come here, let me love ye.” I was so turned on by what was happening I didn’t want to stop. My mouth stroked him several more times until he physically lifted me to the bed. “Open ye legs lass, wider. Oh my God ye feel so good.” He sucked my nipples until I screamed his name and begged him to go faster. It is a sweet beating that makes my back arch, toes curl, eyes close, and mouth open to my moans. I hit a wall of pulsing release with Jaime coming right after me. 

He pulled me to him holding my head against his chest. “This willna come to pass lass. I will see it so with you at my side.” I looked up at his face, “what happened with Murtagh after I left?” Jamie smiled, “Ah, Murtagh figured it out as ye were walkin away. He decided ye were the wife of relatives visitin one of the tenants, ye wore trousers to sneak away to my bed.” He laughed. “His fists were ready for blows! So ashamed he was of what I had done to ye.” He looked at me with those beautiful eyes, “Murtagh is enchanted by ye, ken? It was me he meant to punish for your honor!” He kept laughing. In my heart, I hugged Murtagh completely. “I did not want to fight my godfather so I begged him to listen and listen he did. Then he hit me and stormed off.” My head jerked up “he what?!” Jaime was still laughing, “yea, who knows when he will show his sour face again. Its alright Sassenach, Murtagh is under yer spell, so are Ian and Jenny. They will fight to find a reason for yer presence that is anyone’s doin but yer own. Fear not love.”

I put my head on his chest absolutely Gob-smacked by his words. I could not speak so I just replayed his words in my mind trying to make them real. “Jaime…..” I felt his head lift to look at me, “lass?” I sighed, “we should get back before I have to leave. He pulled me into his embrace and whispered in my ear. “Stay with me lass, just lay in my arms and know I love ye. I’ll get the horses back as long as I can hold ye close for a while longer.” I wrapped my arms around his middle, “OK Jaime.” 

Jamie opened his eyes, it was after dark and he was alone. After three days of misery thinking he lost Claire, the future she had revealed to him, and the chaotic condition of his family, he decided to stay the night. There was enough wood, food, and whiskey to sustain his thinking through the night. He went outside to strip the tack from the horses. He hobbled them in the long grass so they could eat their fill. “Donas, don’t run off and make me come after ye. I’ve a lass and a future to think on so let me be ye wee devil. I think Brimstone has a wee crush on ye so don’t act like a stupid idiot. That mare is as special as the lass that rides her.”

Back at Lallybroch, Murtagh was telling a story that cost him a month’s wages. Ian and Jenny were spellbound by it. Claire bumped into her strange mattress in a strange room. Sat up and jumped out of bed. Today they would find Lallybroch and she couldn’t wait. 

“Are you really going to eat all those carbs Joe?” He looked at me wearily, “who made you captain crush my fun? We on vacation, right?” I rolled my eyes, “you can get as fat as you want once you make your money dumb ass, for now, you need oatmeal and a bran muffin.” Joe leveled a look at me, “hold up princess, you take away my carbs, call me names, stuff bran in my mouth, without butter or honey, and drag me around the countryside looking for your old-ass boyfriend. Pet you suck.” I pulled his ear to me, “I love you like no other but you have enough shows booked for the next fashion week to make a dent in US deficit. It’s showtime my friend, the end of the torment is close. Four months from now you will test out of your first year of classes and be in line for the intern program. Tell me you don’t want it Joe and I will leave you be.” I heard the fork hit the plate as Joe stood up, “c’mon then, time to take a ride to Lollypolusa.”

Fiona drew a rudimentary map to Lallybroch and handed me a picnic lunch. “In case it takes a time for ye to find what yer looking for.” My gratitude to her was overwhelming. I took the basket and hugged her tight. I looked at a sour Joe, “ready?”


	21. Finding Lallybroch

Murtagh ducked his head under the tangled web of vines and bushes. A thorn scraped his arm and cut through his shirt, "Ifrinn!” He pressed on looking for the hut of Lallybroch’s famous sorceress. She was well known and avoided because gossip shapes a monster before you ever chance upon it. He was driven, at any cost, to exonerate Claire and hold all others responsible for her presence at Lallybroch, even his godson if need be. Did she run from a husband each day to be with Jamie? He felt her innocence in his bones and her remarkable beauty would be coveted by kings and commoners alike. She was far from safe and his fears came to the forefront when he found her lost in the wood. He peered ahead trying to decide if he saw a door or a window.

Murtagh banged on the door, “in the name of the laird” he called. Nothing. He tried the door handle and it was not locked. He twisted and pulled but the door but it slammed shut. “What the fuck?” He rolled his eyes realizing what was pulling the door closed- a person! He leaned against the door, “mistress I’ve been sent by yer laird to ask a question. I want nothin from ye but an answer. Please open the door to me then.” He waited. Five minutes is an eternity when you’re waiting for a door to open. “I’ll be back with the lairds' militia to burn ye hovel to the ground ye old witch.”

Murtagh turned in disgust and heard the creaking of wood. He stopped in his tracks and turned around. The door was open! He felt quivering in his gut and spat a Gaelic profanity and then crossed himself. He would enter a dragon's lair to save Claire and Jaime, this couldn’t be worse. It took some time for his eyes to adjust to the dark. “What brings ye here Murtagh?” He was slightly unnerved by the use of his name. He stood up straight and shook off the fear. “I’ve come for information and coin to pay fer it.” 

He stood in place waiting for his eyes to adjust to the dark. Her form could be seen in outline first, he knew she was seated not a foot in front of him. He waited. “Sit Murtagh,” a chair was kicked toward him. He sat down. “What you seek is carried by the winds of time. So sacred it is, I cannot bend its message. It will cost you to hear it.” Her voice was silky and low. Murtagh felt his genitals stir and snorted at the improbability. “Spare me ye tricks ye old witch. I dinna come for a hard cock.” He lashed out at the form, felt flesh, and pulled it to him. Female or not, he was not to be played with today. He almost choked her as he pulled her to him. His hand grabbed her neck. So soft. He slid his hand down to her collar bone. Young, soft, feminine. “What tricks do ye play witch?” 

He felt her arm jerk to the side and the hovel illuminated around her. Murtagh gasped looking into intense lavender eyes, a long slim nose, and pillow lips of red stain. Her blonde hair was full and hung to her waist, Her dress was black, deeply plunging to expose half the orbs of her breast. He grabbed her waist and pushed her away from him. “Ye think ye can bewitch me with your spells?” He snickered with menace. “No” her voice was like melted butter in his ear. “But if it works for you… well.” Murtagh was getting annoyed and kicked the table drawing a gasp from the witch. I have money. I pay for your information. If I think yer lyin to me I will cut yer throat.” He released her and sat back in his chair, willing his body to return to the hibernation of the last twenty-five years. 

Murtagh suddenly felt his folly. Trying to find answers for Claire’s presence that would exonerate her from being naught but an adulteress. He sighed heavily and looked across the table at the vision in front of him. He flicked a coin onto the table. She pulled it to her. “The woman is an innocent in love, pulled to him by a promise made on another world.” Murtagh was feeling like he could not breathe. He flicked another coin on the table. “He is an innocent, he draws her to him to fulfill a promise.” Murtagh flicked another coin on the table and stared into the witches eyes. “They will die with the taste of the other on their lips, and a separation of two hundred years will leave them withered on the vine.” Murtagh stood up knocking the chair backward, “no!” he roared. “Time is not that cruel witch. There must be a way to help them!” 

The witch was silent. Her full lips were turned up slightly. She looked at Murtagh like he was a meal that she was hungry for. He flicked another coin on the table. She was silent. He flicked another, and another. “Tell me, witch, there is no more.” She stood and walked around the table to stand inches in front of him. She kissed him and held his cheek. “You are an honorable man Murtagh. You have served those in your charge well. The woman you have loved for the ages sees all you do. She is beside you in your sleep. She loves your heart.” Murtagh tried hard to spit a Gaelic curse at the witch but was frozen in place by her words. 

“There is only one person who can save the lovers from a cruel fate. Find him in Paris. His time is short. He will be a willing trade for Claire. The centuries are selfish. There must be a trade of souls between this world and hers.” Murtagh was spellbound by the words of the witch. He stared at her and watched her hair darken to the color of spun copper, her arms held him as her eyes became a brilliant blue. She smiled so brightly at him. He touched her cheek, “Ellen.” She was looking at him with so much love it brought a tear to his eye. He blinked it away so he could see her clearly. “Your protection and love have raised my son to be an honorable man. I am grateful. Help him see his promise to fruition Murtagh. Please, find Master Raymond in Paris, he holds the key to Claire's survival. “Ellen!” he held her close. “I am with you Murtagh. In the spring, I am the lovely scent you breathe. In the summer, I am the shadow that follows you. In winter, I lay beside you and hold you warm. I am here, always. Ellen’s features dissolved and the witch stood before him. Murtagh pushed her away violently and left the hovel.

He walked away back into the wood smiling like a freak. He pulled his plaid to his nose and breathed Ellen’s scent. He had seen his love, he knew it. He was the happiest man he’s ever been or ever would be. His mind cleared as he neared the house. There were truth’s to be told and fears to dampen. It would be his finest oration because he smelled his love and she would help him.

He looked at Jenny in the parlor, knitting with fury, tears streaking down her cheeks. He looked at Ian, staring into the distance with his hurt heart on his sleeve. “It is their destiny to be together ye ken?” They both looked up at his glowing face. “Christ Murtagh, what’s happened to ye?” Jenny’s face turned to stone and she looked at her knitting to avoid feeling hurt by literally everything. “Jenny, the hurt ye feel is yer love for Claire and yer brother. Yer emotions are at war with a truth ye canna believe. Yer mam says she is with ye in the deep night when ye miss her. She holds ye in these times and sings yer favorite lullaby. Ye feel her touch and she wants you to believe she is here, always, lookin after ye.” 

Jenny’s eyes were gushing. She asked Murtagh what the devil was wrong with him, but inside, she felt the truth of his words. She ran upstairs sobbing and threw herself on the bed. “Mam, I miss ye fiercely!” she felt a warm comforting hand on her back and in her mind, her mother humming. 

Ian stood in front of Murtagh. “I don’t know what has bedeviled ye but that is enough nonsense for tonight.” Murtagh looked Ian in the eye, “she thanks ye and watches over ye too.” Ian could not move his eyes from Murtagh. “Whatever happened to ye tonight I wish ye well and hope ye come to ye senses soon.” He turned to the staircase and looked back shaking his head. When he opened his bedroom door he froze at the sight in front of him. His wife was wearing some kind of garment that stopped two inches above her stockings. He had never seen his dove so lovely, so sexy. Her hair flowed around her face making her look like a teenager. He wanted to hold her so much it hurt him inside. “Do ye love me dove?” She held her hand out to him, “always and forever.” Ian crossed the room and held her in the softest garment ever felt.

Murtagh banked the fire and extinguished the lamps. When he laid down in his cold room he felt her warmth pressing against him. He needed to find Jaime and steer him toward Paris, but that could wait until morn. He smiled all night in his sleep.

We have been crisscrossing the countryside, off-road, for over an hour. The jeep is a beast giving Joe the time of his life. Each time I start to reel him in, the look of pure joy on his face stops me. It's not an unenjoyable ride actually, the Scottish Highlands are beautiful, the sun is out, It won't kill me to relax for 30 minutes. I put my head back and face to the sun and closed my eyes. “Does that look familiar pet?” I lifted my head and looked at Lallybroch. My body was shaking so hard I could barely grip the door handle. I tumbled out of the jeep and fell to my knees. Joe lifted me to my feet. “This should be it,” he said. I could not speak. The image before me was unmistakably Lallybroch but it looked so different. The main house was covered ten feet up in dead vines and bramble bushes. They were black in death and clutched the structure as if fending off the living from this place. The barn was gone, the tower was a pile of rubble. Tears flowed freely as I struggled to breathe. “Oh my God, what’s happened here?” I looked at the hill leading up to the wood. There were deep gouges in the earth and remnants of equipment made of wood and iron lay scattered in decay. I started running for the house. Jaime! I was screaming in my head.

I found the steps to the kitchen by pulling the thorny bushes away from the building. Joe pulled me away from my mission and shook my shoulders. “Claire! Your arms are covered in blood! I need you to talk to me and I will help you!” I dropped to my knees sobbing, holding my stomach. My body rocked back and forth in my misery. I was inconsolable. I saw Joe’s face in front of me and he called me Claire for the first time in two years. He held my cheeks and made me look in his eyes. Will you show me the wood where Jaime waits for you?” I nodded and started for the hill as if I would see him there. I could see my tree in the distance and it was at least fifty feet high branching out in every direction. “Here,” I said. I wrapped my arms around the tree and felt a reprieve from the pain so I gripped it harder. Joe watched me and stood back a few feet. “What is happening pet?” I pressed my face to the sharp bark and smiled as memories of each morning flooded my mind. I saw Jaime running toward me with a brilliant smile. I saw him clutch me to his chest and walk back the house, I saw tarps he strung to keep my dry and the sled we flew down the hill on. I did not want to let go because somehow I felt Jaime here. 

“Let’s go back pet. We can come back tomorrow. Claire, will you do as I ask for the next ten minutes please?” I just smiled and shook my head. “We are walking that way until we see the jeep. We can climb down the hill over there. OK?” I nodded. It felt like I was holding Jaime and I didn’t want to let go but felt Joe pulling me away. We walked along the ridge and slid down the hill on our backside. Joe grabbed my hand and ran to the jeep making a game of it. He nearly lifted me in the jeep and shouted that he saw a bear behind us. “Oh my God! Where is it Joe?” The jeep whipped around as I looked into the wood for the bear. Joe was driving very fast and laughing as we hit potholes that bounced us around. When I remembered Lallybroch I looked back but we were too far away. We would come back tomorrow I reasoned and enjoyed the ride back to Fiona’s. 

Joe’s mind was in turmoil and he was very afraid for Claire. He never believed there was a Lallybroch, or a Jamie Fraser, or a hill leading to a wood with Claire’s tree. He was shocked by this discovery and terrified by Claire’s response to seeing it in ruins. Did she not realize that upon waking in 2018 Jaime Fraser had been dead at least 250 years? He forced himself to think. The supernatural had no place in Joe’s existence, it was a weakness of the ignorant. Something was happening to Claire and he would have to play along if he was going to help her. He would distract Claire or coax her into a nap, then find Fiona for a serious talk. 

The trip back felt like a surreal dream where as long as I was smiling the world was in color. When my thoughts snuck up on Lallybroch I saw black and white. I was losing my grip on sanity I feared but that thought made the colors disappear. I was scared inside and suddenly I wanted the distractions and noise of home. When we walked through the door of Fiona’s I made a beeline for my room and complained of fatigue to Joe. I just wanted to close my door and be alone. 

“May I speak with you please?” Fiona’s eyes looked up at Joe’s face. “Of course Joe!” They sat at the dining table for privacy and Joe explained what was happening to his friend, how he worried for her sanity and did not want her going back to Lallybroch. Fiona nodded her head as she listened, asking questions now and then. She patted his hand and her eyes were shining with love. “Joe, I have a silly game to play, it will make ye feel better and give ye some answers, ye ken?” Joe agreed reluctantly. “Now, sit back and close yer eyes, think about yer future Christmas five years from now. When ye have the image in yer mind nod yer head.” He nodded. “See yer graduation party for finishin medical school. See any holiday ye choose ten years from now.” Joe nodded. “Open yer eyes Joe and tell me if Claire was in the image ye saw for all those times.” Joe looked in Fiona’s eyes, a tear was brimming, he nodded yes. “I see. Joe, yer future will unfold as it was written at yer birth. Claire’s fate is not so certain and the harder ye hold onto her the sicker she will get.” 

“I don’t understand what I can do to help her Fiona.” With so much compassion she said, “accept her world, even if ye don’t believe in such things and let her talk about her true feelings. She will feel understood and cared for by someone in this world. Help her make a choice Joe. It is the greatest gift ye can give your dear friend.” Joe was incredulous. Fiona stood and rushed to meet her newest guests. Feeling deflated and without an ally, he walked to his room to call Baritone.


	22. Claire saves Lallybroch

I sat on my bed and tried to understand my reaction to seeing Lallybroch. I suppose I did not account for the ravages of 250 years and the generations of people who inhabited the estate after Jaime..... died. Fiona said it was owned by the bank and for sale. I saw the For Sale sign on the property and memorized the company name. I threw it into google to get the phone number and address. The listing agent was happy to see me right away. I called for an UBER driver.

I entered the real estate office and was soon sitting with the listing agent of Lallybroch, Brent Graham. I learned the estate had been for sale for almost three years. It was one of hundreds owned by the bank and neglected. The last family to live there were Grants who owned a bordering property and lost them both. I was only somewhat interested. “What is the price, and how many acres does that include. Ah, also, does that include the wood on the east side?”

He looked at the file, “It’s fifty acres, ten of which are the east ridge of the wood. There is a good well, and plumbing upgrades to the house. Ahhh, looks like it was built by the Grant family mid-eighteen hundreds. The antiques in the home do not convey as they are the property of the Grants. The bank is asking two million.”

“One more property I like is closer to Edinburgh but there are no roads, only your for sale sign. It has a line of large trees and no structures that I could see. The sign said seventy acres.” The agent pulled another file from the cabinet and studied the listing contract. “Well, that property has no well or amenities of any kind. The price is one-hundred and fourteen thousand. If you want we could take a drive out to the properties.” I was adding up numbers and subtracting for devaluation. Here goes.

“I would like to make an offer on Lallybroch. Please inform the bank I am offering three hundred seventy thousand as is.” The agent’s mouth was snarling. A very unattractive look I might add. “The asking price is two million miss Beauchamp.” I sat back in my chair and studied him. “A better property, one that is close to Edinburgh and has no structure liability set the per acre price at $2,000. It appears half the acreage is productive at this time to defer the cost of development. The structures on Lallybroch are not assets but liabilities. It will require another fifty to seventy-five thousand to haul away the crumbling structures. There is no production value established as it has not seen seed for decades. The house was constructed in 1708 by Brian Fraser, the Laird, so it is almost one hundred and fifty years older than you have attested to. The antiques will convey and I will find any Grant pieces and set them out to be picked up. 

He leveled a withering look at me but I was unaffected. “Let’s get ye prequalified shall we? The bank will no take any offer seriously without that.” He pulled a few papers from a drawer and passed a pen over the desk. I stood up and walked to his side of the desk so he had to look up at me. “I was not clear, sorry, I am paying cash for the property, as is. I am late to meet a friend and I don’t trust you to submit my offer so please call the bank or I will go there myself.” Back at my chair I wrote a check for seventy-thousand dollars and handed it to the agent. His smile was wicked when he called the office manager and requested she verify funds immediately. He leveled a gaze at me smiling like the cat who ate the canary. “I decided he wasn’t worth the effort to torture and stood up. “I will be back in 30 minutes.”

A mere seventeen hours from now Lallybroch will be under my protection. I decided to wait until there was no way to turn back from the sale before telling Joe. I bought a beautiful vase at one of the shops and returned to the real estate office. We would meet at ten o’clock tomorrow to sign papers. 

I want the keys now please and maybe a recommendation for a service who can pull the dead vegetation from the house. He handed me a card for a tractor hauling company but no keys. He wanted to win at something in this negotiation. So be it. “Miss Beauchamp, why do you look so familiar? It's driving me crazy.” I looked at the photo on his desk of a pretty, high maintenance wife. Your wife’s magazines, Vogue, and Vanity Fair. I’m on the cover this month. 

Fiona looked at me critically when I returned, “Claire are ye well? You look dead on yer feet lass. I can bring soup and sour bread to yer room so ye can rest.” “Thank you Fiona, I am exhausted.” Joe was deep in conversation with a couple. I blew him a kiss and mimed I was taking a nap. He nodded. As promised, Fiona brought a tray of food to my room. She said not a word about my sweater, boots and thick leggings, even the coat, and gloves laid out to don before sleeping. I cursed myself for getting caught in these clothes. The soup was like a sleeping pill and I was fighting to keep my eyes open. I laid back to rest and thought about where I might wake up. I tried to panic myself awake but it was too late.

I opened my eyes in the pitch dark of night. I forced myself to remain calm because I was not at my tree nor was it morning in Jaime’s time. Just a half moon hung above me. Not enough light to see but a foot ahead of me. I heard a horse blowing out his nose and froze listening. Two horses nearby chomping on grass. I could hear the hobbling straps snap when they moved. I took a chance..”Donus? I heard a soft whinny and the shake of a head. I followed the sound praying I would walk right into the cottage. What I walked into was the black hide of Donus who didn’t seem to mind as his head whipped around to rub on my thigh. I kissed Brimstone on the nose. “Either of you know how to find the cottage?” Both heads dropped back to the grass. I did not venture far because I didn’t want to lose the horses. If need be I would stay with them until Jaime woke up. I wondered why he was still here. I felt gravel under my feet and smiled knowing I was within feet of the cottage now. Feeling with my hands I found the door and walked into pitch darkness. I finally found a candle and got it lit, amazed I had not woken Jaime with my fumbling around. 

I set the candle down on the table and backed up into a living person who’s arms encircled me like steal bands locked in position. One hand came up to my jaw and held it straight, eyes in front of me. “I heard ye kiss Brimstone and then bump into every object in yer path. It was very tempting to hurry ye along but I reasoned it better for yer self-esteem to let ye sneak up on me. What were yer intentions Sassenach?” He pushed my head to my shoulder and seized my neck, to suck, to bite and to lick from collar bone to ear. I felt my boots come off and my pants pushed down so that my legs were locked when he released me to lift my sweater off. He pulled me into his lap. “Get them off, mo leannan.” I kicked my feet until the leggings were on the floor. I felt like his prisoner and when his hands started caressing me I moaned his name. Tell me everything in your heart Sassenach.” He pulled my hair to his chest and held me there while his fingers explored my secret places. 

“My heart and soul are yours, Ah! I am a slave to your pleasure because I love only you. Oooo, please Jaime.” He twisted my hair painfully and spun me toward him as he sat against the table top. He forced my head to his groin and told me to hold my hands behind my back. I did as told but this pseudo brutality was so erotic I could barely stand. He pulled my hair to the side so he could see my mouth slide up and down. “Sweet Jesus…” He lifted my mouth to his and kissed me breathless. Lifting me into his arms he laid me on his bed and held my hands above my head. He licked and kissed, sucked and flicked my nipples until I was losing my mind. “Jaime, … please… don’t tease me anymore…” Gasping for breath he asked “who is yer master? Where is yer place lass?” He drove himself deep into me and I screamed with a shattering climax. Jaime was kissing my face and rubbing my arms. He was no longer in me. I opened my eyes in question. He pulled me into him, “I want to wait for my sneakin lassie to rest a bit. Would ye like to see the sunrise mo chridhe?” My eyes lit up and he pulled the blanket around me and carried me outside. We sat on a stone wall and shared the blanket. There were shooting stars everywhere and a billion diamonds sparkled in the sky.

“Why are you here still here?” I could not see much of his face in the dark. “I would rather be here thinkin of my dearest love than take part in the chaos at home.” I brought my hands up to his face and he pressed his forehead against mine. “I have news of the future. Would you like to hear it?” He pulled me onto his lap. “Aye Sassenach,” I explained how Joe and I found Lallybroch in ruins and that I bought the property to protect it. “How did my family lose it?”I told him I didn’t know. 

He seemed burdened by the news and slipped out from under me. He lifted me up and my legs went around his middle. He was silent and I wouldn’t push him right now. “Lay back mo chridhe.” I felt the cold stone on my back and then Jaime pushing into me. It was the first time his heart was hidden while making love. Afterward, he carried me into the bed and stoked the fire. When he curled into me he was quiet. I waited for him but he did not speak. I turned around facing him and stroked his arm. “I have upset you, I am sorry Jaime.” His kiss was a promise that he loved me like no other.

“Sassenach, I fear for your mind knowin such that you do. Please, dinna look for any more information about me or the family. I need yer promise you will not seek or hear anymore about what’s to become of us.” His eyes were deep pools of love and worry. I promised him.

We dressed, banked the fire, and headed back to Lallybroch. Jaime was not locked in his head anymore and pointed out wildlife grazing and places they would play as children. It was a spectacular day in the Highlands. We heard a rider coming toward us and soon saw Murtagh heading in our direction. 

Jaime waved “Murtagh! What’s got her hide up so early?” He got off his horse, tied it to a tree and walked into the wood. His hand came up above his shoulder beckoning us to follow. We dismounted and followed him to a group of large rocks where we all sat. Murtagh had a strange look on his face and he regarded me at length until I was uncomfortable. “Murtagh, what is it?” Jaime felt my discomfort. 

He looked at us like the next thing he spoke would change the world as we knew it. And it did. “The story I heard yesterday made my head spin. I’ve never known ye to lie to me Jaime so it had to be true but I couldn’t see my way to believin such a thing. I went lookin for answers, to the witch. He told us everything and at the end gave Jaime a message from Ellen. “She’s so proud of ye son and she is always right beside ye and yer sister. Jaime had the look of wonder and tears filled his eyes. 

Murtagh shook his head. “Now, we make sail for Paris, ah?” He slapped his thigh and his face lit up in a smile. “Are ye well Murtagh?” Jaime looked at his godfather like he was possessed. “Never better laddie,” he headed for his horse. Jaime and I were both lost in our thoughts on the way back to Lallybroch. 

I felt trepidation walking toward the house. My last encounter with Jenny had not ended well and she was as stubborn as her brother. Approaching the kitchen the dead bramble bushes flashed on and off in my memory. I shivered. I Found Jenny in the parlor. She dropped her mending and ran to me hugging me and talking too fast to understand. “Come sit, I know there is somethin of magic happenin to ye and Jaime. I don’t understand it but I felt the hand of my mam last night. Like she was askin me to believe and be helpful.” There were tears on her cheeks and her eyes had the same strange light I saw in Murtagh. I was starting to understand what Ellen’s absence meant to this family and I mentally thanked her for intervening. I hugged Jenny and let her cry. 

Jaime had wandered into the wood deep in thought. His mind was full of his mother, remembering times she would kiss his wound or pull him on her lap in front of the fire. He pushed off the tree and froze watching movement of people ahead. He waited. Two of the Grant boys were hiding behind trees looking down at the house and grounds like they were looking for something in particular. 

Jaime made not a sound and was standing five feet behind them when he grabbed their collars and pulled them up. “What is yer pleasure this time gentlemen? Now is yer time to talk before I knock yer heads together.” They both started talking at once about the girl in the tight breeks with long black hair. “A fair lass, we just want to see her again.” Jaime noticed them both blushing and realized the Sassenach was dressed for scandal as her tight pants were like seeing her naked. They had become complacent about it which put Claire in danger. These two idiots were proof of that. “Get off my land.” The boys ran into the wood but kept looking behind themselves hoping for a quick glance at her. They had to make some changes right away.

Jaime strode into the parlor to see Claire watching Jenny mend socks. He felt his heart in his throat and stopped in his tracks to watch them. Claire had her own needle and threat and a torn sock. The love he felt for her made him ache inside when he wasn’t touching her. “Are ye well Jenny?” Two beautiful faces looked up at him and he felt like the luckiest man in the world. He sat next to Claire on the sofa and took her hand. “We need to turn ye into a skinny lad before trouble comes. Can ye help us Jenny fittin lad clothes on Claire?” Jenny looked at Claire's body and turned to the stairs. “Give me five minutes.”

I looked at Jaime wondering if he had bumped his head. He explained the Grant boys trying to see me in my tight clothes and long hair. I looked down at my bulky sweater and boots. Jenny came down with a pile of clothing that was stored in the attic. Clothing was a resource to be saved or passed on and these remained from Willie I gathered. She handed me breeks, and a shirt and ordered me upstairs to try them on. “Ye’ll be needin help Sassenach so I’ll join ye.” Jaime was off the sofa in a shot taking the stairs two at a time. Jenny rolled her eyes and picked up her mending. 

I walked into Jaime’s room to find him naked on the bed with a smile. Through my giggles, I asked why he had removed his clothes. “I like being naked Sassenach, don’t ye?” I was captured by the look of him. I walked slowly to the foot of the bed and let my eyes roam his thighs, flat stomach, and huge chest. My mouth was open and I was breathing deeply. Jaime never took his eyes off of mine. I owe ye an apology for having my mind full when I loved ye this morning. I want to make it up to ye, and take my time but the way yer lookin at me Sassenach I may not be able to.”

In a blink, he was behind me whispering in my ear, “ye won’t be needing this sweater my love” and it was off. “Or this,” he breathed making me quiver. “Dance with me love” he danced me to the bed and pushed me back taking my boots off and then my leggings. 

I laid on the bed still staring at him. He pulled my panties off and then the bra was gone. “Let me love ye mo chridhe and then we’ll talk.”


	23. Yes

I laid in Jaime’s arms and he kissed me deeply before pulling away from my embrace suddenly. “Sassenach.” He got up and sat on the edge of the bed with his back to me. “I canna clear my mind and I’m tortured by it. I have to ask ye about the choice we talked about once. Do ye remember?” I looked at his eyes to gauge his mood and knew this was a serious question. “I remember Jaime. You said you would lay the choice at my feet.” “Yes mo chridhe, its time to ask ye; do ye want to live in my world with me permanently?” His question was soft and quiet but now the volume and tempo shot up like a nervous afterthought. “Now Claire, you will need a few days to think it over and I won’t push ye lass. In fact, lets set a time to talk next about this question, so ye’ll no feel pressured.” I was looking at his eyes while he talked. I could see the hope and fear flipping from one to the other about asking me. I asked my heart, did I love him enough, could I find happiness in my time without him, could I ever forget him? “Yes.” Jaime was animated while talking about a date for our next talk. “Yes.” We have an accord then, three days time and ye will tell me which…” Suddenly Jaime stopped talking and was frozen in place. He did not meet my eyes nor did he speak for a full minute. “What did ye say Sassenach?” he whispered. I jumped up and straddled him pushing my forehead to his. “I said yes, you great big beautiful scot! You are my love, and this is my family now. Jaime, there is nothing in 2018 that would heal my heart and soul if forced to live without you,” I choked out through my tears. He held me tightly and I could feel him shaking.“Sweet Jesus” he whispered. What have I done to deserve the life that now lays before me mo ghradh?” The way he looked at me filled me with love, gratitude, and certainty. “Murtagh’s witch said you were an honorable man who pulled me here to fulfill a promise. Do you believe in such things Jaime?” He smiled then. “One thing I’m sure of is the first time I touched ye, I remembered yer body.” I hugged him as tightly as I could. 

“Claire, one more question I must ask ye.” I felt my smile and the happiness blooming in me. “Anything Jaime.” He took a deep breath, “will ye hand fast to me Claire?” “Yes, I will! What is handfast?” He explained the tradition through his giggling and I shook my head yes over and over again. He shot off the bed holding me in a bear hug, my feet no longer on the ground. We must find Jenny. Thank….kiss, kiss, kiss…ye…kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss…mo ghradh. I was laughing, squirming, and fighting for a breath. “No, no!” He looked confused when I pulled him back into the room. “We’re naked Jaime.” He looked mortified, “sorry lass.” He held me close and kissed me so tenderly I wept. “I will make ye happy my lassie.” 

I grabbed my clothes and Jaime put his hand on my arm pushing the clothes to the bed. He handed me the lad costume with the other hand looking apologetic. “Sorry mo chridhe, it's for yer protection.” I could tell he felt awful about my wearing clothes of a stable hand so I tried to be brave and not fuss too much. He handed me stockings and a hat that slid down to my nose blinding me. “If ye put yer hair up in the hat it will fit better.” I bent over, stuffing my hair into the hat and heard Jaime’s breath catch. I stood up looking for him and heard him walking behind me. “Sweet Jesus yer so beautiful, even when we try to make ye ugly like a lad. There was a shift in the tension between us, and the sound of his voice raised the hair on my neck. “Those breeks are holdin yer arse so tight I’m jealous. Get them off.” I was aware of his body behind me, I could feel his heat. “Should we go find Jenny then?” I took a step toward the door and he blocked me. Up against his chest, I heard him breathe “not yet.” I took a step back, and then he was behind me, running his hands up my arms, one hand wrapped around my throat. I turned toward him and he was inches from my face. My heart was racing as he pulled my jaw up to him and kissed me deeply pulling me close so I could feel his erection.

It was hard to breathe being so close to him so I pushed him away and took a deep breath. He walked behind me, circling me like a prowling cat. I felt his hand on my arse and jumped away. He followed me, head bent, looking at my lips. “Yer breasts bounce in that shirt Sassenach, that will make the Grant boys come in their breeks,” he whispered. I walked backward as he watched my hips grind against the tight fabric. He walked me into the wall and I was trapped. I felt his warm breath on my face and his hands sliding up my everything. This erotic adventure was tipping the heat scales and I wondered if Jaime was really in control. The thought he might not be thrilled me to the core. I moved sideways to get away from him and gain some perspective. His arm shot out and pulled me to him. His head was lowered and his lips were an inch from mine. My heart was beating so fast I considered stopping this game to prevent my heart attack. I felt his hand coming up my body pinching my nipple harshly. “Ah! God Jaime!” He growled in my ear, “ye know what I want my beauty, give it to me.” I moved away from him quickly and saw him lean against the wall, forehead to fist breathing hard. 

“Sassenach, tis a dangerous game ye play. Lay your sweet body on the bed, willing and quiet. Get every stitch off of ye lass.” His look was a smoldering promise of action and I could feel him holding himself back. “No.” I ran my hand down my chest cupping my breast and pinching my nipple. A sharp intake of breath from me that was real and Jaime felt it. He was staring at my fingers pinching my nipple as he walked toward me. “Do ye know what I’m gonna do to ye lass?” I looked in his eyes and pinched harder pulling a sharp moan from my mouth. In seconds he was in front of me. I heard and felt his panting and I thought I might come before he touched me. My hand slowly inched down my stomach and my eyes closed in anticipation of my finger. 

I felt him rip my shirt down the middle and my eyes flew open. He seized a nipple in his mouth and sucked sharply until I screamed. His hand came to my mouth replaced by his lips. Soft at first, he ran his hands over every inch of me. His tongue claimed me in a breathless kiss and he held my hands behind my back. He towered over me looking like a starving tiger. “Take me then.” He pushed me back on the bed peeling the breeks and stockings off and pushing my legs open. I felt his head seize me between my legs and I cried out. My arms were held by powerful hands as he licked me to the brink and stopped. I tried to crawl away and catch my breath. He growled and pulled my hips back to his mouth. He pushed his tongue deep inside me and I begged, he licked me viciously and I pleaded. I knew he intended to shoot me to the angels on a rocket and all I could do is hold on. A glimpse of his eyes told me the beast was among us. My back arched like my life depended on it and I pulled his head tighter to me. He stopped. I pushed my body toward him, “please, lick me and don’t stop,” I begged. His mouth came around my throbbing and he sucked while he thrust two fingers into me. I was hurled into the chaos of the blissful explosion, back arched moaning his name. Before I hit the earth again he spun me face down and pulled my pelvis up against him. His erection pierced my fog and I was suddenly back in his bed with a demanding beast behind me. 

He rammed me over and over and then slipped an arm around my chest and lifted me up against him. “Open yer legs mo chridhe,” he whispered. Then he pushed up into me with a moan. “Sorry lass, I canna be gentle w’ye.” He reached through my arms to hold my shoulders down and then thrust upwards over and over. One hand came down to touch my heat and my climax gripped him hard. “Jesus lass!” I felt him explode inside of me as he pushed up against my cervix with a loud release. We collapsed gasping for breath and holding onto each other. 

I was in the heavens thanking a God I didn’t know for the blessing of true love. Jaime held me tight, “are ye well Sassenach?” I sighed deeply, “you will need a much bigger word to describe how I am, husband to be.”

With another shirt from an eye-rolling Jenny, I made my way downstairs and stood before her and Ian. “Well… can ye see anything lass?” I pushed the brim of the hat up to see Ian, failing utterly, to control himself. He grunted as Jenny elbowed him hard in the ribs. I became alarmed at Ian’s face turning red by holding in his laughter. “Ian, breathe!” I shouted. He turned around, bent at the waist and hands on knees trying to get control of himself. I rolled my eyes and looked at Jaime pathetically, “do I have to do this?” He looked me up and down, “Aye, lad, I meant lass!” This set both Jaime and Ian into dissolving giggles that forced them outside to gain control. 

I sat on the sofa with my head down feeling unfeminine for the first time in my life. It hurt my feelings and I was unused to that as well. I wondered how I would fit in here if I couldn’t take a little joking. Jenny wrapped her arms around me and rocked. “Dinna let them grown up boys make ye feel off Claire. This willna last so long and hopefully, ye will return from Paris as Jaime’s wife and never have to leave again. Of course, after that, it will be corsets and stays, triple skirts and bum rolls. But ye’ll get used to it, and when night falls Jaime will help release yer body in an intimate ritual between man and wife. He will start thinkin about it in the afternoon when he’s out in the fields, seein yer laces pulled out and the corset fall away. If he ponders too long then dinner and prayers will be a struggle.” We giggled. Jenny looked at me, “lass, life here is about pullin your survival out of the dirt with each harvest, workin hard for twelve hours each day, and lookin forward to bein with yer man for the twelve hour night. It’s a beautiful life when ye can share it with yer love and family.”

“I have to tell ye Claire, I can feel a shift around me each day, and five minutes later you walk through the door… or crash the sled into the house. If I can feel the air get happier imagine what Jaime feels with his heart beatin double for ye. I will confess that I was fearin ye at first and counseled Jaime against ye. I’m sorry Claire.” Jenny looked toward the fire, “and then I saw ye laying on Jaime the night we almost lost ye. Yer face pressed against his neck, yer hand on the other cheek. Such an intimate embrace even in sleep. That moment changed my heart and yer like a sister to me now. Ian says Jaime loved ye back to the living.” She smiled and picked up her knitting. I was overcome with emotion. I wanted to cry my eyes out and didn’t know why. 

“Jenny… Jaime wants to handfast before we leave for Paris and asked me to marry him if I can stay in this world. Neither of us wants to talk about if I can’t.” Jenny’s eyes lit up and she pulled me up running for the stairs. “Well, it won’t be in that,” she said laughing. She threw open the trunk in Jaime’s room pulling armfuls of garments and under things out to set on the bed. Then I heard her breath catch. She pulled out a black velvet dress with ivory embroidery covering the front and back of the skirt, framing the bodice, and elbow cuffs of the sleeves. She stood on Jaime’s bed and held the dress so I could see it all. I touched the most beautiful dress I had ever seen. Jenny was giggling and jumping on the bed. “I can see by yer face that ye love it Claire! It gets better!” She jumped off the bed and ran back to the trunk pulling out a lace skirt in pure white. She pulled the lace up under the black velvet and it took my breath away. The embroidered velvet was scalloped at the bottom showing eight to ten inches of the lace under scallops. I looked up at her face and she jumped up and down and then hugged me. “Ye’ll be beautiful in it Claire. Put it on quick before Jaime barges in here and I’ll alter it for a perfect fit. We wrapped the garment conspiratorially and Jenny ran it to her room for later. I will put a bit of 2018 under it I decided.

We came downstairs to find Jaime and Ian contrite and apologizing. “I’m sorry lass. We had a go with ye and it mighta hurt yer feelings. I promise to take better care of my sister-in-law after this.” Ian’s smile was huge and he kissed me on the cheek. “I forgive you both.” I realized Jaime had disappeared. He came into the parlor with a bunch of carrots and I jumped up to follow him to the barn. Brimstone whinnied when she saw us and Donus kicked the gate that held him in. Jaime offered a carrot as did I, stroking Brimstone’s face and neck. Son of satan looked at us from his own stall and I gave him a pat and carrot as well. “What a warm, happy place this..”

My arm was extended in offering when I opened my eyes, falling to the bed with a “fuck!” from the mouth. I had no time for sullenness and depression today. I jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom shared by four rooms. Overjoyed to find it empty I hurried through my shower with a mental list growing in my mind. On the way back to my room I saw Joe coming toward me with two coffees. “Ah! Get in here Joe” pushing him lightly so I didn’t spill the coffee. I was jumping up and down brimming with news trying to gulp the fuel for my busy morning. 

“Wow, I’ll have two scoops of whatever you had this morning. Rosy cheeks, and happiness on a stick pet.” I know Joe better than I know myself and I could feel my contagious energy lifting his mood. “I have huge news Joe. First, I purchased Lallybroch, second..” Joe grabbed me and sat me down on the bed. He started pacing. “From the top Alice.” I had pulled off my towel and was shoving under things on and reaching for the only fancy dress I brought. I slipped it over my head and backed into Joe to zip it. I pushed my feet into high heels and looked at Joe who was regarding me through slits in his eyes. 

Don’t worry about me. I am in the here and now, 2018, and I just bought an estate in Scotland. It was home to an amazing family of historic importance. I know it’s in ruins Joe and I promise I will not freak out when we arrive there today. Yes… that is where we are going. After the realtor that is. Joe looked at me appreciatively and whistled softly. “Ok, give me a minute to peel off this hillbilly and call in the alter ego.” I was laughing at the reference to what I called the woman in the mirror before a show. I bent over and turned on my blow dryer. Today was so big that I wanted all the trimmings. I lined my eyes quickly, mascara, light brown shadow, powder that made my skin glow and red lipstick.

I knocked on Joe’s door and walked in. He was wearing Armani slacks and a shirt I didn’t recognize. I ran my hand up the sleeve and down the back noticing the incredible cut and hand stitching. “A very special gift,” he said. “Sorry babe, I was talking to the pet. Here..” he handed me the phone. “In my 1960”s secretary voice I asked, “would this be the beautiful Baritone?” Joe was laughing. “Hey! Claire, I miss you guys so bad and I have two weeks off, so I’m coming! Is that okay Claire?” I couldn’t keep up the silly secretary and held the phone close to my ear. “I cannot wait to hug you, sweetheart, change your flight to now and we will be waiting for you in the bar. I love you and I don’t like waiting so hurry!” I handed Joe the phone, “you can walk and talk dearest, I am late for a meeting.”

I managed to slide out of the Jeep and land on my Chanel heels like I did it for a living. I linked my arm in Joe’s and we strode into the real estate office. The office manager was talking to someone enthusiastically and just hung up the phone. She stood up staring at me, and then fixated on Joe. He regarded her like a chocolate Sunday and licked his lips. She was catatonic but pointed to a closed door. I knocked and a man in a three-piece suit opened and lost his banker composure for six seconds. Long enough for his eyes to see every curve. I removed my sunglasses and smiled at him holding out my hand. “Hello, I am Claire Beauchamp, and this is my dearest friend Joe. I hope we aren’t late gentlemen. The speechless banker stepped aside and opened the door. I walked in and five men jumped to their feet smiling. Joe held my chair and looked from one man to the other. This was more fun than I anticipated. 

I leaned forward exposing cleavage and a lace camel colored bra to match the dress. I felt a nipple pop through the lace and leaned farther forward. Keeping my eyes on the document I allowed ample time of exposure. I signed quickly and looked up smiling. “Gentlemen, I could not be happier! Two men had cell phones in their hands making some kind of arrangements. The first one said he had arranged for a tractor service to pull the vegetation away from the house on all sides. I smiled at him looking deep into his eyes, “thank you, sir.” The second man said he had hired a cleanup crew to remove the rubble and trash on the property, “at the bank's expense.” I stood and walked around the table to shake each of their hands. They were under my spell and I was sure each of the others would do their best to arrange a service that would be unforgettable. I locked gaze with the listing agent who sat staring. I walked slowly to him as he stood. “Brent, sweetheart, you have been the best.” I kissed him on the cheek leaving lip marks in red. “Do you have the keys?” He was not able to talk but he did pull keys from his pocket and hand them to me. I turned to leave seeing Joe looking at a certain banker. As soon as we turned toward the door he was smiling. Under his breath I heard, “oh my, that was quite a performance.”

We walked toward the door and my heels stopped in front of a pretty woman with too much makeup on and last year’s B-list off-the-rack that she spent half her husband's paycheck on. She looked up at me holding her breath and a big smile. I sat down next to her. “Are you Brent’s wife?” Still smiling, she nodded. “He was great and I am so appreciative for all he did to help me.” I leaned toward her and whispered, “and he’s easy on the eyes, right?” I stood and Joe offered his arm as we walked to the jeep. She was still staring at me smiling when we pulled away. There you go Brent, the best fuck of your life to make up for lost commission you hoped for.

“You are a wicked woman from your stilettos right up to your skin tight dress and swayin ass pet” I looked at him sharply. “I don’t know what you are alluding to Joe but I don’t like it one bit.” I looked to my right to hide my smiling red lips. “Ok, Scarlet. To Lallybroch then?” “Thank you dearest” I pulled my seatbelt to the click, “would you mind breaking land speed records? I am really in a hurry.”


	24. Betrayal Of A Best Friend

I was buckled into a brute of a jeep, in a skin-tight, silk Chanel dress, one of only six made and sold for twenty-four thousand each which I found hilarious. Mine was a gift along with the matching shoes. I could not wrap my head around value anymore, or even money for that matter. It no longer made sense in my life.

I looked at Joe, soon to disappear into the hallowed halls of some ivy league medical school. It filled me with happiness to know I would leave him a small fortune to see him through his long years of study, with enough left to finance any kind of practice he chose to launch. I loved him to the bone and I was leaving him forever, God willing. I am trading glamour, money, fame, hot water, toilets, and cars, for the most beautiful, brilliant blue eyes, strong body, and honorable mind, I could ever hope to marry. Not to mention the passion, and a verra wicked sled. I laughed and it jerked me awake. Joe was holding my legs on his lap. He turned to smile at me. I felt confused for a moment, “what?” His smile grew. “You made yourself comfortable so the least I could do is hold them up. We are almost there pet. Any transcendental meditation you care to do at this time?” I shot him an exasperated look, “I am the picture of Zen I’ll have you know. Look! There it is and it’s crawling with workman!” Joe lowered his sunglasses to look at me. “Really? Cleavage and a tight dress commands that kind of action? This is one fucked up world.”

Joe lifted me out of the jeep and we walked toward the house. He checked me every few seconds and glared at the whistles and catcalls. I opened the padlocked chains across the kitchen door and boldly entered the home where I would be married, have my children, live to old age with the love of my life. Today Lallybroch represented a life yet to come because of some miracle awaiting us in Paris. We wandered through the halls and rooms as I pointed out the significance of each. I was surprised that Joe listened and even asked me questions that I was thrilled to answer. As his questions continued I got more excited and realized how badly I needed Joe to share this part of the journey with me. “Let’s go upstairs. I need to show you something.”

The stairs creaked loudly under our feet and Joe suggested abandoning the second floor but I pushed on in my excitement. I made for Jaime’s room and felt a bit lightheaded when I entered. “Joe, thank God you believe me now! I want to show you a secret hiding place then we can count the boards so you never forget. Joe was quiet. I used my finger to count the boards on each wall and showed Joe.  
”Put your heel here, tight to the seam and then push down hard. Joe was still very quiet but he did as I asked. When he pushed, the other side of the board popped up and Joe looked startled. “Can you pull the board away please?” The papers were nearly unreadable from age but I could see Jaime’s name on some of them. I moved my finger across the name like I was touching him and smiled.

I looked for Joe. He was standing behind me with his hands in his pockets looking board. “Are you ready?” I watched him look at the broken furniture and trash all over the floor like he was going to catch a disease if it touched him. I was confused and pushed off the floor when I saw a glass bottle with a curled note inside. I almost thought it said Sassenach on it. I reached for it and pulled the cork dropping the note into my hand.  
My Dearest Sassenach,  
I am so happy ye are free of the crushing city. Ye must be somewhere here in the hills of the highlands, yer black hair flyin in the wind. I will see you such till the end of my days my love.  
Hello to ye Joe! I know ye love the fairest lassie my heart has ever known so ye must be with her! Take care of my dearest love.  
The human heart is stronger than anything is what my Mam told me. It can shatter and live on. I take comfort in this and I know my final words will be I love ye Sassenach.  
J.F.

I read the words of a broken heart and cried for him. Sobs gripped me for the pain he suffered during my three-day absence. “Oh my God, I am so sorry sweetheart,” I sobbed. “Don’t worry pet. It won’t be hard to fix this. C’mon, let’s get out of here.” Joe’s hand was held out to me but all I saw was a bomb ready to explode my 2018 life to pieces. “What?” He looked at me with sympathy, “There is no Jaime Fraser is there pet? The names on those papers is Grant, right? I stared at him in disbelief until the truth of it snapped into place. 

“Why the pretense Joe? What the fuck!?” I shouted at him. “You think I just had some sort of epiphany and suddenly realized this is all my imagination?” My eyes were spewing evidence of my betrayal. You came with me to Scotland expecting some kind of break down when faced with the truth of my delusion!” As the truth poured into my mind my heart cracked a little more. “Are there white coats waiting outside to put a straight jacket on me and stab me with Thorazine?” I was crying uncontrollably as I looked at him, and he looked at the ground. “You are a liar Joe and I hate you for it!” I grabbed my purse and shoved the note in his hand. “Here, Jaime left you a note, two hundred years ago.” I stormed out of the house in an avalanche of emotion. I needed to get away from my beacon of light, my true North, the one who loved me most in the world. My betrayer. 

I stumbled to the jeep and wondered how fast the rental place could bring me a key. I reached for my phone and my hand grasped the cold metal and jagged edge of the keys Joe asked me to hold. I buckled up and drove in the opposite direction having no idea where Edinburgh was. I stopped and cried for what seemed an eternity. I was completely exhausted and considered falling asleep right here so I could find Jaime’s arms around me in a few minutes. 

“Ma'am?” My head jerked up as a workman walked toward the Jeep. “I am headed back to Edinburgh and ye can follow me if yer lost.” He had cool gray eyes that looked so kind and a handsome smile. “Yes, thank you sir. I want to get back to Edinburgh.” He tipped his hat and ran back to his truck pulling around me to lead. He drove like a senior citizen so I had ample time to think, and pray that I could leave this world forever. I walked into the bed and breakfast with mascara streaks down my cheeks, a ripped dress, and shoes in my hand. I felt catatonic walking to my room and my irritation boiled over when my electronic key would not open my door. 

I felt Fiona’s arm reach around my waist. She was saying soothing words and pulled me to my door using the manager key to open it. She walked me to the bed and I laid on it. Lost in my thoughts I heard her call to the kitchen and order a tray of food. She fetched a wet towel and cleaned up my face, as a mother would. “There, that’s a bit better. What happened today lass?” I looked at her. “I’d rather not help anyone else think I’m crazy Fiona.”

“I know a bit about why yer here lass.” I looked up, “I seriously doubt it.”

“Ye been pulled to another place each night while ye sleep and ye in love with the bonny Dunn Bonet! She smiled with excitement. I was incredulous. “How could you possibly know that?” Her eyes crinkled at the corners, “Joe told me everything. He didna know how to help ye because he canna believe, and he canna let go of ye. If ye dinna mind I will speak freely lass and offer my help. Ye see I know about the journey you will take.” I sat up on the edge of the bed and never took my eyes off of her. “Go on please.”

“Only in folklore have I heard yer story. About a man’s sacrifice for his wife and unborn child. Traded his life, he did, for their safety, and sent them through the stones to the future from whence she came. Folk say he promised he would find the lass and vowed to spend two-hundred years in purgatory so they could be together again.” She never looked away from my eyes and never stopped smiling.

“Oh my God Fiona. Oh my God! You think that is me and Jaime is him? That is preposterous!” Her smile grew, “ye feel the truth lass. It’s ye man callin ye, just as he promised! The stones have called to a chosen few to keep the gates of time open for ye. I lead my druid sisters in ancient rituals each solstice as did my mam, and hers before her. The next ritual is on June 21st. That is when the stones will allow ye to pass through.” 

My head was reeling and I was feeling anxiety, happiness, and relief, all at once. “It’s that easy Fiona?” She looked at her hands, “no my dear, it is far from easy. Ye must find a soul willing to cross with ye from the other side to maintain the balance of the centuries. A willing soul Claire. Who chooses to take the risk with his immortal soul.” 

My relief dried up and blew away, my anxiety gnashed teeth at a cowering happiness. “And my immortal soul?” She patted my hand and thought for a moment. “Ye have help lass, more than ye can imagine. Ye have yer man pullin ye to him, a sacrifice and a promise made for a love that spans the ages. But ye walk into the stones alone, on faith that yer trade has also entered.” My heart was racing. “And if he or she doesn’t?” Fiona looked in my eyes, “then ye be lost forever, my dear.”

I stood up suddenly feeling like my head would explode. “Fiona, I need to let this alone for now, I just can’t process any more information. I closed my eyes and called Jaime to mind feeling his hands slide up my arms and kiss my neck. “I’m getting married tonight Fiona and I need a few things. Is there a proper shop nearby?”

My anger at Joe was waning and although I would never trust him again I didn’t want him to suffer. I couldn’t get through to Baritone so I started texting him bullet points hoping he would grasp the situation and help Joe. I parked in front of the bridal shop and called Jaime to mind. He was so solidly in my head I felt I might bump into him around every corner. I gave my credit card to the shop owner who promptly called two assistants to help assemble the exquisite pieces I would wear just for Jaime. Speeding back to the B and B I explained to Fiona that I left Joe at Lallybroch and his partner was arriving tonight. “Don’t ye worry lass. My son will lead him out to fetch Joe.” She picked up the phone. 

I filled a bath with Jaime’s favorite scent and eased down into the bubbles. I tried to clear my mind and relax. Joe would be doing my toenails about now. He would wash my hair and blow it into curls that fell down my back. He would stop me from wearing the wrong lipstick and give his seal of approval before pushing me out the door. Will Jenny and I do that for each other in the future? I pulled the razor up my legs and across every surface save a thin strip that only Jaime will see. I removed all the hair from between my legs. 

Back in my room, I blew my hair into fluffy curls. I covered my skin with Chanel body lotion and opened my packages on the bed. The corset laced up the back and I needed help with it. Fiona was very happy to help and seemed quite familiar with the laces. “There ye are dear. I want ye to know that Joe is here. My son went out to Lallybroch and found him sitting in the corner of a bedroom upstairs. On the way back he used the light of the glove box to read the same note over and over again.” Fiona looked quite concerned. “Do ye have any love in ye heart for this man Claire?” I closed my eyes, “yes, I do” I whispered. “Unburden yer heart lass, before ye sleep tonight so yer friend can stop wishin himself dead.” 

I sat on my bed thinking about the morning at Lallybroch and pulled all the hurt and anger back to the surface so I could really look at it. I tried to remember when he lied about believing my story. Were we still in New York, in the plane to Scotland, or maybe it here at the B&B? I kept searching my memory until a tear slid down my cheek. There is no memory of this event because it never happened. Joe came with me so I assumed, he took me to Lallybroch, so I assumed, he escorted me to the bank… I assumed. He didn’t think I was lying, he thought I was sick and he stayed by me to see me safe?

I let my emotions run the gamut and paced in my room. I knew Joe’s life story from being orphaned by his heroin-addicted mother to running dope with a street gang, to his life-changing encounter with Dr. Green. I could hear his words ‘Dr. Green saved me from dying on the street,’ Dr. Green gave me something to hope for, and strive for, and live for, and, and, and. I looked at my phone. Baritone would be here in thirty minutes. I put my robe on and walked to Joe’s room. I knocked until I was worried something happened to him. “Joe!” I shouted but heard nothing. I ran for the front desk with my garters and stocking tops showing under my robe but didn’t notice people staring at me or elbowing someone to look. Fiona was walking quickly in my direction, “what’s happened lass?” I stammered at her as she pulled me back down the hall. 

Joe’s door popped open three inches with her manager key. It was black as pitch inside and I heard nothing. My heart was in my throat when I pushed the door open. I saw him when a slice of light from the hall illuminated the deep corner of the room. He looked like a heap on the floor and I felt my head spinning with my racing heart. I gripped the door frame and heard my voice say “Joe” in the smallest voice. Then I heard him sniffle and my knees gave way. Fiona helped me up and ran a hand up my back for support. Suddenly I felt in violation of his imposed darkness. I slipped into the room and closed the door.

I knew my voice would shake but I spoke anyway.”I’m sorry my friend for making assumptions and yelling at you. I figured it out tonight and I understand now, every thought you have had and every action you have taken. I remembered you telling me about a night you were too drunk to make your runs and three other boys went in your place. But they died that night, shot by rivals to steal their load of heroin. Your load of heroin, right Joe?" I didn’t think he could hear me because I could barely hear myself. I took a step closer. "I remembered you tried to stop the bleeding from a botched home abortion but she bled out from a punctured artery." I took another step. "I remembered all of the stories, like Tyrone and Eddie beaten to death and found behind a dumpster, by you." My voice was shaking and I drew a deep breath. “I remembered the gun in your mouth and your own hand holding it." I took another step and I could hear him breathing. "I understand you wanted to stop the pain, stop hurting people." I could feel the heat of his body and knew I was right in front of him. I sat down on the floor.

“When Dr. Green asked you about how you could diagnose the illnesses of people in your neighborhood you ran away from him, didn’t you?” Nothing “He was like a god to you, wasn’t he? He coaxed you to talk to him after a time and the dark night ripped open you said, right Joe? He pulled you out of that dark world, didn’t he? He brought the light and showed you a future where you could use your beautiful mind and become something great. I know these things because you told me. He saved your life and invested himself in your future. He is your hero just like you are mine Joe.” I was crying because my friend was crucifying himself for believing what he was trained to believe. 

I found his hand and curled my fingers through his. “There is a rule in medicine that the supernatural does not exist. You believe this as strongly as I believe I am traveling two hundred years in the past every night. We have been one heart since we met on the yacht, until this. If there is no magic in the world then I had to be sick, it was the only answer, I see that now. You have been protecting me the only way I would let you." I felt a hand grip my arm and pull me to him. He held me against his chest and cried his eyes out. I just whispered to him, ‘I’m here, I love you, thank you, it’s not your fault, I forgive you, please forgive me, I understand, you have a beautiful mind and it survived, you will share it with the world, you will heal thousands with your medicine, and make people walk again, see again, and rejoin the living. I don’t know a more important person in the world than you Joe. My greatest sorrow is missing your accomplishments. When a man stands up from his wheelchair of ten years. Or a boy wakes from surgery and can hear his mother’s voice say I love you for the first time. When you see these miracles you perform you will believe in magic and think of me. I will be there Joe, cheering you on. I promise.”

I heard Fiona’s soft voice outside the door and then her knocking. “Baritone is here love and I am really missing him. Should we let the love of your life in?” I stood up and pulled Joe up with me. “Let him love you back to normal Joe. I have to go, I’m getting married tonight.” I used the stunned silence to reach the door and open it. Two stunned faces saw my corset, garters, stockings, and hair in my face. I hugged Baritone so tight and whispered, “he needs you love.” I looked at Fiona, “would you be so kind and let me into my room please. I don’t know where my robe went but hardly care at the moment.”

I washed my face and applied a luxurious powder that made my skin glow. I tucked my frilly things into my clothes and laid down in the dark. “Dear God of my loving parents, see my heart and return me to the man I love. Bless Joe with understanding and love. Amen. I thought about the stones… God, please make me fearless. Amen.


	25. Mortal Danger

My eyes opened to the dawn of a new day. I was thrilled to see I was under my tree and looked for Jaime. “Sassenach!” I looked in the direction of his voice but saw no one. “Stay there, I’m comin for ye.” I still couldn’t see him. I heard an ear piercing whistle above me and looked up at Jaime high in a tree. “Jesus H Roosevelt Christ Jaime! Be careful!” I was frozen watching him swing from branches, landing on lower limbs. It was calculated and graceful, I could not look away until he warned me to look down. I heard a thud next to me and looked up at his beautiful smile. Jaime gave two short whistles before he took me in his arms and kissed the world away. When he broke the kiss I heard a distant voice…”Sassenach, my love, open yer eyes.” I pouted, “no, he might kiss me again.” Jaime put his mouth to my ear, “one hundred kisses today love.” I looked into his crystal blue eyes smiling at me. 

There were short answering whistles from all directions and Jaime seemed to acknowledge each of them. I noticed thick black smoke coming from the barn, “Jesus, Jaime the barn is on fire!” He looked and smiled, “nay lass, that is Rabbie sending a signal for Jenny to get home because yer here.” He whistled another pattern into the air and heard the reply. “Let’s make for home lass, quick as ye can.” He took my hand and pulled me into a run toward the hill only to stop suddenly and push me behind him and up against a tree. He was breathing hard looking in all directions. I finally felt it. Mortal danger, I could smell it. “Christ Jaime, what is happening!” He crouched and pulled me down to the ground. I heard horses coming at a gallop from all directions and Jaime pressed me tighter against the tree. I heard Murtagh’s voice yelling for Jaime to run. He grabbed my hand and ran for the hill. He grabbed me to him lifting me against his chest and we slid down the hill. We hit the bottom running until Jaime suddenly stopped, his arms pushing me behind him. I thought I would pass out from fear and held onto his shirt. 

There was a man in front of every door, weapons gleaming in the sun. They were ugly, toothless men with greasy hair. They were all looking at me. What?! One man was leering at me. “Send her over and ye live another day Fraser.” Jaime stood straight and turned to me calling over his shoulder, “the lass is the love of my life, let me say goodbye!” The look in his eyes was ferocious and keeping me silent. “I have a favor to ask ye Sassenach. I am about to give you to these men and ye will never be seen again. Well, so they hope. I need ye to give me the struggle of yer life when I try to drag ye to them. Make it look real or they will shoot me and rape ye.”My eyes flew open. “What! Fuck no, I will not! How could you! I will curse you to burn in hell you prick!” I could see Jaime was frozen by my outburst and wasn’t playing his part. I screamed so the devil himself could hear me and slapped him with every ounce of strength left. He seized my arms and started dragging me to the ugliest of them. I kicked his knee making him shout in pain, the knee hitting the dirt. The men were laughing, enjoying the show. “I won’t go with them!” I screamed. I broke free and ran for the hill only to feel Jaime tackle me seconds later. The men roared with laughter and all three were suddenly silent.

Jaime held me close and I could feel him shaking. He lifted me to my feet asking if I was well. I looked in his eyes and did not recognize the man. I took a step back suddenly quaking with fear. “Yer alright Sassenach. It’s over and yer safe. I didn’t mean what I said lass, only needed time for Murtagh and Ian to get in position. Forgive me lass, please say ye forgive me!” I heard galloping behind me and then a streak of brown as a horse passed at breakneck speed. Jenny atop took aim with a rifle and fired. A man screamed in the distance. “What the holy fuck is happening?” I felt a strong wave of nausea and my head spinning. Jaime caught me and coo’ed loving words to me. Then blackness.

My eyes opened wide and I sat up only to be pushed down by Jenny. “It’s over lass and yer safe.” She kept glancing toward the kitchen where I heard the whispers of many men. I sat up and grabbed her hand pulling her into the kitchen. The men surrounded Jaime, hanging on his every word. He dispatched several and addressed the rest in his strange language. I have never seen such respect as the men had for him. I watched as they dispersed. He hung his head and let out a long breath. My heart broke for him but I had no idea why. “Jaime?” He was next to me, holding me close saying “it's over lassie, yer safe with me.”

“Stop!…what the fuck is over and what am I safe from?” Jaime looked helpless and released me. I heard Murtagh’s voice, strong and confident as he strode toward me. He stood in front of me, holding my gaze, unwavering. Those men conspired to steal ye and run ye into the mountains. The three of them would rape ye till ye were pregnant one of em would claim wed to ya. Ye would be lost to us.. to the world, serving three masters until ye died. The Laird doesna get on well with the Grant boys and their idiot cousins and they woulda shot him through the heart to take ya. They meant to torture him….” Jaime suddenly shouted, “Murtagh! Enough.” I could feel the pain from my wide eyes, I felt the dryness of my open mouth. I reached for Jenny’s hand and tried to breathe. I realized I would escape from their possession when I disappeared but that would be hours from now. Jaime would be dead and I would have been raped by the three of them apparently in front of Jaime before they shot him. 

I was hyperventilating, looking from one to the other. “My God, this place is cruel and wicked. I pulled my hand away from Jenny and backed into the parlor. I looked wildly for an escape, afraid I would open a door to an ugly face who meant to rape me. “Jesus Christ, what the fuck am I doing here? I want to go home!” I ran for the door and felt Jaime lift me to his chest and leave the kitchen. He mounted the steps two at a time and I struggled to break free. I heard the door slam shut. He sat on the bed holding me in his lap. He wouldn’t let me go so I stopped fighting him. It took several minutes for him to speak but he wouldn’t look at me. “Is there cruelty in your world Sassenach?” I thought about the evening news full of rape and murder, school shootings and millions of refugees fleeing persecution. “Yes, my world is cruel on a grand scale.” He just shook his head and looked at the floor. “Do ye feel safe there?” I thought about how vulnerable we all are if someone has a reason to hurt us. “Our safety, or the illusion of safety, is in the giant numbers of people around us.” He continued to hold me to him, he looked up into my eyes and broke my heart. “Are ye truly safe there?” When I could speak I answered him, “its an illusion.” He nodded and let me go.

“Yer safe here Sassenach. Murtagh and I will ride to the witch and see what can be done to stop this magic. He turned to me, inches from my face, his fingers pushed curls behind my ears. He whispered something in Gaelic and crossed himself. When he looked at me again I saw his resolve. “What was that?” A prayer to forget me? Jaime!” I felt the tears flow down my cheeks. His eyes were so full of love when he looked at me. “I pray I will have the strength to let ye go and not fall on my knees beggin ye to stay.” He pressed his forehead to mine.

I was reeling and wanted everything to stop for a minute so I could feel grounded. How could this be over? Instead of getting married he was offering to send me back, permanently. “Jaime, can you live without me?” He pressed against me and whispered, “no lass, I canna.” I felt like my world was crashing, “would you marry eventually?” His eyes met mine and I felt the jolt of his heartbreak. “No lass,” he whispered. “Oh my God! No, no, no, stop Jaime, don’t give up! Please just put your arms around me. Is my heart beating in your chest? I must stay with you, I know the risk ahead, I will take it, I promise. Please Jaime, don’t send me away!” In my memory, I saw him pushing me toward a standing stone. I heard him crying but he pushed me still. I was begging him, and he pushed me still. “Jaime, you suffered two hundred years of purgatory and I’m right here!” I heard him gasp and his arms came around me like steel bands. I was on my back sobbing but the weight of his body on me was keeping me alive. I felt his face on mine and clutched him like I was drowning. My mind kept flashing to the hilltop and him pushing me away. I was losing my mind, I heard myself screaming no!

His mouth was soft closing over mine. He held me so tight and the howling in my ears finally stopped. His kiss was a lifeline at that moment, a reprieve from a lifetime of loneliness and wanting. His tongue was seeking mine and I gave it as a promise to always be with him. I tried to move my arms but feared he would be snatched away forever so I gripped him tighter. I spoke through his kiss, “I won’t go.” I pulled at his shirt and tried to release my jeans. I felt desperate to have him inside me, to be connected to him and know he wanted me. He stilled my hands looking into my eyes for some kind of answer. “I love you more than my life and I will lay down where you lay for as long as you breathe. I was born for you and this is my place so I won’t go.” He kissed me hard and his hands were pulling our clothes off. I raised my arms and heard him gasp when he saw the corset. I stopped, breathing hard and watched his face torture through this oddity. He reached around me and pulled the laces until it fell away. We were naked within seconds. He fell on me, holding my head inches from his and lowered his erection between my parting legs. My mind was screaming for him to want me, to take me, to keep me forever. He pushed into me as far as he could go and still held my gaze. “You belong to me, now and forever.” He held my pelvis up and slammed it multiple times. “You are mine and I will protect ye with my life and with my clan.” 

My relief was profound but my body shook. I couldn’t control it and couldn’t hide it. “Mo chridhe, are ye well, why do ye shake so?” He pulled the quilt down and covered me with it. Our lovemaking was abruptly cut short. He wrapped me in his body but my shaking continued. “What can I do for ye lass?” I looked up at his concerned face. “Jaime, I need to hear the details of how all this came about if I’m ever to feel safe here again. All of it please.” 

“The Grants own land that boarder’s Lallybroch to the East. For as far back as I can remember they have been a problem with my father and the tenants, and now me. Three boys and four girls that have probably never made an honest coin between them. Lately, I have chased them off my land twice. Once for tryin to steal sheep, the next for spying on you. Sometimes they return home with a headache, sometimes much more. I’d wager I have broken most of the bones in the human body between the three. There is bad blood, aye? I was worit about them watching ye so sent word to join us for handfasting today along with other tenants. I wanted them to witness you pledge herself to me so they’de leave ye alone. The girls, four of them, came down late in the afternoon wantin to help Jenny decorate for the party. She overheard them laughin about the plan to steal ye.” He laughed a little then. “Jenny loves ye, ken, so she came at them with a rifle. She pulled one out and set the other three to standin so their heads were together, ear to ear. She pointed the rifle at the head on the end and told the girl to find me and be back before the sun drops a quarter in the sky or she shoots them all with one bullet.” He laughed again. “The girl found me, I found Murtagh, and we were runnin for the house whistlin all the way.” 

“What do the whistles mean?” Jaime was spreading his warmth down my arms. “It’s Highlander communication. Every tenant within a half mile in four directions would hear it and come runnin. It means life or death and they come ready to fight as I have done many times for them. The house filled with folks responding to the call. Me and Murtagh heard the plan to steal ya before the handfasting. Jenny tied the girls keepin their ears together and told the little one to go home and tell her brothers the sisters would die if they laid a hand on you. I’ve rarely seen that spit so mad. So the maids spent the entire night wi’ ears tied together. We let them go before sun up and they swore silence but I was good either way. If the brothers showed up I would kill them and handfast to you. If they didn’t, I would handfast to you.”

“Sassenach, yer white as a ghost, ye scarin me.” Jamie ran downstairs for food thinking it would fortify me. It gave me time to ponder my questions. “How often does this happen in the Highlands Jaime?” He was holding food to my mouth and I took it so he would answer. “Maybe five or six each year. All maids and very young, usually from large families where the father would be almost grateful for one less mouth to feed.” He registered the horror on my face and looked down at the bed. And the fate of these young girls?” He looked up at me, “gone forever Sassenach.” I wanted to vomit and cry for the innocent but feared Jaime would shut down. I had to hear the rest. 

“And then?” He looked utterly exhausted when he spoke. “We dinna know where ye would… wake up, and couldn’t tell the tenants to watch for a girl appearing out of thin air. We each took a point, me at yer tree, Murtagh at the fallen tree ye tripped over, Jenny at the cottage. When I realized how thin we were spread. I was fearful for ye. So I climbed high into the tree to watch everywhere. The tenants were spaced out along the hill base, house, barns, and pasture. They were verra confused but wouldna question their Laird. The whistles you heard meant I found ya and they answered back. Then the two short whistles from Murtagh meant they were comin.” He looked at my eyes, “I have never in my life been so scared Sassenach.” Jaime’s tears spilled down his cheeks and I felt his emotion. I reached out to touch his face filled with concerned love for him. “We almost made it to the house Sassenach, where we would have been safe while Murtagh, Ian, Jenny, and the tenants picked them off, one by one. We almost made it m’eudail. I’m so sorry ye had to get scared like that.” He wiped his face with irritation as I wrapped my head around his words.

I sat up on my knees and wrapped my arms around this huge man. Holding him tight, I rocked him and whispered into his ear that we were alright, alive, unmolested, free to handfast. I thanked him for saving me, I thanked him for giving me a family of saviors. I thanked him for loving me. He pulled my head to him and kissed me senseless. A knock on the door broke my fog and I pulled the quilt to my chin. Jaime watched me while he put his kilt and shirt on. His eyes were sexual and needy making me squirm. Jenny came in like a whirlwind. “Murtagh is ready to ride to the witch.” Jaime’s eyes never left mine, “no witch.” Jenny jumped up and down, “ then a handfastin! You need to find Ian, brother. Claire has to get ready.” Jenny pushed him out the door and his eyes were locked to mine until separated by wood.

She looked at me tenderly for a minute. Then yanked the quilt off my naked body and threw a man's shirt at me. A round cylinder was thrown on the fire and a warm wet cloth was handed to me for clean up. Jenny’s breath caught when she picked up the corset. She closed her eyes and ran her hands over the soft satin. “This is so beautiful Claire.” I smiled, “There is a matching bra.” She asked what that was and heard my explanation. “Sounds lovely Claire but maids are married with unbound breasts.” My head snapped up, “what?” She held the hot cylinder by a stick shoved into the core. “No lass, they arna bouncin in the wind, they just arna bound. The dress is ready and took me half the night to finish. We were all awake anyway awaitin an ambush. At least I had somethin to pass the time with.” While we chatted Jenny spun my hair into ringlets, three of them down my back, swept up on the sides with smaller curls at temple and nape. She pulled the laces savagely until my waist was the span of a man’s hand. “Ye canna eat unless someone loosens it about two inches. Drink sparingly.”I pulled on the silk stockings that stayed up by themselves. Something Jenny studied quite hard. Panties with the deepest V that exposed the skin from belly button to pubic bone. I felt my heat just sliding them on. Jenny gasped, “what’s happened to ye Claire!?” She was pointing at the bare skin exposed by the panties. “In my world, women prefer to be hairless.” She looked from my pubic area to my legs, and raised her arm pointing. I nodded, “everywhere.”

I looked at myself in the scratchy mirror and thought Jenny could make a fortune doing hair for the runway. She handed me a small bowl with red goo inside. “It will color yer lips and cheeks.” I dabbed it on and was transformed. The color was beautiful. Jenny held a weird round thing toward me, it goes on first lass, just step into it and let the bigger circles fall. She fastened it behind me. “Arms up” and the lace skirt fell onto the whoops for a moderate flare. When the black velvet fell into place it was tight against my skin above the skirt. The embroidered neckline was a millimeter above my nipples and the skirt had sweeping scallops that exposed the lace underneath. “Oh my God Jenny, I had no idea you could fit a garment like this with a bone needle. You are a master,” I said reverently. Jenny blushed a beautiful healthy rose up her cheeks. Humbled by my honest appraisal of her craft. She stood back, shaking her head from side to side. “Yer gorgeous lass, and Jaime is gonna be speechless! Are ye ready to promise yerself to my brother for eternity then?” I hugged her so tight fighting tears of happiness.

We waited in the kitchen for Murtagh who would stand in for my father. I remembered that in these times a girl was the property of her father until she became the property of her husband. I heard a low voice say “Oh my God Claire” and looked to see Murtagh with eyes as big as saucers. He looked at length from my head to my shoes, smiling and nodding his head. “Yer a rare beauty Claire.” My cheeks felt hot so I knew I was blushing. “I must tell ya that a rider was dispatched to castle Leoch last night to rally clansmen to stand with Jaime. His uncles have arrived just in time. One is Laird of the McKenzie clan, the other is the warlord. The men with them are brother’s to Jaime and there is much love here today. Now if I can just keep them sober for the ceremony. 

He held out his arm and asked if I was ready. I took it but he stopped abruptly. “Sorry lass, almost forgot to tell ya, it’s a marriage we witness today. The Laird brought the priest along to marry ye quick if need be. “Yes Murtagh! I’m ready, yes!”

When we walked into the dooryard I was stunned at the number of people who had gathered. I estimated well over a hundred. I heard people gasp and whisper, I saw them smiling and pointing. I felt like a goddess the way they looked at me. I saw a fine carriage and numerous clansmen standing and staring. I curtsied deeply to the Laird who sat smiling with wife and men all around him. It's time to turn the corner lass. Once Jaime sees ye there’s no turnin back. I looked at Murtagh so happy, “I love you Murtagh.” He scoffed, “what’s not to love lass?”

When we walked around the corner of the house I finally saw Jaime. Resplendent in his clan colors and fancy lace shirt. He wore his sword and dirk, both polished to gleaming in the sun. His hair was combed back away from his shiny clean face. He was magnificent. Jenny and Ian were next to him, how I wondered did Jenny get dressed and coiffed so fast. Ian wore the same colors and his smile lit up his face. 

“Oh my God, Jaime, look at yer bride.” When he turned to look at me our eyes locked and my head spun. He watched me until Murtagh placed my hand on his arm. "Please lass, make sure I say all I’m suppose to. I canna take my eyes off ye and I might miss my own weddin.” His hand came to touch my cheek. I burned this moment into my memory never wanting to forget. The priest was skinny and annoyed, he coughed until Jaime nodded his head to begin. Throughout the ceremony, he never broke his gaze and when the priest asked to bless the ring he held it out where he thought the preacher would be, causing the little man to chase his hand with the bible as it waved back and forth. There was hushed laughter from the crowd and Jaime continued to gaze at me. After the blessing, the ring was atop a bible for Jaime to take, and again, the preacher was darting back and forth chasing his hand in the air. He pulled my hand up and slipped the ring on my finger. Then he kissed my palm. When the preacher said “kiss the bride” Jaime lowered his head and we were cheek to cheek, lips only millimeters apart. An intimate few seconds. We turned our heads toward each other and our lips fused. I took a deep breath, filling my lungs with the air. 

The roaring, clapping guests launched from their seats and gathered around us. I was snapped out of my reverie as was Jaime. The women were well-wishing and the men bowed to Jaime and slapped him on the shoulder. I took a moment to look at my wedding ring and I felt so close to Ellen wearing it. I heard music playing and lots of voices. Jaime held my waist and looked down at me every few seconds. Jenny and Ian cut into the crowd to hug us both. Suddenly, it was silent and guests hurried away as the Laird of Leoch and his lady approached. Letisha was breathtakingly beautiful in an emerald gown and fox cape. Her green eyes sparkled at me as she waited for her husband to speak. Jaime bowed as deeply as I curtsied. He looked into my eyes, “Lady Broch Tuarac,” I looked at him confused, then I looked behind me searching for the one he addressed. I felt small hands grip the velvet and turn me toward the Laird, then push down hard and I curtsied. I rose slowly waiting for more instructions. Instead, the Laird took my hand and kissed it. When I looked up his eyes were warm. “Clan McKenzie came to fight today, instead we were blessed with a wedding. You have allies in us, as do we in you.” He looked at Jaime and his smile changed. It was subtle but I saw it, and so did Jaime.

Another man right behind the Laird reached for my hand. “I’m Dougal McKenzie, Warlord to the Laird. It is very nice to meet ye lass and aren’t you the bonny one. He pulled my hand up to his mouth to kiss it staring into my eyes the whole time. I was decidedly uncomfortable and pulled my hand away.

When I looked up I saw the McKenzie clansmen still standing and every face had a blazing smile. I was a bit overwhelmed and wanted to find a privy. Jenny grabbed my hand, said something to Jaime and Ian and pulled me to the back of the house. We slipped into a door and a cool dark alcove. I leaned against the stone wall grateful for the cool and quiet. Jenny whispered, “did ye hear it Claire? When ye kissed, there was thunder, sounded close. Everyone looked up at the sky.” I could not remember hearing it. “Jenny, why did you make me curtsy for that Lady Bracken, or whatever her name was?” Jenny stood in front of me, shaking her head from side to side, looking incredulous with a half-smile. “Ye jest sister?” I looked up at her. “About what? Don’t you remember making me curtsy?” Jenny’s smile got huge and she hugged me, stood back, and curtsied low and slow. “Lady Broch Tuarak.” My eyes were wide “Oh my God, it’s you!” Jenny’s head snapped up from her deep curtsy. “Ye may be from the future sister but yer as dumb as a big rock!” I felt deeply insulted, “I beg your pardon?” 

The door swung open and I saw him. My bones felt week and my heat ignited. When his eyes found mine he was on me in a second. He touched my face, “mo ciad-bhean, let’s get on Donus and ride away, please” Jenny slapped him on the back. Two hours from yer kiss brother and not a minute sooner. Oh, yer wife is lookin for Lady Broch Tuarac.” She walked into the sun and the door closed. We flew to each other and hung on for dear life. He kissed me crazy and I begged him to touch me. “I’ve never seen such a beautiful man,” I told him, “and I want to show you how much I love you.” He was pulling at velvet, then pulling at lace, his hand was stopped by wooden hoops. Christ Sassenach, it’ll take an army to get to ye skin.” He looked into my lusty eyes and I held his erection through his kilt. His shock and moan made my toes curl. He pushed me into the wall but the hoops would not yield for the attempted grinding, or lifting, and certainly not grabbing. “I want to feel you glide across my tongue,” Jaime growled something in Gaelic. “Jesus lass I will never make it two hours if ye keep on.” Clan McKenzie wants to meet ya” he grabbed my hand and pulled me outside. The alcove was quiet and dark once more. Two eyes blinked from the top stair, hidden in the dark.

The McKenzie men gathered around us, smiling, joking, and play fighting to be first to say hello to me. I found them utterly charming. The first man stood in front of me with his chest out and a smile from ear to ear. Jaime cleared his throat and said, “Angus, meet my lady, Claire .” He bowed over my hand and kissed it. “My lady,” he murmured. Jaime was looking at me with alarm. Angus get a chair, now! “Claire, yer white as a ghost. I will get ye some wine. Rupert, come hold her hand.” The Rupert man held my hand about chest level, looking at his brother’s like he had a prize. Angus came running with a high backed chair and I sat gratefully in it. “Oh, thank you dear!”

Jaime took the glass of wine and turned around to bring it back. His heart nearly stopped seeing Claire holding court with the McKenzie men kneeling at her feet. She gave her smiles so freely and the men begged for more with jokes and anecdotes about each other. She was sitting on a rise with the men all around her. Jaime looked through the guests and most people were watching her. “My sweet Jesus, what great deeds have I done to win such a lass?”

Jaime stayed close to Claire after that. So much attention and fright for her today. He thought she must be exhausted. In his mind, he saw her naked on the sofa doing whatever he asked. The party was winding down and the McKenzie boys were setting up camp to sleep before riding back to Leoch. Jaime saw twinkling green eyes coming closer. Letisha. He bowed to her and she gave a dazzling smile and touched his cheek. I’ve a wish to walk with your bride and talk just a bit. “Of course.”

I heard Letisha’s voice and turned to her. “Walk with me Claire. I’ll take ye back to the house. Jaime is surely anxious to …rest. She was the most beautiful woman I had seen in Scotland and she captured me with her smile. We walked and she showered me with compliments and gifts she left in the house for us apparently. She was so refined and genuine and I was grateful for her time. We parted at the kitchen door and I have never been so grateful to close myself in. I walked into the parlor and was stunned by the sight.

The fire was blazing and every surface was covered with boughs of evergreen with spring wildflowers weaved into it. I was custom for young teenage girls to decorate the home during the ceremony. Plate after plate of food. Meats, sweets, jugs of wine and a special bottle of Ian’s ten-year whiskey. Gifts were piled up against the wall and I could not count them all. I found the special gift Letisha told me to find. It was wrapped and bound with string but I could not lift it. I found Jenny’s note on the mantel. She and Ian would be staying at the cottage for the next two nights. A wedding gift for Lady Broch Tuarac. My sister. “It’s me!” I shouted out loud. There was a loud pop at my feet. Letisha’s gift had burst open and a large black bearskin unfurled onto the floor. There was a note in the center. ‘To the Lady Broch Tuarac, conceive your children on this rug and they will inherit the merits of this fine animal. Blessings. Lady Leoch. 

Jamie bolted the kitchen door behind him and turned the lamps down. He wanted to hold his wife and make sweet love to her. He stopped dead at the parlor entrance. There was a huge black bearskin in front of the fire, a bottle and two glasses, Claire’s dress was carefully laid across the sofa and the infernal hoops were collapsed nearby. He looked down at the most beautiful item in the room. His sleeping bride with long stockings held up by magic, a lovely and tight corset that pushed her breasts up and the most amazing panties. Her hair fanned out across her face. She was breathtaking and she was his. He removed his sword, dirk, and adornments and laid next to her naked. He let his mind wander giving her time to refresh.

“Jamie?” “Aye lass, I’m right here next to ye, always.” He rolled to his side, near her ear. “My sweet lassie I’m going to make love to ye until ye disappear I’ll no be stopped. Rest now while I make my list of things I’m gonna do to ye.


	26. Love and Fear

I have a fine glass of whiskey for a pretty lass that just became my wife.” Jaime’s voice was deep, and silky in my ear. I opened my eyes to see him laying beside me propped up on his elbow. “Oh, Christ, I didn’t mean to fall asleep! I’m sorry. This rug is so soft and comfortable and…” The most beautiful lips fused to mine in a soft kiss. “I needed time to complete my list mo chridhe, but now I am in need of yer sweet body and bonny eyes.” I sat up and took a glass from him. There were plates of food and sweets on the floor around us. We ate and it was delicious. The whiskey was warm in my stomach and fortifying. I prayed that we had enough time to say and do what we both wanted before I woke up in the 20th century.

“This is an exquisite rug from a huge bear.” Jaime was talking between bites, drinking his whiskey, and running his hand down my leg. He really could have used another hand. “I have no idea where it comes from as we dinna have such beasts in Scotland.” There was a noise outside and I nearly jumped out of my skin. I gulped my whiskey and Jaime sat up in concern. “What is it Sassenach. Yer hands have taken to shakin again?” I looked up feeling fear. “How do we know those men won’t come back?” Jaime pushed a curl behind my ear then passed me another glass. “They are gone Mo nighean donn, never to return. Ye have nothin to fear from them.” I felt profound relief but curiosity compelled more questions. “It all happened so fast I don’t recall what happened to them. I remember Ian, Murtagh and a tenant with a gun to their heads, and then nothing. Were they killed then? Jenny shot someone. Who was that?” Jaime ran his fingers through my hair. I have all the answers mo chridhe if ye want to hear them. But, there is a price.” He was raking his eyes up and down my body like I was a T-bone steak. My heart was racing and my mouth opened to allow my rapid breathing. “I will pay it” I whispered. He prowled around me running his hands down my arms and shoulders. I felt the laces pull slowly and could not wait for the hateful corset to fall away. He pushed me to my back and I sank into the lovely fur with a delighted moan. “I canna seem to move just yet nor can I speak until those panties are off ye.”I pushed them off and looked up at him feeling my lust crashing through and wetness between my legs. 

Jaime laid beside me and rubbed the red marks left by the corset. He looked down at me from my head to my toes. I realized the stockings were still on and reached to pull them off. His hand stopped me. “I would like to know how they feel, where ever ye legs end up.” I let out a breath I was holding. “Answers then?” He was smiling wickedly. “Ye can buy one Sassenach. Give me a kiss.” His mouth came down on mine for a sweet chaste kiss. “I may be the Laird but I am not God. Killing them as captives is a sin I dinna wish to carry. It was no longer life or death at that point." He continued running his hands over my body with the lightest touch. “I blinked hard to clear my head of the lust he was building. “And then?” He brought his mouth next to mine, “will ye pay sweet lass?” I blinked again, harder. “Yes, I’ll pay, ”was spoken in a rushing exhale. He opened my lips with his tongue and I sucked it into my mouth with a moan. When he broke the kiss I chased his mouth moaning. He pulled my arms over my head and held them. His other hand ran slowly over my breasts. “This is a long story Sassenach. Ye look like ye arna listening to me.”He pinched my nipple and shook my breast. “Oh my God,” came rushing from my mouth. My hand reached out to caress him, and he let me. After the initial gasp, he spoke. “Not wanting their continued threat, three tenants took them, bound and gauged to the waterfront in Edinburgh and sold them to an Oriental crew.”He was dragging his finger up the inside of my legs up to my fold. I held his balls and squeezed my message. He pulled my hand away and I could see his lust burning.

“I want you husband.”The way he looked at me, I felt like the only woman to ever exist. “Ye have five minutes to have anythin ye want from me. I have the rest of the afternoon until ye disappear. It may not be fair, but I’ll do as I like with ye and ye’ll know yer place before I’m through. His words were shooting me toward ecstasy. I pushed him down on his back and pushed his hands under his head. I ran my hands down his muscled chest and pinched his nipples. He sucked a breath but watched my every move. I looked at his erection and brought my face to it. Pulling his balls toward me I sucked them lightly and ran my tongue around each. Jaime was still watching and his chest was expanding rapidly. My hand held him at the base, angling him toward my mouth. I locked onto his gaze and lowered my mouth as deeply as possible. Having him in my mouth was so erotic so I pumped him wanting to taste him. I was moaning and holding him. I felt his hand grab my hair and pull me away savagely. He pushed me down and sucked my breast until I screamed. He looked down at me. “I will punish ye for that mo ghradh. He pulled my legs up over his shoulders after moving between my legs and licked me open. I pulled his head to me because I was so close. He sucked me and the world spun out of control. He pushed his palm against me and I moved against it prolonging the ride.

Jaime normally waited for my eyes to open before ramming into me. “I believe it’s your turn to take what you want husband for the rest of the oooof” Multiple deep thrusts and I was breathless. He kissed me deeply and pushed into me. I thought I might suffocate but held his head to me for another earth-shattering kiss. “Open yer legs Sassenach, and let me take ye how I want.” I lifted my legs to the side for another several thrusts. “Tell me yer mine love,” another thrust. “Tell me ye love me,” another thrust. “I’m your's Jaime, and I love you so deeply.”He growled in Gallic and pounded me until he stopped as deep as he could go and emptied himself. “My darling love,” I whispered while stroking his back. The exhaustion of the day overtook us and we slept in the lovers embrace.

I woke to warm kisses and a tongue flicking my nipples. I moaned and felt him turning me over. “Stick that gorgeous arse in the air Sassenach.” His hands were caressing me with a strong need. I let out a long breath as he slid into me. “Ah!”Jaime moved himself to my ear, “show me ye want me to love ye.” I pushed my arse up until I felt him and he held me there. “Jesus yer a vision.” He continued sliding in and out of me and gasping with each thrust back. I felt his finger on my throbbing, tapping me and driving me crazy. “Jaime!” He pushed into me hard several times and slowed down. He pulled away and flipped me over covering me with his body. “I canna get close enough to ye.” He kissed my mouth, my neck, my nipples and I squirmed underneath him. He pushed into me again. “Are ye ready to see the angels Sassenach?”I gasped and pushed his buttocks toward me. “Yes, please.” We climaxed within seconds of each other and he was lost in my pulsating grip. We clung to each other until our breathing normalized. 

He buried his face in my neck and curls. “I crave ye Sassenach, always. I touch ye right after and want ye again. If ye ever tell me no I promise to leave ye alone, well, until I come for ye the next time. I willna force me’self on ye, it’s my promise. My heart was bursting with love for this man. “I understand, and love you more for it.”

I laid my head on his chest. “What is the date? It will be our anniversary for the rest of our lives.” I was so tired I did not even know the month at the moment. “Tis April second.”I calculated lazily in my head.“What?!” I sat up counting my fingers. “How long does it take to sail to Paris?” Jaime was startled awake. “Depends on the weather, and the boat, and many other things Sassenach.”I felt my heart drop. “What would be the fastest?”Jaime considered, “three to four weeks. What is amiss love?”I felt defeat and frustration fill me. “The stones are open on June twenty-first, then not until December. If I can’t get through in June I have to wait six more months. Jaime pulled me to him. “Dinna fash Sassenach. We’ll leave for Paris in two days time.” 

“There is so much I have to tell you Jaime. I don’t know where to start...” I heard knocking on my door and Joe’s voice calling from the hall. My eyes opened.“Bloody hell!” I felt the tears and I punched the bed with all my strength. My fingers were pinched by my wedding ring and I held it against my heart for a moment. I have got to make it in June, or lose my mind trying, I thought.

I opened the door to see Joe staring at the ground with hands in his pocket. “Are we alright pet?”My heart broke for his misery. I have been so caught up in Jaime I forgot about the fight I had with Joe. “Take your hands out of your pockets, I scolded.”When he did I jumped into his arms and kissed his cheek. He hugged me tightly. “I’m sorry I let you down pet. I still can’t wrap my head around what is happening. But that note from Jaime almost made my heart stop. I am in your corner now and I promise to help. 

I pulled him into my room and we pounded the wall for Baritone. Soon the three of us sat on my bed and I filled them in on what Fiona told me. Joe pulled my hand up and looked at my ring. He didn’t smile but hugged me and said ‘congratulations’. Baritone just looked confused as always. 

“There is a man in Paris who will cross to our time and balance your loss..” Joe was analyzing the information, and I needed his critical thinking so I gave answers as many times as he asked. “Who would know something like that and what else do they know?” I would have given my fortune to not answer this question but I promised them raw truth to recruit their help. “I had a dream of it apparently when I was in a hypothermic coma. Then Murtagh heard it from a tenant .... who is also a witch.” I looked up sheepishly at Joe but he was in his head, deducing the fastest way out of my room, no doubt. 

Baritone spoke up and broke the awkward silence. “It would help me to make a list of the people Claire, may I?” Not waiting for an answer he grabbed the paper, pen, and Bible provided by the B&B. I watched him write headings for his own categorization and smiled. Under ‘magic people’ he wrote ‘Raymond, witch, Fiona’. The next column was ‘dates’ under which he wrote ‘2018, 1743, 6-21, and 12-22, 80 days. He then wrote 243 after the 80. “How did you figure the days until December solstice?”I looked up at Baritone but he looked confused again and looked at Joe for assistance. Joe was distracted by Baritone’s list and answered offhandedly, “he can count toothpicks too, or recite the phone book. It’s a gift pet.” My eyes were wide but narrowed at Joe’s flippant answer. He looked up and pulled Baritone to him in a hug. “This man is a child prodigy and his hobby is abstract mathematics of quantum mechanics,” he said proudly. I was stunned. “No wonder you guys fell in love.”

I couldn’t miss the happiness and love that spread across Baritone’s handsome face when Joe hugged him. My heart ached for them hiding their attraction from the world. The fashion industry was rooted in heterosexual white and very resistant to diversity. Baritone’s star was on the rise, but at what cost?

Joe told me of a guest named Dr. Frank Randall, a historian from Oxford, who had entertained his questions about the Scotland Jacobites and Highland culture. “He loves talking about this pet, I am sending him a request. Maybe Fiona will help.” With that, he shot out of the room leaving me and Baritone looking dumbstruck.

Fiona looked at Joe’s face and patted his hand. “It was not such a long journey then, to Claire’s truth.” Her smile was enormous and Joe felt warmed by it. He wanted to bask in her love and approval but couldn’t imagine why. He forced himself to return to his mission. Fiona agreed to take a message to Dr. Randall. “Joe, I have a little map I made to Craigh na Dun, the standing stones. Take Claire but do not let her touch the stones. It will help her.

Joe walked in and handed me the map. “ Anyone up for sightseeing? I believe it’s your portal pet. Fiona says not to touch the stones.” I looked at the map and tears came flowing down, “to Jaime?” Joe sounded irritable, “away from me. Get ready, meet you in the front room in twenty.” Baritone looked at my tears but did not move. “I am fine, really. One step closer to Jaime and a little overwhelmed with the support of both of you. Happy tears.” He kissed my forehead and left. “I’m coming Jaime” I whispered. 

Fiona handed Joe a picnic basket and hugged me. “The druid sisters are calling. There has been a change in the ether Claire, and they feel it, as do I. Be brave and let love lead ye.” She smiled at me and turned me to follow the boys. I walked robotically, feeling the battle between fear and love raging in my stomach. 

Fiona’s smile vanished when Claire was out of sight. She had tremendous fear for her but knew she must encourage the lass. If courage fails her when all is in place she will never see her husband again. That she was sure of. 

The day was chilly and overcast as we sped our way to Craigh na Dun. I sat in the back lost in thought until I felt the first raindrops. Joe pulled over and locked the top on the vehicle. He looked at me with compassion. “It’s just sightseeing pet, that’s all. The look on your face is breaking my heart. You can turn your back on all of this and be on five covers next month. It is your choice. So cheer up, please?” I looked up at his face, “get in the car you idiot, you’re getting soaked!” He laughed at me, “there she is!” We were off again heading into the storm.

We turned at the sign that said ‘Five miles to Craigh na Dun’. My mind conjured up the drums of the damned so I shook my head and concentrated on our wedding. I thought about the intimate seconds feeling Jaime’s cheek next to mine and kiss that almost ruptured my heart. I was floating on the memory. “There it is!” I snapped out of my thoughts and looked out the window. Holy fuck that looks scary. High on a hill were huge stones arranged in a circle. The rain was pouring down and there was terrible lightning and thunder above them. Game over, fear won, time to go back, was my only thought. Joe turned around and looked at me in question. “Let’s go back” and pointed at the road behind us. Joe pulled a U-turn and drove fast in the other direction. I watched the stones and shivered until they were out of sight. We drove straight out of the storm. The sun was peeking through the clouds as we pulled to a stop. Clearly, this was a warning to stay away from the stones. I could feel the cold claws of emptiness reaching for me. Without warning my feet left the ground and I was hoisted up on Joe’s shoulder as he bounced me to the B&B entrance. The giggling bubbled up to my mouth and I shrieked with laughter and demanded my release. Baritone told me this would reduce the percentage of rain that fell on me by sixty-three percent. How did you figure that I snapped through giggles. “Well, the distance to the door, divided by Joe’s stride, times rainfall …” Joe was laughing, “he is just so much fun, right pet? Seriously, what’s not to love about this guy?”I was back on my feet in front of the door to the B&B trying to get my hair behind me and feeling dizzy. I tried to smile at Fiona and walked to my room.

Joe realized we forgot the picnic basket and offered to run back. “It’s empty Joe, I ate it all on the way back. Stress eating, sorry.” His eyes were slits, “well, it's a good thing you quit the wood porky, and you just lost your breakfast police badge. Lord how the mighty have fallen.” Baritone looked at me sharply, “you quit the runway Claire?”I rolled my eyes and walked faster. I wanted to be locked in my room alone more than my next breath. “Three o’clock in the front room gentlemen,” I tapped the sticky note on my door. It was slammed and locked before they caught up. 

I paced my room, my head was swirling and I just made it to the toilet before that tasty lunch projected out of my stomach. “Yuk!” I stumbled to the bed and wiped the sweat off my forehead. I tried to make a list of questions for Dr. Randall but only had two. Who is Master Raymond and how can I find him? Phrasing the questions acceptable for a twentieth-century inquiry would be my challenge. I quickly set the alarm for thirty minutes. I had not dared to nap longer than that since my traveling started. Right or wrong, it’s what I did.

I dreamed of Jaime on son of satan, muscles bulging,, the sun gleaming off his hair… “Jesus, I hate that sound!”I slapped the button on the alarm feeling the sensation of adrenalin that always followed. I ran a brush through my hair and realized alarms run on electricity, well most do. Smiling at that thought I made my way to Joe’s room.


	27. Quiet Before The Storm

Jaime walked into the barn to feed the animals and Murtagh was just finishing the task. “Grooms canna have a long face like that lad. Has the lady gone for the night?”

“Aye, it always takes me a while to get over see'in her vanish. Tonight I fash about finding a single man in Paris who will change places with her. How will such a feat be done? How do I convince him to do so?”

Murtagh studied his godson. “There are ways laddie to find such answers and I’m lookin for an excuse to see the source. I have our passage booked and three of us board day after tomorrow, high tide. What happens if Claire wakes up in the water?” Jaime’s eyebrows shot up. “Christ, how do we protect her?” Murtagh was deep in thought, “I’ll get ye answers lad, it's my weddin present.”

Murtagh sold his horse the next day and arrived at the sorcerer’s hut with a pocket full of money. He banged on the door for at least five minutes. Fearing some harm had come to her he twisted the door handle and it opened. With the light from outside, he saw her sitting at the table, looking exotic. He shook his head. “Murtagh what a surprise.” She kicked a chair toward him. “Sit, you have much to ask me and much to pay for. That horse will miss you for a while.” 

“Do ye know my questions already then?” She watched him for a minute. “Let’s pretend I don’t” Murtagh took a deep breath, flicked a coin on the table and asked, “how do we protect Claire when she wakes up during the voyage every day?” The witch smiled, “I will tie her waking to him for the next eighty-days after which she will come no more except through the stones. The price is ten coins.” Murtagh jumped to his feet. “That is almost all I have witch!” She looked up at him smiling and ran her hand under the deep V of her dress and caressed her nipple. Murtagh threw 10 coins on the table and she gathered them to her. “I will choke ye to death if what ye promise does'na come to pass. How do we find Master Raymon in Paris?” She pinched her nipple and gasped. “Finding the apothecary shop is easy, convincing him to enter the stones on her behalf will be a challenge. He will remember his love for her and that will help. Raymon will be convicted of practicing the craft and hung on May twentieth. Convince him he dies in Paris by order of the king.”

The witch brought a bowl of white liquid to the table and swirled it with her finger as she gazed at it. I have seen the outcome if both enter the stones. Would you like to buy it Murtagh? It comes with a burden you must bear. Share it and the man will lose his heart and mind.” She leaned forward and looked him deep in the eye. “Do you want to buy it Murtagh?” He desperately wanted to run from her and never come back. “I’ll buy it.” She smiled, “no coin is necessary, the burden is payment enough.” She swirled the liquid looking in. “Fulfillment of the promise was never guaranteed. The stones will open to collect a debt. They have grown cold and dead to true love. Two hearts will enter, only one will emerge.” She sat back in her chair and ran her long nail across her nipple. Murtagh’s head was reeling and he was sinking mentally like a large stone tied to his foot and dropped into the ocean. The witch stood and opened the door. Murtagh stood and walked out, his gaze lowered and unfocused.

Before reaching Lallybroch he stumbled to a rock and sat on it. His thoughts were in chaos and he had to sort this out before helping Claire pass through the stones. How could Claire owe a debt to the stones she had never heard of before? The witch said she was an innocent last time he visited her so it must be Master Raymond. Could he have passed through before and left a debt to settle? That had to be correct but taking the life of a condemned man does not seem much of a payment. He started walking again toward Lallybroch. He cursed himself for accepting the burden, and for selling his horse. 

Murtagh’s feet were sore from all the walking. He heard a horse approaching fast from behind him. He saw Brimstone someways into the wood with the lass’s black hair flying behind her. He put his fingers in his mouth and whistled loudly. Brimstone came to an abrupt halt leaving Claire nearly flying over the mare’s head. “You wicked lassie,” I admonished and nearly fainted when Murtagh emerged. “Jesus Murtagh, you scared me to death. I can’t make this horse move and thought you might be… um, you know.”

“I’m sorry lass, I install that whistle stop in all the Lallybroch horses. It helps when someone tries to steal one of em. Mind if I hitch a ride? My feet are killing me.” I looked at his feet, “where is your horse, and of course you can.” I slid off the back end giggling and telling Murtagh that Jaime taught me that trick. Murtagh mounted and held his hand and stirrup for me to mount behind him. “What are ye doin out here alone when ye scarit of ye own shadow, and where’s Jaime then?” I tried to keep the irritation out of my answer, “he and Donus are dragging wood for those girls at the Grant house. It seems they are incapable of getting their own. I thought they had a father living there.” Murtagh chuckled, “Jenny shot him. He had a rifle pointed at Jaime’s head. She was riding the ridge after comin back from the cottage. When she saw old man Grant raise his rifled she turned the horse and spurred it right over the ridge and kept em spurs on it until she was in range. That crazy lassie will jump that horse over anythin. Lot’s of courage in that one.” I tried to imagine driving a horse over that ridge and keeping my seat landing on the steep incline. It made me shiver. “I think she was happy for the thrill of it, bein in breeks she could sit like a man and survive the jump. Speakin of which ye start ye sidesaddle lessons today. Sorry lass, lesson, hope ye learn quick.”

I was incredulous. “Why do I have to ride side saddle!” Murtagh was laughing. “I suppose ye could walk ever’where in Paris but in a corset and stays yer gonna hold us back” My head was trying to absorb corset and stays in Paris when I heard Jaime whistle Brimstone to halt. Donus was coming up quick behind us. “Murtagh! Where ye been, I had to haul the wood ye promised those girls. As I told ye before, let them… where the devil is your horse?” I heard every third or fifth word because I was captivated by the sight of Jaime. I really must try to overcome the urge to just stare at him with a goofy smile on my face. There was only time this morning for a long hug and thrilling kiss before I was pulled to the stable and set atop Brimstone. “I want ye with me lass, I’ve a chore to do and ye and the filly can run behind the cabin while I stack the wood, aye?” I was actually thrilled at the chance to run Brimstone over some fallen trees. At seventeen hands she was a beautiful jumper and some coaching from Jaime helped me collect her stride for a controlled lift over each jump. Next to being with Jaime, it was my favorite activity here.

I felt Donus brush my leg as Jaime rode up alongside Brimstone. “C’mere lass, ye can start learnin to feel ye balance. I put my weight in the right stirrup and threw my leg over. Jaime grabbed my waist and pulled me up in the saddle in front of him. I was sitting sideways with both feet on one side. I was feeling scared I would fall and it was a long way to the ground. Jaime pushed the stirrup toward my foot and lifted my leg over the front of the saddle. He pulled my hips so I sat straighter toward the front of Donus. “How does it feel lass?” I was pleasantly surprised at finding my balance already. “I’m good! Ready to lope this beasty.” He gave a look that wiped the smile off Murtagh's face. “Ah, a bit ahead there’s a clearin with deep spongy leaves. We can lope there. Remember Sassenach, you only have one stirrup and ye balance.” I assured him I was solid and smiling at the accomplishment. Jaime squeezed Donus into a slow lope and on his first stride I launched off the saddle and flew in an arc to the ground. Landing on my arse I was grateful for the soft forest floor. 

“If yer anythin but encouraging to the lass I will kill ye in yer sleep,” directing a murderous glance at Murtagh. “OK then, again!” The next two tries I was launched on the first stride. Then it happened, I felt my balance point snap in when Donus took his lead. I heard Jaime in my ear encouraging me while Donus gave a lovely lope around the clearing. Murtagh was grinning and shaking his head yes. I was so happy until Donus hit a rock and lurched forward. Once again I was launched. I rubbed my backside and reached for Jaime’s hand. He grabbed my hand and then pulled my legs to either side of the horse. “Lesson over my beauty. Next time yer with Jenny.” He kissed my neck and spurred Donus into a faster lope. We headed into the woods alone. Donus had a long stride and I could feel Jaime grind into me as we sailed along. He pulled my pelvis tighter against his and I felt his erection. "Lean forward a bit lass." I dropped my chest onto Donus's neck rolling my buttocks against Jaime. "I know you're staring at my arse so please don't run this beast right into a tree." He was panting in my ear when we approached the stream. He pulled me off Donus and kissed me deeply. “I need ye lass,” he was panting and chasing my mouth.” I playfully pushed him to hobble Donus and walked to the stream. I was filthy and hot so off came the clothes and I waded into the water. It was freezing!

I could see Donus’s nose in the water taking a drink up ahead. I dropped under the surface and came up gasping at the frigid cold. I didn’t see Jaime in the branch that reached over the stream until he dropped in front of me upside down and scared the daylights from me. “Kiss me.” I held his cheeks and kissed him. “Christ a'mighty yer cold. Time to go lass!” He was laughing when I floated on my back right under him. My legs were open and he stared at me. I floated to a large rock at the bank and pressed my back against it for warmth. I turned my face to the sun and opened my arms against the warm rock. The water level was just to the top of my legs, the moving current would come up and make me quiver. Such a delicious feeling I was sorry Jaime opted out of a swim.

Being outside in the water only heightened the pleasure and I called to Jaime. He grabbed my wrists and startled me. “This is too much like a dream I had of ye.” He scooped me up in his arms and carried to his waiting plaid laid out on the grass. He covered me with his body and pushed into me. Slowly, sweetly, we were locked into each other's eyes and did not want to hurry. Life for us would surely change after tomorrow so for now, in this idyllic place we would take it slow. 

Jaime grabbed soap from his saddlebag and jumped back into the water. When he laid down beside me he smelled clean and masculine. We warmed up in the sun and he pulled me in front of him on Donus. Normally I hold the front of the saddle but today he stretched my arms out to the sides and spurred Donus into a lope. I closed my eyes and felt the horse underneath me. Without Jaime’s arm around my waist or any contact at all for that matter, I started to feel the rhythm and my balance. 

When we got back I jumped off Donus and ran to find Jenny. Murtagh was forking hay into the stalls when Jaime put Donus up. “I canna stop my concern over Claire’s welfare wakin up during the voyage. If she wakes on deck one of the hands might see her, or in the water… Jaime shook his head to eject the thought. “I took care of it laddie. She is tied to ya now and will wake up no more than three feet from ye for the next eighty days. The witch made a promise under penalty of death and the price of my horse. I believe it will be so. She said Raymond has an apothecary shop in Paris, won’t be hard to find. He has love for Claire, don’t ask me how, but he will'na want to be her trade. He dies by hanging on May twentieth, 1743 by order of the king. He can stay and die or trade with Claire. Jaime’s eyes were wide. “Murtagh, I thank ye. She tell ye anymore?” Murtagh’s eyes were dark, “no!”

Jaime was too happy and relieved to notice the mood come over his godfather. He slapped Murtagh on the back and led him to the new gray gelding. “Yer new horse! What will ye name him?” Murtagh grumbled, Claire calls him son of satan… that’ll do.”

“Come Claire. I need to help ye sit a side-saddle.“ My smile was confident when I told her, “I think I’ll be okay Jenny, I finally found a good balance on Donus coming back with Jaime.” She looked across the kitchen at me, “good then this won’t take long.”

We saddled Brimstone with the weird side-saddle and Jenny switched to a more punishing bit than the soft rubber the lassie was used. “Is that brutal bit necessary?” She ran her hand down the horse’ s neck. “Maybe not with this lassie but you lose your leg control so it’s stoppin power if ye need it.” We led the horse to the round pen. “Watch and learn fair Claire.” She turned the stirrup completely around so she could spin in her mount and seat with both legs on one side. There was a hook for the passive leg and she was off. I watched her in fascination. Just like her brother she was one with the horse. Collected walk, sitting trot, and canter. She pulled the horse in a tight circle and pushed the horse into the bit until she was almost crashing the fence. Instead, Brimstone jumped over the fence without effort landing softly with Jenny laughing like a child. It was so amazing to see her that way. I opened the gate for her and she jumped down lavishing praise on Brimstone. I mounted using the same technique and awkwardly landed my passive leg on the other side of the hook. “Oops, I’ll just, ah, move my leg over here.” Jenny giggled, “let's go sister.” The walk and sitting trot went fairly well. When I used my leg to canter the first stride launched me from the saddle. 

“Oh God, I have landed on my butt more times than I can count today.” Jenny helped me up twisted the stirrup for me. She pushed me until I stayed on the horse through all gates without falling. With Brimstone put up with fresh water and treats I was ready to pass out. “Jenny… whiskey… Jenny” She shook her head, “C’mon then.” 

The day had been packed with activities and more time away from Jamie than I was used to. There were many arrangements to be made before we sailed tomorrow. I sat in the kitchen watching Jenny prepare the evening meal wishing Jaime would come and distract me from my fear. I half-heartedly offered to help but Jenny just laughed and poured me another whiskey. My eyes were blurry and my head was spinning a little. I heard his voice and looked up into those crystal blue eyes. “Are ye well Sassenach?” I smiled at him. “Jenny! How could ye let her drink so much?” Jenny side-eyed her brother saying, “oh, it was pretty easy brother.” 

Jaime looked mad so I tried to sober up and ask intelligent questions. “What did Turmaw learn about Raymond Jaime?” I felt his hand on my arm pulling me up. “Where are we going?” I was hustled out into the late afternoon cold and Jaime kept pulling me along. “Jaime dearest where are we going?” He looked at me suddenly and kissed me deeply. “One day Sassenach, we will drink and laugh together, but not this day. We walked into the fields of long grass and I started to feel more normal. Jaime told me about Raymond hanging on May twentieth which would’ be our leverage.’ I would search the internet for any proof that would be portable. “Let me walk back with you Jaime. I don’t want to leave you out here alone.” He smiled down at me and stroked my cheek. 

“Sassenach have ye ever considered Bairns? Do ye want a family mo chridhe?” I looked into his blue eyes and recited my mantra from early teens. “One to keep us alive forever, two to bond and protect each other, three to teach diplomacy and negotiation, four to fill the back seat on our vacation, five for a tie-breaker, six for a team.” Jaime eyed me skeptically, “would those six be bairns ye talkin about?” I smiled and said of course. I was lifted off my feet a swung around in circles and then he buried me in kisses. I heard the metallic click of my alarm clock. “Jaime I love you, time to go!” 

I swung my feet to the floor. I had to find WIFI and look for historical evidence of Raymond’s hanging. I wonder if they recorded the weather that long ago.


	28. Yi Tien Cho

We have been at sea for fourteen days, the most difficult days of my life. The witch was true to her word and I wake up three feet from Jaime every morning. So much concern for my welfare back in Scotland and it’s Jamie who fights for life. From the moment we were underway he has battled the worst seasickness I have ever seen. I fear he is getting too weak to recover and two weeks stretches before us. I woke up in Jaime’s bunk today and he did not wake up. I heard his labored breathing and didn’t want to disturb him. I have been walking the deck for an hour trying to control my panic.

Murtagh is little comfort as he is consumed with worry about Jaime. Starting with our ride to Edinburgh, Murtagh has said little to me. I catch him looking at me constantly like Jaime’s illness is my fault. I feel scared and alone. Mostly, I miss Jaime. We have not made love or even talked very much since we sailed. 

I have yet to unburden myself of the shocking future we learned about from Dr. Randell. How can I forget that shocking meeting. 

Walking to the front room I saw Joe leaning forward, elbows on knees, fingers together speaking to a distinguished looking gentleman. That was his posture for respect and intent. I had seen it so many times. As I approached the three of them stood up until I was seated. Dr. Randall greeted me warmly and I caught him staring whenever I looked up. “Excuse me Miss Beauchamp, have you taken classes at Oxford? You look so familiar to me.” I assured him I had not but suggested there were other ways he could have seen me. “Oh, like what?” Joe piped up with “Vogue, Vanity Fair, last month it was GQ I think.” Dr. Randall shook his head, I’m not familiar with those names. Sorry. “What can I help you with today?” Both boys looked at me. Here goes…

I smiled sweetly at Randall and explained my research into the witch trials of the mid-seventeen hundreds under King Louis. In particular, I am following the life of Master Raymon, a family member, who was convicted and hung in 1743.” Randall thought for a few minutes and finally shook his head no. “I’m sorry Claire, I have no memory of his name. What was his profession?” I looked at Randall admitting to my self that he seemed very familiar to me too. “He was an apothecary.” He raised his eyebrows at me. “Well, Louis was determined to rid France of the devil's influence and the apothecaries were all rounded up and put on trial. I have read something of the apothecary trials and remember the whole lot of them were hung. Sorry, I don’t have Master Raymon in my memory. If you give me your address or email I will send you what I find. 

A pretty young woman walked toward us and put her hand on Randall’s shoulder. “Hello darling. We’re almost finished here. Please sit down with me for a few minutes.” Her face suddenly brightened and she smiled, pointing at me. “I know who you are! Your on the cover of Vogue this month!” I smiled and winked at her. Randall asked me if there were any more questions. I looked down and smiled, a little disappointed at so little information. “I am very interested in the Highlander culture prior to Culloden. But you have been gracious with your time. Thank you for that.” His eyebrows shot up and he looked at his wife who was shooting obvious darts at him. “I am afraid we have an engagement and I must go. He handed me his card and suggested I drop by his office should I be in England in the future. “Thank you. One quick question. After the Scottish loss at Culloden, what happened to the landowners and people of title?” He stood up and looked down at us. After the soldiers, conspirators, and families who aided the Jacobites, the titled and landowners were wiped out and land was returned to the crown.” My head was reeling. “Even the Lairds?” He smiled sympathetically, every last one of them and their families. Commoners were left alone to starve over the next ten years and many did. You can find many sources of information about post-Culloden conditions in Scotland. Best of luck with your project. Gentlemen. He shook all hands and led his wife out of the B&B. 

I was stunned into silence. How the fuck would I tell Jaime he had two years to live as the Laird of Lallybroch? For that matter, I would meet my own death as well, so would Jenny, Ian, and Murtagh. My stomach was twisting and I suddenly felt very hot. “Joe?” I felt him lift me from the couch and pull me to my room. I knew I was going to vomit and started running. I barely made it to the common bathroom. I sank to the floor pushing my wet hair out of my face. Holy shit. 

Jaime will be healthy and strong before I put that reality in his head. For now, I bear it alone. Finding Murtagh below deck I asked him, ”do you know if we are on schedule Murtagh? He looked with a sour face and I noticed he too had dropped significant weight. Dark circles and gaunt cheeks made him look sick as well. “Murtagh, are you ill?” He turned his back and walked away from me. My breath caught and my eyes burned with tears. I had to get out of there so I ran back upstairs and slid into a small tool room. I was sobbing now and could barely catch my breath until I heard something fall to the ground. I stopped instantly and looked around for the object. When I saw feet I nearly fainted. “Who is there?” The feet tucked up and out of view. “I won’t hurt you, are you ill?” I rounded a corner and saw a Chinese gentleman curled up on the floor in the corner. “Oh my God, are you alright?” The man was skin and bones, looking near death and incoherent. I ran for water and helped him sip it slowly. There was little improvement until I gave him food. He was starving. 

I kept bringing part of my food each day and Yi Tien Cho grew stronger. Within days he was standing and smiling. Jaime continued to worsen so I cried a lot in front of him. “Please, I help the man.” I looked up with hope. “Do you think you can help him? As soon as it’s dark I will come for you!” 

He looked at Jaime, smelled his wrist, felt his head, pinched his skin, and smiled. “I will fix him,” he said with confidence. He pulled a package out of his pack and unrolled it showing multiple long needles. He pulled one out and with the other hand felt Jaime’s face then twisted the needle into his skin. My eyes were huge, only my desperation allowed this to continue. Poor Jaime hardly moved he was so weak. There were ten needles in Jaime’s face when Murtagh knocked. 

I opened the door a crack and Murtagh asked about Jaime. I thought about saying nothing but opened the door and watched Murtagh's face go from shock to savage. “Helpin him along are ye lass?” I went to Jaime’s side. He looked like he would never open his eyes again and I wept with my soul. When I looked up Murtagh was gone and the needles were out of Jaime’s face. It was time for me to leave this place for today. I begged Yi Tien Cho to stay in the room with him. He agreed. I heard the metallic click of my alarm clock and ran behind the dressing screen. 

When I opened my eyes I was in my B&B bedroom naked like all other days I wore garments from that century. My clothes could go there but not vis versa. To avoid running out of clothes I slept naked and dressed quickly when I awoke on the ship. I wrapped my robe around me and twisted my hands while I paced my room. I didn’t need medical training to realize Jaime was in a coma from starvation and too sick to recover. I was gulping air as the sobs took hold of me. I faced the possibility that Jaime could die in the night and I wouldn’t be there. Oh my God, my poor Jaime. I felt my knees hit the floor and I prayed to my parents God to save him. I begged, and promised, and begged some more. 

The guys were on assignment, not to return for five more days. I felt utterly alone on the ship and almost as bad here. Fiona would come to my room and pull me out for meals or a coffee, otherwise, I sat in my room and waited for the day to end. I looked at my alarm clock and five minutes had gone by. I had to get out of this room so I dressed and ran for the jeep. I considered a trip to Leoch castle but found myself parking in the old door yard of Lallybroch. It was all cleaned up but I barely noticed. 

A door had been installed at the kitchen. It was open so I wandered through the lower floors seeing each room as it was the day we sailed for France. I finally gave in to my real intention of getting to Jaime’s room. The debris from both floors had been removed and little notes were here and there signed by the banker who ordered the job and paid for it, with bank money no doubt. I didn’t read them because I didn’t care. I laid on the floor with my head on the board above the secret chamber. My sobbing burst out of me and I was helpless to stop until I was completely exhausted and empty. I touched the wood plank and remembered Jaime counting them with me. I felt like I was dying from grief. After a while, I pulled myself up to wander through the house again before driving back to Edinburgh. 

When I returned to the B&B Fiona handed me a large envelope from Dr. Randall. In my room, I pulled out sheets of print and hand-drawn pictures of six men hung to death. Randall had written their names under the dangling feet. Master Raymon was among them. I read the text and names over and over until they were committed to memory. I did not think paper would survive my journey and felt secure with the information in my head. I was so grateful to lay down in my bed and turn off the light. I’m coming my love. Please hold on, please Jaime don’t leave me. Almost asleep I exploded out of the bed and switched the light on. Remembering I would materialize with Yi Tien Cho in the room I dressed quickly and went back to bed. 

I opened my eyes in the pitch dark and laid perfectly still. I could hear Jaime breathing and it wasn’t as labored as yesterday. My heart was racing and I wanted so badly to get up but how to explain this to Yi Tien Cho. No possible way to hide it. I sat up carefully and ran my fingers through Jaime’s hair. I whispered all my love to him with tears falling to the bed. When a hand wrapped around my arm I jumped out of my skin. “Dinna cry Sassenach, ye break my heart. I am fighting mo chaileagan milis and I willna leave ye.” It was the first I had heard his voice in ten days and I kissed his face over and over. “One hundred kisses for you my love.” His voice was low but I heard it, “and a thousand more.”

When Jaime was asleep again I hurried to dress and wondered where Yi Tien Cho was. I looked around for Murtagh and found him on deck with the healer. Dawn was just peaking on the horizon and I twirled around in circles with a huge smile and looked at heaven. “Thank you,” I breathed. 

Jaime continued to get stronger and three days later he managed to get up on deck for some fresh air. I could see he was tiring and offered my lap. “I’m grateful mo chridhe, I hate that little room of death.” He wrapped his arms around my waist and I ran my fingers through his hair until he was asleep. The crew was aware of the dying passenger and they were very quiet when passing us. Murtagh laughed when I explained how sweet they were. “It’s bad luck to lose a trusting passenger and they just want to avoid that lass”

That was my breaking point. “Why Murtagh?” He looked at me with the usual scowl and said nothing. “Why Murtagh do you hate me now? You look like you could kill me most of the time and you won’t even answer my questions. What has happened?” I was pleading as best I could without waking Jaime. My mouth fell open when Murtagh turned around and walked away. Not so long ago he walked me down the aisle, plucked me out of the woods when I was lost, championed me with the witch. Now he was intent on breaking my heart. “ Mo ciad-bhean, ye too small for so many tears. I fear ye will dry up and blow away before I’m strong enough to hold ye down. What troubles ye lass?” I wiped my tears and looked at Jaime but he was already sleeping again. 

The needle treatments continued twice daily and Jaime’s recovery was nothing short of miraculous. By the end of the third week he was walking the length of the ship before passing out in my lap for the afternoon. Yi Tien Cho never mentioned my disappearing each night but was conveniently absent when I awoke next to Jaime every morning. Jaime was able to secure a hammock for the healer where Murtagh slept freeing him from the filthy tool room where he hid during the day. The only one who wasn’t improving was Murtagh who sulked in the corner and spoke to no one. 

The guys had returned to Edinburgh and decided to stay in the city until I crossed. We found a small sublet with two bedrooms and bid Fiona farewell for now. She hugged me so tight and I imagined it would feel the same with my own mother. There wasn’t a dry eye among the four of us. That feeling of parting started a dread in me about leaving Joe. The feeling of loss grew daily and I hugged him spontaneously throughout each day. Hold on tight for a minute and then release. I could do this. If he was awake early in the morning I would crawl into his lap and lay my head on his chest. He would just move the paper and keep reading. We didn’t talk about it but preparations were underway for both of us to say goodbye.

I opened my eyes in the dark cabin and smiled when I heard Jaime breathing. My breath caught when I felt the lightest touch on my shoulder running down my arm. Like fairy wings on my hip and then down my leg. This continued for several minutes and not a word was spoken. My heart was ramming in my chest and I forced myself to breathe normally until his hand wrapped around my buttock and squeezed. I heard a moan from behind me. The hand rolled me to my back and the caressing started a new down my chest, around each breast and tips of my nipples. It floated down my stomach and tickled the soft skin at my core. “Jaime,” was all I could say. Being without him for three weeks I nearly combusted when he kissed me softly and pulled me close to him. He was naked and washed and warm and very erect. I felt a sudden shyness come over me. I wanted to touch him but I couldn’t. I did not know what to do.

“Lay still lassie, and let me touch ye. It has been so long since I felt my wife’s skin and made her shiver.” My body was shaking and I let out a ragged breath. He told me of his love for me and how my voice became his lifeline during the three weeks of sickness. “I knew death was comin for me but if I heard yer voice I wasn’t afraid anymore. I gave ye my heart and soul the night before the needles and ye took them so bravely. Before I could fall I felt cold metal screwin into my face and ye holding my hand. The very first needle numbed my whole right side and I felt some relief from the gripping stomach. I was completely numb with all the needles and my body didn’t churn and twist anymore. I was calm and knew I was saved … by you. The next night you stood in front of me in a dream I think. You handed me my heart and soul and said ‘you’re gonna need these.’ From that moment until this one I have thought of only one thing. Havin yer body respond to my touch, yer lips beggin me to love ye, yer surrender and yer desire for me. I love ye and I need to feel ye grip me, scratch me when yer mind is gone, and open yerself to me. While he talked into my ear he sucked my breasts and teased me until my hips would raise up seeking attention. I was lost in my erotic fog that was pulsing and hungry. 

My brain was screaming for me to stop because he was too weak. Finally, I snapped out of his control and sat up. I pushed him down on his back and ran my hands over the skin I knew I could never forget. So grateful to feel it again. So happy to suck his nipple and flick my tongue. I laid on him and felt his skin touch mine from my chest to my toes. I kissed him with my tongue and caresses his magnificent arse. I was losing control and pressed against him with my hips. Kissing and sucking everywhere I could reach. His hands gripped my waist and pulled me up to straddle him. I guided him into my wetness and eased down on him. He gasped and I rocked him back and forth. His thumb caressed me and I rocked him harder. “Harder love,” he gasped. My hunger for him was enormous and I could not stop. He sat up so we were face to face. Hooking his arms through mine he held my shoulders and pressed me down hard forcing his erection deep inside me. I felt the wave hit me hard and I opened my legs as he pushed deeper inside me. I heard him groan low and long as my pulsing muscles gripped him. I drifted back to my senses in a bubble of love for this man. Never have I been so sure of where I belonged.

He pulled me to the bed and wrapped himself around me panting in my ear. “This is the hardest two months of the rest of our lives mo ciad-bhean. You are my heart and I am your home. My children play in your eyes and ye feel our future when I touch ye. Ye say I promised ye in another lifetime. I wonder, my dearest love, how I could ever leave ye.” He laid his head down next to my ear. I felt hot tears running down from the corners of my eyes. I moved to wipe them away and saw that Jaime was deep in sleep already. The dawn poured light into the porthole of our room. I laid next to him watching him sleep until mid-morning. I just couldn’t look away.


	29. France

At long last, on May the eighth, we saw the land mass of France. I was so excited to get off this ship and start looking for Master Raymon. Jamie reeled me in a bit, “Sassenach, we must find my uncle today and hope that he opens his home to us. He imports liquor and has a warehouse by the water. We’ll find him there.” 

Jamie was getting stronger by the day however our lovemaking kept him in bed for two days so we had not dared repeat that folly. He would hold me in the mornings when he felt me beside him and that was the extent of it. I missed that part of our lives for the simple reason that we only shared it with each other, no one else. 

We stood at the rail and watched the continent get bigger. Jaime wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me close, kissing me at the base of my neck. He was studying me and looked brazenly at my front and back. “Ye look bonnie in that dress Sassenach. Dinna wander off from me at the wharf or someone will grab ye.” I’m sure it was a blush I felt on my cheeks. Jenny and her friends prepared four dresses for me and I saved this one for meeting Jaime’s uncle. It was a bright yellow with a foot split in front that showed the underskirt of embroidered flowers. The top was tight with long lace around the elbow sleeves and deep neckline. I felt pretty in it and Jaime was acting like a bumblebee with a ripe flower. I felt his finger caress my cheek. “Sassenach” I looked up at his smoldering eyes and my breath caught. “Come lass, let’s get ye below and out of this sun before ye burn.” It seemed like seconds when I heard the stateroom door close behind us.

I was standing in the middle of the room and felt that strange shyness creep into me. The room was so small that I could hardly move with my skirts and bum roll, lest I send our things crashing to the floor. I was locked into his beautiful gaze feeling my heart race. “I need you like I need air to breathe,” I said. My voice sounded so small and now my eyes were glued to the floor. He considered me for a long minute. Just stared at me with his back against the door. His first step startled me and he stopped. “Are ye afraid of hurtin me lass?” I nodded my head yes. “Are ye afraid of the need ye have for me lass?” My corset was making it very hard to breathe and I started to feel dizzy. “Maybe.” He took another step and I resisted the urge to step backward. “I prefer ye to look at me mo chridhe.” Another step. “It may help ye to know ye won’t leave this room until I have my fill of ye.” He was an inch in front of me and lifted my chin for a soft kiss. I had reached the limit of my corset and desperately needed more air before I fainted. “Jaime, I can’t breathe, please loosen my corset.” He pulled me tight against him and his fingers released the laces of my top, reached under and pulled the laces of the corset. I expanded my lungs a little more. Jaime sat on the chair and turned me around. He intended to make me suffer and my toes curled in anticipation. 

With great care, he released my skirts and lifted them to the table. He pulled the top off of me and gasped at the satin corset and deeply cut panties. My breasts were exposed. He held my hips and looked at me for a full minute before he slowly pulled the laces out. Every vacated eyelet allowed a deeper breath and my dizziness was cured. The corset hit the floor and Jaime’s hands ran from my shoulders to my arse. He pulled my hips toward him, “sit on my lap lass.” I sat with my back against his chest and felt his granite erection under me. His hands held my breasts so softly, fingers brushed across my nipples making me squirm. He pinched them both and shook them hard. “Oh! Christ Jaime.” He moaned a chuckle behind me as his hands pulled my knees apart. He played with the panties running his fingers under the fabric and wrapping his hand around me until I could feel his fingertip at my entrance. He moved it slightly and I shivered a moan. “Ye drippin honey lass.” Through my fog, I asked, “take them off.” His finger slid up and pressed against my throbbing. “That works!” I squirmed moaning for him. 

He lifted me to sit in the chair alone and walked in front of me. On his knees, he pulled my hips forward and lifted my legs over his shoulders. In this position, I could clearly see my pussy in front of his face and I was aroused by it. He pulled my panties down and let me slip each let out. He dropped his mouth to me, “watch me Sassenach,” he whispered. I could not look away. I saw his tongue slip into me deeply and I gasped. In and out he teased and I watched this erotic play with a growing need. He pressed his tongue flat against me and caressed my throbbing sending me so close orgasm before he stopped. I moaned in protest as he stood and released his kilt pushing himself into my mouth over and over. He tilted my head by my hair so he could see, “Christ lass!” He filled my mouth to my throat and stopped. Back on his knees pulling my legs over his shoulders again. My head was spinning. I wanted him back in my mouth. He sucked and flicked me, pushing me into the sweet tornado of release. I screamed his name and clung to his head. Somewhere in the fog I was lifted to the bed and kissed awake. “Come back to me lass. I canna hold the beast back.” He slipped into me and I lifted my legs around his waist pushing him into me. He thrust deeply and ground against me with a force that pulled my heat back up, demanding his attention. I knew he was so close. “No, I want to feel ye come when I’m in ye.” He pushed away from me and let his tongue bring me to full arousal until I was moaning with need. I felt him thrust into me again over and over until I was spun into oblivion again. One more thrust and he groaned deeply and he shook with release. He stayed pressed against me until his body was quiet. He dropped to my side pulling me tight against him. Through his panting I heard, “I love ye lass.”

We kissed and napped and kissed some more. I was so happy to be this close to my husband again. I no longer cared about disembarking or finding Master Raymon or meeting Jaime’s uncle. This tiny bed was my whole world at the moment. Jaime slept in my arms and I forced back the tears of relief and gratitude and just held him tighter. I slipped in and out of sleep feeling Jaime tighten his hold on me before his breathing became deep again. 

There were footsteps and excited talking outside our room, and above us. Many people were moving toward the deck. I ran my hands down Jaime’s back until he roused. He pushed his face into my neck and curls giving me tiny kisses. His hand ran up my skin to my breast and he played with my nipple. “I need ye again lass.” I grabbed his hand and laughed. “It’s time to get off this bloody boat love. We’re in port.” His mouth sucked my nipple until I screamed. “Later mo chridhe.” His deep kiss made me breathless before he extracted his large body from the bed one limb at a time. I ran a comb through my hair and pinned the sides at the crown leaving it to hang down my back. Jaime assisted with getting me back into the corset and watched me pull the panties up over my thighs. He just stared at them until I hastily stepped into the skirts and turned around for him to tie them at my waist. At last, he pulled the laces of the jacket and kissed my neck several times moving around me and pulling me close. A banging on the door followed by Murtagh’s bellow to get on deck broke the sexual tension. “Ye have the most beautiful rose blush on yer cheeks Sassenach.” Smoothing my skirts I opened the door. 

The waterfront loomed large when I reached the deck and people were disembarking while the hands removed trucks to the ground below. There was quite a long pier and I looked at Jaime with concern for his stamina. He pulled me close smiling, “I’ve never felt better lass.” We walked slowly down the pier but my excitement was barely contained. I was looking at France 200 years before my time. Before the revolution devastated the monarchy and blood ran in the streets. I twirled with my face to the sky smiling. “When ye do that I know ye’re happy,” he said laughing. I hugged his waist but could not stop smiling. 

Murtagh stayed ten feet behind us down the pier and through the waterfront as we searched for the uncle’s warehouse. I looked with growing concern at Jaime knowing he was ready to collapse. I looked sharply at Murtagh and suggested he find the warehouse so Jaime could rest. I pulled Jaime into a pub and ordered stout beer and peanuts. A pint of beer did wonders and the color was returning to his cheeks when Murtagh announced he had found the warehouse. “I hope it’s not too far Murtagh.” I could hardly be civil to him anymore because he had not shown me a kindness in over a month. 

“Uncle! Jaime’s voice was strong and confident. A nice looking gentleman turned around with brows raised appraising Jaime. His face broke into a wide smile and he rushed to us hugging Jaime, bowing over my kissed hand, and bowing to Murtagh. He was delighted to see his nephew and meet the rest of us, our surprising visit was instantly forgiven. Jaime’s arm grew heavy on my shoulder and I knew he struggled to stay on his feet. I became alarmed when I looked up at his white face. “Jaime you must sit before you fall.” I looked around for a chair or something of that height. His uncle looked closely at him and whistled for his men to order the carriage with haste. We pushed Jaime to a chair until the carriage pulled up. Murtagh stared at his godson but the scowl never left his face.   
I helped Jaime to bed in a sumptuous room at his uncle’s palace. The servants outnumbered us five to one bringing soup and ale to our room and fetching anything else we needed. I was so grateful and let them know it. I found them to be kind and warm. 

When the door finally closed I flew to Jaime and laid next to him. I had a cold cloth and bathed his face and arms. He sighed deeply and looked at me with his eyes full of love. “I’m sorry lass, I feel I must stay here for a while.” My eyes were burning with tears as I kissed his face over and over. “How can I help you love.” He did not respond in his deep sleep so I watched him until I could no longer resist going downstairs. I marveled at the richly decorated halls and grand rooms. The furniture was exquisite as were the flowing drapes and marble floors. Liquor was a very good business I concluded.

“My dear Claire, please sit with me so I can know ye better.” I noticed Murtagh was up and gone before I sat down. “Please, fill me in on yer wedding, how ye met, the state of Lallybroch and Jenny.” He was so genuine and kind with a true interest and concern for his nephew. I loved him immediately. We talked together for the better part of the afternoon. I was getting nervous about disappearing and feigned fatigue excusing myself to the bedroom for a nap before dinner. He smiled at me and graciously excused me to my nap, adding he would be attending an event this evening that would keep him until midday tomorrow. Well, safe for tonight’s disappearance anyway, I thought. He offered our use of the clothing in the closets. Kept for the use of overnight visitors. “I believe you will find all that you need or ask the maid to find you something suitable.”

I took the stairs two at a time, pushed by my worry for Jaime. When I entered the room he was still asleep. I opened the closets and jumped up and down at the feast of garments within. “Oh, my God,” I breathed as I ran my hand down exquisite silks, satin, chiffon, and linen. I pulled out a dressing gown that hid nothing underneath the soft sheer fabric. The color was deep purple and tied at the waist. I looked at my reflection and twirled around watching the fabric come to rest at the floor. I unpinned my hair and fluffed it letting it spill around my shoulders. I climbed up on the bed and laid next to my sleeping husband. 

I drifted to sleep and dreamed I was running down a train platform looking for my train. I was very afraid I was too late and felt the adrenaline coursing through my body. My suitcase was so heavy I could hardly lift it, slowing my progress. The train was starting to move and I looked up in horror seeing Jaime looking out at me. I jerked awake feeling hands pulling the tie of my gown. Warm hands touched the fabric before moving it aside exposing my naked body. I feigned sleep and found the rouse to be highly erotic. I worried about Jaime’s strength and regretfully moved his hand to the bed. 

“Wake for me lass. Ye canna deny me what is mine.” I rolled to my other side showing him my back and hoping sleep would take him again. He lifted my leg and I felt his sharp whiskers scratch my inner thigh followed by his warm tongue seeking my heat. I forced myself not to move although it was nearly impossible. “Jaime…” He was becoming so good with this tongue I did not stand a chance. I moaned and my hips moved against him. He had slipped two fingers in me and coaxed my climax with his sucking and thrusting. “Come for me lass.” My moan started low and continued as I smashed into orgasm riding his face until I could stand no more contact. He moved up to my side and I held him tightly. “Come in my mouth love, please.” He bunched pillows behind me and pulled me up against the headboard. Straddling me I pulled his giant erection into my mouth. He was on his knees watching me and I let him set the tempo. My hand came up and twisted him as he slid out of my mouth and he gasped when he pushed back to my throat. This was so highly erotic to me my hips were moving in time with his pushing into my mouth. I felt his fingers touch me and I pushed him deeper against my throat. His fingers brought me swiftly to climax and he pushed deep into my throat as I swallowed over and over again until he collapsed next to me.

He pushed my head under his chin and held me tightly. We both slept in a loving peace so grateful to be this close again. I blinked sometime later and looked at my twentieth-century room. I closed my eyes fighting the sadness that always came with my return. I threw on sweats and a t-shirt and made my way to the kitchen to make coffee. We agreed to another trip to Craigh na Dun if the weather was nice and it was a glorious spring morning in Edinburgh today. I thought about my empty depression upon waking in my own time and realized it was no longer a choice to enter the stones. No matter how menacing they were I would not be kept away from Jaime. Nothing mattered more and the resolve gave me a bit of peace. 

The last swallow of my bagel started my stomach churning which quickly became a sprint to the bathroom before I emptied my stomach violently into the toilet. I sat down on the tub side and wiped my mouth squirming with disgust. Filling my mouth with water I ran my toothbrush across my teeth until I couldn’t taste the vomit anymore. “Are you alright pet?” I looked at my white face in the mirror, “yep, I’m fine, didn’t like the bagel I just ate.” I wiped the sweat off my forehead and opened the door running right into Joe who was leaning against the door frame. “What the hell Joe?” He looked down at me, “what the hell indeed.” He backed away letting me walk quickly to the to the couch. I could feel his eyes burning a hole in my back as I walked away. 

I packed a picnic for our ride to the stones and off we went. The top was off the jeep and I laid back on my soft pack to enjoy the ride. I felt Joe’s warm hand nudging me awake and it seemed like I had been asleep for hours. He looked at me strangely making me feel weird. “What are you looking at you idiot?” I jumped out of the jeep and started walking up the hill, propelled by a need to avoid Joe’s scrutiny. I didn’t remember to be scared until I was on the top staring at huge stones standing ten to fifteen feet high. I was frozen. Joe was yelling for me to not touch the stones. Finally he and Baritone were on either side of me. “Do you hear that buzzing?” I was holding my ears. They both looked at me like I was crazy. 

I couldn’t stand the loud buzzing so I started the descent back to the jeep. When I was finally out of range my ears continued to ring until I laid down in the back of the jeep and fell asleep again. The next nudge was at our house and Joe was shoving a box in my hand. I looked quickly at the box, “is this some kind of joke?” “Only if you deem it so pet. Myself, I regard this as a serious matter.” With that, he turned toward the house. I couldn’t believe my eyes. What would I be doing with a home pregnancy test?


	30. God's Gift

I felt lightheaded staring at the box in my hand. So I stood in the driveway and read every word as if to give my inner mind time to absorb what this was. The instructions were very simple but I needed a moment to be totally mental. In that moment, I went inside myself and spoke to my growing baby. I apologized first for not realizing it was inside me and explained I have not been myself the past two months, what with time travel and everything. I felt my feet walking somewhere but was too engrossed with my newest and precious love to care. ‘How do you do sweet love. I am your mother. My body will feed you and provide all you need to grow until you are big enough to join us. I love you with an intensity I have never felt before and I have only known you for five minutes. We have much to go over you and I but that can wait. We will share this body for almost a year and have much time to talk and plan.

Your father, my husband, does not know about you yet. He is sleeping far, far away. I can hardly wait to tell him you are here, growing inside me. He will be over the moon. You were conceived from true love. It is very rare in this world and magic surrounds it. You are God’s gift to your father, a most courageous and self-sacrificing man. He gave up his life for you once and God is giving him back his precious one. He is noble and brave. He is our hero and you will be so loved by him. His name is Jaime and my name is Claire. I cannot wait to hear your name. 

“Did you know pet?” Joe’s voice broke through my daydream. I looked up at him and heard his breath catch. “Oh my God, you didn’t know, but you do now. You are the most beautiful soul alive right now pet. The look in your eyes makes me want to cry and I don’t know why.” 

‘That is Joe Abernathy sweet one, my dearest friend. I will leave his world soon to join your father permanently in Scotland, 200 years in the past. All made possible by the magic that surrounds true love. How old are you baby? Ten weeks! Well, time for Brussel sprouts and protein, and no more corsets. Thank you for that by the way. Joe is pulling me toward home. Almost time to meet your da my sweet.’

Joe walked me into the house where Baritone was waiting like he was standing on sharp pins. “Well?” He looked at Joe. “Look at her babe, our girl is pregnant with a two-hundred-year-old baby!” Baritone picked me up and swung me around. I could feel his genuine happiness right before my genuine call to vomit. Just barely made it to the toilet. How many times had I vomited in the past few weeks? I didn’t care if it was all day every day. Such a small price to pay for a life growing inside me. Deep yawning made it hard to rinse my mouth and brush my teeth. My feet were heavy walking to my room and I cannot remember my head hitting the pillow.

The room was dark except for a lantern on the table turned down low. That was very strange for Jaime to keep some light in the room. “My Sassenach, are ye well?” His voice shook with tears and I flipped to look at him. “Sweet Jaime! What is it? What has happened?” He pulled me to him and I heard him cry. My heart was racing with fear. What had happened to him? I tried to rise and turn the lamp up but he would not release me. He pressed his forehead to mine and I held his cheeks. “What love? Please tell me.” He looked at me and my heart shattered at the fear and sadness within. 

“Ye came to me in a dream tonight. There was light all around ye. So beautiful ye were…but ye were just a tiny bairn. You spoke of yer birth and meeting me. I understood this to mean a different lifetime for us, not this one. All this night, since waking from the dream, I have prayed to see ye again. I’m so glad ye here Sassenach we have much to say.” My heart broke for him. “Oh my God,” I breathed. “Oh my God, sweet Jaime! It wasn’t me who spoke in your dream!” I kissed him over and over, I wiped his eyes, my heart was bursting with love for him, for the universe, for his promise. With my mouth to his ear I said, “it was our baby who spoke in your dream love. Our baby came to find you in your dreams. The magic never ends."

Jaime held both of my hands in one of his and used the other to turn up the lamp. He hesitated a moment looking into the light and then turned his head slowly to look at me like I might vanish in thin air. I saw his tears streaming anew and touched his face feeling my own tears. “Say it again, lass” he whispered. “Our baby came to meet you in your dreams tonight.” He looked at me suddenly and touched his cheek for a moment. I knew he had been kissed by the child. His smile broke out and split his face. His eyes were the brightest I had ever seen them. His arms came around me and pulled me into his lap. I thought he might burst at the seems until he stood up and twirled me around and around laughing loud enough to wake the household. “Stop Jaime!” I ran for the chamber pot.

I came back to the bed but Jaime had pulled a gown from the closet and was fastening a corset around me. He rubbed my naked abdomen and I heard him whisper a Gallic prayer and cross himself. I was helpless to move as I witnessed his pledge to the child within me. I didn’t need to know the words I could read it in his eyes. He dropped to his knees and kissed me. He continued to speak in his language, to a future child, the heart he had lost when he laid down his life in battle.

“Jaime love, why do I have a corset on?” He looked up at me like I was a goddess. “Walk!” was all he said. I let him dress me and then himself. His arm wrapped around my waist and he guided me to the grand staircase. We walked the streets of Paris in a bubble of love. The dawn was peeking on the horizon and we walked until the sun had risen and shown it’s light on the city of love. We talked about every subject in our world, laughing and changing subjects on a whim. It was like a walk in the clouds.

There was a lovely park where we stopped to sit in the grass. I leaned against a large shade tree and Jaime laid in my lap. We chose the room at Lallybroch that would become the nursery and decorated it with a cradle for our child and one for Jenny’s. “We will raise our families together mo gradhag!” I ran my fingers through his hair. “What else did our child say to you Jaime?” He sprang up from my lap suddenly, “it’s a lassie Claire!” I smiled because I already knew she was a girl and Jaime’s happiness at her sex meant everything to me. “Did she kiss you here?” I asked touching his cheek. His eyes were misty and full of wonder, he touched his cheek and said “she kissed me here, and called me da.” His tears were falling.

“Sassenach! What have I done? We must get ye to bed, not be out in the morning chill. I’m sorry lass!” He stood and helped me up, looking wildly for a carriage. “Jaime, my hand pulled his head to my direction. I am young and healthy and strong. I will not take to my bed as we have work to do. I get tired several times a day. I promise to rest when I need to. You must promise to trust in that. Do we have an accord?” He pulled my chin up and kissed me deeply. I moaned into his mouth. “What about?” His eyebrows were raised in question. I smiled, “I will have you right here in the park if we don’t get home soon,” I promised. Jaime waved frantically for a carriage to hire. His kisses were sexy, and hot on the way home. His hand pulled my skirts up to my waist and he was on his knees, pushing my legs open and driving his hot tongue into me. He yanked the neckline of my dress to the side exposing my breast and nipple. He grabbed my back and pulled me down to his mouth sucking my nipple until I screamed. I was oblivious to the carriage driver. My release and Jaime’s cock were my entire focus at the moment. He continued to pull at my dress until I was spread on the bench in front of his mouth and half naked. I screamed his name when he pushed me over the edge and I fell so slowly back to him.

My eyes opened to a strong hand holding my hair. He tilted my head back to look at his burning eyes. “My darling Sassenach, open yer mouth.” He pushed himself into my mouth to the back of my throat and held me there. I moaned until he let me move. Paris was busy with the morning commute, carriages and horsemen clogged the streets. As the curtains swayed from the rough road, certain riders would glimpse the intimate scene as Jaime slid in and out of my lips. Jaime threw my skirts up and caressed me as we moved down the boulevard. I knew he was close and looked up at him. He yanked me away throwing my skirts down around my legs and fixing his suit. He sat next to me on the bench and drummed his fingers on his leg. My chest was heaving trying to catch my breath. I looked at him, “Jaime..” He pulled me into his face and kissed me senseless. “Two minutes my love.”

The door swung open to the ever efficient butler who smiled initially until he felt the wave of sexual energy blast him. He stepped back and opened the door smiling, Jaime picked me up and took the stairs at a run until our bedroom door was closed. He set me down, leaning against the door and breathing heavy. “Off love, slowly if ye please.” He laid on the bed, his hooded eyes following my every move. I removed each layer carefully, watching him watch me. I backed up to him and felt the laces pull and the corset fall. I bent deeply at the waist to remove my shoes and retrieve the corset. His hand slipped between my upper thighs and I gasped. “Continue,” he whispered. I sat in front of him and lifted my leg to roll the stockings off. He stared between my legs as I rolled the second one off. “I love you Jaime” I whispered and ran my finger down my tongue. Opening my legs I slipped my wet finger into my fold. “I want you to touch me here… please?

He was a blur of movement as he laid me back on the mattress, hips to the edge. He pulled my legs up against his chest and pushed into me while standing. “Jesus Jaime, please, no more teasing.” Suddenly, his face lost all color and I looked at him in horror. “What is it sweetheart?”

He slipped out of me pulling my kegs down to the mattress. He covered me with the quilt and his face was like stone. “Jaime! What is it?” He said not a word but slid under the quilt next to me and pulled me to him. He stared straight ahead and cocooned me in his warmth. “I do not wish to hurt you or the bairn mo chridhe.” I wrapped my arms around his waist and smiled to myself. This man had quite a night and was no doubt aching for release as I was. He was leaning against the headboard holding me. Like a sentry. I loved him so. I waited and let my breathing deepen. As Jaime slipped into unconsciousness I moved silently and straddled him quickly, pushing him into me and grinding down on him. His lungs filled with air and his hands held my hips pushing and pulling. His movements were slow and he watched me move on top of him. “I canna hurt ye love” I ground down on him. I was breathing heavy and twisting his nipples. “I want you Jaime.” I opened my legs and ground into him again. His hands stilled my hips and he looked in my eyes. “Do you trust me Jaime?” He was looking from my eyes to the spread of my legs grinding him deeper into me. “Aye,” he spun me into the mattress and pushed into me. I let out a long low moan with pictures of our erotic carriage ride forcing my legs open, gripping his hair, saying his name as he pounded into me. He kissed me deeply and battered me as my legs came up into the air and I was yanked into the heavens, my body gripping him and pulsing. I was set down into the arms of my love.“Best date ever…” I whispered. I felt his lips on my ear, “the date for what mo chaileagan milis?”


	31. Master Raymon

Jaime and I entered the dining room for brunch and talked with some of the staff about Master Raymon’s apothecary shop. The footman knew right where to take us. 

“Where the hell is Murtagh?” Jaime was looking around slightly irritated. “I havna seen him since we arrived yesterday.” Two of the servants were snickering behind their hands making Jaime approach them. “Do ye ladies ken where my godfather is hidin?” One of the young girls suggested he check with Suzette and off he went with a purposeful stride. I was already exhausted and gladly sank into a plush dining chair to be served breakfast. Time travel, pregnancy, walking through Paris and hot sex made me crave tons of food and a long nap. Until we found Raymon there would be no rest. 

Jamie returned to the dining room with a blush stuck on his cheeks. He grabbed a plate and piled on enough food for three people. I thought he was cross after having words with Murtagh but when I finally caught his eye I saw embarrassment. Now I was really stumped. He sat down and started eating but kept his eyes down. 

“Jaime, what happened with Murtagh?” He looked mortified, “ah, he is indisposed with your chamber made Suzette. I dinna ken when we will see him again Sassenach.” I could not imagine what duty would keep Murtagh busy with the maid. It took about ten seconds before my mouth dropped open and my eyebrows shot up. “Murtagh and ...” Jaime nodded his head but still would not look me in the eye. “And you walked in on them sweetheart?” He nodded again. 

After breakfast, we changed into suitable clothing for shopping and socializing and left for the carriage. I was fascinated with the streets of Paris two centuries in the past. It could not have been more different than modern day Paris. The carriage door opened and the driver pointed to the apothecary. My heart started to race and I felt a bit lightheaded. “Sassenach, are ye well?” I gripped his arm and tried to take deep breaths to stem the nausea. We pushed on. 

I heard the bell above the door and looked up at a full-grown alligator suspended from the ceiling.   
The shop smelled heavenly and I looked around with facilitation. A beautiful young woman greeted us and I asked for Master Raymon but she did not understand. Jaime asked her the same question in fluent French and I was stunned. I looked up at him and smiled. “Who would have thought such a handsome man could speak French?” He smiled shyly. “I speak Greek and Latin too mo graidgh.” 

The woman emerged from a back room followed by a short man with a clever look to his face. We were introduced to Master Raymon, the man who held the key to my future with Jaime. He bowed to Jaime and considered me with a smile, “Madonna. What brings you to my humble shop?” Suddenly I was seized with uncertainty. Why hadn’t we prepared our approach to this matter? What should we say to avoid chasing this man away forever? Jaime cleared his throat, “may we speak freely sir?” Raymon watched as shoppers approached the apothecary. “Let us retire to my office, away from distractions.” He turned around and walked behind the register desk and out of sight. A minute went by and Raymond emerged, “you will want to follow me.”

We were led to a back room as large as the shop itself. Raymon offered me a chair and then stood back and waited. “Please forgive the intrusion sir, we have come to warn ye of impending action of the crown against the Apothecary shop owners in the city.” I was impressed with the statement and relieved that one of us, at least, had thought about how to broach the subject. Raymon’s face and demeanor were unaffected. He smiled at Jaime,” of course sir, I want to hear all about it. But first, I wonder if I could trouble you to raise your shirt in the back?” Jaime’s eyebrows shot up, “sir?” Raymon walked behind him and asked if Jaime would show his back. He looked at me with a questioning face and I nodded for him to comply. Jaime lifted his coat and shirt to expose his back. Raymon addressed us, “a seemingly benign decision to take one path over the other can have consequences that can scar us for life, or deliver us unharmed.” He offered no other explanation of his request to examine Jaime’s back. Instead, he came to stand in front of me and took my hand. When he touched me my breath caught and looking into his eyes I said, “it is so good to see you again my friend.” He held my eyes with his smiling eyes for a full minute and I felt overjoyed to be in his presence suddenly. “Do you require a mixture to help with nausea Madonna?” I felt my head snap up like I had been hypnotized.

“I ah, I, I’m sorry, I feel quite strange at the moment,” I stammered. Raymon seemed to understand that Jaime and I were quite at his mercy to lead us back to our stated reason for visiting. “What was it you would like to tell me about the king’s inquiry?” 

Jaime shook his head slightly as if he was emerging from a trance himself. I started to feel fearful that we were being led by someone far more informed than we were. Jaime spoke, “we have it on good authority that you and five others will face trial for witchcraft and…” Jaime’s paused for words. “That you will be convicted and hang in five days time,” I said. My voice was so small I wasn’t sure either man heard me. I could not look up at Raymon. I could only breathe and try to calm my racing heart.

Raymond stood still for several minutes, considering my disclosure I suspect. I finally looked up at him and was shocked to see him staring at me with the most compassionate eyes, almost like love. “Why have you come Madonna?” Before I could think of an answer I said “because this is what friends do for each other. I can help save you Master Raymon.” My eyes were locked on his and try as I might I could not look away. He approached me and took my hand. When he looked away I heard a loud snap! I stood quickly and reached for Jaime’s arm. 

Raymon regarded us, “I appreciate your concern and the message you bring. The king will change his pursuit in due time, the danger will pass.” He looked around and reached for a black object which he shook briefly. “We will ask the bones,” he said. Pulling a zebra skin across a tabletop he threw the contents of bones across to settle where they may. He eyed the spread critically as he walked around the table. “The bones tell us the danger will pass and Paris will sleep in regard to this issue for several more years. I am safe to remain in my business.” He held out his arm for us to leave the room and followed us out to the door. He held my hand gently and kissed it. “We will meet again Madonna, in this life or the next.” He looked at me like he had known me forever, like an old friend, and then retreated into the shop.

I was rooted to the ground feeling my lips were smiling but not by my conscious effort. “Come lass, ye look dead on yer feet.” Jaime’s arm came around me and guided me back to the carriage. I remained in that semi-conscious state of mind all the way home. My feet climbed the stairs and walked to the bed. I laid on my back with the corset pushing against my ribs and the bum roll pressed to my lower back. I felt so strange. So remote, until the first wet tear seeped out of my eye and rolled to my ear. I didn’t like feeling the wetness roll across my ear. Another tear seeped out of the other eye, rolling across the other ear. Seconds passed and both eyes were releasing fat tears continuously but I continued to gaze at the ceiling with the uncomfortable corset, bum roll, and tight jacket locking me in position. 

“My lass, dinna cry, we will go back, we will convince him there is danger. Please, mo chaileagan milis, I canna bear to see ye pain.” Jaime jumped into bed and gathered me, well, tried to gather me into his arms. The skirts, padding, and corset made that impossible. “This willna do, a nighean.” He stood and pulled me to my feet. I rose and stood before him, my tears rolling off my face to the floor. He removed my jacket, skirts, bum roll, and corset. Fetching a dressing gown from the closet, he wrapped it around me and turned me toward the bed. I laid down on my back again, relieved by the absence of constricting clothing.

I thought I was losing my mind. I decided I didn’t like this century. The clothes were horrible and women had no rights and couldn’t wear trousers. I missed Joe. I hated it here and hardly even knew Jaime. I was hasty falling in love with him and his family, and I didn’t belong here. .. I knew these were all lies to help me cope with the crushing loneliness of life without Jaime. Raymon did not want to leave Paris. We had not even mentioned time traveling two centuries. We failed. 

I felt the mattress sag and Jaime’s strong arms scoop me up. I laid across his chest and felt his arms around me. His body rocked me side to side and he spoke in Gallic, soothing me. I felt a comb go through my hair as Jaime coo’ed to me. A strangulated sound came from my mouth, followed by a devastating tidal wave of despair and grief that rocked me to the core. I cried from the depths of my soul and gripped Jaime’s arms. He wrapped himself around me and rocked, and I heard his tears join mine. “Dinna fash love, I will convince him to come. Rest in my arms until ye go back. I love ye lass.” I held him so tight wishing I never had to leave again. My fatigue was overwhelming me and I closed my eyes. 

I felt the kiss of an angel on my cheek and heard a beautiful voice whisper, “I am Faith.” I jerked awake and looked around my room. I thought about Jaime, alone in that bed, after such devastating news. When does any of this get easier I wondered. 

Joe was laying on the couch reading and I laid down between him and the back cushions. With my head on his chest, I asked him to read aloud and felt the vibration from deep within him. The subject was installation of a glucose pump in the submucosa of the anterior pancreas and suddenly I had a burning question. “Joe, can I live with you if I can’t get to Scotland?” He turned the page, “yes pet.” My eyes closed and I slept.

Raymon was quite unsettled by Claire’s visit. He did not see this coming nor did he doubt he would hang in five days time. The bones had clearly shown his imminent demise. He was swept away to another world seeing Claire’s face, and the love he felt for her came flooding back to him, making it hard to think. This was a much better path the lovers were on in this world and he would play some part but he knew not what. 

Raymon was in Paris to arrange certain special investments that would see him rich when he returned to his home. He would have to move fast to complete the transactions to purchase a small portfolio of properties in France. Each carefully researched for value over time, and sole ownership without heirs. Property that would be returned to the state upon the owner’s death because he had no family. Raymon would outbid the man history names as purchaser but his actions will not change the future. He already secured several properties in America that would gush gold in a hundred years or so. He decided to close on four properties tomorrow and start planning his exit from Paris. 

Joe held the book above Claire’s sleeping body and continued reading. She was such a nnat next to him but he would surely miss her. “How our girl?” Baritone said coming in the front door. “I should be so not okay with that!” Joe looked at him like he suddenly morphed into an alien. Joe tried in vain to control his laughing until he looked up at Baritone’s eyes bugging out, hands on his hips, and glasses perched precariously at the end of his nose. Joe surveyed the checked Armani shorts, red shirt and matching high tops. “Baby you are such a delightful queer, c’mere.” He held his arm out for his love and became the filling of this couch cookie. “Life is good. Right here.” Joe said and squeezed them both.


	32. Master Raymon and Claire

I wrapped my arms around Jaime and cuddled up to his back. He turned around and wrapped himself around me. “There is my love, my life, and my growing bairn.” He pressed his hand to my abdomen and his erection to my back. “I canna get enough of ye Sassenach,” he whispered into my ear with a husky voice. It sent shivers down my spine. His hand caressed me from shoulder to ankle and soft kissed were placed here and there. “Ah, what is this then?” he squeezed my breast and came around to suck it. He pushed my hands high above my head and kissed up from my nipple to my mouth. His kiss was soft and sweet but his tongue touched my lips lightly like a promise. “I missed ye mo chridhe, because I love ye, and need ye, so I can love ye some more. I tried to giggle but his hands had stolen my senses away. I heard myself panting and pushed him away to lay my own kisses up to his mouth and down to suck his nipples. He was so responsive to this and I loved building his fire. My kisses descended to his stomach and I stuck my tongue in his belly button hearing him grown. My hand caressed his balls but I carefully avoided his erection. I breathed onto the wet spot I left. He twisted toward me wanting pressure or touch or my pussy. I lifted his erection to my mouth and closed my lips around it pulling it toward my throat. He groaned deeply and his hands grabbed my legs pulling them toward him. Feeling him in my mouth is my weakness and a short trip to orgasm. I lost myself in gliding up and down his erection. I played with the tip until he lost it and pushed my head down on him to my throat. I felt him lift my hips and then his tongue slid into me. I gasped with his cock in my mouth. Jaime held my hips firmly and pushed his hips up. I was losing my mind with lust as Jaime licked and sucked. When I would get lost in the fog he would grab my hair and force me to pump him with my mouth. I could not hold out any longer and came with a moan as he pumped his cock into my mouth and released himself down my throat. “Jesus that was hot!” Jaime chuckled and pulled me to him. 

What do you do when you are sexually satisfied and lying in the arms of your true love? Kiss, stoke skin, say I love you, kiss some more, look into his intense eyes that hold the promise of a happy life, and kiss some more. We were late coming to the dining room for brunch. Jaime’s uncle was off to the warehouse and asked Jaime to accompany him for the morning. He kissed my forehead and was off. I pushed my food around the plate too distracted to eat. I decided to visit Master Raymon and would pay the consequences later. 

I dressed hastily not wanting my nerves to change my mind. Jaime would be upset because I went alone but I feared Master Raymon would not open up in front of him. The carriage was brought around and we departed to the apothecary shop. 

“I hope you will excuse the intrusion Master Raymon. I am compelled to seek answers to the feelings I had on our first visit.” I took a breath. “One feeling in particular,” Raymon looked into my eyes with a kind smile, “that we have known each other.” Raymon thought for a minute before answering. “Yes, Madonna, we have known each other and helped each other survive in times of peril. We were very close.” I was shocked at the admission. “I knew something was very wrong at our first meeting and thought it was some kind of hypnotic trick.” 

“I apologize Madonna, I took advantage and hypnotized you both, only for a few minutes, so I could speak with the Claire I knew.” His demeanor was calm and his smile seemed genuine in the storm of my emotions. I tried to slow my breathing and racing heart. “The Claire you knew is in me and can communicate?” He smiled, “as you are in her. “Did she live in the past? Has she died? How can she speak to you?” 

“ It is said that our universe exists within many copies of itself, identical down to the last stone. We exist in every world like copies of ourselves. Free will allows each individual to make his own decisions and choose his own direction. This is what creates the differences between the worlds. As our lives progress, our paths diverge and opportunities change. In your time this is referred to as the multiverse and explained with quantum mechanics.” I remembered seeing the word ‘multiverse’ on the cover of Time magazine once. How could this man know these things in the eighteenth century? “How do you know this?” 

“I lived as a Hermetic Monk for twenty years to learn the secrets of moving between planes and time. I have known you in two worlds and you are on a brighter path in this one. 

The notion of insanity had crossed my mind until I remembered that I travel through time every night and carry a two-hundred year old baby. I shook my head trying to absorb his words. “Sit down Madonna, I will tell you of my friend, Claire Fraser. Before I start may I ask what year you have come from?” Acting shocked or lying seemed a huge mistake at this point, “2018.” He nodded in recognition. Claire Fraser was a time traveler who accidentally fell through the stones at Craigh na Dunn and found her love, Jaime Fraser, in the year 1743. They married and came to France on a mission to change their destiny and live peacefully. Claire was with child, as you are now Madonna. Her husband was deeply involved with the Jacobite rebellion in Scotland. Claire knew the outcome of the Jacobite uprising and told him. He came here to use that knowledge and change history. There is a price for such madness. When he failed to prevent the uprising and the battle was at hand he sent his pregnant wife, you, back through the stones. He promised to find you again even if it meant 200 years in purgatory.” He met his end on the battlefield fighting the very war he tried to stop.”

This story can be distilled down to one thing. True love. It is everlasting, from one life to the other. It is a rare gift protected and bestowed by God I believe, to the truly deserving. Your husband is truly deserving. 

“My dream of Jaime pushing me to the stone even when I begged him to stay.” My hands were shaking and I suddenly felt faint. Master Raymon put a crystal in my hand and the symptoms disappeared. “How can I dream of those people, Jaime and Claire, from another world?” 

“Time is a process invented by men to explain their world. In reality, linear time does not exist. The future and the past are happening simultaneously and repeated on many planes. If it helps, you can think of yourself as a reincarnated Claire.” 

“My dreams about my baby, her name is Faith, are those real?” My voice was barely above a whisper. Master Raymon’s eyebrows shot up. “The child has spoken her name is Faith? Well, that is a miracle indeed and very much real my dear.” I was starting to relax a bit. “Why did you want to see Jaime’s back?” Raymon hesitated, “your husband’s path is easier in this life. He has not suffered at the hands of a tormentor that left scars on his back in another world. The paths taken by one or the other have kept them unknown to each other. 

Raymon shook his head, “I have kept you too long my dear, you need to rest.” Suddenly I was frantic to speak. “Master Raymon, I came to beg for your help. Please, you must listen.” To my surprise, Raymon stopped in his march to the door of the apothecary. “I must travel through the stones in order to stay here in this century with Jaime. I want that more than anything but I need a willing person to trade with me. Someone from this time must be willing to pass through to my time. Please, we know you will hang in four days, I have seen the drawing. This will allow you to escape that fate!” Without realizing it my words had come out in a rush and I was breathless. My desperation was palpable and I worried he would throw me out. “Madonna, I will consider the situation and let you know if I will sail with you. The solstice approaches so you must leave soon. I will send word no later than two day’s time. Now, get some rest and take the crystal. It is my gift to you and the baby.” He held my hands and dropped the crystal into them. I was terribly tired and walked quickly to the door without saying a word.

The ride home was a blur until I felt Jaime’s hands lifting me from the carriage bench. “Sassenach, are ye well?” I lifted my head and fell into the blue eyes that held my future. He looked so worried, about what I wondered? Many maids were around us and followed us to the bedroom where I was stripped and dressed for sleep. I felt so strange and looked to Jaime for reassurance. “Thank you ladies, very much. Please tell my uncle I will be down shortly.” 

I laid on the bed feeling peaceful and sleepy. Jaime sat on the edge and looked down at me with a strange expression on his face. “Sassenach, it was not so long ago that I watched yer face as ye slept in the spare room at Lallybroch. I could not stop staring at yer face, so beautiful it was. Since then ye have taken my breath away, every day, in so many ways, and I’m thankful for every minute. Mo Chridhe, I can see what this trip is doin to ye and I have to stop it. I fear for ye and the bairn. We leave on high tide tomorrow and I will find another way to keep ye with me.” Suddenly I snapped to attention and pulled him to me forcing myself to stay calm. “Please Jaime, I know it was wrong to visit Master Raymon alone and I’m sorry. I had to try! Just as I thought he was less guarded with me and he told me about you… and me, in another world. Jaime please! You are repeating the past don’t you feel it?” He looked confused but still resigned. “This is what happened to us in another life. You forced me away and went to your death in battle! Oh my God, Jaime listen to me this time!” I threw off all attempts at staying calm and felt I was fighting for my life and his. “Alright Sassenach, dinna fash, we wait two more days.” With that he laid down beside me and held me tight. 

“I must meet with my uncle. He is a Jacobite organizer and wants me to meet someone of importance later tonight. I must make the arrangements. I will be back love.” He leaned down to kiss me and I pulled his head to mine. I felt his tongue glide across my teeth and cuddle with mine. It was enough to set me ablaze and I panted into his mouth. “Jaime…” He pulled me closer and kissed me again. “I will be quick.” He was gone in a trot and I lay back panting. What has come over me lately I wondered. My desire is always on low burn and if he sits close to me I can’t think of anything but mad love. It was mid-afternoon. Plenty of time before I had to go. I turned on my side, back to the door, and pulled my robe over my hip. Whoever walked through that door would get a good look at my naked arse. I hugged the other pillow and drifted away. 

I was so deep. Struggling to come up to the surface and see the light but my fatigue held me down. Scratching on my tender inner thigh I moaned deep in my head. Mmmm… lovely… Jesus! He pulled my leg up and caressed me with his tongue. My hips rocked and I grabbed the sheet closing my eyes to the sensation. I was so close and could hardly catch my breath. Jaime eased my legs apart and pushed his fingers into me. He reached up to pinch my nipple with his other hand and I went sailing with the angels while he held his tongue against me using tiny pulses to push me along. He kissed me back to him and I smiled tasting my sex on his tongue. He pressed himself to my back and rolled me on top of him with my back to his chest. His mouth was right at my ear giving me a thrill when he spoke. “Bend your knees love and plant yer feet on either side of me.” I did so, as his hands coaxed my heat back to a full burn. I could feel his erection against my back and squirmed to change position and get him inside of me. “No yet mo gràdhag.” He pulled both of my arms over my head and flattened my hands against the headboard. “Are ye ready for me to love ye sweetheart?” All I could do is pant with anticipation. His hands grabbed my hips and lifted me several inches above him and then he slammed into me, over and over. I was taken by the most pleasurable surprise and moaned loudly for more. He tipped my pelvis toward him and pushed into me slowly causing a new sensation that threatened to melt me from the inside. He laid me against him and touched my throbbing clit, pulled tight by his huge cock buried in me. “Do ye like this love?” I was squirming, trying to push down on him. “Like it, yes, yes, more Jaime.” I saw bright stars behind my eyelids and the wave of ecstasy hit me full force. I barely felt my hips raise up but when he pounded me during my orgasm I had another rip through me right after. I heard Jaime growl and shudder. He held me as we both gasped for breath. “Oh my God, Jaime, how come you’re so good at this? Jesus H Roosevelt Christ! That was over the top.” He chuckled, “it’s all I think about when yer gone mo chridhe.” He rolled me over and kissed me one-hundred times making me giggle uncontrollably. The last kiss was on my abdomen and he held his lips against me for a long time. He whispered something in Gallic and crossed himself. “I love you so much Jaime.”

Jaime was quite suddenly alone in the enormous bed. “Ilfen! When will this torment end.” He pulled his clothes on and left to find his absent godfather. He knocked on the maid's door, “Murtagh?” Suzette scurried out the door and waved Jaime inside the dark room. “Where are ye man?” A lamp was turned up and Jaime looked at his godfather in horror. “Jesus Murtagh, what’s happened to ye?” The man’s eyes were sunken with dark circles, his cheeks were gaunt and his shoulders looked like skin on bone. He sat in a chair and looked out at nothing. His chest hardly moved with each breath. “Murtagh! I’m talkin to ye, what’s amiss?” Jaime left to find Suzette and get some answers. He was very concerned with Murtagh’s condition and felt he was losing control of the entire situation here. 

Suzette explained Murtagh’s mood had become sullen and now despondent. He asked her several times a day how he could know which one dies. She was shaking her head yes at Jaime. “Which one dies” is what he asks me. I asked him to explain and he says it is his burden to bear. Monsieur, he has not eaten in three days and he will not drink. I am afraid for him.” 

Jaime carried Murtagh to a spare room upstairs and covered him with a soft quilt. “I know ye hate the life of the dandy Murtagh but ye’ll suffer through it so I can keep ye close. I have soup and ye will eat it without fuss, aye? A spoon was offered to Murtagh’s lips and his eyes met Jaime’s with such a look of hopelessness and defeat that it broke Jaime’s heart. “Are ye to die then Murtagh?” If ye no eat or drink it’s a sure end. What of yer promise to look after me? Ye must want the wrath of my mother to come down on ye.” Murtagh grabbed Jaime’s arm and searched his eyes. “Master Raymon,” was all he said. “Claire spoke to him and he is considering coming back with us.” Murtagh eyes grew fearful, “to go through the stones?” Jaime watched him closely, “aye.” Murtagh laid back on the pillows and closed his eyes. He looked so small all of a sudden and Jaime’s heart broke again. “Please Murtagh, I canna do this without ye.”d

Jaime turned the lamps down and sent a messenger to inform the prince he was called to an emergency. He pulled a chair to the bed and put his feet up on the bed. He intended to listen to Murtagh’s breathing all night. He suddenly felt so lonely for Lallybroch and for Claire. He pulled her image up in his mind and she floated on air in front of him. He turned her, touched her, and molded her body to his in multiple ways. When he found a position that felt right he started to remove her clothing, one piece at a time. When new skin was exposed he caressed it, Kissed it, and sucked it. More layers came off, more skin exposed, and then she was naked and wanting him. His arms rested on plush sides of his upholstered chair. He bent her over one side exposing her luscious bottom. He caressed it and tried to take her from behind… puff, the image evaporated. Much too low for such a move. He brought her image back floating in front of him…. He heard her call his name and snapped out of the daydream. “Jesus Christ,” he muttered under his breath. 

I started my day with a mission to visit Fiona and catch her up on our trip to France. I had missed her greatly and decided to buy a large bouquet of flowers on the way. My toast was consumed with a ferocity that seemed to scare Joe. He was such a baby. 

I finally left for the B&B smiling to myself at the odd experience I had and wondering if it was a pregnancy side effect. How nice if it was. I pulled the top off the jeep to enjoy the sunny day and raced through the streets of Edinburgh like I hadn't a care in the world. The breeze made my sundress billow and my hair whip around me. I felt free.


	33. Leaving France

Jaime and I have visited the apothecary for the past two days looking for Master Raymon. His employee was there once. She was packing up the bottles, books, and bones that had first fascinated me. She looked at me sympathetically and explained Raymon was gone and would not be back. I felt my insides drop and forced back the tears as Jaime led me away. 

Today, the shop was empty and locked up. Most of the items inside had been removed. To where I wondered? There was an official looking decree nailed to the outside of the store naming Master Raymon. The name stood out in three places but I could not read anything else. Jaime glanced at it and hurried us away. “It’s best to not be associated with an outlaw love, let’s find the carriage and leave this place.”

My heart hurt. It is the only feeling I had on the ride back to our temporary home. We didn’t speak. Jaime held my hand and kept his eyes looking outside the carriage. My mind kept repeating ‘we failed’, over and over, no other thoughts came to me. Jaime walked me to the stairs and kissed my forehead before leaving to meet with his uncle. I entered the bedroom and sat down in a chair. I didn’t change my clothes or even take my gloves off. I just stared at the floor as the afternoon passed by. I knew we were leaving tomorrow and thought I would just sit here until then. I noticed the light changing as the sun moved toward its descent. I had no cause or desire to lift my head to the windows. 

“Sassenach!” Jaime raced to my side and knelt next to me. “Mo thasgaidh, ye have’na moved since our arrival, my God, are ye well love?”He was pulling my gloves off and rubbing my cold hands. He quickly stoked up a roaring fire and ordered food to be brought to our room. He pulled me up to my feet and loosened my laces pulling layers off and rubbing my bare skin. “Please, mo chridhe, say somethin. Tell me yer alright.”He pulled a warm robe around me and hugged me. I leaned into him and wrapped my arms around his waist. I could not get close enough. I thought it strange that I had not shed a tear today nor felt I would now. The emotions I usually feel coursing through me and pooling in my stomach felt like a barren wasteland with not a single piece of color. “Sassenach, do not give up on me! Ye must listen and believe I will find a way to keep ye with me. I will visit the witch, offer her Lallybroch if I have to.” When I heard that I tried to lift my eyes to look at him but I failed. He didn’t belong to me, nor I to him because after June twentieth, I would no longer travel through time when I slept. The witch told Murtagh the only way back after that date was through the stones. 

Jaime pushed me gently into the chair and knelt in front of me. He took my cold hands and blew warm air on them. That kind gesture moved me and I smiled at him like he was a stranger who just returned something I dropped. Jaime walked to the fire and stood deep in thought before crossing the room in three strides and picking me up. He held me in bed and cried silently as he smoothed my hair behind my ears. “My darling Sassenach.”I could feel his torment but could not speak. Anything said now would be the start of our goodbye and I could not face that so I closed my eyes and left my dearest love alone with his broken heart. 

The next day brought little relief to my battered brain and heart. I managed to get into sweats but remained on my bed throughout the day. Joe was out on assignment for the week and Baritone went along so I sat in an empty house and stared at the floor. All of the Jaime moments, since he first carried me out of the dark wood, drifted through my mind. His boyish flirting in the pit I fell into, the first time we had sex, the sled rides, the cottage, the hours of talk, the look on his face after my three day absence. I remembered the first time I said I love you, how he pulled me back when I nearly froze to death, and my kidnapping attempt played minute by minute in my mind. Then I saw our wedding and how he looked at me throughout the ceremony. The precious seconds his cheek touched mine before we kissed. We believed it was us the legend and folklore spoke of and neither of us believed we would fail. We believed it was us. 

I laid down on my bed at five o’clock, too drained to attempt anything else. I was always so desperately tired and I surrendered to the fatigue. “Faith? Where are you sweet love? Faith!” My head jerked up to a dark room. I heard the fire popping and felt the warmth. I was laying on the floor for some reason and then I heard Jaime behind me. He was crying and sniffling into his shirt. I rose and pulled on his hand. “Sassenach!”I did not speak but pulled his clothes off and turned down the quilt sliding in next to him. I wrapped my arms around his waist and hugged him so tight. He was struggling to control his tears and my heart broke because I felt the same vast emptiness stretch before me. He pulled me under him and pushed my legs apart easing himself into my warmth, my wetness, my broken promise of eternal happiness. He loved me slowly in a heartbreaking rhythm that was his final claim to me. We had not spoken a word to each other but our bodies were starting their goodbye and the crushing pain of that threatened to stop my heart forever. I gripped him tightly and pushed my face to his neck. I could not find the heat and neither could he so we eventually curled up into each other and slept.

There was much activity in the household as our belongings and gifts from Jaime’s uncle were packed into trunks and carted off to the ship. Murtagh was informed of Master Raymon’s abandonment and actually emerged from his room looking like the face of death. He drank juice and nibbled at eggs and bacon while answering Jaime’s stunted questions about his well being. It was all so forced and devoid of true interest so I tuned it out. Jaime’s hand found mine under the table. I was always surprised at how large and warm his hands were. One of the million things I had ceased to notice when we had a lifetime together to look forward to. I covered our hands and squeezed sending my wish and sadness. 

We boarded the ship and Jaime tried to get me to lay down until I disappeared. I was able to raise my gaze to him and he gasped and touched my cheek. “Yer eyes lassie could drop an eagle in flight.”I was looking into the eyes of a ghost I realized and took a breath to bank the tears I finally felt stinging my eyes. “Will ya no rest Sassenach?” I shook my head and gripped the railing as France drifted away from us. “Goodbye hope.”

“Excuse me, Lord Broch Tuerac and Madonna.”My heart heard it first because suddenly it was beating madly. I wanted to turn around but feared the disappointment of an empty deck would kill me. I didn’t know what to do! “Please, forgive me Madonna. I was detained by the authorities and barely managed my escape to board the ship. I will burden you I fear as I am now a stowaway.”I heard Jaime laugh. A bright, happy sound that did not belong in this landscape. My heart was pounding and I wanted to look behind me. “Sassenach, turn around.”I did and felt my knees give way and hit the deck in front of Master Raymon. Both men jumped to assist me and I looked into the eyes of my trade feeling a wave of gratitude, love, and relief smash into my consciousness. My smile broke, wet with tears of happiness. “Master Raymon, so good of you to join us.” When I was back on my feet I curtsied deeply and he bowed.

Jaime was able to arrange sleeping for Raymon in a very small cabin. Murtagh’s recovery took a sharp turn for the worst and he was not seen on deck again. Jaime spent hours with him daily coaxing food into his mouth, making him drink water. Murtagh perked up a bit when Jaime would tell him stories of their adventures together. They relived many years during those hours below deck and Jaime never tired of keeping the weak smile on his godfather’s face. One evening I watched him pray over Murtagh in Gallic and cross himself. He stood and turned toward me with tears on his cheeks. He brushed them off in embarrassment and looked at me like a boy caught stealing food.

“Why do you hide your God from me sweet love?”Jaime looked at me sharply, “I dinna ken I was Sassenach. Although I guess I do. It’s somethin we dinna share, it’s deeply personal. I felt a longing in my soul at that moment and recognized an empty seat in my heart, and as I had done for Jaime, I felt myself move over to make room. Not for an ordinary seat, but a throne. I looked up at Jaime with tears in my eyes, “will you teach me?”He touched my face, “aye lass, I will.”

And so, my religious training began. Each afternoon I would sit with Jaime on deck and listen to the stories of the Bible. He started with Adam and Eve, and as my eyes glassed over he swiftly moved on to King Nebuchadnezzar throwing two men into the fiery furnace for not worshiping the golden idol. “They were spared by the true God they worshiped and the king proclaimed the true God when he saw they were not hurt!” Next was Daniel being thrown into the Lion's den for worshiping the true God. Again a miraculous save and a king converted. Jaime was so good at storytelling that I and several passengers were rapt.

“Jaime, that is enough for today. I want you to spend time with Murtagh.” He kissed my hand as a man piped up from across deck, “I know the story of Sampson and Delilah!”We both looked up at the passenger and smiled. Jaime departed for the lower deck leaving me and a small crowd listening to the man speak. Every word that entered my ears went to building my conceptualization of Jaime’s God. I was disheartened that it was not my parent’s God. I couldn’t think of them being wrong or duped. I pushed that feeling down.

With each passing day, Jaime would begin my lesson with another story from the Bible and another passenger would take his place when he went to check on Murtagh. I learned about so many people, so many miracles, all with the same message, the one true God. I would run the stories back through my mind when I was at my home during the day. I felt closer to Jaime sharing these stories but my worry over my parents worshiping the wrong God grew. With each sinner cast into the flames for worshiping golden idols my fear grew until I could hear no more. 

Master Raymon approached me on deck one afternoon. “Madonna is not learning today?” My eyebrows shot up as I did not realize he knew about this. “No, I cannot take the fear these stories evoke. I am stuck and my learning has come to an end. I am more confused than ever.”I must have looked miserable because Raymon took my hand. “What troubles you so about your parents?” I could feel my blush and I looked away not wanting to expose my parents as damned. “They did not believe in the one true God, ”I said quietly. “They are damned I fear.”

Master Raymon watched me in silence for a minute or two before his eyes widened and he smiled. “Did they worship someone named Jesus Christ fille aimee?”I launched to my feet pointing at Raymon, “yes!”I sat down quickly and looked down at the deck, mortified by my betrayal. “Have you shared your concern with your husband?”My cheeks were on fire, “No.” Raymon patted my hand, “perhaps you should,” he said, and then bid me good day. 

I laid down in our room and let the ship lull me. I wasn’t sleepy for once and wanted Jaime. I closed my eyes and remembered our past lovemaking positions. I flipped through them feeling my upper thighs press together. Then it came into my head, ooooh, yes, that one. I smiled and remembered Jaime holding my hips to his mouth while ramming his cock into my mouth. My finger pressed into my skirt but there were too many layers. “Sassenach?” My eyes flew open and I turned my flaming gaze to my husband. I opened my mouth to breath and scowled at Jaime when he asked what I was doing. I looked at the bulge in his pants and reached for him. He moved away. I was not happy and continued scowling. Watching him, wanting him, and almost panting.

He walked toward me and looked into my eyes. I was in no mood for dalliance and reached for him again. Two big hands grabbed my shoulders and pulled me up as his mouth captured mine in a deep kiss while he pulled the tie of my skirt. It fell to the floor and I kicked it away. He pushed me back onto my butt and regarded me with a smile. I was breathing heavy looking at him through my hair, mouth open and legs parted. I felt predatory for what I wanted from him. He ran his hands down my inner thighs to my core and his thumb pushed past my pantie elastic and pushed into me. God I was ready for him. He grabbed my face and looked into my eyes but there was only lust, a growling, needy body that would go to lengths for release. He looked at me with a crooked smile. This eye banter was keeping me from what I needed. “My sweet lassie is no longer among us I see. You crave, you need, you will not let her back until I crash into ye. I was staring at his bulge, and it was huge. He wound a fist in my hair and dropped his kilt pulling my mouth to him. He held his cock at the base and pushed my mouth down on it. He savagely pulled me away by my hair. I could see his struggle to gain control. It made me happy. “Yer a wicked temptress right now Sassenach.” I was pulling at the laces behind me frantically pulling at my jacket sleeves. He stayed my hands and deftly pulled the laces until jacket and corset were on the floor. I felt his hand pull my supporting arm and flip me onto my back. He moved his hand down my body and slipped a finger into my panties opening my folds. My back arched and I moaned his name. He touched my engorged throb and I was jolted. “Ah, if I release ye will ye let my love come back?” I looked at him through slits in my eyes. “Touch it” I whispered. “Hmm, touch it she says. Spread yer legs lass and show me what to touch.” I could barely keep it together. I had to come by any means before I lost my mind. My knees bent and I opened my legs. Pulling the panties aside I ran my finger over the throbbing. “Here, please.” Jaime lowered his body to the bed, his head was inches from me. “Ye have to watch me Sassenach. Close your eyes and I will stop.” I pushed my pelvis up against his mouth. “Yessssss, lick me.” Jaime rolled on his side keeping his tongue on me and pushed it into me. “Oh God!” He stopped and I went wild. “No!” “I need my beautiful wife naked on this bed and willing to do anything I ask. Do we have an accord, my love?" I could not stand his teasing anymore. “Yesss.” He pushed open my fold and covered my throbbing, flicking me until it gripped me, savagely, pulling me away into orbit.” Jaime grabbed me to him and I clutched him while I spiraled in exquisite pulsing joy.

I felt my panties pull down and away from me. He lifted me into a sitting position and turned me to him. His hand around my ankle he pushed my feet up tight to my buttocks opening me completely. He pressed my hands over my head and I felt the wood support of the bunk above us. This was done so slowly and lovingly I didn’t notice he was molding my body for the perfect fuck. Now it was making me hot. “There’s my Sassenach beauty. Come and let me love you.” He pulled my hip onto his cock. It was so deep and so big I was immediately panting. Jaime’s face was covered in sweat. He slowly pulled me in and pushed me away. “Sassenach love, you have total control over how my body can make you feel.” I tried to listen but my panting was too distracting. “Mo chirdhe, put your hands up and push down. Come love, hands above ye and push yerself on me. In my fog I pushed down and he literally speared me.” Jesus Jaime!” I pushed again and felt new sensations deep me. "You are in control my love, be greedy and take it as you want it. I have the most erotic view in the world and can’t hold out much longer. Push Sassenach. I pushed and ground down on him. My moans told a story of exquisite lust. “Push Sassenach.” My orgasm was pulling me in. Jaime pushed me away and I pushed back on him. I was lost in heavy fog. I felt Jaime’s thumb push against my clit opening the floodgates of the monster orgasm. Jaime’s hands grabbed my hips and rocked them coming in seconds.

Jaime’s warm hand stroked my back as I came back to my senses. My thoughts returned to the conversation with Master Raymon. I was deep in thought wondering how Jaime would take the news that my parents worshiped Jesus and not the true God. “What is it mo chridhe?”I launched into my confession but as the words tumbled out I became so fearful for my parent’s immortal souls. I felt tears streak down my cheeks and I held Jaime’s hand so tight. “They, they worshiped a Jesus Christ, not the one true God. They will be cast into hell and I am scared for them.”I was sobbing outright now and was sitting up with my legs under me. Jaime sat up and pushed the hair out of my face, “wait, wait, Sassenach dinna fash, they are safe in heaven. Jesus is the Lord.” My eyes flew open, “no he’s not! The stories say there are false prophets and worship the one true God, they don’t say worship Jesus!”Jaime grabbed my hands and kissed them. He spoke quickly before I self-combusted I think. “We have’na got to the story of Jesus yet. He is God’s son sent to earth to be sacrificed for the sins of the people. Your parents worshiped the one true God through Jesus Christ my love.”I realized this meant they were safe and not sinners and I launched toward Jaime smashing my head into the wood above our bunk. Blackness.

“Yuk! I tried to get away from the nasty smelling salts under my nose. My head started spinning and I grabbed it feeling a fine lump on top. “Oh God, that hurts!” Our room was full of people. Jaime hovered over me, Master Raymon was seated, Murtagh was pushed against a wall, and another man I took to be a medic or doctor. Keep the towel soaked in seawater and press it a bit on the lump. If you feel sick let me know. He left, as did Murtagh and Raymon. Jaime chuckled, “well now, that was an eventful afternoon was it not Sassenach?”He turned around and saw an empty bunk. Jaime sat down hard on a chair and dropped his head into his hands.


	34. Baby Faith

I woke up naked, as usual, because 18th-century clothing did not come to this side. Why I wondered? My head hurt and I carefully felt the lump on the top making me wince. Joe knocked on my door, ”get dressed pet, you have a prenatal appointment in an hour.” I got up as quickly as I dared feeling a bit dizzy, and grabbed a robe to find Joe. 

“I have a what in an hour?” Joe looked up from his bran muffin, no butter, that he washed down with juice. He made a face, “that is disgusting.” I raised my eyebrows waiting for an answer. “I made you an appointment for a prenatal check up today. You are past due.” I was shocked that he would be so bold. “And if I want a different doctor or different time?” He regarded me indifferently. “Fortunately, I am an uncomplicated man so I do not consider such things. Be a good girl and get ready.” I stalked back to my bedroom receiving a smack on the cheek from Baritone. I huffed away.” 

Rushing through my shower and bent over my blow dryer I heard Joe come in. He pulled me up and took the dryer from me. “What's wrong pet?” He pushed me into a chair and combed my hair back as I cried. “I forget sometimes that I’m pregnant. I mean I look for her when I fall asleep but when I’m awake I sometimes forget. That means I’ll be a bad mother Joe, maybe it’s something I would have learned from my own mother. Now I’m scared.” Joe’s big hand squeezed my shoulder. “I imagine every procreating woman throughout time has worried the same thing as a primigravida. It is normal pet. You were born with the mother’s love in your heart. It’s the first thing I felt from you. And don’t expect me to be this nice to you going forward because it’s just not in my nature.” I looked up at him still standing behind me, I was silent looking for strength to share my truth. “I can’t think of anything besides sex Joe, does that sound motherly to you?” Bam, I said it out loud and a huge weight was lifted from my shoulders. I let out a deep sigh of shame and waited for the worst. 

Joe came around and squatted in front of me so I could see his eyes. “Claire, that is normal too. You are twenty-two years old and your body is overwhelmed with sex hormones from pregnancy. Throw in a lover built like Zeus, newly deflowered, congratulations on that by the way, and there will be records set with the two of you. Don’t think about it being wrong, it’s a gift to make up for all the misery that comes next.”

I was aghast. “I don’t remember telling you Jaime was a virgin.” Joe went back to playing with my wet hair. “You mumble in your sleep pet. Why do you think I always spend the night when you’re troubled and not sharing the details.” I could not believe my ears but before I could react he called for Baritone and turned on the blow dryer. Joe pointed to my feet and yelled for Baritone to make them fancy. I would be meeting my son or daughter today. “Daughter, Faith,” I called out but no one was paying attention. I gave in to the pampering and tried not to watch as Baritone got more polish on his jeans than on my toenails.

Joe pulled out my clothes and sandals and told me to be in the jeep in ten minutes. The room was quiet suddenly, I was alone with Faith. I felt my abdomen and the hard bump that was showing itself. I felt gas bubbles under my hand and giggled. “I hope I don’t fart at the doctor.” 

The three of us piled into the jeep and took off for the doctor. I was feeling very nervous and fidgeting. “I can hold your hand” Baritone’s hand was searching for mine. I looked behind me and saw his face pressed sideways against the back of my seat trying to reach me. I laughed, “it’s okay my friend. But I would love to know how many windows are in that building.” Baritone didn’t hesitate, “fifty-four.” 

When the three of us enter a room or restaurant together there is a noticeable shift in the energy. It was palpable today with a waiting room full of women in some stage of pregnancy and a handful of men looking bored and tortured. The nurse at the desk looked at us, “you three just come from a beautiful people convention?” She laughed at her joke and I tried to smile and sign my name. The butterflies in my stomach had become sharks. Joe took my hand and we sat down. Baritone took my other hand and I felt like the condemned prisoner being led to the…. “Claire Fraser?” I pushed the boys back to their seats. “I can handle this part.” Joe sat down looking cheated.

The doctor was a pleasant older man with a soft voice and encouraging smile. He asked me tons of questions, some were harder than others to answer. He estimated I was twelve weeks along but ordered a sonogram for confirmation. “Can my friends come in also?” The doctor laughed and agreed.

Joe and Baritone were pressed against the wall with hands clasped in front looking like bungling burglars with no place to hide. “Would you two relax?” They looked at each other and back at me, no noticeable improvement. I rolled my eyes.

The same nurse came crashing in with a huge machine. Her eyes flicked from Joe and Baritone. “Is this two men and a baby?” she laughed at herself. “Well, ya got good taste and it won’t be hard to nail the father.” More laughter and a snort. 

After she poured goo on my abdomen that surely just came out of the refrigerator, she smeared it around and started watching the screen. She pressed buttons and lines appeared over a dark spot. “I am just taking measurements first.” She clicked the lines off and more buttons sharpened the image. I saw my baby and the tears were rolling down my cheeks as I stared. The nurse pointed to her beating heart, her head and legs and lack of hanging genitals. Joe held my hand and both came closer to the exam table until they leaned across me trying to see. She handed me a tissue and looked at me with understanding. “It’s a little overwhelming to see your first baby. For everybody I guess.” I looked up at the tears being hastily wiped away by Joe and Baritone. It was a moment for the three of us. 

We were all quiet on the way home, so overwhelmed with the miracle growing inside me. I could not stop looking at the sonogram picture given by the nurse. I would have given anything for Jaime to be with me and decided to take the picture with me tonight. I knew it would likely vaporize but I was willing to try. I thought about praying for its safe passage but remembered I was not to pray for things like a new Gucci purse, so I didn’t. I could hope really hard though, and I did. 

I opened my eyes in the darkness and heard Jaime roll to me. “Sassenach! Ye have clothes on, what’s amiss?” He was used to my sleeping naked to spare my clothes. He sounded almost hurt to be deprived of his wake up snuggle. I grabbed my stomach and under my waistband but the picture wasn’t there. “Fuck!” I whispered. I heard Jaime growl, “knowin what that means in yer language mo gradhag, we agree.” His kiss was deep from the start and left me panting. He pulled me up on top of him and ran his hands under my shirt moaning, which came to an abrupt stop. “What’s this then?” He pulled the sonogram picture out of my waistband in the back and held it up. I shrieked with happiness. “Light, we need light, enough to read from!” I jumped out of the confining bunk, found a lamp and turned it up to full blaze. 

Jaime looked confused and rock hard. My gaze lingered on his body and I almost dropped the picture. I was at war with my throbbing need for sex and my desire to show Jaime. “Come Jaime, I have a picture of your daughter.” My eyes filled with happy tears as I pointed to her head, legs, and heart. I hastily explained the sonogram as Jaime took it from me and studied it. He said nothing for at least a minute but ran his finger over her heart. I saw a teardrop to the floor and wrapped my arms around his waist. He whispered reverently in Gallic until I asked what he was saying. He looked at me and more Gallic came out. He seemed confused and shook his head. Tried again, still Gallic. He looked like he was concentrating but looked back at his daughter and just stared at her. 

He stood up and pulled me to him. He was speaking to me, stopped and shook his head, tried again. He gave up and kissed me deeply wet with his tears. I looked up at him and realized he was trying to think of English words, becoming frustrated. “Off come the clothes my love, we need no English for what happens next.” His eyes went dark with desire and he carried me back to our bed. He pulled my clothes off and worshiped the body that held his growing child. His touch was soft, his tongue was soft, his hands were soft, “please love, I won’t break, you can’t hurt us, I need you to take me, ”spoken into his open mouth. Like a barricade breaking, his moan was long and lustful as he pulled me up to straddle him. I pulled him inside me and rocked him. We left the lamp turned up and he could see the face he loved and watch me rise and fall on him. He couldn’t look away. I felt his legs come behind me and he pushed me back against them tilting my pelvis back exposing our point of contact. “Christ Sassenach, yer driving me mad!” He growled, “hands on the wood love,” and dropped his legs about four inches. My heat multiplied when I realized he wanted me to push against him. I could just barely reach the platform above because he dropped me so low. I looked at him watching my pussy and almost melted. “Drop me a little more Jaime.” My hands found the mattress and I pushed away from him quickly. He growled and pulled me back to him. My legs opened fully and I pushed away again making him come after me and pull me back hard. I was enjoying this game and the look in his eyes almost made me lose it. He raised his knees sharply and pulled my upper body down on him holding me against his chest he battered me. He held my pelvis three inches from his stomach and thrust until I grabbed him in ecstasy screaming his name. He came deep inside me and I felt him pulsing in his release. I clung to him and he wrapped me in a hug, saying my real name over and over. I pushed my face into his neck and we fell asleep in that position. 

Jaime laid under the weight of his wife and felt his heart bursting with love for her and his child. He drifted and hovered at the threshold of sleep. She murmured his name as she often did and other words and giggles sometimes followed. To him, it was a look at her mind, unguarded, sometimes playful, sometimes sad, but he cherished every word. “Two years to die. … all die…. dies. There were other words he could not understand. He felt tears on his chest. “No more of this love.” He said quietly rolling his body to the side so he could look at her. He pushed her tears away and watched her surface. He saw the confusion in her eyes until she met his gaze and the beautiful smile brightened her face. “My love…” 

I opened my eyes to the most handsome face in the world. He smiled at me, “I can remember English again, mo chridhe.” He pushed me to my back and spread his hand across my abdomen. “I was a bit overcome seein Faith in yer womb. Twas a fine gift ye brought me. Thank ye love.” He had a different look in his eyes and I knew he was thinking about something. It did not raise any warning bells so I ignored it. Jaime was wanting to get up and find food so I dressed quickly and went with him. He stopped abruptly midway down the hall. His face suddenly looked green and I noticed the ship was riding high waves. “Oh my God, Jaime come back to the room. He grabbed his stomach and bent over. I pulled on his arm but he was paralyzed and his knees hit the wood. “Jaime!” I screamed. “Wait here!” I lifted my skirts and ran back to our room. Since my nausea was not coming anymore I knew not where I left the crystal. I ransacked the room and finally my hand wrapped around it. I ran back and saw Jaime on his feet from a distance. I ran faster and then saw Master Raymon standing in front of him. “Jaime!” I held the crystal out to him but Raymon pushed my hand down. “That crystal is protection against any force that might hurt your child Madonna. It will not work on your husband's seasickness. The ship lurched and I was pressed against the wall suddenly. 

I looked behind me when I did not feel Jaime’s arm catch me. The lurch had knocked him to the floor where he sat staring into the air. “Jaime!” Master Raymon’s arm gently pulled me back. “He is hypnotized Madonna but do not fear for him. “Laird Tuarac stand up please and remember none of your seasickness. You are heading to the dining area for breakfast with your lady.” Raymon hurried away and was halfway down the hall. “Wait!” He turned around and snapped his fingers loudly. Jaime lurched forward and smiled at me as we continued on our way. I have had enough magic for a lifetime I thought.

Jaime ate his usual mountain of food and I watched with growing worry. He licked his fingers and regarded me for a full minute. I tried to smile but found my lips were shaking so I looked at my lap. He continued to look at me. “How about a walk on deck Sassenach” I stood up, “yes! Um, well maybe.” I didn’t want him staring at me but he shouldn’t see the waves either. I sat down and hung my head. No matter what I was a terrible liar and Jaime always read my stupid face for the truth. He offered his arm to me and we left passing the stairs up to the upper deck and entering our room. I started for the bed to lay down and face the wall for a few hours, or the rest of the trip. A strong arm steered to a seat at the table. 

Jaime knelt in front of me and pushed curls behind my ears. I tried to look at him and gave up, looking again at my lap. He kissed my ear sensuously and I let out a long breath. His lips were pressed to my ear. Ye know I love ye lass?” My eyes were closing and I heard “yes” whispered. “Ye know I would give my life for ye lass?” again a whispered “yes”. I felt his nail run down my nipple through my jacket. “Do ye like that lass?” another scrape of his nail. “yes” I felt his hot tongue inside my ear and nearly shattered. “Do ye keep secrets from me lass?” His hand ran up my thigh. “yes” He pulled my jaw to his kiss and it left me breathless chasing his mouth. He still spoke very low while kissing me. “I would like to hear your secrets Claire.” My eyes flew open, “what?” I noticed my chest was heaving and he wasn’t watching it. Something was wrong. “Um, what did you just say?” He kissed my forehead and stood up with hands behind his back and walked around the table. I swallowed hard and tried to smile at him. He wouldn’t get it out of me, no matter what he did to me. With two weeks left on the open ocean, I would not tell him he was being hypnotized. Stubborn scot would force it to stop and die in this room. No Jaime, my lips are sealed for your own sake. He stopped pacing and turned to me. “Sassenach, my love, yer keepin secrets from me are ye naught?” I thought my heart would stop. “No, who told you that!” Hmm, it was a little forceful for the conversation, but I think he’ll back down now, I thought. Jaime resumed pacing to allow him to turn away from her and gain control of his grin. He almost lost it and laughed but he huffed it off. 

There was a knock at the door and Jaime thought the timing was perfect, “later!” he yelled savagely. I jumped inches off my chair and grabbed the table. I won’t say, I will not say it. I am not afraid! “Sassenach.” He touched my face and I jumped again “what?” he turned toward the wall, probably trying not to shake me I thought. “Sassenach will you please look at me?” I squirmed, “I would rather not right now.” He started coughing into his fist. My upper body was leaning away from him and I forced myself to sit up straight. His face was inches from mine. My cheeks were hot, my hands were twisting on my lap. Almost over I thought, he will give up asking me in a minute. I felt his hands slide up under my skirts. “I would like to go now please. Walk, a walk on a deck, this deck!.” I stood up and felt his iron grip push me back down. His face came closer and his hands moved up my legs. “Sassenach, my darling love. I will have your confession if it takes all day. I dinna want to seduce it from ye because that is sacred ground no to be toyed with.” He pulled his hands from under my skirts and straightened the fabric. 

Jaime was fascinated by his wife. She was scared shitless and yet she chose to lie to him. It’s a good thing no one asked him to bet his life on this outcome because he would have surely lost it today. He considered his feeling, in his stomach where it counts. He should be furious with her deception but he wasn’t. She baffled him every day. Would she keep looking at her hands for the rest of the day.? He watched her and decided the wee minx would do just that. More than anything he wanted to hold her in his lap and kiss away her fears. Apologize for being a brute. 

“Sassenach” I jumped, “what!” Jaime was coughing again. I worried he was catching something. “Do ye ken what happens when ye lie to yer husband?” My head was hurting, “who said I was lying, they’re lying! Someone is lying about me.” I could not continue this interrogation much longer. I felt Jaime’s hand under my chin lifting my head to look at him. “Sassenach, I will force ye to lie to my face.” I looked in his eyes and heard him gasp. He fell on a knee and wrapped his arms around me pulling me close. “Forgive me Sassenach. Your eyes break my heart. What could be so tragic, so frightening, that you would keep it from the one who loves ye the most? No, no, no no... I will not say. He released me and looked directly in my eyes. “Master Raymon is hypnotizing you.” He jumped back a few inches, “what?” I think I just accidentally told him, so I said “what?.”

Jaime shook his head and looked at me, then shook it again. “Sassenach, I must ask ye to please explain yerself before I lose my mind. Who dies in two years and why am I being hypnotized!” I felt the breath expel from my lungs and a hand come against my mouth. I just looked at him and then gulped air. I was suddenly struggling to breathe. Jaime jumped up and pulled my laces quickly pulling off my jacket. He pulled my corset laces pulling me up from the chair he carried me to the bed. He pulled the corset off and held me close. “Breathe mo gradhag, forgive me for pushin like that. I’m sorry lass.” 

I held his face with shaking hands. “I blocked it out. It was too horrible to consider. Two years is all we have left to live. You were on death’s door when I found out and I blocked it out until you said it just now.” I threw my arms around his neck and pressed myself to him. I am so sorry I lied about Master Raymon. You got terribly sick this morning from the high waves. Raymon hypnotized you and you felt better. It was my decision to keep it from you. I thought you would stop him and then die in this very room from starvation. Suddenly I was full of righteousness and gave him a heated look. Yes, I lied to you and would do it again to save your life!” He was searching my eyes as if he could read my mind. I gave him a meaner face and he started coughing into his fist again. “Jaime, you’re getting sick!” He started laughing and could barely stop so he grabbed me in a bear hug until he regained control. 

“Sas... Sassenach..” he rolled out of the bunk and gulped air on his hands and knees. Finally, when he stopped laughing he stood up and reached for me. I sat back in the chair, however this time my upper body was bare. I looked at him indignantly and held my head and my chest up. “More interrogation is it… and laughing at me!” Jaime hugged me from behind, still breathing hard. “No my love. No more interrogation, I am sorry but you are so funny when ye lie and even funnier when ye caught. I love ye lass, to the bone. Yer a rare woman mo gradhag. He kissed my neck and walked around to his own chair. He looked at my breasts and cleared his throat. “Now my love. Please unburden yerself of all secrets ye keep.” He looked again and loosened his tie absent-minded. I explained what Dr. Randall told me about the landowners and Lairds being wiped out along with their families after the uprising. During my explanation he kept looking at my breasts. I pretended to sneeze causing them to bounce and Jaime looked away for a few seconds then his gaze returned. 

“Now, about the hypnotizin Sassenach.” He didn’t bother trying to hide his gaze so I used some modeling moves to enhance his experience. I piled my hair on top of my head, careful to avoid my bump, and locked my hands behind my head. A classic lift and jut position. He was no longer listening. I sneezed again making them bounce and then scratched an inch on one nipple while I continued talking. “I must have a bug bite here.” I scratched again and Jaime was licking his lips and watching closely. I let the story go on and on with my forced monotone voice to lull him into a stupor. I pinched my other nipple so both were hard and pointing at him. 

Jaime got up and pulled the tie from his pack. He said not a word and lifted me from my chair. He stopped me and untied my skirts. I kicked them away. He kissed me deeply and walked me backward to the table lifting me onto it and gently pushing me down on my back. He tied my hands together and strapped them to a leg of the table. He grabbed my knees and pulled them up. His clothes were dropped as he came around the table and looked at me with smoldering eyes. He dropped to his knees and licked me over the edge in minutes. I was moaning his name and bucking my hips. “Christ Jaime!” He slid into me and did not take his eyes off of my breasts. Each time he rammed me they would bounce violently and the thrusting continued until he growled and released himself deep inside me. 

Still panting for breath he reached up and pulled the tie off to release me, pulling me to him. Yer gonna have to go over all that again later lass. We collapsed in bed and napped in a cuddle.


	35. Time is short

We have been at sea four weeks and six days. It is June nineteenth, 1743/2018. We should have seen the land mass of Scotland days ago but there doesn’t seem to be a schedule for winds that fill the sails. We never actually stopped moving but there wasn’t much wake behind the ship for many days. Jaime, with his heart of gold, tries to hide his own apprehension from me and keeps me occupied with my religious study, making love, and telling stories about Scotland. I put a brave face on for him but I feel more anxious with each passing day. I have one more sleep trip to Jaime and then the only way to see him again is through the stones. There are so many variables to consider it makes my head spin. Most importantly, we must disembark in Scotland by tomorrow. 

When I return home, my days are filled with attorney meetings and writing letters to be left behind. One letter needs to say a lifetime of I love you, thank you, bless you, and I’ll be with you. Don’t forget me. I decided that was selfish and took that out. I know Joe won’t forget me, nor I him. It is a very special friendship we have. I thank God Joe fell in love with Baritone. They will be happy together. Joe will own Lallybroch and he knows where the secret compartment is in Jaime’s room. I will keep him updated with notes but I will not hear from him ever again once I walk into the stones. 

The baby is sixteen, no, seventeen weeks now and pushing on my corset. I want to stop wearing it but I don’t know if it’s proper at this time. My little love is making a bump that Jaime is fascinated with and he can’t wait to feel it each morning when I materialize beside him. Joe started renting books about pregnancy and birth from the library and I have read every word. He handed me a book on emergency procedures during birth. I backed away from him with the first fear settling into my consciousness. So he read it to me as a captive in my room where he laid on my bed and I had to sit in a wooden chair. Otherwise, I would escape, according to him. I understand the need to be prepared but I don’t like worrying I will die giving birth. Joe reminded me that a common sore throat could carry a person away and I thanked him sincerely for the new fears now implanted in my brain. 

Jaime has grown concerned lately that I will miss my own time and become bitter for the decisions I am making. With so many days at sea, we have indulged in long conversations about that and every other issue facing our future. I remind him that I was raised traveling remote corners of the world where we lived in tents without running water or electricity in many cases. The truth is, my own time has no value to me anymore. The noise is constant harassment of the mind, and no one is free to just sit and ponder things. I don’t miss television, movies, magazines, and constant input from sources all around me. I will not miss anything from my time. Besides, I love the little family I belong to now. Ian and Jenny, me and Jaime. We will live at Lallybroch together at least for a while. 

Jaime has not mentioned my confession of the clearances and execution of entire families. I trust Dr. Randall and his knowledge of Scottish history but I owed it to Jamie to find another source to verify the details. I spent an afternoon in the library and the details from each source confirmed what Randall had said. The British were merciless in their slaughter. Children were killed in their sleep women were raped to death and the husbands, brother’s and father’s were the last to die. Those that tried to escape with their families became outlaws and were hunted down and killed on sight or dragged back to town to hang. The tenant class was left alone without the social structure that governed their lives prior to the uprising. They were told to plant their fields but their equipment and strong men were gone. Those left alive struggled to grow their food. When crops did come in they were taken to feed the army of men responsible for laying waste to their country and their culture. In the ten years after the uprising, a great many starved to death. 

I remember slamming the last book shut and putting it back on the shelf like it was made of poison. I did not know what I would do with the information but it was now in my brain if Jaime needed it. Master Raymon told me Jaime was punished with two-hundred years in purgatory for attempting to change history with ill-gotten knowledge. I certainly did not want to perpetuate that crime but I could agree to his course of action based on what I know, or disagree. It was a tight rope I walked. One thing I was sure of, I would get our family out any way I could, willing or not. 

Jamie checks on Murtagh every day and keeps him eating and drinking while they re-live the adventures of their life together. Murtagh is mean to me but I remember when he was my champion and try to focus on that. Whatever has possessed him will hopefully leave him when we return home. I pray for him every day. I pray for Jenny and Ian, Joe and Baritone, and the two loves of my life, Jaime and Faith. 

Master Raymon has visited with me several times during the voyage. Sometimes we talk about his travels to other worlds, sometimes he talks about Claire and her amazing strength and healing powers. I noticed a gap in the story. Claire was pregnant when they came to France to undermine the Jacobite rebellion. She was pregnant when she went through the stones one year later. I asked him about it and he apologized for his poor memory but I knew he was lying. Why I wondered? We are meeting after dinner to make a plan for the twenty-first of June when we cross. It must be synchronized to the minute. Plus two hundred years. I need to know exactly when to walk into the stone. It will be night for me and day for Master Raymon. I am betting my life that Raymon will be true to his word. He said he has a parting gift for me but I have seen it yet, nor can I imagine what it is. I am excited to see it. 

I search the horizon as I do every day but see nothing yet. I will visit Murtagh this afternoon. Jaime is laying down with a headache and frankly looks a bit green around the edges. He has agreed to be hypnotized by Master Raymon every day. It has kept him well. I wonder about Yi Tien Cho and hope he fairs well. He stayed on at Jared’s warehouse full time. I pray for his happiness. 

Fiona’s sisters have arrived from all over the world for the ritual of the solstice. They were keen to meet me and seemed to approach me with reverence. They were hanging on my every word when I described my travels, starting with the first night in the wood when Jaime carried me to his home with his sister. There were several collective ‘awww’ followed by laughter. I am overwhelmed with their life long investment in Jaime’s promise. It is very overwhelming. 

If I could leave a message to the world it would be to throw out your television set and home computer. Spend more time in your head doing whatever is needed. In Jaime’s time, the winters are spent on inside projects, making clothing, preparing for Hogmanay, reading to each other and alone, spending luxurious hours in bed doing whatever you want, prayers and study by the fire. People look forward to summer because it’s entertaining. After twelve hours of working in the fields, there are dance socials and group picnics, and stories around a fire at night. It is a simple life where people depend on each other rather than build fences around their property to keep people out. I am more at home in his time than mine. I have no worries about regret, I will not miss anything in my time, except Joe. 

Checking on Jaime I see his angel face, relaxed in sleep. I lightly touch his forehead and he is not feverish. I let out a breath of relief. “I love you” I whisper to him and rise to leave when a warm hand reaches for my arm and pulls me into him. I lay on his chest and smile. Putting my cheek to his I tell him softly how magnificent he is and kiss his lips lightly. I rise to leave but he won’t let me go. He won’t open his eyes either and the game is on. 

“Well if you won’t wake up and open your eyes then you shouldn’t mind if I leave. I am going to visit Murtagh so let me go.” Giggling, I pry each finger off my arm and go to the next hand prying four fingers only to have both hands grip me again. Hmm, I cannot look at him and feel his body for this long without my thoughts turning to mad passion. I am tempted to overcome the confines of my clothing and lie next to him. He, of course, is taking up the entire bed so it’s a moot point. “Could you use your hands to untie my boots?” He releases me and waves his arms in the air looking for my feet. I put one in his hands and it comes off. Arms waving again, the second comes off. His grip returns to my arms and no eyeballs have yet to be seen. I kiss his face many times and lick his neck. 

“Perhaps you could untie my laces with those hands?” The arms are waving so I turn around and feel the garment loosen. I pull it off. Without asking I feel him untie my skirts. “Well thank you sir.” I shoved them off to the floor. Arms waving in the air. “What could you be seeking? I would be in your debt if you could loosen my corset laces.” I turned my back to him and feel the wonderful release of my ribcage. I breathe deeply and feel hands pulling at my shift. “Oh, I see, you want this off as well?” He continues to pull the fabric. “Well, if I can take your shirt off maybe I…” His shirt floats to the floor and he pulls at the shift some more. I can’t quite turn my gaze from his chest and stomach, feeling free to linger since he can’t see me. I look down his flat stomach and back up to his chiseled chest and feel butterflies in my stomach. My mouth opens to breathe and I run my hands down his powerful arms. He pulls at my shift so it joins the rest of the clothing on the floor.

I can’t stop this heady feeling of having his body all to myself. If he was deep in sleep, of course I know he’s not, what would I do to him?” My heart rate increased and my breath is audible. I run my palm across his nipple and down his stomach, past his groin and down his legs. I pull his boots off and his stockings. I slowly push my palms up his legs and thighs pushing the kilt up. I see his balls, so lovely and big. I stare at them for several minutes and my heat is rising. I have wanted time alone with his body parts for months now and I don’t want to rush. I pull his belt open and it flops to either side of him. I slow my breathing and stare at the kilt bunched up above his cock. This was sinful and delicious.

When I pull on his arm and he rolls over. My second favorite part, his magnificent arse, is right in front of me and I can look all I want. My hands run up his legs and over his buttocks, slowly. Up his back to admire the muscled expanse of it. His skin is soft and smooth and my fingers trace the muscle ridges down his spine. I want to climb on him and press my hips into his butt. Steady girl, take a breath. My finger slowly runs down his vertebra and continues into the depths between his cheeks. I am ready for action that the front of this body can give me. 

I pushed on his hip to turn him over but he won’t budge. I use both hands and cannot move him. I pant from the effort and lay my cheek on his soft butt and rub the other one. Rested and ready for one last try I put both feet against the wall and push on his hip with all my strength. I might have rocked him half an inch and I am panting from the effort. I look at his serene face and wonder how he can mask it so well. I reach my hand under him and hold his balls in a soft hand, massaging them and wanting to taste them. I move my hand up under him and feel his granite erection. I moan and reach to feel the oozing tip. I lay my head at his hip and kissed him, suck his skin and run my tongue as deep as I can reach but he still does not roll over. He is good at this game. 

I look at this unmovable, but gorgeous body and pull his knee to the side giving me better access to pull his enormous cock to my mouth. I can just reach the soft tip with my tongue fully extended. I circle it and push against his hip to release more of him. My legs are still curled against the wall and he pulls them toward the headboard. My heat is right in front of his face and he kisses it sending a shock through me. I push on his hip wanting my prize. His big hand circles my thigh and lifts it as his face comes down on me. “Oh, Jesus!” My hips buck into him and I gasp for breath. My face is pushed into his erection and I feel it stretching my lips as it barely fits into my mouth. His hand is on my neck slowing me. 

We just play with each other and let our mouths explore slowly. I have learned how to lick and suck him and back off when he comes too close. This is my undoing and I have to come. I beg him and he lifts his body over me and pushes into my mouth while licking me. It is so erotic I might explode. My orgasm flings me into a wave of pleasure that rocks me to the core. My eyes open to the wild eyes of the beast kneeling between my legs. I encourage him to be a brute and he pulls my hips to him and rams me over and over until I see stars. His face is covered in sweat and he watches his cock slip in and out of me. "I’m sorry lass I canna stop it now." He spins me to my elbows and pulls my arse to him. “Spread ye legs Sassenach I will no be gentle wi’ye." Holding my hips he thrusts from tip to base making my head spin as I moan for more. “Jesus lass,” and I am flipped again and speared as his mouth kisses me deeply. My legs press open until my hips hurt and the third orgasm is upon me as I scream into his hand over my mouth. Kissing me deeply and gasping for breath I hear a great growl as he thrusts deeply and explodes into me. It takes several minutes for him to drop at my side and pull me close. The sweat on his hands makes it hard to hold me to him. We are a mess and struggling to find equilibrium. “Oh my God Jaime! That was so intense!” He smiles at me through his heaving, “lassie yer wicked in bed and I love ye for it.”

When we returned to earth, wrapped in each other’s arms Jaime teases me for being a wee seductress. “What would those fine upstanding passengers think if they knew how ye are when that door closes Sassenach?” I was feeling weird and couldn’t answer him. I was throbbing between my legs and feeling uncomfortable about it. I didn’t look him in the eye and my stupid thighs were squeezing together. I pushed up to scoot around him and he grabbed me pulling me half under him. He looked at me and grabbed my nipple shaking my breast hard. I gasped, “what are you doing?” He smiled wickedly at me and grabbed my earlobe with his teeth making me shout. He bit my neck and sucked the spot. Pulled my breast to his mouth to feast. I was gone and wanting another full course meal. His fingers played with me, pulling me up and stopping. My legs were shaking and I begged him. “Here is a fine big hand my love what should I do with it?” I grabbed his hand and stuffed it into me bucking my hips. His mouth was millimeters from mine but he would not press his lips. My groan started deep in my chest and I held his hand to me as we locked eyes. I exploded and felt catapulted into the heavens. He pulled me under his warm body and pushed the hair from my face. “I love you, I love you, I love you, Jaime” was all I could say. He held me close and whispered in my ear, “my beauty, my love.”

We dressed for dinner and our meeting with Raymon. We didn’t talk about the ‘what ifs’ but it was in our minds, shading everything. Without seeing any hint of land we were close to running the clock out on the solstice. As the sun set on the water it was a minute by minute struggle to keep our heads up and not dissolve into our fears. It was torture. With the plan made for the hour and minute of our crossing, we bid goodnight to Master Raymon. We strolled the upper deck and Jaime explained the farming aspect of Lallybroch. I learned the tenants had helped Ian seed the fields in Jaime’s absence and the harvest was still months off. Jaime, Ian, and Murtagh would help those tenants that were shorthanded to bring the fields in and there would be a great cooperative exchange of food among tenants and Lallybroch. About half of the harvest would be stored by each family for food during the year and the other half sold in Edinburgh. If the rain was just right, not too much or too little, the harvest would be huge and the purses fat for the year. 

We stood under a full moon and I was wrapped in my husband's arms. For just this moment It was perfect and we forgot our fears. Quite suddenly I felt something in my abdomen wiggle and then wiggle again. “Jesus H Roosevelt Christ!” My hand flew to my stomach and Jaime looked terrified. I looked up at his face and I was smiling so hard it hurt. “Your daughter just made her presence known!” It was the first time I felt her and I was over the moon. Jaime’s face was full of wonder and he held me close. 

Jaime asked if I would relax with him until I had to go. He untied my laces kissing the skin newly exposed. He nudged me to my back so he could wrap his hand around the bulge in my abdomen. He spoke to Faith about the Scotland culture and folklore. He described me as he saw me bringing tears to my eyes. He described the cradle he would make for her and promised she would lay by her parents until she could sleep the night through on her own. I was overwhelmed by his tenderness and the obvious time he spent thinking about these things. My stomach shook with the sobs I tried to stem. I didn’t want this moment to end with my tears. Jaime pulled me into his embrace and spoke quietly in Gallic to me. His voice was soft but very confident. I pressed my face into his neck and sighed.


	36. Leap of Faith

I tried so hard not to talk about the fear I felt but the words came gushing out anyway.“If I never see you again I want to thank you for loving me and your daughter Jaime.” My tears were like a dam broke and he hugged me to him. “Sassenach, my beauty, we will be in Scotland tonight, I know it. We will get to Lallybroch so I can leave ye a note of our arrival, then we head to stones. Ye must check the compartment in my room Sassenach, do ye hear me?” I felt him shake me, “yes, I hear you Jaime.” He crushed me to him. “It will be there Sassenach and ye will walk through the stones at two o’clock in the morning like we agreed on!” I gripped him like my lifeline. The twenty-first of June will sync with Scotland for a very short time and we chose two in the morning because it was solidly the same date on both sides. I would have to stay awake tonight until the time I cross.

Jaime pulled my head up to look at his eyes and I nearly broke. “If I could go through the stones and spare ye the danger I would Sassenach and I would live in the crushin city with ye if I could. I will hold ye in my bed through the night my love, I promise. Don’t be afraid.”

Due to Murtagh’s silence about the stones turning cold and dead to true love and opening only to collect a debt, they could not know the extent of the danger. Two hearts enter the stone and only one comes out. The witch’s warning to carry the burden of this knowledge or Jaime would lose his mind and heart was echoing in only one mind tonight, Murtagh’s. 

Claire’s tight hold on Jaime was suddenly gone when she vanished for the last time. The brave face he showed her crumbled into his sobs and he cried for his wife and child. He gripped his rosary and prayed for their safety. He prayed to reach Scotland in time. For hours he sat at the table and prayed. When he was completely spent from his tears and praying, Jaime took a deep breath and heard the words that meant everything, ‘land ho.’

Jaime’s head jerked up and he smiled in relief, “thank Christ!” Pulling the trunks to the door he ran for Murtagh and Master Raymon. Neither were below deck so Jaime raced up the stairs and finally found them pressed to the rail. “We’re home!” he shouted to them and slapped them both on the back. He hugged his godfather, Scotland will see ye well then Murtagh. He was beaming at Raymon, “thank ye.”

Many passengers were asleep when the call was made and they were slow getting above deck. Jaime, Murtagh, and Raymon were among the first to disembark and Jaime ran ahead to hire a ride to Lallybroch. It took over an hour of searching before he found a willing man for hire. They piled the cart with trunks and jumped in, Jaime riding in front with the driver. Master Raymon fell asleep and Murtagh leaned against the trunks and stared out into the darkness.

The cart rolled up to Lallybroch at four o’clock in the morning. The driver agreed to sleep for a few hours after Jaime paid him. Jenny came downstairs, and Ian followed a few minutes later. She was so happy to see them and wouldn’t let go of her brother for a full minute. Ian hugged Jaime and slapped Murtagh on the back before stepping back to look him up and down. “What on earth has happened to ye man?” Murtagh was skin and bones, hunched over with dark circles under his eyes. He pushed past them heading for his room. 

Jaime wrote a note and rolled it up tight, pressing it into a vial and corked it. Shoving his bed aside he placed the vial where it couldn’t be missed.

Jenny pulled some food together and then showed the driver to the spare room. Jaime was pulling his cart up to hitch Donus and Brimstone to it. He gave them each a pile of hay and a scoop of grain hoping they would have the strength to do what he would ask of them. He added another scoop of grain for each. 

When Jaime returned to the kitchen Jenny was dressed and piling food into a basket. She looked her brother in the eye and said, “I’m goin with ye.” Ian mentioned her condition to her quietly and she waved him off sayin she was fine, young, and strong. Ian finally agreed and when they were alone in the kitchen suddenly, he put his hand to her abdomen. Jenny threw her arms around his neck and kissed him deeply with tears in her eyes. “If this goes badly, I’ll be there to hold Jaime together and get him back here. If Claire comes through I’ll be there to give her aid if she needs it.”

When Jenny turned around Master Raymon walked into the kitchen with a large blue stone that he held in two hands. “Mademoiselle, would you be so kind and put this where Claire can find it? With  
With this note please.” Jenny looked at the beautiful rock and put it in Jaime’s room. What magic is this then? She thought. 

Jaime dragged Murtagh to the cart and nodded to Ian. He pushed the horses forward praying they would give him the speed and endurance he needed from them. The cart rolled away at a speed that made Ian worry and wish he had put his foot down with Jenny. 

Jaime drove the horses hard once the dawn illuminated the path. He didn’t speak because he was praying to God and to Claire, his only love. He looked back at Jenny repeatedly and saw she was wrapped in blankets. She would smile up at him and shout “hurry!”

Claire emerged from her room and saw Joe in a chair reading the newspaper. She crawled into his lap and rested her head. “How are you feeling pet?” Claire couldn’t speak and Joe didn’t push her. As always he adjusted the paper and read around her. Baritone came out of the bedroom and forced himself to walk by and not look at them. He didn’t know why he felt so jealous of Claire, Joe was gay to the bone, but they shared a special bond that left him out. When she was gone Joe would need support and he was glad he was here to give it. 

Claire went one last time to the attorney’s office to finalize the transfer of her possessions. She handed a last envelope to him. “What is this?”Claire sounded hollow, “it’s for Baritone. Two hundred grand in a cashier’s check. They spoke for thirty minutes and when Claire rose to leave the attorney held her hand and cleared his throat. “Miss Beauchamp, are you planning something harmful to yourself?

Claire smiled at the attorney with a clear understanding of his question. “I know it looks that way, but in truth I am going to the far corners of the earth, never to return. I have more to live for now than I ever have. Thank you for your concern.” He bid her farewell and safe journey.

My next stop was the B&B to see Fiona. She hugged me tightly for a full minute and told me to believe in the promise, the sacrifice, and God’s gift. “I have a special stone that will protect ye through yer passage. It’s been kept by the sisters for two-hundred years and it is here now Claire. You realize that this time tomorrow you will be a citizen of Scotland and the year 1743? I will think of ye often and the bonnie Dunn Bonnet. The sisters and I will start the ceremony at one o'clock in the morning. What is the time you are to walk through the stones?” I told her exactly one hour later. I described Master Raymon as best I could. They would bring him to the B&B and indoctrinate him to this century.

When I left Fiona there were tears streaking down my face. Fiona’s eyes were shining bright with an encouraging smile. I felt a mother’s love from her since the day we met. I would miss her dearly. When I walked into our house I asked Joe to go to Lallybroch with me. We pulled Baritone into the adventure and we were off. I was praying with all my heart the ship made port in Scotland in time to get Master Raymon to the stones on time. We would find out soon. 

The sun was setting as I raced up the stairs to Jaime’s room, followed by Joe and Baritone. Joe found the correct board and popped it open with his heal. I pulled the glass vial and dropped the note in my hand. I thought my heart would beat right out of my chest and opened it quickly.  
My Darling Sassenach,  
We reached Scotland just a few hours after I last saw ye. We are now at Lallybrock preparing to leave for the stones. Master Raymon has no hesitation. He is prepared for what is to come. Walk into the stones with all the love in yer heart and I will catch ye on the other side.  
My dearest love, it willna be long now.  
Jaime

I cried with relief and happiness, gasping for breath that I held throughout the reading. Joe was holding me up and pulled the note to read it. “They made it Pet. You’re going home.” That last sentence pierced my heart and I looked up at Joe knowing he understood. I was overwhelmed with appreciation.

I explained to Joe that I would leave messages for him in the secret compartment. I hoped he would read them and continue to care about my life as we moved forward. The three of us piled into the jeep and headed for home. 

I was as ready as I possibly could be and wanted the time time to pass more quickly. Each minute seemed like an hour. We were all tense as the night wore on. I chased the guys to bed at ten o'clock and insisted they sleep for a few hours. We would leave for Craigh na Dunn at One in the morning. I spent the remaining hours in this century placing my letter for Joe on my desk and praying I would be reunited with my husband before the dawn in the year 1743.

I woke the boys up after I packed the Jeep with blankets, flashlights, food, and drinks. I dressed in multiple layers for warmth and we set out for my fateful journey through time. As we approached I could see the torches of the sisters spinning in intricate circles, dipping, lifting their torches of fire to the heavens. They wore white dresses and the dance was complex. I could hear Fiona’s words on the wind speaking the ancient ritual to the stones. We stood and watched the ritual until it suddenly stopped. I threw my arms around Joe and cried my eyes out. He was so strong and walked me to Fiona. One last look at my dearest friend, “I love you Joe” The buzzing was so loud in my ears I could not hear what he said but my heart knew. 

Fiona took my hands and dropped a large diamond into them. It was a stunning stone. I could not hear her but I could read her lips, ‘For your passage.’ She hugged me tightly and kissed my cheek. I started moving toward the stones and never felt more sure of anything in my life. I’m coming Jaime. We are coming. My eyes lost their focus when I was close. I clutched the diamond and stretched out my hands.

Jaime was pushing the horses without mercy. He spoke to Donus and begged him to fly on the wind. Donus continued to deliver even when Brimstone was spent. It was time for Raymon to enter the stones and Jaime finally saw Craigh na Dunn up ahead. His heart almost burst with relief, ‘I’m comin for ye Sassenach.”Jaime hugged Master Raymon to him. Through his tears, he thanked him over and over. “I left a parting gift for Claire with instructions please see that she gets it. She is an extraordinary woman.”The two men bowed and Raymon walked into the stone. “Ah Diah!

Claire feared her eardrums would explode from the volume of the screams. She pressed her palms to her ears until she felt a hand yank one away. She screamed in the pitch black, freezing torture. The diamond had been snatched away. She continued to move one foot in front of the other not knowing if her direction was correct. She felt black hands all around her head. They began pulling her hair viciously, at times she fell to the ground feeling broken glass, sharp and wicked under her knees and palms. She pushed herself up and took another step only to feel a forceful kick in the middle of her back that sent her flying forward. “Stop it!” She shrieked. She tried so hard to take another step but felt she was walking through a tornado of high winds, and the shrieking of many tortured souls. The black hand was back and pressed into her abdomen. “No!” She screamed. She felt her womb being pulled away from her. She clutched at it and batted at the black entities. Claire screamed and tried to protect her abdomen. She was falling and hopeless to help herself when a warm hand grabbed her and pulled her up. An arm wrapped around her back and pushed her along.

Claire looked to her side and saw her mother was beside her, saving her, saving her baby. She was so beautiful. She stopped and kissed her daughter with a mother’s love. Claire was sobbing and thanking her, “I love you Mom.”She felt another hand grab hers and looked at the determined face of her father. He pulled her along and kicked out at the black hands trying to steal Claire’s baby. He kissed his daughter. “I love you daddy.”She felt a cold hand on hers as it twisted her wedding ring off her finger. “No!”She screamed. She looked down just as the stone flew off the ring and into the darkness. Claire’s scream shattered the tornado and the wind stopped. She felt a warm hand pull her forward very fast. Her feet were running as she was pulled forward. Suddenly the hand was attached to the arms of a beautiful woman with copper red hair and piercing blue eyes. She opened Claire’s hand and dropped into it the stone from her wedding ring. The woman embraced her with so much love in her eyes. Claire looked up at her, “thank you Ellen.” In the next second, she was lifted and thrown out of the stone onto the grass of Craigh na Dunn.

“Jesus Christ, Sassenach!”Jaime pulled her into his arms and laid her on the cart. His tears flowed as he felt his chest. There were two heartbeats. He saw Claire’s eyes struggle to open. “Thank Christ!”Jenny wrapped a blanket around Claire and hugged her tightly. “My sister is home, thank Christ.”Hidden behind one of the stones, Murtagh crossed himself and cried his thanks to heaven. It was over and Claire lives.

Claire opened her eyes and looked frantically for Jaime. “Jaime!?”He pulled her to him, “here lass, right beside ye, always.” When their lips touched there was a great clap of thunder overhead but neither of them heard it. On the return trip to Lallybroch Claire and Jenny got caught up and the past three months. Each revealed to the other that they were pregnant resulting in a hug that continued for several minutes. They laid down on blankets face to face and continued talking through the long ride. Murtagh rode shotgun and smiled as the miles passed by. 

Only Jaime continued to shed tears and pray for his innocent daughter, Faith. He repeated a gallic prayer throughout the ride to see his daughter safe in her mother’s womb. Claire told him about the black entities, the tornado, and shrieking souls. She told him they tried to steal her baby and she felt it leaving her body. She moved a curl off his forehead and recounted his mother returning the stone of her wedding rind and running with Claire away from those who would harm her. “She saved us Jaime, as did my parents. I have never been so scared in my life but one by one they protected and guided me through.”

Jaime was so overjoyed to see his wife that the worry for Faith did not set in until they were on the road back to Lallybroch. Now he could not control his shaking body and tears of fear. The women started laughing and yelling in the back of the cart. Jaime stopped the horses and swung down to check on Claire. “What’s amiss Sassenach?” Jenny popped her head up with bright eyes to her brother, “with a kick like yer bairn has I think it must be a boy!” She laughed and hugged Claire.

Jaime felt his knees give way as Jenny’s statement sunk into his brain. “Jesus Christ, thank ye.”He needed to be home at Lallybroch and looked forward to sleeping with his wife and child tonight. Claire was finally his and she would never disappear again. Jaime looked to the heavens, “promise fulfilled, we are together again Jaime."

Joe watched Claire melt into the stone and his knees hit the earth. “Oh my God! Be happy Pet.” Baritone helped him stand and as they turned to leave a great explosion came from the stone and a small man was shot out like a cannonball. His body was limp and lifeless. Smoke rose from his body. Joe ran to him and felt for a pulse. “His heart has stopped!” I am starting CPR someone please call an ambulance! Joe did chest compression and Baritone breathed as Joe showed him. They finally heard the siren of the ambulance in the distance.

The EMT gave Joe the assessment of the patient and said it looked like he had been tortured. “He was damn lucky you found him, though I still wonder where he came from.”

It would never be known that Raymon knew his fate if he entered the stones because he had cheated them once before with magic. In his two day absence in France, he sat alone in a rented room and considered his options. He could use his blue stone to jump into another time and avoid the prosecution that awaited him in the passage. For two days the blue stone sat on his knees ready to save him. But, who then would save Claire? When he entered the stones he knew he was walking to his death, and this fate he accepted so she would be happy.

When the dawn came for June twenty-second Joe made coffee, ate a hateful bran muffin, dry, and sat down to read the paper. Later that morning the doorbell rang and an attorney handed Joe his card. They sat at the table Claire sat at on countless days and the attorney laid out the inheritance she had left him. Over three million in bank accounts, a portfolio of mutual funds and stocks, and the deed to Lallybroch. The attorney provided a written copy of all the assets, the envelope for Baritone, and the stipulation that Lallybroch is transferred to Fiona if Joe does not want to keep it. 

He shook Joe’s hand and said, “she is really incredible, a very rare woman. Joe’s eyes were as big as saucers as it started to sink in. He had no idea the extent of her wealth and he knew what she wanted him to do with it. The doorbell rang again. The attorney apologized for the oversight and handed Joe a wrapped box from Claire. Joe sat in his chair and remembered all the mornings she would come out of her room sleepy and crawl into his lap. Sometimes she asked him to read to her, other days she would fall back to sleep. He unwrapped the box and pulled out a beautiful stethoscope. Inscribed on the front was;  
Dr. Joseph Abernathy  
My dearest friend

**Author's Note:**

> Beauty Chooses, part one is complete. I will start part two in one month when West Bound is complete. Thank you so much for reading my story.


End file.
